Arsenal: the Puzzle version


Right people, turn your papers over, you have ten minutes complete the questions 

What are the most points ever scored by Arsenal football club in its EPL history? (three points for a win)

  1. a) 102
  2. b) 90
  3. c) 88
  4. d) 95

Who scored the most goals (7) in any game for Arsenal.

  1. a) Ted Drake
  2. b) John Radford
  3. c) Ian Wright
  4. d) Cliff Bastin

Ken Dodd’s Dad’s dog died last night-

  1. a)  Diddy?
  2. b) Doddy?
  3. c) do wah diddy, diddy dum diddy do?
  4. d)  What type of dog was it? One of those dogs that when the doorbell rings it goes into a sexual frenzy and starts trying to mate with anything? Hold on I thought this was an Arsenal blog! I mean did Ken, his Dad, or even his dog even support Arsenal? Grrr! When I met him on tour in the Levant, Samgrass said this would happen to society! Grrr! One sh-sh-sh-ould stick to f-f-f-ooter..?

On their way to the 1980 CWC final, Arsenal beat IFK Gothenburg 5-1 in the first leg, but what was the score in the second leg?

  1. a) 1-1
  2. b) 2-2
  3. c) 0-0
  4. d) Where is Gothenburg? Is that where all the Goths live? I met a Goth once, London type, said his name was Adrian De’ath. Slept in a coffin. Had his black hair all shaved close on one side, and it was long at the back like a mullet. I said “you look like a pale Chrissy Waddle!”. He didn’t say anything back.He just stared out of the window all mean and moody contemplating death, wind-swept moors,Lord Bryon and the band Bauhaus.

Which club did Patrick Vieira come from when he joined Arsenal?

  1. a) A.S Cannes
  2. b) Juventus
  3. c) AC Milan
  4. d) The Village Vanguard about 3 a.m.

Which player did Bruce Rioch bring to Arsenal?

  1. a) Dennis Bergkamp
  2. b) Ian Wright
  3. c) Jimmy Carter
  4. d) Dennis Einstein, the younger brother of Albert. Famous for his philosophical insights into the stratagems of pedantic formulations of incoherent a posteriori, and the culmination of the categorical imperatives within any coherent theory of truths as a subsequent notion of inductive reason as an attribute of the material cause of various teleological arguments that reason that Tottenham Hotspur are basically a form of oscillating stool type matter, as found in farmyards. He formulated this as: Lilywhite + Alectryon = shit. A formula that broke the scientific world into pieces, and lead the scientific naturalists and various Middlesex rambler/country types drop their aforementioned notions, and revise history and pay homage at the sign of the Gunner.

How many goals did Thierry Henry score for Arsenal?

a) 164

b) 228

c) 174

d) I knew a man at Oxford in 1924 called Henry, went together to Ascot to see the horse “Ponceious Pilot” in the 2.30. Came in first. Old Henry ran awf with me ticket, never saw him again, the rotter bagged all my ruddy cash! Never trusted anyone called Henry after that. Now Quiggan, thats a trustworthy name! Always trust a  Quiggan! I say you don’t perchance fancy a quick snifter do you, should be coming up to opening time soon? Mind you I knew a bloke called Snifter once too. Bohemian type, un-shaved,wore sandals in the winter. I said to the fellow, never above the latitude of Gibraltar should one been seen with that type of footwear. Of course,he ignored me, can’t think why? Those literary-set types are all the same-louche.

Victoria Concordia Crescit was the Arsenal motto for years, but what does it mean?

a) Victory comes from harmony

b) You man, go over there and attack those trenches, while I take dinner.

c) Victory is a crescent like joy

d) Dunno but wasn’t she one of the Spice girls? Or something like that anyway, one of them Boy-bands you get on that X factor show.

What position/style of play do Joke City adopt the most?

a)  left back

b ) right back

c ) I dunno I just can’t stand them. And I don’t want to talk about it, but we call it “parking the bus”.Grrr!

d) Ken Dodds Dads dogs dirty doggie style position.

How many games did Nigel Winterburn play for Arsenal?

  1. a) 335
  2. b) 359
  3. c) 584

d) Look you idiot, he didn’t play for Arsenal, he played for West Ham! Call your self a Gooner! I know these things I was at Anfield in 89! And me Grandad supported Arsenal.

Why was Liam Brady called “chippy”?

a) He comes from Chipping Ongar.

b) He liked chips

c) He collected small chips of wood from carpenters across the world.

d) He chipped the ball beautifully, every Arsenal fan knows that!

Which Arsenal player was called Supermac?

a) Frank McLintock

b) Malcolm MacDonald

c) Bob McNab

d) Me Mums mate, Alfie Mackintosh. He kept terrapins and weasels. He was a shallow man, cruel and insensitive. Took to ranting of an evening in his garden, said he wrote all of Shakespeare’s works. Ended up supporting Chelsea.

