Howdy partners and how y’all doing? After the decent display in Madrid, the Mighty Cannon shakes off its midweek barrel-fever to face up to a 5.30pm KO and gun fight with the London in-laws from the OK Cottage Corral, as the wild westerners of Fulham come riding into town.

“Down south , down west. Movin all-around in string vest , tumbleweed blowin’ in yer hair, tumble weed blowing everywhere!”

I say, I say, he we go for another grinding hoedown in them thar Premier League hills as Arsenal continue their search for Eurkea! ( no gosh darn, I washed this mornin) in the goldrush of 2026.

Fulham’s season isn’t over, and they aint no acorn-calf and they will also be desperate for three golden panned nuggets as they try to reach a hallowed Europa spot (they are two points from sixth place). The Ashburton Grove Saloon was once the Badlands for all clubs but now we are a jumpy as a Mexican jumping bean and teams aren’t frightened to go for the old Prairie oysters?

I utterly dread (like you) the idea of watching another 1-0 shuffle and scrape long-horn loggerhead kind of game, but I suppose we should expect it and it’s enough to put the fear into any critter on that thar Arsenal Prairie? Plus, there’s plenty of ex- hole in the wall gang members who run for Fulham and would love to see the Arsenal go a- sinking in the kackle-berry stinkin’ swamp.

Missing for the Gunners be Sherrif Merino (my word how we’ve missed that guy?), Timber! And that bad-un, Kai the Kid. For the West Londoners; Kevin, old friend Iwobi and Sessegnon are in the injury jailhouse now.

The boss Hoggs at Statto HQ were dreaming of Daisy Duke but gave me a declaration of independence that said the Arsenal have a 64.5% chance of victory, whilst Fulham FC have a 14.5% probability. 

Next up, another evening with Atlético in part two of the Champions league semi-final, at our Ace in the hole.

SO COY dagnabbit G’s!

Mills

Expect more of the same folks, horse shoe attrition football that inspires absolutely no one. But fear not, the end is coming soon.

Pedantic George.