187 Comments

Arsenal Versus Liverpool: Tuning Up The Orchestra

Our little break from the long mountainous climb to the Premier League summit didn’t last long. A quick kick about on the plateau which is the FA Cup third round with hard working but ultimately out classed, out passed, out manoeuvred and out scored Sunderland and we are back onto the steep slopes. We travel to Anfield to face a Liverpool side against whom, by my calculations, we are two points down. How so? Well I think we did enough to beat them at our place when they last visited and as such a home draw left us smarting. It would be rather nice to get those points back tonight and despite their struggles against Exeter I doubt it will be an easy task.

Liverpool at Anfield is never to be taken lightly whatever their recent form and like many teams they will raise their game when we are in town. There is much being made of the mutual respect between the managers and I’m quite happy about that. Far too much hot air is wasted attempting to raise up the mean minded, low brow abuse and petty school yard insults trotted out by certain coaches. Too much ink spilled trying to convince a gullible public that such pathetic barbs constitute ‘mind games’ or some sort of clever psychology. I’m much happier to hear that Herr Klopp’s opinion of Arsène just keeps going up and up. Much is also being made of the results between the two managers all of which have occurred in Champion’s League matches between Arsenal and Dortmund. I’m not entirely convinced that there is much relevance here as the German side were settled, familiar with their manager’s tactics and style of play and to a large part chosen for their ability to work well within his chosen structure.

Since arriving on Merseyside Jürgen Norbert has faced the usual challenges of jumping into a new set up with new playing staff and with the season already under way. He has also been beset with injury problems exacerbating his desire to get his team playing his preferred brand of heavy metal football. I certainly don’t think it’s fair to judge him until he’s had a lot more time to build his own squad and instil his methodology. Having said all that he was unbeaten in his first six games in charge and under his watchful eye Liverpool have beaten Chelsea and Man City and absolutely hammered Southampton. The Ethiad result was perhaps the most eye catching but in such a topsy turvy unpredictable season who can say? Losing to Watford, Crystal Palace and Newcastle while stuffing the filthy rich Oil City and beating high flying Leicester is kind of par for the course these days.

So as you’ve probably guessed I’m delivering my well worn ‘anything can happen’ sermon on this clear and crisp Wednesday morning.

Despite that horrible and quickly forgotten blemish down at St Mary’s we sit atop the current form table. Taken over the previous six outings there are five green squares all with a nice plump W inside them. Liverpool’s inconsistency is on the other hand more frenetic than ours and laid bare by the same table which shows them losing three, drawing one and winning the remaining two.

If I was a Liverpool fan, and I do know a couple, I’d be most concerned about the defence. King Kolo looked lost when we tore into them at The Emirates last season. Unable to cope with our pace and invention he was, if not actually a liability, then certainly bypassed with ease on more than one occasion. He nearly gifted us a goal in the fifth minute but in fairness responded quickly to clear the danger after his keeper parried Aaron Ramsey’s shot. I highlight Kolo as he is nearly a year older now and pulled up with what looked like cramp recently making him doubtful for this game. If he doesn’t start Liverpool’s new signing Steven Caulker could make his début.

I’d hope either an ageing or makeshift centre back pairing would provide a splendid playground for Theo to dance through and Mesut to weave his magic threads in and around but of course I am not manager of Arsenal and there is no guarantee Theo will even start. With Ox showing signs of getting over his injury lay off and Campbell little short of a revelation our patched up squad has actually played itself into the kind of form where Arsène has, if not selection headaches, then at least selection mild discomfort. Our skipper is back from the dead and back in the mix, Calum Chambers has looked a little raw but has acquitted himself very well in midfield and Mathieu Flamini, much to the chagrin of the transfer junkies and haters, hasn’t put a foot wrong.

Will Arteta and Flamini play at the base of the midfield à la the Santi / Coquelin axis and allow Aaron to reprise his more attacking role starting nominally on the wing but drifting all over the pitch and creating havoc in the opposition defence? If so who misses out? Or has Aaron now convinced Arsène of his credentials running from deep, or does the ‘Ox through the middle’ experiment continue? Isn’t it nice to have such conundrums? Is the plural of conundrum actually conundra? We live in an uncertain world and must learn to accept that there are some things we simply cannot know and much we cannot control.

Speaking of the Lazarus like return of our forgotten heroes, I turned to Arsenal.com in an idle moment yesterday to be greeted by the heart warming sight of a photograph of Tomáš Rosický. The diminutive maestro was in bib and gloves and darting between training mannequins in much the same way as he darts through Spurs defenders. It was a vision for me. There are plenty of arguments among Arsenal fans and one of the myths about this blog is that we discourage and actively stifle debate. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Many is the time we like to argue over who is Arsenal’s best or most creative or most important player. Which was the best goal, who is better in any given position. For me the whole best player debate is a little disingenuous as we aren’t really saying player x is better than player y, we are actually saying player x is my favourite.

Doesn’t matter if Mesut can glide past opposition midfielders as if they’ve been turned to stone and pass better than Koscielny, because he can’t do what Kos can. Similarly stick Mesut in goal and Petr behind the centre forward and we’d be in trouble. So I prefer the debate over who are our favourite players at the club. For me right now it is Tomáš . Has been for years in fact. I love plenty of the others of course but our number seven makes me smile with his audacity, ebullience, enthusiasm, invention and his style. He is at the stage of his career where he has nothing to prove to anybody and has all the experience he needs to draw on for any given situation. I hope he will be back as soon as possible, it’s a shame he isn’t adding to the selection problems this evening, but as he enters the twilight of a cruelly foreshortened Arsenal career he can be absolutely vital to the latter half of our season.

