Hello and how are you? I already know the answer! Sunday the 24^th of May sees the close of the Premier League and champions(!) Arsenal will make a short trip down to south London and take on Crystal Palace at the Nest. KO 4.00pm local time.

Well, we did it! Happy days toy town! It was a long hard journey. Normally on Saturday nights I watch Ghost Theory, because they really make me laugh, but they couldn’t put any videos up this week, so I ended up (somehow?) trawling through some of the 2020/21 archive on PA.

It’s all there, a fascinating document, witnessing Arteta getting lost in the reorganisation of the club, people leaving PA in their droves, unhappiness, frustration, popular players leaving. In the end I stopped, of course, if I had carried on reading it would have led me to better times. And eventually the best of times.

Why am I mentioning this? Because one thing struck me, how an utterly absurd and (probably) illogical a game being played on a planet at the edge of just one system in perhaps two trillion, spinning at 17,000km per hour, can so deeply weave itself into your emotive life and the lives of others, a vast stream, and that stream includes those designated as enemies.

Yet as Tuesday’s nights wave upon wave of euphoric joy showed us, a relative sense of unity can be achieved. Arsenal (like much of the world) was divided into many factions and perspectives, yet oddly everyone wanted the same thing, (just believing in different methods) and when crowning glory turned up on Tuesday night everyone came together in a collective sense of joy, putting aside niggles and differences.

And since that evening our lives have visibly changed, our emotive outlook and our day-to-day feelings. From now on our lives will not be the same as they were for the last 22 years. But it is striking how all life is in flux but major events change us more, bring us closer and walls do come tumbling down, even if just for a while?

For me, and perhaps for you, today’s game about Palace is just about us lifting the trophy and getting through the game injury free and we turn our eyes to the Champions League final and Palace to the Conference Final ( good luck Palace).

I went around to Statto HQ and they had left a note pinned to the door. It read: ‘we can’t give you any clear stats as its not sure who’s even going to play but based on prior games : Crystal Palace have a 22.5% chance of winning and champions of the Premier league, Arsenal have 53.6%.’

Well, that’s it for this season, thank you again to everyone here for your support and friendship. We did it! Next up a trip to Budapest as we take on PSG in the Champions league final. SO COYG!

Mills

Well champions we are, we celebrate while looking forward to what might be our first Champions League win. It’s all dizzyingly exciting. Unity has broken out across social media and we all are winners for now. Arteta’s critics are muted and his adorers are vindicated. it’s like a game of football has broken out in no mans land, again “for now”. Well I “for now” will keep my powder dry until after Saturday, when I wil have more to say on the subject, a lot more.

I couldn’t care less about todays game, not the selection, the tactic or even the result, by I can’t wait to soke up the atmosphere with the guard of honour and the presentation of the most coveted prize in English football, and I include the Champions League, for me THE BIG ONE is already in the bag.

Drink it all in, these moment are as rare as hen’s teeth.

Pedantic George.

Hello and how are you?  As the world starts brewing up for WW3, Arsenal take on Burnley for our penultimate game this season and our last match at the Emirates. KO 8.00pm local time.

I woke this morning feeling not too bad, (but nervous) about this one. For the whole of last week, after the torment and analysis of the West Ham game, I felt like I didn’t want to watch another Arsenal match in my life. But I will. How do you feel?

I think it’s the desperate need to win, and that each game seems to take forever, feeling as if we are playing with concrete boots on and the idea of going all this way and failing is tough to take. But it looks like it could well go down to the last day, and we all already know it means, we just have to win. Really it would be nice to chalk up five in this one and go to Palace with a spring in or step.

AWOL for the Arsenal are Merino, White, Timber! and Calafury. Beyer and Cullen are out for Burnley.

I phoned up statto HQ and they reckoned the Arsenal have an 87.7% chance of winning and Burnley 3.7% Next up, an end of season away day at Palace. SO COYG!

Mills

Well as I see it, a win tonight gives us 3 chances to win the title, We can win it by then beating palace or we can win it if City drop any points in their last 2 games. Three bites at the cherry with the big bite coming last. Palace are saying that they will play their best team against us on Sunday, so that’s disappointing, but in our hands it is. I’m of a mind that if we can’t win these last two games, we really don’t deserve to be champions. That said, I could care less if we drop points and so do City.

