Shaddap You Face

Today the award winning Mel O’Reilly @40shewore. I know ,I know ,we are standing in the shadow of a Giant


I once went on a boys weekender in Dublin,(i know this is a football blog but stay with me).After throwing our bags in the rooms we decided to go and have a look at the fair city,mostly pubs and betting shops from what I remember and upon returning to our hotel (The Burlington) for a quick spruce up for the upcoming evening ,we were greeted with screaming girls.Not for us of course ,but for the awful manufactured pop group Boyzone ,who would be attending Ireland’s version of The Brit awards at our hotel that very evening.

One of the lads decided it would be hilarious to throw a coat over one of the more gullible members of our group so as to trick said screaming girls into thinking it was a member of  shit boyband.

So there I was being frogmarched like a sex offender out of court ,or a member of Boyzone (take your pick) ,towards the hotel with a coat over my head.

As we drew closer the screaming reached new heights and for a short time there was pandemonium until the coat was whipped off and then?….the biggest collective groan you’ve ever heard ,followed by name calling that dockers would have blushed at,and faces drenched in disappointment.

Apart from my mates who were pissing themselves (but then they weren’t getting the abuse I was getting for not being a boyband twat).

What’s that got to do with Arsenal? I hear you say.

Well think back to a couple of summers ago when apparently Juan Mata had said goodbye to his Valencia teammates on a pre-season tour and was on a plane to London.

in the short period between hearing of señor Mata and him being on that plane I had learned he was a boyhood Arsenal fan.That he was better than Cesc.That he would be paid £80k a week .Also he was brilliant on every YouTube clip I’d seen of him.

I rang my brother like I knew what I was talking about,”yep,it’s a done-deal mate”.

Now ,as we all know ,young Juan wasn’t on that Easyjet flight.

There are many differing stories about the whole saga, but I along with many others was a victim of  “the silly season”.

If he didn’t play for the club I detest more than any other he would be my favourite non-arsenal player .

I can’t help but being drenched with disappointed every time I watch him.Sometimes I curse him with the language of a docker ,or  just let out a loud groan.

Oh I see,”just like those poor girls you duped into thinking you were a pop star?  ” I hear you say.

Absolutely not! They can all fuck right off .I was better looking than any member of Boyzone and a better singer(not hard) and dancer(big box little box).

This write ups about the silly season and the disappointment it can bring if you believe all the nonsense.

So don’t start making up songs about players you think we’re gonna sign but end up going somewhere else.

Ignore it all,wait for them holding the red&white shirt on .com.

Take no notice of Sky sources understands.

Disregard  Talkshite and its spitful presenters.

Turn a blind eye to the tabloids .

Laugh at the Arsenal insiders on twitter who know someone that’s fixed a photocopier at Highbury House and claim to have inside information.

Follow those guidelines and you’ll enjoy the summer.

Don’t forget the fixtures come out in June !

Now just for the record my song for Juan was “ShaddapYou Face-Joe Dolce”


“what’s the Mata you ?heh?”

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71 comments on “Shaddap You Face

  1. PG, lovely to chat again. We can’t all be Harry, Aman, Anicoll and Mel–pithy and profligate! I’ve hardly had time for posting this season but now that summer is here and the pace is slower, I hope to check in here more, though I have often enjoyed reading the comments. Good conversation to be had, certainly! But of course, some of the regulars here positively (yes!) hate transfer talk and new player talk, so I don’t want to poison the vibe–what will be on the agenda this summer without games?! I agree the transfer tittle tattle is wasteful and ridiculous rubbish. I tip my hat to Mel on the entertaining and wise post… Discussing the squad and reflecting on what might be helpful for improving us next season strikes me as a different and sometimes rather enjoyable and interesting sort of conversation. Particularly when understood as something for the idle football mind to exercise on in the absence of games rather than a serious recipe for what the club “MUST” do. After all, that sort of discussion has a basis in the football we just watched this season–as you say, it’s football talk!

    Rosicky, Diaby, Arteta/Ramsey–would that we had seen that trio more often!

    Fins, in honor of AVB, how about onwards and downwards?! I rather like this negative downward spiral we’ve been on of late!


  2. Meh to smart phones
    < for the life of me understand why any analysis would ignore the confidence and rhythym gained from the results against….

    Beating this seasons Liverpool was not the same!


  3. Limestone, what it is bro?

    As far as a physical presence, I see no reason why LeCoq and Frimpong cannot grow into that role. Frimpong was an absolute beast prior to his injuries and If I am not mistaken, was the youngster that look the most likely to step up. I think LeCoq has shown his worth.

    Gains, why do you think Song is related to whether either of our youngsters will come through?


  4. Limestone..I wouldn’t say “we” hate all transfer talk and new player talk (well I certainly don’t) usually it bores me though, because it’s often the sole provenance of know-alls and would be armchair tacticians, the sort who always seem to think they know better than a manager with a lifetimes experience at the highest level. and are prone to drone on and on, sucking all the joy out of it, even if they don’t intend to.

    I actually enjoy reading guys such as yourself, big Al, and Finsbury though, ‘cos you are way more articulate about the nuts and bolts of football, tactics and players and stuff, than I could ever hope to be in a million years, and never arrogant or smug in your opinions either.