Don’t expect me to be too rational about the club I support, don’t expect me to predict victory every week. Do expect me to turn a blind eye to the mistakes of my favourites and to glory in every little thing they do well. I want those two points back tonight but most of all I want to be around to enjoy a glorious swansong from our own little Mozart.

66 Comments

Arsenal Should Win The Title Says The Data

premier-league-trophy

How often do we hear the old cliché “football is all about emotion”? While this may be used to explain the wild swings in opinions and attitudes of pre and even pubescent supporters of Arsenal Football Club, it can in no way excuse such conduct by the mainstream media as well as other opinion-leaders (bloggers, podcasters, etc) who pound the Arsenal beat in both print and electronic media. It took me a while in adult life to understand that exploiting emotions has been a longstanding practice of politicians and their stenographers in the media, who see a gullible, ignorant public as vital in maintaining their power and dominion over us. How else could they implement and sustain policies that are alien to the interests of the majority.

I apply the same paradigm to Arsenal-football as I do to current affairs. Four months ago, only four games into the season, after eking out a 0:1 victory over Newcastle, the mainstream-media went into hyperdrive with doom and gloom.

Alan Shearer, now a Match-of-the-Day supremo, opined:
“Not hard to judge Arsenal. They need a top class center forward.”

Danny Mills, Shearer’s frequent sideman on the Beeb, was equally prophetic:
“Arsenal are going to struggle this season.”

Arash Heckmat, who covered the game for the Mirror, had a gloomy narrative:
“There are still big question marks over Arsenal….”

Admittedly the Gunners did not have the best of start to the season. After 4 games they had scored three (3) and conceded three (3). Arsene admitted before the Newcastle game that performances had been “very average.”

In comparison Manchester City was on fire. Four games, four victories, scoring 10 goals (2.5 goals per game) and zero (0) goals conceded. Manchester City’s official twitter account bragged:
“City break club record with tenth consecutive league victory!”

Similarly, the media was blowing City’s trumpet. With the exception of DeBruyne, they had by that time done everything Wenger was later made infamous for apparently neglecting, i.e. making a massive spend on outfield players:
Sterling – £49M
Mangala – £32M
Delph – £8M
Otamendi – £33M
DeBruyne – £54.5M

That, girls and boys, adds up to a cool £176.5 million to supplement an already expensive squad containing the likes of Aguero, Silva, Toure and Kompany to name a few. Given such massive spending by our main title rival, on what is generally accepted are quality players, how can the media now say with any credibility that the quality of the Premier League is less than normal? Is it any coincidence that such a thesis gets traction because Arsenal are now top of the table due to the manager standing by the quality of his squad and refusing to spend wildly? Similarly, we currently have media whore and club parasite Piers Morgan flogging the meme that the FA Cup is no longer a big trophy conveniently after Arsenal has won it twice in succession and showing a strong commitment to winning it three in a row.

But I digress. Going back to late August-early September the MSM had established a narrative that big spending City was well on the way to smashing all before them and Arsenal was going to struggle. Some of us amateur bloggers, including yours truly, refused to drink the kool-ade. I said in my September blog:
“As with City and goal scoring, it is questionable whether this level can be sustained over the season given it is relatively the same midfield over the past 2-3 years.”

Since then they have gone from 2.5 to 1.95 Goals  per game compared to a 3-year average of 2.2. Most importantly they are leaking goals, from a statistical impossible 0 GA per game to 1.05 which is above their 3-yr average of 0.96. Talk about being brought back to earth with a thud.

As for Arsenal, after reviewing the statistics, I tried to convince my readers that far from dying, Arsenal was very much alive and based on immediate past history would soon get the results that would put the club in title-winning contention. The proof is clearly in the pudding; four months later we are now top of the table.

After 20 games, relying solely on descriptive statistics, I have come to the conclusion that the club is doing well but is still under-performing in some key areas. The figures suggest it is reasonable to expect improved performances in the second half of the season but not as dramatic as between games 4 and 20. I will use the following series of graphs to make my point. Note that the information used is publicly available at Squawka.com and I have compiled the data and color coded the information as follows:
Red: 3-yr Average
Amber: 4-week Average (1st 4-weeks of 2015-16 EPL season)
Green : 20-week Average (1st 20-weeks of 2015-16 EPL season)

Graphic #1: Goals For Per Game

Goals For

It was not long ago, for weeks after Newcastle, there was virtual panic inside and outside the Arsenalsphere because the club had stumbled out of the box with a mere 0.75 Goals Scored per game. Two competing narratives were “Giroud could never lead Arsenal to a title” and “Walcott could never be a central striker.” Even though the club had a three-year average of 1.85 goals per game with the mostly same combo,  instead of concluding that the scoring rate  was an extreme aberration, MSM-bloggers-podcasters in general instead chose to incite fans into demanding a new world-class striker. Four months later, with Giroud (10-goals) leading the way, AFC is scoring at an average of 1.7 goals per game and seemingly destined to meet our usual standard.

Graphic #2: Chances per Game

20 Chances per game

This is one metric that was simply off the charts at the end of August; AFC was creating an average of 16.25 chances per game compared to the prior three-year average of 11.71. The team has now regressed closer to the mean but clearly at a higher rate than previous years. Seems it is the Özil effect.

