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EASTERN (LOW) BLOC?

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on November 7, 2026 in All Posts

Hello and how are you?

Saturday the 7th of November sees our next PL clash, this time hosting our one-time FA Cup finals rivals from the East Riding of Yorkshire, Hull City. KO is at 3.00pm local time, and weather is mostly cloudy with temps at 10° (feels like 12°) and 5 % chance of rain.

As we are bedazzled by the autumnal hues, and the world still grapples to find pluralistic means of living and Chuang Tzu dreams of being a butterfly or the butterfly dreams of being him, us Arsenal fans put our attention on the last of our PL game before the next injury-inducing international break, this one against Hull City Tigers.

I’m sure we feel a certain confidence going into this match having broken the 14-yr Anfield hoodoo and chalked up a (fairly) comfortable win against the Slavs in the CL. Unless you’re a bit of a long beard and still carry around the old Arsenal cloud of negativity that makes you think we might slip up on a Tiger-striped banana skin.

Having lost to Hull in 2008, we have since clocked up a fourteen-match unbeaten run against them, although we’ve not faced them since 2017 in the PL and in that last encounter, Alexis Sanchez bagged the goals. How time flies whether you’re having fun or not?

Today I think we can expect Hull to do the old 5-4-1 give it the old low block and try to frustrate any, erm, harmonious play we might have and grab a breakaway goal against the run of play. Hull haven’t won in eight, and let’s hope they extend that to nine.

Missing in action for the Gunners are Mr. Saka and The Red Max.

Caged for the Tigers are Crooks, Matazo, Targett, Gourna-Douath, Ansah, Gyabi, Hughes and Morita.

I knocked on Statto HQ’s front door and they didn’t answer so I climbed up and snuck through the dormer window into their bungalow and they were discussing modes of alienation and Marx’s dialectical materialism, but reluctantly handed over the stats that read thus: Arsenal FC (1st) 82% chance of v for victory. Hull City (11th) with a 5.7% outsiders’ chance of grabbing ze points.

Next up the gruelling international break, then, on the 21st of November, when the boat comes in, we sail up to Tyneside and Newcastle United, like.

Till then, may your horses be lucky! COYG!

Mills

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THE GLORY?

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on November 4, 2026 in All Posts

Hello and how are you?

Wednesday the 4th of November will mean the Mighty Cannon takes a trip over to eastern Europe for its next clash in the Champions League, and take on Slavia Praha at the Fortuna Stadium (19,370 ) in Prague. KO is 8.00pm UK time. Expected weather is mostly cloudy with temps at 5° ( feels like 2°) and % chance of rain.

After the emotional rollercoaster of last week, we now swim out into the (potentially) cooler waters of eastern Europa and match up with team who are starting to find some form, they are currently five unbeaten in all tournaments. Their record against us not good as we’ve beaten them in all our meet ups in the CL, including the blistering 7-0 win back in 2007. They’ve been struggling in the CL, with only one point, albeit a well-earned point against Fenerbahçe.

The Red and Whites are the second most successful club in Czech football, they originally started out as a cycling and literary club, and we’re later aided and abetted by Scot Johnny Madden. The clubs symbol represents heart and blood, fair play and sportsmanship, and a new hope for uplifting the mind and spirt. Slavia is Latin for land of inhabited by Slavs. However, Czech is the mother root of Russian and in Russian the world Slavia has its roots in the word glory. Well, I never! And as you would imagine, their main rivals are Sparta Prague.

Missing for the Gunners are Saka, but Big Willie has travelled, Red Max although domestically banned could make an appearance in this one. The big E is looking doubtful, but Artetas doubtful isn’t ever concrete as we know.

The Slavists are missing key players Schranz and Provod, as is N’Guessan, Kante, Ogbu, Pitak. Chory gave the middle finger to his manager as is subsequently on detention. Oh I say!

I sneaked through the trap door into statto HQ unannounced, and caught them talking in depth about current state of pornographic film making in Prague, but they coughed in denial and said I’m wrong and they were studying the works of Karl Poppers, sorry Popper. I gave them the corner eye and they gave me the stats: Slavia Prague (32 ) have an 8.9% chance of winning. And Arsenal FC ( 9th) have a 76.4% chance of victory, hopefully through harmony.

Next up, we entertain Hull City for a rare 3.00pm KO, which means the mixing up of abbreviated forms of the clubs; Ars and Hull and that opens the door to lots of tittering. Stop that now!  After that it’s the international break (and injuries) and the next instalment of the Man City 115 charges soap opera, that always turns up in the ‘breaks’. Till then, may your horses be lucky. COYG!

Mills

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MORE MERSEY MISERY?

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on November 1, 2026 in All Posts

Hello and how are you?

As the dulcet tones of the trumpet hornpipe float off out into the Irish sea, and You Tube tells me it’s the end of the world, the Mighty Cannon hauls its Arsenal yet again northwards, this time lower down the coast to our favourite hunting ground, Anfield, as we take on Merseyside’s red side, Liverpool FC. KO is at 4.30pm and expected weather is mostly cloudy and temps at 11° ( feels like 10°) and 11% chance of rain.

Now that Brighton did us ( and themselves) a massive favour yesterday, the door is once again open for the Gunners to go top. However, we now take on the media favourite and new “title contenders” Liverpool.

As has been mentioned everywhere we haven’t won at Anfield since 2012.  Trouble is before that it was December 2001, so it’s a place of mostly misery. The all-time league record in that stadium is P 88 W 23 D 17 L 48.

However, after the mid-week experience who knows what might happen, it’s easy to be pessimistic and think we won’t bother and at best grab a draw but then who knows how much the Fleetwood debacle has stung our pride and the squad now want to make a statement. All possibilities and permutations lie on the table…

Missing in action for the Gun are: Red (card) Max, The Saka and Big Willie. Doubtful be Mr Rice, Califury, Tzolis and Madueke. Good job we sold crappy Martinelli and Trossard. But stop the press! The last three aforementioned have all travelled…so who knows?

Lob scoused are Leoni, Ekitike, Bradley and Frimpong. With Munoz and Szoboszlai as maybes.

I shuffled off around to Statto HQs shed, and they said they were watching Last years at Marienbad, but the VHS cover on the table showed Anita Blond on the cover, who did not star in Last year at Marienbad. When I challenged them about this, they told me to sod off and instead handed me the stats: Liverpool FC have a 33.4% chance of winning and Arsenal FC have a 38.8% chance.

Next up we take a trip over to Praha on Wednesday, for the next clash in the CL against Slavia Prague. Till then may your horses be lucky. COYG!

Mills

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TO THE HIGHBURY OF THE NORTH!

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on October 26, 2026 in All Posts

Hello and how are you?

Tuesday the 27th of October sees the Mighty Cannon take on League Two stalwarts, Fleetwood Town, in the next round of the Carabao/ League Cup. KO is at 8.00pm local time. Expected weather us 15° ( feels like 7°) and between 19 and 23% chance of rain.

Millions of years ago I was playing in a five aside tournament on a cold Saturday on the fields of Chaulden in Hemel Hempstead near to my Aunts house. We had a pretty good team and went to the semis. Every time we won, one of the lads Dads, shared out a load of sweets, from what seemed to be an inexhaustible supply. Trouble was the further we went, the less there were. At one point he said all Ive got left are Fishermen’s friends.

I didn’t know anything about them; I thought maybe they were some obscure import from Norway. Little did I know, they originated in Fleetwood Lancs, and are still produced there and distributed world-wide, when most other industries including North Atlantic fishing has fizzled out without much care or compassion. Most people internationally probably haven’t a clue where Fleetwood is but they know Fishermen’s Friends.