Who did the Arsenal Ladies beat in this years(2016) FAW Cup final?

a) Chelsea

b) Man City

c) Doncaster Belles

d) Notts County

Quiz complied by Boris Karl-Orf . Have a good weekend. Don’t worry them Gunners and the regulars will soon be back!

Thank you Mills, you have added a smile to my morning. And tomorrow I have a very special piece to put up from an occasional contributor, but one who produces quality not quantity. ( Taps nose and winks  knowingly) 

See you about 10.

Now where are my car keys ? 


16 comments on “Arsenal: the Puzzle version

  1. That tickled my fancy on a rainy Saturday morning in Blighty!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Clearly the celebration of England’s famous victory went on long into the night.


  3. Bloody brilliant.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Well that was tricky, Mills, but after a lot of cogitation I realised the answer to all your questions was/is ‘YES’. So that’s that – where’s me money?

    Incidentally, if anicoll, that sage of the Sword of Truth collegiate tries to convince you that the answers to your probing – and let’s be honest ….. rather intimate questions ….. is; all in the eye of any individual human being or animal, and their personal experiences and is simply the extension of a philosophical theory or approach which emphasizes the existence of the individual person as a free and responsible agent determining their own development through acts of the will who knows how to answer tricky quiz questions — then he is showing off, and should be banned …. or maybe I should be banned instead.

    Mmmmm …. now that is the real quiz question! (lol)

    Liked by 3 people

  5. it seems this international break has confirmed what we all knew anyway, spurs players are diving cheating cunts, we seen rose and co dive all over the wembley pitch last night, sadly they got away with it, but thankfully another spurs player paid the price tonight, in the Austria v Republic of Ireland game, Wimmer, he of the own goal fame, took a dive and the ref played on, which led to Ireland scoring the winner, james mcclean, as austria were caught light at the back due to wimmers theatrics

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Spanish line up tonight:

    1 de Gea
    15 Carvajal
    4 Bartra
    6 Nacho
    18 Monreal
    8 Koke


  7. Much better game of football tonight between Wales and Serbia. Aaron a top performer. He is looking fit, sharp and in need of a battle. Bring on Saturday.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Cracking goal from Nacho – a placed volley from just inside the box !!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. why the fuck is there a round of international friendlies and not competitive games, is it so that they can disrupt league football an extra time during the season. its gone beyond a joke.

    I see Jersey are now looking to become an international team, it just plain madness that the clubs put up with this nonsense.


  10. it was a great finish by Monreal, why can’t he do that for Arsenal, fucking wenger.


  11. this is how the Walesonline site rated Ramsey’s performance tonight v Serbia – clearly who ever done the ratings was not watching the same game as the arsenal malcontents


    Started on fire and didn’t drop. Some wonderful touches, incredible vision and superb passing.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. How is Lord Byron associated with goths?

    Anyway, this chap has a problem with keys:


    Liked by 3 people

  13. Apart from his hair it could be me GP !

    New Post up


  14. GP-In my own personal experience with Goths (about 17people-Ive been counting them up- people some to whom I was very close, some not so close but friendly enough during the period 84 into 1993),were two types those who were just into the fashion/music(my bro and his mates) and the ones I knew best (including two ex -girlfriends) were into Gothic Literature,moorlands ( I was later living in W.Yorkshire at that time) and Gothic architecture and graveyards and many other things as much as music and fashion. Lord Byron is definitely part of the Gothic Literature,even if under the sub-genre of Romantic and perhaps half of the people, I knew liked were reading that sort of material.
    On some articles and websites(the last time I looked,which was in fairness sometime ago) Lord Byron is acknowledged,others not and one (even though I personal cant stand the source) has him as the King of Goths.
    Goth as a subculture seems to be quite varied (as to what is and what isn’t,perhaps its down to individuals as to their taste though with different sub genres and types?),just like Mod. Perhaps like Mod and other subcultures, everyone thinks their idea of what it is the real thing or what constitutes the culture such as it is for all subcultures that last over a period of time and are in constant flux?
    What might have seemed ignorant,was in fact in out of affection and my own personal experiences,one of the main Goth blokes I knew was a good friend and is now dead, but I had great times with him,and he put me onto Byron, Keats, and the Shelleys and people like Bram Stoker and while the atmosphere of that time still prevailed it was a good laugh to hang around with them even if I wasn’t one of them.For a while they seemed pretty exciting blokes.Time screwed them over though as things changed.
    But its odd, as some people consider the Who are Mods and the real thing and others plastic.Perhaps all life is a matter of perspective and personal experience? In my experience Gothic literature was part of the Goth subculture and Lord Bryon was part of both.


Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: