Hello and welcome to this week’s round-up and what a week it has been.
A fire has been reignited around Ashburton Grove and it’s largely being fuelled by deadwood.
First up we’ll look at the furore that arose when our good friends in the media decided to create the team news ahead of the Bayern game. The cannon, along with the travelling fans, were to be disrespected as any player who gave us a fighting chance would be dropped. Szczesny, Vermaelen, Walcott and Cazorla would all join the list of possibly feigned injuries and not make the trip to Munich. Arsene came out and explained why the keeper would be left at home, he has gone mental, but what of the others? Why were we being denied our chance at victory in Bavaria? WHY?
Some news that wasn’t complete fiction was Jack Wilshere’s injury. It is believed that he will miss three weeks of football, which is just enough time for Wenger to get his way and guarantee that we finish below our neighbours who are obviously romping home to victory.
So the reserves went off to face the mighty Germans without a hope of restoring some dignity to the camp. Walcott absence made his assist for Giroud all the more impressive. It was five minutes in and suddenly the no-hopers had a shot. The game was fairly even until five minutes from the end when Koscielny made it 2-0 on the night. The push was too late and we were out. Bloody embarrassing!
So the media had been mistaken. Santi and Theo very much did take part in the historical European tie but one unexplained omission was that of our captain. Talk is now of the Arsenal armband claiming its latest victim with Vermaelen’s agent said to be engineering a way out of the club for his client. It is rumoured that the feeling is mutual and we never really liked him anyway so there!
Next up was the European hangover. The manager continued his policy of throwing games before they started by introducing Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain to the starting line up. Aaron Ramsey was left out and Gervinho was on the bench so fall-guy duties fell on the brittle shoulders of Abou Diaby. We didn’t take the lead for 74 minutes and Abou should be ashamed. Fortunately, Wenger found time to check his twitter page and see that the Diaby experiment was not working. He was hooked and a couple of scapegoats that we know and love were introduced. The first goal came but only served to highlight our inherent defencive weaknesses. Nacho’s feeble attempt at blocking his own shot failed and the ball trickled over the line. 1-0 to the Arsenal. Then our mortally challenged timbers combined to seal victory and the three points were ours. Ramsey found Gervinho on a counter attack and the Ivorian slalom skier slotted home with ease.
Per Mertesacker came out after the games to talk about the new perspective the defence had found. He attributed the new-found solidity and two clean sheets to watching tapes of their performances. A technique pioneered in the early 1950s and later mastered by Scotch Video Tapes. Re-record not fade away.
A deeply embittered saboteur also spoke about the fantastic attitude of his team. With just nine games to go, this will have a serious impact on the longest running case of espionage ever to hit the modern game. Wenger added: “We defended high up the pitch and nothing. I play Fabianski and nothing. This team’s mental strengths are now a little bit stronger than my handbrake”.
And finally! FIFA have decided that, in the most exciting part of the season, there should be a break up for some of those gripping international games we all love. England will be without Wilshere and therefore excitement while Ireland take on Montenegro. Whichever country you’re from will play in some boring game that is only distracting from what matters. Arsenal!
Remember to come back to Positively Arsenal, the best place to find no coverage of this week’s internationals.
That’s it for this week. Thanks for reading.
Up the Arsenal!