Anyone who knows me knows of my interest in obsession, addictive behaviour and the curiously exaggerated importance we attach to football. Anyone who reads Positively Arsenal (you for instance) is an example of the most successful evolutionary outcome the world has ever seen. Intelligent beyond the imagination of our ancient ancestors, dangerous and powerful by many magnitudes beyond the limits of all other species. Don’t believe the Netflix programme Zoo. There is nothing the animal kingdom could ever do to threaten us now. We are mighty. We are at the very pinnacle of the selective process.
And yet we actively choose to allow a football match to dictate our mood each week. Not even the whole match either. The result alone can send us spinning to the depths of sullen, ill tempered misery. Snappish with those we love, enraged out of all proportion with anyone foolish enough to cross us.
I recently experienced a further manifestation of this football related mental disorder. I’ve been reading Homo Deus by Yuval Noah Harari. It’s a book full of fascinating insights into the algorithmic processes which drive our behaviours and just how little real choice or free will we actually have. In one section he describes experiments into the way the brain can be stimulated artificially. Scientists can entirely control the actions and desires of lab rats and are quick to reassure those concerned with animal rights that it’s all OK – the rats are convinced they’re enjoying the experiments because the scientists make them think they are.
Similar techniques are employed on humans to relieve depression, to make people feel they are making certain choices and are enjoying those choices. Trans cranial direct current stimulators are complex helmets worn by test subjects. They use electrical impulses fired directly at specific areas of the brain. Sally Adee, a journalist for the New Scientist agreed to take part in an experiment. She entered a combat simulation suite wearing such a helmet having previously attempted the ‘game’ without it. The first time she was terrified, panicked, and in a real situation would have very quickly been overcome by her assailants. When back in the suite and with the helmet taking charge of her mood, reflexes and choices she was transformed into a kind of Zen Rambo, calmly picking off every attacker in a relaxed, blissful, methodical orgy of virtual killing.
Without the usual humdrum human distractions of self doubt and external pressures Adee was turned into a proto futuristic super human. And what do you suppose was my first thought on reading about her experience? An operatic vision of the future of all human kind? A clear and terrifying insight into the techno-dystopia which awaits us? Nope. I pictured Santi Cazorla, his micro chip implants aglow, banishing all anxiety and the very possibility of failure as he stepped forward to take the winning penalty in the Champion’s League Final. Football. Of course. It invades almost every bloody thought we have.
Where Hull City are concerned Santi has already written his name on the Arsenal history book, never mind it’s future. Without any artificial support or stimulation, relying only on the natural ice water in his veins he placed as perfect a free kick as you could hope to see over the Tiger’s wall and put us back into the FA Cup final at as good a moment as he could have chosen. The rest, as they say is cliché, but I believe it was that moment which sparked the latest successful chapter in Arsène and Arsenal’s illustrious story.
Poor Hull have really suffered against us in that particular competition. In the league one would need to go back to 2008 for their last victory over us and all the way back to 1915 for the win before that. So history suggests the three points should be eminently achievable. Of course as Mark Twain said “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.” Although I’m not sure quite how much to read into that where today’s game is concerned.
Hull were written off by the ‘experts’ before a ball had been kicked this season. Losing their long time manager, short of players, the subject of takeover attempts, and with unrest among the fans in the stadium their return to the Premiership looked less than triumphant. And so of course they proceeded to beat the champions on the opening day and won their following two matches coming a cropper at Old Trafford by the only goal of the game before drawing away to Burnley. Their caretaker boss picked up the manager of the month for August and now we travel to the KCOM stadium on equal points with the home side unsure precisely what to expect.
Traditionally the game against unfancied opposition in the week of a Champion’s League fixture is seen as a potential banana skin. In truth any Premier League side presents a threat, no results are guaranteed. While we have been treated to some thoroughly entertaining games so far this season I can’t say the machine has been running as smoothly as I might have hoped. A couple of players have looked a little short of form and the team as a whole hasn’t seemed as coherent as we have come to expect.
