Hello all, hope you are all keeping well and safe. It’s a difficult time for everyone and football seems such an irrelevance, but life goes on, boredom sets in and we tend to retreat to safe ground. So here I am , writing an irrelevant blog about a long irrelevant player. Irony knows no bounds.
Yesterday I noticed that Arseblog had released a podcast featuring Cesc Fabregas, our former El Captain. Now under normal circumstances ,I doubt I would have bothered to listen, but these are not normal circumstances, and I dug in.
I have to be honest, and say I though it was a very good and interesting podcast. Arseblog asked all the questions he should have and Fabregas answered them all, there were the odd occasions that Arseblog attempted to get Cesc to be critical of Arsene, a bait Cesc, to his credit, refused to take, but in general, it was a fine podcast.
So the question I ask myself is did my opinion of Cesc change? The answer is yes, it did. However, not because I learned anything new. In fact everything he said about his leaving just confirmed what I had believed to be true at the time.
To be clear, Fabregas forced his way out, and let the club, his teammates the fans and Arsene down. He was selfish and ungrateful, he was a snake!
However, what did change is how I now feel about it.
He was our captain and best player, but he was just 24 years old. He had shouldered a great deal in the final 2 or 3 years and being just 24 that is a lot to ask of anyone. I believe he thought we were not in a position, especially financially, to win the big trophies, whether he stayed or not. I genuinely believe that had he though he could have made the difference, he would have stayed. I 100% believe he loved the club and Arsene, but Barca was calling. It’s easy for any of us to say we would have remained loyal, but unless you could walk in his shoes, with his head on, I’m not so sure.
The pain I felt, and the pain most fans felt, was so extreme because the boy meant so much to the club and us. He meant so much to us because he had given us so much, and there is nothing worse than a scorned lover. Well I was a lover, I was scorned and I became bitter and hateful towards him. He got the brunt of me being unable to cope with his loss.
What he gave from the age of 16, and for 8 years was special. He was a joy to watch and a credit to himself and his profession. All that he gave, all that he was, should not be forgotten because we think he should have considered us rather than himself.
There is a debate going on twitter as to who was best at their peak, Cesc or Ozil? And it’s a close one, that’s how good he was.
I am grateful to Arseblog and Cesc for that podcast. Not because I learned anything about Cesc, but because I learned my feelings towards him were about the way I dealt with, and processed, his leaving and not actually with him leaving.
Was he a Snake? Yes, he was. But for 8 years he was a prince, our prince. Now I’m happy to remember those glorious 8 years and accept he made a selfish choice at just 24 years old.