Right people, turn your papers over, you have ten minutes complete the questions
What are the most points ever scored by Arsenal football club in its EPL history? (three points for a win)
- a) 102
- b) 90
- c) 88
- d) 95
Who scored the most goals (7) in any game for Arsenal.
- a) Ted Drake
- b) John Radford
- c) Ian Wright
- d) Cliff Bastin
Ken Dodd’s Dad’s dog died last night-
- a) Diddy?
- b) Doddy?
- c) do wah diddy, diddy dum diddy do?
- d) What type of dog was it? One of those dogs that when the doorbell rings it goes into a sexual frenzy and starts trying to mate with anything? Hold on I thought this was an Arsenal blog! I mean did Ken, his Dad, or even his dog even support Arsenal? Grrr! When I met him on tour in the Levant, Samgrass said this would happen to society! Grrr! One sh-sh-sh-ould stick to f-f-f-ooter..?
On their way to the 1980 CWC final, Arsenal beat IFK Gothenburg 5-1 in the first leg, but what was the score in the second leg?
- a) 1-1
- b) 2-2
- c) 0-0
- d) Where is Gothenburg? Is that where all the Goths live? I met a Goth once, London type, said his name was Adrian De’ath. Slept in a coffin. Had his black hair all shaved close on one side, and it was long at the back like a mullet. I said “you look like a pale Chrissy Waddle!”. He didn’t say anything back.He just stared out of the window all mean and moody contemplating death, wind-swept moors,Lord Bryon and the band Bauhaus.
Which club did Patrick Vieira come from when he joined Arsenal?
- a) A.S Cannes
- b) Juventus
- c) AC Milan
- d) The Village Vanguard about 3 a.m.
Which player did Bruce Rioch bring to Arsenal?
- a) Dennis Bergkamp
- b) Ian Wright
- c) Jimmy Carter
- d) Dennis Einstein, the younger brother of Albert. Famous for his philosophical insights into the stratagems of pedantic formulations of incoherent a posteriori, and the culmination of the categorical imperatives within any coherent theory of truths as a subsequent notion of inductive reason as an attribute of the material cause of various teleological arguments that reason that Tottenham Hotspur are basically a form of oscillating stool type matter, as found in farmyards. He formulated this as: Lilywhite + Alectryon = shit. A formula that broke the scientific world into pieces, and lead the scientific naturalists and various Middlesex rambler/country types drop their aforementioned notions, and revise history and pay homage at the sign of the Gunner.
How many goals did Thierry Henry score for Arsenal?
d) I knew a man at Oxford in 1924 called Henry, went together to Ascot to see the horse “Ponceious Pilot” in the 2.30. Came in first. Old Henry ran awf with me ticket, never saw him again, the rotter bagged all my ruddy cash! Never trusted anyone called Henry after that. Now Quiggan, thats a trustworthy name! Always trust a Quiggan! I say you don’t perchance fancy a quick snifter do you, should be coming up to opening time soon? Mind you I knew a bloke called Snifter once too. Bohemian type, un-shaved,wore sandals in the winter. I said to the fellow, never above the latitude of Gibraltar should one been seen with that type of footwear. Of course,he ignored me, can’t think why? Those literary-set types are all the same-louche.
Victoria Concordia Crescit was the Arsenal motto for years, but what does it mean?
a) Victory comes from harmony
b) You man, go over there and attack those trenches, while I take dinner.
c) Victory is a crescent like joy
d) Dunno but wasn’t she one of the Spice girls? Or something like that anyway, one of them Boy-bands you get on that X factor show.
What position/style of play do Joke City adopt the most?
a) left back
b ) right back
c ) I dunno I just can’t stand them. And I don’t want to talk about it, but we call it “parking the bus”.Grrr!
d) Ken Dodds Dads dogs dirty doggie style position.
How many games did Nigel Winterburn play for Arsenal?
- a) 335
- b) 359
- c) 584
d) Look you idiot, he didn’t play for Arsenal, he played for West Ham! Call your self a Gooner! I know these things I was at Anfield in 89! And me Grandad supported Arsenal.
Why was Liam Brady called “chippy”?
a) He comes from Chipping Ongar.
b) He liked chips
c) He collected small chips of wood from carpenters across the world.
d) He chipped the ball beautifully, every Arsenal fan knows that!
Which Arsenal player was called Supermac?
a) Frank McLintock
b) Malcolm MacDonald
c) Bob McNab
d) Me Mums mate, Alfie Mackintosh. He kept terrapins and weasels. He was a shallow man, cruel and insensitive. Took to ranting of an evening in his garden, said he wrote all of Shakespeare’s works. Ended up supporting Chelsea.
Who did the Arsenal Ladies beat in this years(2016) FAW Cup final?
b) Man City
c) Doncaster Belles
d) Notts County
Quiz complied by Boris Karl-Orf . Have a good weekend. Don’t worry them Gunners and the regulars will soon be back!
Thank you Mills, you have added a smile to my morning. And tomorrow I have a very special piece to put up from an occasional contributor, but one who produces quality not quantity. ( Taps nose and winks knowingly)
See you about 10.
Now where are my car keys ?