A guest contributor who shall remain nameless
Well, match day two, and we are off to the sunny climes of Stoke, and Joke City ( “two Orcs for every Gun” as them old surfers Jean and Dan sang). Yes, its already their Cup Final! In fact rumour has it that even if the Jokers were to actually reach the FAC, todays fixture would be still a bigger deal. A game that every Orc relishes and every Gooner grrrroans at and hopes Gandalfs on the team list. To me it always seems a bit like a League Cup game (early rounds) when we play them…yes interesting, but nothing to start frothing at the gills over.
Anyway, it will soon be over, and back home again, and hopefully with another three points in the bag. What is this bag everyone talks about that the points go in? Granny’s handbag? A scumbag? A carrier bag from Waitrose that you take in Lidl on the sly and use instead of one of their bags, mostly to show that Mrs.Cheeseman at number 42 that you’re not poor as you walk past her house on the way home-(don’t worry she shops at Aldi, and I heard she’s been snogging that horrible Oswald Muesli bloke from number 16)? Or perhaps a velvety bag, blue-black in colour that’s deep and sensuous that you can search about for ages in while listening to some Lem Winchester CDs?
For us though, it be one of the two rugby games we play each season against the Potties. No Arsenal fan looks forward to this date too much, as the Orcs seems to be the antithesis of Arsenal,Arsène and Wengerball. I always fear for all our team but especially for the likes of Mesut, and Rambo ( how must he feel having to make the trip to Mordor I have no idea) having to get in the time machine and go back to the early 1970s. For Stoke often seem to have that style about them?
They love to play “Slogger, clogger, bogger, hogger ,fogger, bovver- ball” as its known in Stoke. The philosophy at Stoke is all meat pie, cigs, a shag (the dance of course, what kind of a mind have you got?!)and more cigs, more meat pies, a choice of ham or spam sandwiches and 16 cups a tea and that’s just at HT. Exercise and fitness training at Stoke FC in mid-week includes a trip to the local arcade and a go on the grab, then down to the pub to read Look-in and twenty pints of Double Diamond, a bag or two of Pork Scratchin’s and up early next day for a big greasy breakfast and a scrap with some locals on a building site. The rest of the day is spent sitting on a Potty, and that’s why that area is know as the Potteries. Or that’s what I heard from my Aunt Hilda van Soiler-Buit. But she was famous for telling tall tales, so perhaps this is all just a misunderstanding?
I daresay the Jokers will be naffed awf at getting a spanking last time around, and as long as it doesn’t start raining, I reckon they will get a good spanking again. And even if they don’t, they deserve it. I asked an astrologer Edward de Krystal-Hemlock Spudney and he predicted 3-0 to the Gunners. It cost me fifty pounds and seventy five pence to get the reading, I didn’t like the way he had a picture of Harry Kane in his tent though. My Uncle Norvus warned me about the dangers of astrology when I was a nipper. It was the first time I’ve been in a tent since 1947. And I wont be going back in one, I can tell thee!
In some respects Im glad we are playing them already as to avoid the fabled ‘rainy Tuesday night in January at Stoke’ syndrome (ie them winning and us getting booted about and broken in the mud because we aren’t interested to play them), although the addition of Kolasinac might even things up a bit? I wonder already what will Lacazette make of this fixture? He seems cooler than cool, so I’m sure he can take it in his stride. And give us a couple of goals.
I have no idea who will be in the team today, but without Sanchez and Steww both AFC and PA aren’t up to their best standards, however hopefully both will be back to top fitness and eligible for selection soon. And I can be sent off into the woods in search of Baba Yaga. Although Babs is probably a billionaire now, and is looking to buy up a team. She would probably buy up Stoke! After all she flew around in a kind of potty herself.
Not much of an article, it was supposed only to be a stocking filler. I got the stocks on my head and wandered about for a bit but couldn’t find any yokels to throws things at me, and then went in my partners room and into her chest of drawers where she keeps her stockings, grabbed a pair and put them over my head. I started looking in the mirror and made a few hard poses, a few in profile, sort of Jimmy Cagney meets Joe Pesci, but it was really more Joe90, as my glasses got all mashed up in the stockings. My partner came in just as I was saying ” hand it over you dirty rat” in a Joe Pesci styled accent and she asked what I was doing with her stockings on my head? She wouldnt believe me when I said I was writing the PA match day review! I dunno what’s a guy supposed to do?
At least we didn’t talk about transfers.
If you’re going to Mordor, may Elbereth be with you (or something stronger), and if not, sit back and feel anxious until we score goal number four and then enjoy the game. Up next, them Scallies of Brookside. Calm down! Calm down!
COYG!
David Pfarecluff—-schööper schub
Positively Arsenal 
for fucks sake, poor defending and jese give stoke the lead 90 seconds into second half, nothing like giving stoke a helping hand, awful stuff altogether
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should he not be seeing that
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we are missing some chances now, danny x 2, and bellerin really should have done better. Might be time to bring on iwobi for bellerin.
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ED. wtf exactly has Marriner done wrong. Suppose he could have found some way to disallow their goal. I couldn’t.We are playing a great deal worse than he’s reffing.
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Giroud on for Kolasinac, going back 4 it seems,
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Good time for the 100th
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and 101 and 102 and 103!
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Creating chance after chance – good
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Lacazette ruled offside
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There I do think the lino stuffed us. Like to see a replay.