Graphic #3: Conversion Rate

20 Conversion rate

This picture speaks more than a thousand words. Historically AFC converts chances at a near 16% clip and after Newcastle the MSM and its echo-chamber went into emotional overdrive as the team stumbled at 5%. It begs the question how could the media and their lemmings project that a top club like Arsenal would sustain such a low rate. Sixteen games later they are converting at 14%, just about 2% off the 3-year standard. As for that lamp-post Giroud, he is knocking them in at 20.9%. In comparison, Aguero, almost everybody’s PL benchmark, when fit manages 24.1% and Lewandowski, arguably Europe’s best striker, is at 20.3%.

Graphic #4: Shot Accuracy

20 Shot Accuracy

The shot accuracy story is similar to conversion rate already discussed. Interestingly there is a perfect equivalence with Giroud’s shot accuracy at 50%, as measured by Squawka, compared to the club’s. Is there a statistician willing to do a correlation coefficient (“r”)? That is beyond the scope of this blog but it should make an interesting line of inquiry for those who need confirmation of Giroud’s current importance to the club.

Graphic #5: Goals Against Per Game

20 Games AgainstFinally, graphic #5 demonstrates that while AFC was unable to sustain a miserly 0.75 Goals Against after four games, the club is defending even better than it did in prior years, only conceding  at 0.9 goals per game compared to 1 gpg. In a game of small margins, if that rate is sustained until May, the club would concede only 34 goals over the season. That would best any of the recent season’s efforts, practically Chelsea-esque who in the past three seasons conceded an average of 33.

From the data above, with no further injuries and some key players returning from the sick-bay, it is clear that Arsenal has the capacity to improve in all the key metrics that indicate success. The only exception I would make are those crazy Chance Creation numbers. Goal-scoring, in particular, I am convinced that with Alexis(soon returning to fitness), Giroud, Theo and Ramsey meeting their average numbers plus an improving Campbell, I can easily see us getting back to that 1.85 average. That means 36 more goals in 18 matches or 2 goals per match. Given our ability to hold teams to an average of one goal per game, such goal-scoring and defending is title winning form.

In the same breadth it must be recognized that that City has the capacity to sustain a high performance level and win the title. Those attacking players they signed are not chopped liver. It is well chronicled that their defending is the problem. Mangala and Otamendi must be an example of the biggest waste of £65 million by a football club, and an indictment of the mantra that a club must pay over the odds to improve their league position. Setting aside their profligacy, the data below clearly shows if MCFC can improve their goal scoring and defending even marginally they could be a real force.

MCFC 3-Yr Avg 4 Games 20 Games
GF per Game 2.20 2.50 1.95
Chances Per Game 12.40 11.75 13
Conversion Rate 16% 17% 15%
Shot Accuracy 48% 60% 52%
GA per Game 0.96 0 1.05

But my focus is Arsenal, not City. I am concerned that the media narrative is settling for the sentiment that Arsenal will win the title. I must emphasize that in the prediction business, media sentiment is a contrary-indicator. Their standard procedure is to assume that the most recent results are a predictor of future performance. To the contrary, any serious student of the social sciences  would have learnt that historical consistency is the only reliable indicator of future success. No wonder Arsene Wenger emphasizes consistency for himself and his teams. With clearly inferior squads during the barren years his teams were among the top 3 or 4, never less. In the past three years he has been able to acquire better players, and as evident by 2015 statistics (AFC being the team that earned most points in the calendar year), we can predict with a reasonable degree of certainty that with better quality players, Arsene’s team will either meet or exceed their 3-year average.

As I concluded four months ago: “Unlike the media, which thrives on emotion, in the silent statistical world, there are no headlines. There are no narratives. No excuses. No hope and no despair. Just data.” And that data suggests Arsenal has done well and will do better.

May cannot come too soon for me to see how right or wrong I am.

67 Comments

Arsenal – Black Cat Episode 2

 

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Hyvää huomenta Positivistas,

I admit I anticipated problems this morning in producing anything vaguely readable or fresh about yesterday’s game. Different competion to the 4th December but same score, same result, almost the same players, same one-eyed nonsense from Sam Allardyce about how his side deserved “more” from the game, same weather, same bloody goal-scorers for Gawd’s sake….Ok Ok, Lee Cattermole was not booked but could I weave 600 words from such a handful of limp straw ? …………… What is an artist to do ??!

Well like all the truly greats when faced with a blank canvas I go out and steal.

And my choice of burglary victim was “A Love Supreme” the biggest and, it seemed to me, the most sophisticated of Sunlun fan sites. Those Mackems and their match report did not disappoint;

“Sunderland lost 3-1 away to Arsenal in a game where we were undone by a side with far more quality in their ranks. An early goal from Jermain Lens gave the travelling fans hope, but three great goals from Arsenal saw us eliminated from the FA Cup at the first hurdle.”

“Sam Allardyce had explicitly stated he would name a team of youngsters down at Arsenal, partly down to our league position, but also down to the horrendous fixture congestion which we’d been conned into, having to play three games just days apart. Whether he had a change of heart, or it was just mind games, that wasn’t how the starting XI ended up, at all.”

I could not have put it better myself, saved all that tedious crowing about us being clearly the better side. (Using a word like “explicitly” about Fat Sam’s pronouncements is also ‘cutting edge’ in my view). Describing the second half they went on to say;

“Their passing was very impressive, and the pace in which they played seemed too sophisticated for us.”

