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Managing Arsenal

Tactics, formations and set ups. It seems every Arsenal fan is an expert on them. Yes we all know them well,  all of us bar Arsene that is.

I mean its easy, right?

Start with a world class goalkeeper. One that dominates his area and controls the defenders.

Next we want a couple of centre backs. One of who should be big lump that flings himself in front of everything and heads the ball far far away from his area. The other,  a smaller beast, who can cover the big lumps lack of pace and play out from the back. Oh yes ,and they should have a telepathic understanding and work as a pair, as one.

Now we want two fullbacks No nonsense players that defend first and one of who never passes the halfway line unless his mate is tucked in.

Right, now we want two big “physical presence” midfielders that can play a bit. Pace and power, thats the key here, pace and power. Protecting the back four and setting the platform for the forwards to enjoy themselves. Don’t forget they need pace and power. This is the Premier League, pace and power is vital.

The next thing we need are a pair of wingers that have, err, umm, well, pace and power. They must be able to help the fullbacks and also attack with gay abandon, and score 20 goals per season.

A world class No.10 comes in handy now. He must have vision and creativity as well as being able to drop into midfield and help out by being a physical presence. Obviously he has to be able to score, but his main job is to create for others.

Last but not least comes the world class striker. He has to be lightning quick, strong as an Ox, and score at a rate that no other striker in the league does.

On the bench we need seven outstanding players that would walk into the starting eleven of any of our rivals.

There we have it, management by numbers. The default team of every expert layman fan.

The formation is 4 4 1 1, or the No.10 can fall back and its 4 5 1, or the wingers can push up and its 4 3 3 .

Yes this management malarkey is a piece of piss.

You may be detecting a hint of sarcasm by now?

Still. I’ll soldier on.

On top of this extensive knowledge we are all also experts on player development, training regimes, fitness and last but not least –  we all have medical knowledge far beyond that of specialists that the club hire.

Of course our knowledge doesn’t stop there, oh no ! Club and global finances are well within our understanding. The negotiation of transfers is a task we would absolutely excel at.

Its true that every fan has one thing in life that they are outstanding at, and thats running Arsenal football club . And doing better in every field than the useless experts that the useless board employs.

When challenged on our credentials we have no problem here. “I know my stuff, I’ve been watching Arsenal for X years”

I mean its easy to prove how right you are. As soon as Arsenal lose,  you point to which of the default team settings that were not used and claim that had they been, the result would have been better. Its foolproof because no one can prove it wouldn’t. This is evidence of your genius.

“We didn’t win because we had no power and pace in Midfield” 

So basically we all want a manager that uses this template.

Sort of like the 1998 Arsenal team ?

We need a manager that understands this set up works and does it !

Players need to be told by the manager , exactly what to do and when to do it, following this template . The one we understand. The won that won stuff.

We certainly don’t want some visionary that thinks his old template needs revising because football evolves. No, we want a manager that thinks like us and does stuff we understand.

Look, we all know this squad has huge deficiencies and Arsene refuses to address them. I would list these deficiencies but I just cant think of one at present.

Anyway, we should all be happy because the very smartest among us can write blogs and do Podcasts to show just how smart we are. Spare a thought for the previous generations that had to hide their genius under a bushel.

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104 comments on “Managing Arsenal

  1. Petit Jacques.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Looking forward to today’s guest post from our resident Spurs fan. What time does George get up? Anyone know?

    Like

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