  5. Hi Limey,
    AVB’s comments were too funny. And considering that the tinies collapse wasn’t as spectacular as last season and repeating the above and what others have said it puts Arsenals run into context for me.

    But the tinies kept on giving. The 1-1 rumour that swept around WHL was beyond priceless. I salute the undercover Arsenal fan who started it!


  6. Doing well, Paul N–hope you are too! I didn’t understand Gains’ thought there either, so hopefully he’ll elucidate. I hoped to see more of Coquelin early in the season to give him a chance to make that more his role–he loves a good tackle and can pass quite well. One thing he did do was wander forward more often, leaving Arteta further behind and I would have expected to see those roles reversed, so there was some need perhaps to discipline his game defensively from what I saw–perhaps this is why AW couldn’t afford to play him much once we slipped down the table. Not sure, but we’ll see what happens–he’s a good player and I hope he proves himself.

    Fins, haha, yes that rumour created no end of fun for us!

    Harry, what I’ve learned, if anything, has been from ACLF posters many/most of whom are regulars here! But kind of you to say nice things. Of course, I said some, just some don’t like it (and I don’t like the breathless transfer rumour stuff either), and fair enough to everyone’s preferences. There is a good thing going on here and I wouldn’t want to disrupt the kind of positive vibe that was the reason for this successful blog’s creation at all, rather I respect it.


  7. I wonder what happened to Nasri-Jones-Nasri or Loomer as he became? I liked him.


  8. Good to hear,Limestone and a pleasure to see you posting.

    That spurs vid is too funny.It gets funnier everytime you watch it.


  9. George, and what about Brf?


  10. LSG I am off to Egypt before the end of the year and I had intended to stick to emergency Arabic as previously – I am encouraged though although the Kitaab text looks a bit too mountainous !


  11. Limey,
    I’d love to see Frimmy make it to the first team again,that guy is a true Gooner.
    It’s a worry though that he didn’t get more game time at Fulham, will he make the grade? Maybe Wenger could send him back to Mick McCarthy’s Ipswich, they could do with a good midfielder for a championship promotion push.


  12. G69 @ 4:04 pm – Well for once I scored one on you. I would hate for a Neanderthal like Pulis to come between friends do I will leave my winnings on the table. It may come in handy one day. I am sure many of the posters on Oatcake fanzine, a Stoke football message board, are glad to be rid of this paragon of anti-football. They finally had to agree with Wenger, Pul is was playing rugby not football.


  13. Damn autocorrect on smart phones. Pul is instead of Pulis. Had to add Pulis to the dictionary. Hope to never use the word again.


  14. Limey & Harry, it’s very kind of you to mention me above, I know less then the FA about the game! But i like it. I’ve learnt more from other Arsenal blogs including Zonal Marking (AFC fan), from friends…a lot from those who post here.
    “haha, yes that rumour created no end of fun for us!”
    Not forgetting the distraction from our own concerns at that moment! Haven’t watched the game again but all week most us would’ve been wondering who was going to play in midfield: how good was Oxlade- Chamberlain? I thought he played well, obviously he’ll get better but he played in midfield against Milan too, i think, maybe more upfield? It’ll be interesting to see what Uncle Roy will do with him, my guess is he’ll him wideish if and when he gets on.


  15. PG, Loomer has been making the odd recent appearance on your ancestral home. He might not know of the new colony and beacon on the hill. I thought of telling him. But I think he likes a rumble and can get it more readily there! Come to think of it, without twitter, you might have to come back occasionally for your fix of virtual verbal fisticuffs!


  16. Double canister, I think we all pull for Frimps. Fewer joys greater in football than seeing a true fan from the youth team make it in the club. Good luck to him from two big injuries just when he was really breaking into the team.


  17. Dos vedanya AA. will always remember your best moments on the pitch for the RED&WHITE. at your best ” poetry in motion “. BEST OF LUCK IN WHATEVER YOU DO. jem of a footballer.


  18. Interesting times to visit Egypt, Anicoll. Tell us about the trip on your return, but maybe stay away from the football! Haven’t been there since 2005. My favorite Arab country is Syria, alas for that unhappy nation!

    You could get a decent phrase book for the basic conversation for travel and necessities–I have a decent one–I’ll find it and send the reference. But al-Kitaab isn’t as voluminous as it looks since it is a textbook–lots of I filled space in those lesson pages–honest!


  19. limestonegooner.
    A season with Ipswitch would round him out, McCarthy rates him and would give him a lot of game time, I was surprised Jol didn’t use him more, Frimmy was exactly the player they were missing in midfield.

    I really want to see the guy back in an Arsenal shirt next year. As I noted earlier, he has been with us since 6 years old so counts as one of our ‘homegrown’ players. Homegrown in this context means a mix of local British players and foreign club trained youths. We will need 8 former academy players in the 25 player CL squad ( yes I know we still have to play a qualifier).

    Which AFC players count next season?
    Don Vito
    The Ox
    We can add more if we count the above as star players.

    The point I’m trying to add to the discussion is yes, we need to promote some new faces to the first team but the rule is also cruel in that we have to purge out players who have gotten too old in the academy and have less chance of making it. We could always end up loosing another Martin Keown.


  20. Lots of unfilled space…autocorrect–


  21. Ehh.?
    Sorry I’m used to double spacing paragraphs.
    Didn’t realise that that might be a pain on a smart phone.


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