“It was almost deja vu the way Arsenal worked their way in for the second goal — passing, moving, and scoring goals is obviously something they’re proficient in, unfortunately we wouldn’t know anything about that, ourselves”

And for all our readers interested in the topic of refereeing A Love Supreme’s commentator added this pithy observation;

“Arsenal should have scored again after Giroud was played through on goal. He was brought down by Deandre Yedlin, who just full-on charged into him. It was a definite penalty, but the ref wasn’t having it. Hilarious. Not very often those decisions go our way, and what a waste of a time to cash that in. The game is already gone!”

 Such painfully honest writing deserves to be read in its whole excruciating sequence of revelation and self torture. It is the sheer truthfulness that gets me. (I’m welling up here) I attach a link at the bottom of the page.

As I say I think they have it spot on. We were far superior from minute one to minute ninety three. We found it difficult to score a second and really get a solid grip on the game but the introduction of Aaron and Mikel raised the pace of our attacking game in the final third and the quality of our passing just above the level that Sunlun could cope with. The outcome after that was pretty much inevitable.

Pats on the back for Joel and young Alex Iwobi, the Ox was much livelier and even Theo was much more involved. Chambers is growing into his job in midfield, bit erratic but loads of energy. And don’t forget Cech. What saves Petr had to make where performed in a manner that made the difficult look common-place, a trait of all great keepers.

If I was looking for areas of improvement I thought we looked a little edgy in the centre of defence to the high ball and Fetcher caused us a few problems. I expect Per will be back for Anfield as instead of the ageing Fletcher it will be Benteke swooping through the air six yards out.

Enjoy your Sunday and roll on Wednesday.

http://www.a-love-supreme.com/Match%20Reports/matcharsenalawaycup.htm

 

127 Comments

Arsenal Versus Sunderland: Sparkling Near The Brim

1 FA Cup

Is it just me or does it seem an awfully long time ago that we last had a game of footy to contemplate? I suspect the schedule of one match every twenty minutes which we experience over the Christmas and New Year holiday acclimatises us to a more frantic agenda. Combine that with the ominous creak that is the transfer window being dragged open and we are in the kind of territory which kept Isaac Newton up chewing his pencil to a stub all hours of the night.

During the festive period time speeds up to an amphetamine insanity with exhausted teams staggering punch drunk onto the turf having barely had chance to get their kit dry in time for the next fixture. Vic Akers and his minions must have a bloody nightmare in the laundry room while the rest of us are carolling and making with the crackers and paper crowns. Then, without the opportunity to as much as change gear, we are plunged into January.

Each minute of this benighted month is like a long drawn out dental procedure. Time slows to a glutinous crawl as people spend their every waking hour discussing the most pointless and boring topic known to man. Transfers. Players who they don’t know (and occasionally some they do) and whether and for how much they might or might not leave their current clubs. Mind rupturing conversational tedium, flowing with glacially sluggish momentum throughout the internet and, I imagine, in the pubs and work places.

The dislocating effect of relativity turns my senses reeling and I can quite see why Sir Isaac got into such a lather about the whole thing. It will, in fact, have been a week since we last played. A performance which while not quite as bad as some would have us believe was nonetheless pretty turgid in patches. My experience, and my gut feeling, is that a side freshened up with a couple of new faces and after enjoying a full seven days of monopoly and table tennis ought to present a different proposition. The team which sweated and stumbled its way to the narrowest of victories against Newcastle should have revived sufficiently to put up a spirited defence of our cup.

Make no mistake this competition is ours to lose and everybody else’s to win. We are not simply the holders (or ‘champions’ as we are being encouraged, for no obvious reason, to say these days) but the most successful club in the history of the oldest football competition in the world. Our manager shares, along with George Ramsey, the position of the most prosperous manager in the competition. With no disrespect to the esteemed Mr Ramsey who’s most recent victory came, after all, in 1920, we can state without fear of contradiction that Arsène has enjoyed greater success in the FA Cup than any other manager in the modern era. Although I suppose that depends on when you date such a nebulous period of recent history. Gosh, time is a dodgy subject for a scientific illiterate like myself to get involved with isn’t it?

I shall draw a veil over the vagaries of temporal inexactitude and move swiftly along to assessing today’s opponents. Managed by the pugnacious, pug faced old warhorse that is ‘Big’ Sam Allardyce, Sunderland will be, as Arsène informed the slavering asylum escapees at his press conference, well organised and well motivated. This is especially true when one considers that the cup represents the only realistic opportunity for an open topped bus ride along the banks of the Wear in four months time.

Knock out competitions can throw up remarkable results. We all have our favourite memories from Hereford to Colchester, Wimbledon to Bournemouth – there is something for everyone. One of my happiest FA Cup afternoons was provided by today’s opposition. To be precise it was Bob Stokoe’s merry men, the 1973 incarnation of Sunderland, who pulled off a hugely unlikely Wembley win against the universally reviled Leeds United. We have also been on the receiving end of some horror shows in the Cup upon which I have no desire to dwell here today. My point is that given the propensity for surprising results in such competitions there is perhaps little to be gained from too close an examination of current form.