I strongly suspect the hangover from the international tournament, allied to the new faces in the squad has hampered smooth progress. Arsène must take into account the players who require a long lead time into the season following their gruelling summer, those coming back from injuries and those he needs to integrate into their new surroundings. He has unsurprisingly stuck with tested combinations where he can and used the new guys sparingly. The obvious exception is Mustafi who, given the injury problems in his particular area of expertise, has had to get straight on with the job .
These issues will of course cease to be a problem as the season progresses. The crucial thing is to keep grinding out the results until things settle down. As much as I’d like a repeat of the first half of the Watford game I’ll settle for the grim determination with which we climbed back into the saddle after PSG looked like they had knocked us clean out of our stirrups in the first minute. Will we see a changed team sheet? You know what, I never used to play those silly selection games so beloved of the amateur footy writer and so far when I have pondered on the likely line up I’ve been sufficiently wide of the mark to remind me why I don’t pad out the blog with such nonsense.
All we know for sure is Arsène’s preferred back five and that when fit, Mesut and Alexis will be very likely to start. The other four places are anybody’s guess. Why football fans like to moan about the manager’s selection is truly baffling. Naturally we have our favourites and we always want to see our favourites play but there is something wrong with your mental health not the manager’s if you think that should have any bearing on team selection.
Your green grocer knows best how many Granny Smiths he’s likely to need to order for any given week. You don’t. All you know is when you fancy an Egremont Russet for a change but he has sold out of them you experience disappointment. It doesn’t mean the greengrocer is a moron nor that it’s appropriate for you to call him one. It certainly doesn’t qualify you to lecture him on which apples he ought to stock.
Anyway, whatever the line up with which the man in the know decides to go there are players who will be either keen to keep their places with a very strong bench breathing down their necks or others extremely motivated to shine if given a chance to start. All of which ought to bode well for the team and therefore for us super evolved, highly intelligent, mega beings who’s happiness is entirely dependant on them having a good day at the office.
Positively Arsenal 
Iwobi too raw, Theo no good. Thank goodness Arsene doesn’t care what these chumps say.
LikeLiked by 4 people
west ham on a comeback 4-2 now
LikeLike
man city 4 up now
LikeLike
Steww: These uber bloggers and tweeters will have to find some new agenda.
LikeLike
Dive dive dive
LikeLiked by 2 people
New CB does well there to cover Koscielny
LikeLike
65 minutes cazorla off xhaka on
watch now xhaka will get sent off and it will be wenger’s fault
LikeLiked by 1 person
The substitution we were hoping for.
LikeLike
Iwobi outstanding. Walcott two half chances, goal.
LikeLike
impressed by how strong Iwobi is, when defenders bump him from behind, he holds his ground
LikeLike
Xhaka wastes no time in launching one over the top for Sanchez
Koscielny amending for his own error with the aid of the new CM.
LikeLike
Being down to ten must be tough on Hull’s small squad. But I don’t have a huge amount of sympathy for someone denying Coquelin his first goal!
LikeLike
Eddy – he reads those situations well doesn’t he? Like he’s ready for the shove, gets his weight back and absorbs it. Quality player.
LikeLiked by 1 person
ooh. That looked like a penalty to me.
LikeLike
Edit – no it didn’t.
LikeLike
penalty to Hull and its scored
LikeLike
Is this the time to mention I forgot to use the lucky Arsenal mug this morning?
LikeLiked by 1 person
11 minutes plus stoppage time to play,
it was the assistant that gave the penalty
LikeLike
Dear Arsenal, please finish off the striped dogge…
LikeLiked by 1 person
oh yessssssssssssssssssssssss alexis makes it 3-1
LikeLiked by 1 person
marvelously spiffing, and fucke offe Hull.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You beauty. So calm.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nolito sent off for man city for a head butt
LikeLiked by 1 person
Theo may have missed out on a couple of chances but he has made some excellent runs
LikeLiked by 1 person
alexis tried for his hattrick there
LikeLike
elneny was brought on for two assist man iwobi
LikeLike
Hang on did Iwobi’s shot really touch Alexis?