Ive never been to Fleetwood, but knew of it as I did a bit of work once for Preston Council collecting data from drivers concerning their destination( now they just use the data from social media), and all the names of those towns in that area; Cleveleys, Poulton Le Fylde etc are lodged in my head. Sometimes those lists of names come flying back in my mind for no explicable reason.

So, I spent a bit of time on Sunday wandering around the town on Google maps and reading on Wikipedia about the town, football club and their intertwining histories, which is one of the things that’s enjoyable about doing an article, finding out about your opponent and their history. Made me wish when I lived in that area that I had explored the coast and those towns.

This match is a potential banana skin for us, and the best night out ever for the Cod Army. And should they pull off a miracle, I won’t begrudge it any more than I did Oxford when they beat us in the early 80s, also in the League Cup. If we can’t be a bit generous (in the unlikely event of us losing) then what does it say about us?

Their stadium is called Highbury and they play in a similar kit to ours, white sleeves and red top. 5, 327 can squeeze into their stadium, and 941 Arsenal away fans are expected to turn up, so it’s going to be one surreal night. But (to me) games like this are what keep us away from the clutches of a bloated,monied, elitist super league (although the CL is that is shadowy form?), and to me, everyone deserves a crack on success and the cup competitions are better for it, and matches like this.

Fleetwood go into this having lost to Exeter and Cheltenham and currently sit in 18th position in League Two. They’ve beaten Chesterfield, Shrewsbury and Sheffield United to get to this head-to-head with us. The Fishermen have lost only once though in their last ten home games in all tournaments.

I’m sure there will be a shuffle around for us, Red Max and Marli will start with maybe the 18-year-old Harriman-Annous. Plus, the talented Mr Mosquera and The Zube will be able to get a look in. Anyway, we shall see.

I banged on Statto HQ’s Port Cullis, and they didn’t answer. Instead, from an arrowslit on the floor above down floated a parchment with the yards and perches inscribed upon it; Fleetwood Town FC have a 4.1% chance of winning and Arsenal FC, 87.1%.

Next up, it’s northward Ho! again for our next PL game, and part two of the Mersey sandwich, a late Sunday afternoon(got no mind to worry?) clash with Liverpool at Anfield. Till then, may your horses be lucky. COYG!

Mills

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STICKY TOFFEE, SUBSTITUTE?

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on October 24, 2026 in All Posts

Hello and how are you? Saturday the 24th of October sees the Mighty Cannon host the bluer side of Liverpool, as Everton FC make a visit to the Emirates. KO is 3.00pm local time. Expected weather is rainy (98% chance) with temps at 11° but feels like 7°.

So, after seeing a much-improved match in mid-week against Bayern, the Gun (2nd) is back in action, this time against the Toffees (8th). A potential sticking point for the Gunners? Of their last four, Everton have won two and drawn two (in fact all three away games), but they haven’t managed the win at our barracks since 2021.

The Gunners have a tight-arsed defence and we’ve only let in five this season, plus one great element to our game is the depth of our squad, and our deadly substitutions. It was this fixture last season that Red Max scored the goal of a lifetime, and I’m sure this will be on his mind, as well as the home fans, perhaps he might feature earlier on though, what with Saka’s injury?

Missing in action for the Gunners are Misters Saka, Tzolis and Saliba.

Feeling the blues for Everton are, erm, none! Must be the first time that’s been said!

So, I was walking down the street and suddenly a carrier pigeon coming straight from statto HQ landed next to me and had the stats attached to its ankle. They read like this: Arsenal FC have a 67.4% chance of winning. Everton FC have a 12.7% chance of making it a three pointer.

Next up a League cup clash on Tuesday against League two’s Fleetwood Town. Till then may your horses be lucky. COYG!

Mills

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BAYERN AND BALLYHOO!

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on October 21, 2026 in All Posts

Grüße me old Posi-drives!

So, today the 21.1026, The Mighty Old Cannon hauls its operation to face off with south Germans Bayern Munich, at the Allianz Arena, in the next of our Champions League clashes. KO is at 9.00pm local time and expected weather is cloudy with 98% chance of rain. Temps are 9° ( feels like 2°).