On the other hand I have a reputation for long winded seemingly never ending blogs to uphold around here, so with that in mind let us examine the current form of today’s opposition. Sunderland were convincing winners in their most recent fixture. That is just about as positive as it gets for the Black Cats I’m afraid. The win may have been by a comfortable three goals to one but it came at the expense of Aston Villa. Let’s be honest here. If Positively Arsenal put a team together tomorrow we’d fancy our chances of getting a result at Villa Park. Prior to that match Sunderland had lost five on the bounce and only Villa’s abject plight prevents the Wearsiders from being the bookies favourites to be entertaining the likes of Preston, Reading and Forest next season.

Granted we have blown hot and cold lately ourselves, but honestly, magic of the cup aside, we ought to have enough to get the job done today. This is realistic, positive observation. Not hubris, not over confidence and certainly not disdain for Premier League opposition. I know that none of us here are guilty of entertaining such deadly sins and we all know the players won’t be either.

The only circumstance I can imagine which might derail our defence of our trophy today is too many changes, such as those witnessed in the League Cup exit in Sheffield. While Arsène hinted in his press conference that he might rest Mesut but not Theo, I fear that the multiple change, over rotation junkies among you might be in for ‘little bit disappointment’ today. I certainly hope so. The frankly fanciful line ups I’ve seen bandied about (including I might add one which featured a player who has no connection to our club beyond that dreamt up by a journalist – shame on you) are no more than footballing suicide notes made up of player’s names.

I expect some rotation but more along the lines of Kieran, Ospina, Chambers and Ox than a sudden influx of youth teamers. But then we don’t do silly speculation here do we? Instead of second guessing the manager, let’s take a leaf out of his book and just take this thing one game at a time. The likelihood of any team winning the same trophy three seasons in succession are historically remote, statistically unlikely and extraordinarily difficult even for a great club like ours to contemplate. On the other hand we start each third round match with the precisely the same chance of winning at Wembley as every other club. So while we are realistic, and while we know we should look no farther than ninety minutes against Sunderland, it doesn’t hurt to dream just a little, does it?

99 Comments

Arsenal Players and Management – Analysed !

arse squad

Well, it’s a new year and I think that’s a good time to look at the squad and management. So let’s analyse them individually through my expert eyes.

Petr Čech

A Chelsea back up player that showed us all we need to know when he threw in two during our first league game against West Ham. In the twilight of his career but I suppose he is better than the alternatives.

Davis Ospina

The less said about this dwarf keeper the better. I mean, he can’t even catch a ball and nearly saw us out of the Champion’s League.

Mathieu Debuchy

That he was still playing for Newcastle at 29 years of age says it all. Now he can’t even get a place on the substitutes bench. He won’t fight for his place because he is weak minded.

Laurent Koscielny

Was plucked from obscurity when we should have been buying Samba. Turns his back on driven balls and has a horrible habit of going to ground in the box, a penalty waiting to happen in every game.

Kieran Gibbs 

When he is ever fit to play his positioning is useless. He can run quite fast but offers little when he gets to where he is running. Only makes the squad because of the home grown rule.

Nacho Monreal

Yet another bargain basement buy. He is a liability. Poor defender by any measure. Worst of all he looks like Peter Crouch.

Per Mertesacker

This guy has the turning circle of a battleship. He is six foot five and can hardly get off the ground, midgets beat him in the air. Quite assured on the ball when he eventually passes it, after allowing the opponents to get back into shape.

Calum Chambers

Honestly, I don’t even know what this kid is supposed to be. We have tried him at right back, centre half and defensive midfield and he has failed to impress anywhere. £16 million down the drain? I ask you.

Gabriel

Another cheap option. Total madman,he couldn’t even see what Costa was up to! Reasonable back up but no more. You get what you pay for, I suppose.

Hector Bellerin

This lad looks like a prospect, but no way should he be learning on the job at our great club. Barca didn’t want him so that perhaps should tell us what we need to know. Not big enough to defend his post. Still, he is lightning fast and might make a good winger some day.

Tomáš Rosický

This ageing perma-crock has played about 10 games in 10 years. Never big and powerful enough to be a proper player in the Premier League. Good on the ball but nothing at the end of if. Runs about like a senile terrier chasing a tennis ball. His days are long gone. Deadwood if ever I saw it.

Aaron Ramsey

The most over-rated player at the club (and that’s saying quite something ). Loses the ball all over the pitch. Obsessed with scoring, the greedy  git. No defensive discipline at all. Vacates the midfield in search of glory. He isn’t even English. Should have been sold into the Championship where he belongs.

Mikel Arteta

Lol. I mean, just lol. He came to us when already past his best, as a replacement for the sensational Cesc Fàbregas, I mean, just as if! !??!! What legs he ever had have gone and he just passes backwards. Captain? He couldn’t lead a dog on a walk. We need a leader of men, not a leader of the conga at an old folks home.

Santiago “Santi” Cazorla González

Moved into midfield because he couldn’t cut it on the wing, where he was bought to play. How can a midget play centre-mid in this league? I suppose we can say he has two good feet, but we need power and pace in midfield and he offers neither.

Jack Wilshere

This lad looked good 6 years ago, but it turns out he is made of glass. Some good close control but just runs into blind alleyways. No longer sure what his best position is, but it should be at another club as we can’t depend on him being fit. Popular with fans because he is a local lad, but is that enough?

Mathieu Flamini

Left us when we needed him and came back when no one wanted him. He was free for a reason. Technically woeful. All he can do is shout and point. A red card waiting to happen too. Never good enough. The rich bastard.