Try to enjoy the game and I’ll see you at the weekend.

Pedantic George.

Hello and how are you? So, after an utterly enjoyable sojourn in the Champions League, we come back down to earth with a bump, and take another grind at the Premier League. This time against our old chums West Ham at the London stadium. KO 4.30pm UK time.

I’m sure you know already the ins and outs of this one; West Ham really need to beat us in order to stay up, but (potentially) it’s the only time you’ll find Leeds or Tottenham fans rooting for us to win, as they also need us to win in order to help them secure a place in the PL next season.

And we need a victory in order to keep on track and win the league; a draw isn’t really of any help whatsoever. That’s a lot of need cooking in the cauldron of hope and potential victory.

If we lose this, from my perspective it isn’t about bottling anything, more not deserving. But games on paper aren’t games played out; any permutation is possible with this one? They know we can buckle under pressure but at the same time we’ve proved we’ve cast off the League Cup final hangover and there’s no reason to go light-headed.

Merino and Timber! be still AWOL for the Gun. I’m Kind of hoping Arteta will play the victory side ( Fulham and Atletico) with MSL in. He didn’t actually say it, but Mike Love got it attached to him in the demise of the Smile sessions: don’t fk with the formula. But what do I know? Nix, Im sure Arteta has a better understanding of this one.

Nobodys doubtful or missing for the Irons.

The boys at Statto HQ having been disappointed with a trip to the overrated Venice Biennale, were now happily back and calculating how many bricks were used to line the Blisworth tunnel, but were kind of enough to stop and rumble up some stats for us. They reckon that West Ham have a 18.2 % chance of winning and The Arsenal have a 59.1 % chance of being victorious.

Next up, the penultimate game of this year’s PL against already down Burnley, at ours. SO COYG!

Mills

I don’t know about you, but this game fills me with fear and trepidation. As they say “It’s the hope that kills you” Of the 3 remaining games, I see this as the hardest. The jitters I’m getting are reminiscent of how I felt for every game when Arsene was leading us, and that’s a good thing, because I miss those feelings, perhaps you could call them the feelings a real fan gets?

May the force be with us.

Pedantic George.

Howdy partners and how y’all doing? After the decent display in Madrid, the Mighty Cannon shakes off its midweek barrel-fever to face up to a 5.30pm KO and gun fight with the London in-laws from the OK Cottage Corral, as the wild westerners of Fulham come riding into town.

“Down south , down west. Movin all-around in string vest , tumbleweed blowin’ in yer hair, tumble weed blowing everywhere!”

I say, I say, he we go for another grinding hoedown in them thar Premier League hills as Arsenal continue their search for Eurkea! ( no gosh darn, I washed this mornin) in the goldrush of 2026.

Fulham’s season isn’t over, and they aint no acorn-calf and they will also be desperate for three golden panned nuggets as they try to reach a hallowed Europa spot (they are two points from sixth place). The Ashburton Grove Saloon was once the Badlands for all clubs but now we are a jumpy as a Mexican jumping bean and teams aren’t frightened to go for the old Prairie oysters?

I utterly dread (like you) the idea of watching another 1-0 shuffle and scrape long-horn loggerhead kind of game, but I suppose we should expect it and it’s enough to put the fear into any critter on that thar Arsenal Prairie? Plus, there’s plenty of ex- hole in the wall gang members who run for Fulham and would love to see the Arsenal go a- sinking in the kackle-berry stinkin’ swamp.

Missing for the Gunners be Sherrif Merino (my word how we’ve missed that guy?), Timber! And that bad-un, Kai the Kid. For the West Londoners; Kevin, old friend Iwobi and Sessegnon are in the injury jailhouse now.

The boss Hoggs at Statto HQ were dreaming of Daisy Duke but gave me a declaration of independence that said the Arsenal have a 64.5% chance of victory, whilst Fulham FC have a 14.5% probability. 

Next up, another evening with Atlético in part two of the Champions league semi-final, at our Ace in the hole.

SO COY dagnabbit G’s!

Mills

Expect more of the same folks, horse shoe attrition football that inspires absolutely no one. But fear not, the end is coming soon.