So, after the scrappy not-so-elegant fight off in the Forest we now head south and take on the Kane gang. Bayern are currently top of the Bundesliga, despite being unbeaten ( in all tournaments) however, they are tied on points with BVB, and are only one point ahead of two other clubs. Despite the 3-1 beating we gave them last year, we don’t seem to be as coherent as we could be, perhaps the loss of Martinelli and Trossard has affected us deeply? If we are going to see an Arsenal collapse then it could well be against the Bavarians.

But we have a good defence, Forest has been a tough hunting ground for us, for nearly a decade, and the CL doesn’t have the same shadow-hangover of corruption that the PL has at the moment, so who knows? Bayern are certainly not invincible as the Norwegian Viking FK showed us last time out, but we must keep are Guns pointed in the right directions as they also gave fellow Scandinavians Bod/Glimt a 5-0 thrashing.

Missing in action for the Gun, are Big Willie, Tzolis and Mr Hincapié.

Feeling the wurst for Bayern are, Musiala, Olise (suspended), Kimmich is a doubt, but probably will be back, as will be veteran goalkeeper Neuer.

I knocked on Statto HQs door and outpoured the odours of Himmel un Ääd, happy days with the Flönz they said. Give me the stats said I and they did.  Bayern Munich (12th ) 45.8% chance of winning, Arsenal FC (8th), by far the greatest team, the world has ever seen, a 29% chance.

Next up, the Gunners host Everton at the Emirates on Saturday for a 3 o’clock KO. Till then, may your horses be lucky. COYG!

Mills

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THE PL, THE CANNON AND THE FOREST!

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on October 18, 2026 in All Posts

Hoi! and how are you?

Sunday the 18th of October the Mighty Cannon meets up with Nottingham Forest for a PL clash at the City Ground. KO is at 4.30pm local time. Expected weather is, mostly sunny with temps at 13° ( feels like 11°) and 1% chance of rain.

After a decent performance against Lille, the Gunners hit the road jack and head up to the midlands for a wander in the Forest of Nottingham. It’s not been such a fortuitus ground for us in recent season, picking up on one win in six, so hopefully we can turn that one around today, especially as City are now tipped to win the league, which seems a bit premature and illogical considering pending outcomes, but I suppose people have to spill the ink and get those clicks in? Yawn.

Crocked for the Cannon are Hincapié, Big Willie and Κύριος Tzolis, and the Zube is looking doubtful.

For the Sherrif’s men, Jesus and Savona are out and not about. Doubtful be Gibbs-White and Milenkovic.

Statto HQ coughed up the autumnal stats and they read like this: Nottingham Forest (15th), have a 16.8% chance of winning. Arsenal FC (2nd) has a 59.2% chance of victory through moments of harmony.

Next up, clean up your Bier Steins and get ready to chomp on  Weißwuascht, for its a trip to Bavaria, as we take on Bayern Munich as the Alliance Arena in the Champions League. Till then, may fortune be your way. COYG!

Mills

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LILLE OSC!

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on October 13, 2026 in All Posts

Hello and how are you? It’s a good job I woke up this morning as I’d completely forgotten the Arsenal were playing today. But play the Mighty Cannon does, as it hosts French wannabees Lillie in the next of our games in the Champions league.

KO at the Emirates is at 8.00pm local time, expected weather is cloudy with temps at 17°(feels like 11°) and 0% chance of rain.

So, having battled it out with Leeds, we now take on Lille, a club with not too much pedigree we might well imagine, yet they were French champions in 2021 and have been successful domestically since 2017.

However, they are riding high in the La Liga at the moment, and are currently in second. They’ve drawn with PSG (2-2) and lost to (here comes the )Nice, but for the rest of their games this season they have chalked up wins.

Arsenal are placed 15th in the Champions League table (having beaten Napoli as you recall well) and Les Dogues lie in 22nd  but these are irrelevant stats as having played a solitary game it doesn’t really give you any clue other than goal difference.