Mesut Özil

Lazy overpriced Muslim flop. Floats about the field like he is out for a jog. Doesn’t think a player like him should track back. Proper big time Charlie, just because his team mates won the World Cup for him. OK, he gets some assists, but he is a passenger the rest of the time. To think we once had Cesc and now we have him. Its disgusting.

Francis Coquelin

Called back in an emergency after several loan spells where he had failed to impress anyone. Very limited player . OK as a back up. We need an upgrade in this position that has been neglected for 10 years. With money in the bank we should be buying a beast, instead we have to put up with a player we were trying to push out of the door.

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain

Five years since Southampton fleeced us and he has not improved a jot ! He plays out wide and gives us no end product. Spends most of his time looking down at his boots. No goals, no assists, no anything apart from a winning smile.

Olivier Giroud

He is a lamppost. The worst striker to ever lead the line for Arsenal. He is a big lump with the pain threshold of a toddler. Absolutely no pace, when he can be bothered running that is. His flicks lead to a goal once in a blue moon and somehow people think this is OK. Perhaps fans are as infatuated by his good looks as he clearly is? After Wright, Henry, and the wonderful RVP we are stuck with this. Its not right. It just isn’t!

Danny Welbeck

Does he even still play for us any more? A United cast off. No end product.Can play centre forward or on the wing, but when I say “play”?? You know.  If he ever does play again he will offer little.

Theo Walcott

We have been paying him massive wages for almost 10 years now, and for what? He can run fast, but we pay him to play football. After 10 years of doing nothing on the wing he has been shunted to centre forward because everyone else is crap. Goes totally absent for almost all of our games and can only score if he hasn’t got time to shit himself.

Joel Campbell

Yet another one that was half way out of the door before we negligently left ourselves short following another useless transfer window. He will never be good enough. Works hard it has to be said.

Alexis

He is God. The best player since Henry. He is everything a professional player should be. Wonderful beautiful glorious man.  Runs endlessly, tracks back and scores for fun.

Arsène Wenger

Useless at tactics, outdated training methods, stealing £8 million a year. He puts faith in players we all know cant string two games together. Happy with his 4th place ‘trophy’, and he is French. What more can I say WEGNER OUT.

Steve Bould

Nothing more than a yes man for the great dictator. He is allowed to do nothing more than put out the cones.

Stan Kroenke

An owner with no interest in football. Has bought 70% of the club so he can steal money under the pretence of one of his companies doing some imaginary work. Gives the manager free reign to run the club like a holiday camp as long as he gets the Champions League jackpot money.

Ivan Gazidis

Just a spin doctor. Promised us we would like Bayern Munich and we are not. He lied to us.

 

 

 

Now at  this point I feel its only fair to say I’ve never actually seen any of these players play the game. All my insight comes from reading twitter, blogs and listening to podcasts. I am surprised though that given what I’m lead to believe, Arsenal have won back to back FA cups and currently sit on top of the hardest league in the world.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

 

48 Comments

Arsenal Didn’t Fail In The Austerity Years

Today a guest post from Muppet. written on New Years day
 —————————————————————————————————————————————–
76 Comments

Arsenal – Average performance, good result

Koscielny

Boker Tov Positivistas,

I think the lesson I take from this season’s Festive football fixtures is “to expect the unexpected”, and perhaps it will be the theme of the whole 2015/2016 campaign?

Having allowed the in game adrenaline to cool I enjoyed the game yesterday. We were clearly not at our best. After a bright opening we found ourselves out of ideas and the visitors worked their way commendably back in to the game. By the half way mark it was an even contest.

My pre game expectation was that Toon would come for a point, ten players behind the ball all afternoon, park the proverbial charabanc, and cross the half way line only with great reluctance. As matters turned out when they found they were able to and allowed to play football they responded positively. It made for better entertainment, looking back, albeit a little hard on the nerves at the time.

The hysteria about McLaren setting out to ‘kick’ Arsenal out of the game seem misdirected. Precious little dishonest aggression from either side although the Ox was a little fortune that Taylor was following the ball rather than spotting his scissoring an opponent after 20 minutes. Don’t do that at the Camp Nou son, it will be noticed. Colback picked up his traditional weekly booking – regular as clockwork that boy – remarkably consistent. These things happen, no harm done, both sides I thought treated each other and the laws of the game with respect.

Into the second half and for a few minutes the visitors really did have the initiative with Petr Cech earning his corn in his busiest home game since Bayern ( or Spurs !). Man of the Match was not in much doubt. There was little rocking along the back four and, unusually, for our intrepid and older Spanish full back the incisive Geordie thrusts were coming down that left hand side. Nacho had a difficult afternoon by his smooth standards but, to his credit, stayed on the job and put in a few important interceptions and tackles. When we went forward we looked dangerous to the edge of the NUFC box but after that, in the tight confined of Barcode Central, we never managed to find the extra space to put in a killer shot or accurate header.

The one serious error I thought McLaren’s and his boys made in the second half, after about an hour really, and when they were still enjoying possession and creating chances was to start wasting time. It may have been part of their game plan, it may have been because after an hour of running at us they were knackered. That breather for both sides changed the rhythm of the game, as did the introduction of that old piece of Costa Rican deadwood Joel Campbell ! We steadied, and began to move forward again.

And then the goal, described by some as a ‘tap in’, by others as a ‘classic poacher’s’ goal. Probably somewhere between the two but Laurent did very well to find that yard of space that had eluded every other Arsenal player all afternoon and despatch the ball efficiently.