Pedantic George.

Hello and how are you? Saturday 25^th of April sees the Mighty Cannon host our old chums from Tyneside for a crucial top of the table clash. KO is at 5.30pm Uk time.

So here we go, another massive game ( has there been anything else all season?), let’s face it lose this and most of the hope that we are still clinging to will run out, like the dregs of sand in an egg timer.

Win this and its advantage Arsenal. Newcastle have had a poor run of form (two wins in nine), so I expect them to do well against us, turning up the heat and giving us no room or chance to shoot or score, as, like half the PL they aim for some kind of Euro-spot. Ker-ching! 

I’m sure like the rest of the world they would rather City win the league than nasty old Arsenal. How nice it is to be back in 1980-87 and hated by all the other teams and fans…something that wasn’t the case in the Wenger years. I wonder why? Answers on a post card to…

Strange that before big or important games the press is flooded with transfer talk about key players leaving? The most bizarre fiction I read was something about Bernie Silva coming to us next year now his time at City is done. And that sums it up.  

Plus, I’m sure Mr Howe doesn’t want more pressure on his position. Talking of our Eddie, he says that Gordon and Liveramento are AWOL for the Geordies.

Theres all sorts rumours running around about whose back and who isn’t for Arsenal but Mickey Arteta keeps that sort of info close to his chest. Merino’s on training lite, some say Saksa back, some say, you don’t say. Timber! Could be back and Calafury too. But in the end, me no know. 

I can imagine after the last run out, where the Gun pretended to be a Chicken and ran around in a lost psychological wilderness, they will be keen to get the faithful, who perhaps are less faithful after recent results, back on their side?

If we lose ( or draw), I wouldn’t expect anyone to still have faith, also we have the Champions league semi coming up, something years ago we would have been desperate for, but now doesn’t really seem to be cooking up too much excitement?

Maybe bashing Newcastle might do the job?

The freaks at Statto HQ got on the telex and sent stats that reckoned up the Arsenal at 63.8% and Newcastle United at 16%.

Next up CL semi-final against Atlético Madrid, at their casa. SO COYG!

Mills

When we lost at the weekend, I immediately turned over and watched the snooker, never giving Arsenal another thought. On Sunday a friend asked me how I felt after the defeat, I honestly said, “Oh, was that yesterday? I’m not bothered, my interest is dead”. That’s were I am friends.

Pedantic George.

Hello and how are you? After our different journeys in different cups, we’re back in Premier League action, this time facing south-coasters Bournemouth AFC at the Emirates in a lunch-time KO.

A win is utterly crucial today, nothing would please more the Arsenal universe than thrashing the Cherries 5-0, although in the end I suppose we will take a 1-0 win ( even with high-blood pressure and bitten down nails)…

Bournemouth are no pushover though; they are undefeated in their last eleven and are hoping to clinch a Euro-spot for next season. Although, their last five were draws.

Merino, Saka, Timber! and the Calafury look unlikely, Eze trained on Friday, as did Hincapié, so who knows? Trossard and Martin Ø picked up knocks against Sporting so they might not start.

For Bournemouth; Adams, Soler and wonder kid Kroupi might return but Kluivert and Cook are AWOL.

The boys at Statto HQ ran over the numbers and have calculated the Arsenal have a 66.3% chance of winning and Bournemouth have 14.1%. Next up on Wednesday round two of the Champions league quarter final versus Sporting at ours. So COYG!

Mills

This is it boy’s, this is war, this is what we’ve waited for. As one very good looking German lady once said. At 12.30 PM Mikel will blow his whistle and send his most trusted warriors, over the top and into battle. And I expect that to be exactly what this game will be, a dogfight, a slog, and attempt to out fight the opposition, rather than out play them. A war of attrition. I hope I’m wrong, but I can’t see the handbrake being touched, let alone let off.

I really think this is it today, this is the league . Win and we go to City knowing a draw is a tremendous result, but on the flip side, lose and the roof falls in.

Recent results, and more importantly, performances, have shattered my confidence, lets hope the players are made of sterner stuff than me.

If I even believed there was a 1% chance that there was a God, I’d be on my knees right now. Fear and trepidation have consumed me. THIS GAME IS HUGE.

Pedantic George.