Crocked for the Cannon are: Saliba, Hincapie, Tzolis and the Zube. For Lille they are missing in action: Mbappe, Santos, Igamane and Perraud.

However, we may see our old friend Monsieur Giroud who played in the 1-0 victory against Le Havre at the weekend but he may sit this one out in place of Ayase Ueda, personally I think he will make a cameo appearance towards the end.

I made a visit to statto HQ and they made a pause from eating Coq au Vin, and scratched out the stats quick enough: Arsenal ( by far the greatest team the world has ever seen): 77.4% chance of winning, Lille (of La Belle Française): 7.9% chance of getting the points.

Next up a Sunday away day as we visit the Sherrif’s of Nottingham Forest. Till then may your force be with you. COYG!

Mills

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A Come Back in the Come Back Game.

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on October 11, 2026 in All Posts

Good day all.

At half time I was ready to tweet ” We had better hope City get docked 20 points this season”, because we didn’t look at all good. Then when we went behind I definitely feared the worse. But of course I was wrong, the goal seeemed to spur the players, and thankfully our now mega rich manager, into action.

The players sped up, more first time forward passes and direct play. It went from Leeds looking the better team to us running all over them until the final whistle. It does beg the question as to why we had to wait?

Critics of our transfer window point to a lack of attacking quality, and it’s not hard to see how they have formed this opinion.

Saka is a million miles from the “star boy” of old, although I have to admit I’ve never seen him in the “world class” bracket that some elevated him to. His decision making has gone from excellent to poor, his greed is rampant and his pace has run away quicker than he now can. I’m not sure we will ever see his star shine brightly again. Noni is a level below what is required and Havertz is some sort of hybrid that seems lacking overall. now don’t get me wrong, these lads are not bad players, but I think it’s fair to say that they are not up to the level of our midfield and defence.

Overall , given the 3 week break and the disappointment of our last result, we can be more than satisfied with the outcome.

Pedantic George.

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Leeds! Leeds! Leeds!

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on October 9, 2026 in All Posts

Hello and how are you?

Well, having swum through the greatest sea of skulduggery we’ve (perhaps?) ever traversed during the PL era, we get back to business (despite the fact the league can never be the same again) and host West Yorkshire’s boys in white, Leeds Utd. KO is at 12.30pm local time, and predicted weather is partly sunny with temps at 15° (feels like 14°) and between 2 and 3% chance of rain.

Despite all the Biblical scale revelations these last three weeks, the Mighty Cannon has still work to do, and as predicted many of our players limped home from the Charge of the international brigades, and we shall have to wait and see who can escape from the infirmary when Saturday comes. Certainly, we need a big and meaty bounce back after the debacle on the south coast last time out.

The facts and figures say we haven’t lost to Leeds since 2003 but it’s a bit misleading as they have been sunning themselves in other climes for some of that time. Leeds find themselves three places below and three points behind us, so a win for them is Christmas come early and for us it would be an early Halloween horror.

For the Yorkies, James, Rodon and Joseph are out and not about, whilst Bahoya and Wilson are looking like the unlikely lads.

Arsenal are looking much worse for wear;  Big willie is out for sure, whilst a cloud of doubt hangs over Declan, Messrs White and Mosquera, Konsa and Red Max (although he did train this week) are knocked about, and hamstrung are Kai and Mr Tzolis. Great! Unnecessary international games are just so thrilling, I can’t wait for the next ‘break’!

I knocked on the door of statto HQ and could hear them creating songs about Man City’s situation, a kind of version of the 49 undefeated ditty. Anyway, eventually they answered the door and handed over the stats: Arsenal FC (2nd), have a 67.5% chance of winning, and Leeds United FC (5th) have a 12.7 % chance of nabbing the three points.

Next up, Arsenal host Lille on Tuesday evening in our next Clash of the Titans in the Champions League. Till then may your force be with you. COYG!

Mills

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