After the goal I thought we were relatively comfortable. Not that Toon did not push us and put in a couple of late headers but our defending was more assured, with Gibbs and later still Chambo on, while the visitors became more ragged and both sides tired on a wet afternoon. And the newly pink cheeked Aaron nearly rounded off the afternoon with a beautiful solo goal. Unlucky son but don’t stop trying the magic. Not aware of any injuries so a good afternoon all round.

New Years Honours List for Arsenal yesterday; Medals for Cech, Nacho, Laurent, and Joel. Mentioned in Despatches the Flamster and Ramsey. Must try harder/naughty step certificates for Theo and the Ox, the former anonymous and the latter still struggling to balance his enthusiasm with doing the simple things well. For the visitors I award the best player pennant to Wijnaldum. I suspect that Mike Ashley will have him in the shop window before long.

A week to rest and recuperate before Sunlun at the Ems and almost certainly a few of yesterday’s starts benched or given the afternoon off. Fat Sam will also rest what passes for first choices among his motley crew of the SS Black Cat. We shall see.

Enjoy Sunday !!

164 Comments

Arsenal Versus Newcastle: Forked Tongues and Red Faces

See, that’s the kind of seemingly innocent enquiry which really chafes my backside, brings me out in hives and makes me want to go hunt down the editors who instruct their minions to ask such loaded questions. Journalist to Arsène at this week’s presser: “Can you tell us a bit more about the work he’s done off the pitch to make such an improvement on the pitch?” This enquiry was, believe it or not, about Mesut Özil. Why do I get in such a lather about such an irrelevance as the form of words chosen? Isn’t the hack actually praising one of Arsène’s key signings? More than that wasn’t there an unintended sliver of praise for the great man and his coaching methods?

The editorial line and media mantra where Mesut is concerned has shifted to ‘the jury used to be out’ (certain ex managers have failed to read the memo on that one haven’t they Mr Moyes?). This in turn had followed on from the nonsense about him being a ‘flop’. Now that it has become simply impossible to deny his genius and maintain credibility with any other than the criminally insane (and a few Chelsea fans), the line has had to be altered once more.

Of course what matters to the press is that their earlier gibberish about Mesut being a flop must under no circumstances be shown up for the utter horse shit that it always was. So rather than apologise for the lies they have consistently told about him they have to suggest he has improved. Not that he was and always has been one of the very best players in world football but that he has miraculously got better since a couple of seasons ago when he committed the ultimate crime of signing for Arsenal. An act heinous enough in itself but one compounded by proving that Arsène Wenger will in fact spend money when he has it to spend. For these sins our Deutsch Genie simply had to be castigated. Being part of a disgraced and disgraceful body of men and women the apparatchiks of the press must now say he has improved. Not admit they were wrong, but say that things have changed.

Ian Wright uses the same damning with faint praise on the telly. I accidentally had English speaking commentary on the other day and the one time Arsenal legend couldn’t just say what a great player Nacho Monreal is. Neither could he point out how brilliant an Arsène Wenger signing he was, thus proving so many people wrong yet again by not being a huge ‘name’ and not costing the earth. No, Ian had to describe him as the most improved player in our squad. Once again that word, implying that all the undeserved criticism wasn’t short sighted and ill informed over reaction but that things had unexpectedly changed. It is grudging false praise, disguised, self serving criticism and hearing it makes me want to sit on a barbed heated spike for relief.

How anyone can defend any of these lying, parasitic, twisted, immoral scumbags defeats me. They dig the well and fill it with the poison upon which the anti Arsenal Regiment sustains its moronic hordes of foot soldiers. They direct the herd, they are cheerleaders for all that is base and wicked about the modern game and society in general. Eschew them I say! Eschew them vigorously and at every turn.

Right, now I’ve cleared that one up let us turn to the matter in hand. A Saturday afternoon three o’clock kick off, nearly a week after our last game. Some semblance of normality returns. I used not to mind Newcastle. There was a time they played good football and were a thorn in the side of the red nosed prince of darkness. Since that ruddy cheeked ex side kick of Sauron took over at St James’ Park and sent his boys out with the express instructions to boot us off the park back in August of what I suppose I must learn to start calling last year, my views have tilted away from such magnanimity.

It was as horrible and inept a display of the violent thuggish approach to stopping us play as you could hope to see. Inept because even the referee couldn’t ignore it. Also, given that some of their team can actually play, it was unnecessary and ultimately self defeating. Some will feel that we ought to have won by more goals but then some people would moan that a million pounds was too heavy if you handed it to them as a gift. McClaren’s reaction to the frustration of his plans was almost one of disbelief. Brought up to believe that Arsenal are there for the kicking and they may be shoved around and stamped upon with impunity he must have been bewildered to see the rules of the game applied.

How different are the two teams today? Back in the late summer sunshine we were bruised and confused by an opening day defeat, injured by a wrongly disallowed winner against Liverpool and with only one victory in three might have viewed a trip to Geordieland with mild trepidation. Newcastle had drawn two and lost one in the league and played us on the back of a four one victory over Northampton in the League Cup four days previously. Now, at the time of writing, we are top of the tree and they sit languishing in the relegation zone with the abject Aston Villa and a sorry Sunderland for company.

They had an up down time in November and December losing heavily to Palace and Leicester and beating Liverpool and Spurs since when they’ve drawn with fellow bottom feeders Villa and lost narrowly to both Everton and West Brom. Pick what bones from that lot as you see fit. I think that in line with everything else that has happened this season it means they are unpredictable. As of course are we. Out on our feet against twelve man Southampton and two days later gambolling through the Bournemouth defence like spring lambs.