LikeLike
Walcott and Sanchez combining on the counter for the Arsenal to score.
Hoping to see many more goals from that route.
Nearly another straight away.
LikeLike
87 minutes – lucas on for walcott
LikeLike
That was not a pen for Hull on 1st view and on replay but order restored by Sanchez.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mesut doesn’t look 100% to me. Lacking a little fizz I fancy.
LikeLike
yeah steww its been given to alexis
LikeLike
23 attempts on goal for afc so far today – 8 on target
LikeLike
ha ha ha ha ha ha xhaka what a first goal for the club, 35 yard rocket 4-1
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bingo! Bingo! Bingo!
LikeLiked by 1 person
How about that!
LikeLike
Fuck me – he clouted that!
LikeLike
“Xhaka Cracker” – I knew I’d get it in
LikeLiked by 4 people
Hey-ho, sing hey-ho, unto the Arsenal Glorie!
LikeLike
xhaka has arrived
LikeLike
Arsenal up to second at the moment, odd that, seeing as Chelsea, liverpool, are way ahead of us
LikeLike
Managed to find a decent live stream: premierleague-live.com
Best on a Windows PC with Ethernet cable plugged directly into router to remove breakups and delays.
Pleased with the result but really wanted to see a more ruthless desire for as many goals as possible. Love Iwobi….Xhaka….
LikeLike
Me and Steve on twitter have agreed the new agenda for the uber bloggers and tweeters, supported by the sheeple, is Xhaka must start over Coq. According to Steve the meme will be:
“If he’d started him we’d have won 15-1 and not the ‘lucky’ 4-1”
In response I observed:
“These idiots blind to fact that Xhaka-Cazorla combo is risky. Xhaka is not a box to box like Coq. He is a deep lying midfielder.”
What does PA think?
LikeLike
I think he is a box to box midfielder
LikeLike
“I personally prefer him as a box-to-box player,” added Wenger, “because he has the engine, the power and he has the long pass. He likes to come deep and distribute the game. I think as well he has the engine to have an impact with his runs.”
and I’m not the only one !!
LikeLike
LikeLiked by 1 person
Andy @ 5:08pm: Don’t think he is as well suited as the Coq, at least not now. In the Swiss league he has a lot of time to do his thang. Needs to come up to speed with the PL. Think that is why he is being brought on slowly.
LikeLiked by 2 people
BBC take on the Man City and Arsenal games
man city – different level, great play, one touch sublime, great goals, champions elect
arsenal – not good enough
LikeLike
I think people that have slated wenger for picking coq over granit, have not considered that its Cazorla that is keeping xhaka out of the team
LikeLiked by 2 people
30 comments when I left 143 when I come back always a good sign of a good day.
Difficult to play against the away styley at home as alot of clubs are now adopting after leicester success with an amended version last season.
Apparently Arsene sees Xhaka as a box to box midfielder eventually but he is obviously not there yet. It is strange considering Le Coqs performances, especially second half in the games so far this season that people are making such a fuss but thats the media and twitter for you we know they base all their opinions on a cartoon game.
I thought Theo and Iwobi were excellent today, Theo working hard to get back and Iwobi so strong on the ball and rarely gives it away however both wide men, as seems inherrent with ARSENAL wingers, have floors in their game they need to improve. Theo still gets brushed off the ball far to easily and Alex just doesn’t track back enough. Both things if improved upon can make the players extremely difficult to play against and would improve our stabillity in midfield.
When Overmars was sprinting forward Parlour used to sit in to push the remaing two midfielders accross, a role Aaron has and can play to great effect and make all of our wide players look better and give our full back some much needed cover.
At the end of the day i’m chuffed!
LikeLike