Today the award winning Mel O’Reilly @40shewore. I know ,I know ,we are standing in the shadow of a Giant
I once went on a boys weekender in Dublin,(i know this is a football blog but stay with me).After throwing our bags in the rooms we decided to go and have a look at the fair city,mostly pubs and betting shops from what I remember and upon returning to our hotel (The Burlington) for a quick spruce up for the upcoming evening ,we were greeted with screaming girls.Not for us of course ,but for the awful manufactured pop group Boyzone ,who would be attending Ireland’s version of The Brit awards at our hotel that very evening.
One of the lads decided it would be hilarious to throw a coat over one of the more gullible members of our group so as to trick said screaming girls into thinking it was a member of shit boyband.
So there I was being frogmarched like a sex offender out of court ,or a member of Boyzone (take your pick) ,towards the hotel with a coat over my head.
As we drew closer the screaming reached new heights and for a short time there was pandemonium until the coat was whipped off and then?….the biggest collective groan you’ve ever heard ,followed by name calling that dockers would have blushed at,and faces drenched in disappointment.
Apart from my mates who were pissing themselves (but then they weren’t getting the abuse I was getting for not being a boyband twat).
What’s that got to do with Arsenal? I hear you say.
Well think back to a couple of summers ago when apparently Juan Mata had said goodbye to his Valencia teammates on a pre-season tour and was on a plane to London.
in the short period between hearing of señor Mata and him being on that plane I had learned he was a boyhood Arsenal fan.That he was better than Cesc.That he would be paid £80k a week .Also he was brilliant on every YouTube clip I’d seen of him.
I rang my brother like I knew what I was talking about,”yep,it’s a done-deal mate”.
Now ,as we all know ,young Juan wasn’t on that Easyjet flight.
There are many differing stories about the whole saga, but I along with many others was a victim of “the silly season”.
If he didn’t play for the club I detest more than any other he would be my favourite non-arsenal player .
I can’t help but being drenched with disappointed every time I watch him.Sometimes I curse him with the language of a docker ,or just let out a loud groan.
Oh I see,”just like those poor girls you duped into thinking you were a pop star? ” I hear you say.
Absolutely not! They can all fuck right off .I was better looking than any member of Boyzone and a better singer(not hard) and dancer(big box little box).
This write ups about the silly season and the disappointment it can bring if you believe all the nonsense.
So don’t start making up songs about players you think we’re gonna sign but end up going somewhere else.
Ignore it all,wait for them holding the red&white shirt on .com.
Take no notice of Sky sources understands.
Disregard Talkshite and its spitful presenters.
Turn a blind eye to the tabloids .
Laugh at the Arsenal insiders on twitter who know someone that’s fixed a photocopier at Highbury House and claim to have inside information.
Follow those guidelines and you’ll enjoy the summer.
Don’t forget the fixtures come out in June !
Now just for the record my song for Juan was “ShaddapYou Face-Joe Dolce”
“what’s the Mata you ?heh?”