We are now in the wonderful position of holding our destiny in our own hands. Win by at least as big a margin as Leicester and we stay top. It really is as simple as that right now. Like all good recovering alchies I take the season one game at a time. This approach prevents me from getting carried away with the end of the season before the February snows have fallen and helps me to live in the moment. It also means that I’m extra crushed by poor results but every philosophy has its downsides. As long as I don’t wallow in disappointment then I know I only have to stay sane for a few days and another match will come along to sustain me.

I hope Newcastle don’t try to boot us off the pitch today. I’d like to see a good game of football. This supporting lark is, after all, about entertainment first and foremost and results are a secondary consideration. A good result can console you after a poor performance but nothing beats seeing us in our swashbuckling free flowing pomp as when we scored that most Arsenal of second goals on Monday evening.

More of the same today please chaps. If you’re lucky enough to be at the match I hope the pies are hot and the urinals fragrant. If not I hope you find a stable stream with unintelligible commentary and lets hope we continue to prove the pathetic drones of the press corps wrong – even if they are too craven to ever admit it.

26 Comments

Arsenal Are Top, Who Could Have Guessed?

Angry meerkat

So here we are, the New Year arrives with The Arsenal sitting atop the Premier league. 2015 saw us accumulate considerably more points than any other team, not to mention retaining the FA cup. We signed a genuine world class goal keeper and kept all the talent we had.

Everyone must be happy then?  Right? Surely no one can be discontented ?

But no! It is, unbelievably to any right thinking fan, not the case.

We still hear the shrill cries from the malcontent hoard that “Wenger f**ked up the Summer window. No outfield players signed don’t you know?”

He balls’ed it up to such an extent that we are top as the next window opens. We now know what injuries we have and can address those problems, rather than buy expensive players that will warm the bench, drain resources and perhaps cause discontent in the camp. Of course the ‘expert’ fans knew already who and when certain players would suffer injury, Soothsayers to a man!

We had such little depth that no team has coped better than us.

Despite the clear and obvious evidence that there are now better players in just about every team, bar MUFC, the moaners insist the the league is weaker and it’s only that weakness that allows us to be at its pinnacle  at this point. The middle of the table teams  are now what the top teams were. They have 6 or 7 good players and 3 or 4 very good players. To ignore this simple reality takes a tremendous amount of stupidity. Yet many Arsenal fans and pundits have managed  to do just that. To call them halfwits is doing a disservice to halfwits.

Those that have invested years in negativity and hatred for the manager are beginning to worry. What if we win the league?

So now the narrative has become”We must win the league or Wenger must go – no excuses!”

Again this “no excuses” bollocks does nothing but display a total lack of understanding of football, and life in general.

Despite Arsene proving time and again, that he can turn existing players into  some of the best in the league , Monreal,  Bellerin, Ramsey, Coquelin, Santi, Koscielny, to name but a few, demands are made that he goes headlong into the transfer market to get some sort of magical player.

Well he is going to buy. He has said as much, but you can bet your bottom dollar that won’t shut them up. Oh no, it will be hailed as a cheap option and the old “he could have done more” crap will be wheeled out.

We are challenging for the title. We should be enjoying the ride, not looking back to the period where Gervinho was the best we could buy, and citing this period as if Arsenal choose to be financially disadvantaged.

Whether people believe the club could have done more between 2006 and 2012 is now totally irrelevant. The fact is we are now winning silverware again and just looking at the team the clear improvement is there for all but the most idiotic to see.

I for one am looking forward, and will enjoy every moment. If we fall short, I will be disappointed, but I will brush myself down and look forward again, because there is no indication the the upward trajectory the club is on is showing any signs of slowing down.

Lets hope for a happy new year for us all.

37 Comments

Thank You, Red Action

 We’ve seen many amongst the great and the good, speak upon behalf of most Arsenal fans.

The usual candidates.

For years.

However it was only in the last twenty four-odd months or so that more support was given by these uber-supporters via their podcasts etc, towards the very small group of non-self promoting people behind Red Action group and their efforts to improve the match day atmosphere at the Emirates stadium.

I think the clue there is in the lack of any desire on the part of Red Action to promote themselves in place of the club that they support. When it’s up to the government to reintroduce safe-standing (please refer to Celtic FC) then they are doing the best that they can do.

To my eye, Red Action had received very little support from all these groups over the years. Not the Arsenal’s Supporters Liberation Front nor the People’s (In) Front of The Arsenal, none of them.

I just wanted to say “thank you” to Red Action for all their efforts over the years.

Perhaps one day soon they’ll also muster up the footballs required to put up a banner in support of the greatest manager in the modern (post-war) history of the club.

We can but hope.

Here is the text from their banner at the Bayern Munich home game (and what a game that was!):

“Raise the flag for The Arsenal.  Tonight we all need to be behind the players. As the team enter the field to the sound of the Champions League theme please hold this bag (flag).  Together we will be showing everyone inside the ground and the millions watching on TV around the world just how proud we are of our great Club.  Players & supporters together. We are The Arsenal.  Thank you for your continued support”

It might not have made any difference but I note that against Munchen and Abu Dhabi the team played really well when Red Action tried their best to create a special atmostphere.

Thank you Red Action.

Come on the Arsenal & Happy New Year!

Today’s post was by Finsbury