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Time for video reviews?
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If we can get the equalizer then Stoke are going to panic and fall apart..
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Nothing trivial I hope Erik
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Stoke as a club dont even know the rules of the game!
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theo and iwobi on for lacazette and xhaka
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about 4 minutes plus stoppage time left to pull this out of the fire,
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Come on Arsenal punish these tools.
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5 minutes stoppage time to be played
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ball into their area, giroud heads it down into six yard box and not an arsenal player trying to get into six yard box, all standing behind and out from giroud
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giroud heads wide
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FT: 1-0
poor result, poor performance, poor goal to concede,
tempo not fast enough, sloppy in midfield and not clinical enough up front.
officials poor too
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Fucking football
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Marriner must be bent simple as
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Oh ffs
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Two penalties and an offside call, all wrongly went Stoke’s way. But ok, no VAR because it ruins the flow of the game.
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We did not play that badly. God why do people just live to shit on their own team.
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Well, well, well. I hope nobody at PA is surprised by today’s results. We were robbed of at least a draw by the PGMOL. 2 clear penalties denied and a perfectly good goal waived off. As usual on twitter, we have the usual attention-seeking twats blaming team selection and tactics. One, by the way, is a leading blogger. What a worthless, good-for-nothing set of so-called supporters. Never let the facts get in the way of a certain narrative.
As I have demonstrated by my research published here on PA, and never convincingly denied by the good and the great, Arsenal has consistently suffered from PGMOL bias. Today was another reiteration. But given the commitment of many to the narrative that bias is strangely absent from an organization closely tied to the PL status-quo, until a day like today they refuse to admit the naked truth. Meanwhile, as it has been throughout history, truth-tellers and fact-finders are treated like lepers and even worse.
At the end of the day I am proud of our lads. Despite one silly mistake leading to the Stoke goal, they created several chances and did score. As I already wrote in my blog to be published on Monday, I am backing them for a title run.
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At AlabamaGooner: You are absolutely correct. We have too many worthless, good-for-nothings as so-called supporters. The facts are clear. Today we were a much superior teem to Stoke. We were simply ROBBED!
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Bloody hell. Less filthy than in past, about average for prem in fact, and no outrageous individual decisions from officials.
You can even give benefit of doubt for the one certain pen and say his view might have been poor (though picture suggest otherwise). And, heck, even the offside was, by an inch, maybe, offside. It’s as part of the bigger picture where my anger comes into it.
All the soft penalties against, all the other good claims turned down. The endless shite of that which today fitted seamlessly into.
As for us and what we can do- I’m pretty sure we played quite well, though my judgement unfortunately is suspect if behind in a game (or not 2-0 up).
The finishing and final moments let us down and ,combined with our susceptibility on break, it made for a painful day.
I’m not sure how we keep a strong attacking identity while being a lot less liable to be killed on simple counters from one loose pass on halfway, but, with our luckless ways with officials, it is surely the only way we can triumph over all these mutha fucking cunts.
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Im with you shotts.
In 99% of all areas we were statistically far superior, but still lost. On another day we could have had four.
We know this is going to be a tricky game for a generation, until at least AW and AR are gone.
Stoke have had their big night out, the cat shall mew and the Joke have its day. But those losing their rag on blogs and YT etc surely need a bit of perspective, its only match day 2, I know the importance of grabbing the points early on, its like looking at the league table, at this stage it means very little.
Im not being Pollyanna, or Pollyfiller, but better to ignore this result, and the great black hole of insight that will be in the Goonersphere, as its going to be negative. Yin Yang baby. Its our choice. And follow the Oddball.He was a Gooner.
COYG! COYG! COYG!
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Wow
I am convinced that there was a performance worthy of at least a draw.
Plenty of good quality chances, perfectly good goal.
Ref hear all the noise surrounding the club , I can’t help but feel it clouds their judgement .
The fuss made around the ball hitting Ozil’s arm last week, made sure Arsenal were not going to get anything close or borderline so consequently the officials played safe.
Similar to last season,Southampton at home Giroud gets a last minute pen, AFC are thereafter punished by conceding 10 penalty’s.
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my only gripe with our performance was the lack of tempo and also how our players did not react to how the ref was not doing his job, and by that I mean our players should have noticed very early on that getting thugged or pushed was not going to earn us a freekick, so there was no point going to ground and appealing for a freekick, it was never going to come, Ozil, Ox and Bellerin on several occasions each, and there was others, all went to ground and appealed for a freekicks, stoke were away with the ball laughing.
to compound this, we then have the sight of our players kicking the ball out of play on two occasions cos a stoke players had took his time to get up, for fucks sake just play to the whistle and stop this soft approach, stop rewarding the play actors.
Xhaka had an off day, he was giving away the ball under little or no pressure. One moment in the first half for me summed up his casual display, stoke had a corner or freekick, and it was overhit, Xhaka was the nearest player to the ball but he jogged towards it before speeding up when he realized a stoke player was going for it, but it was too late, he was beaten to it, then the stoke player got by him and he put his hand up appealing for something, offside or foul I don’t know, and stoke got a good scoring chance. I never understand why players don’t get to the ball as quickly as possible as then even if opponents are not near, it just gives more time to use it.
Arsenal played well to a point, and created many good attacking opportunities, but we were still well below our best, compounded by officials clearly intent on leveling up the difference in standards between both teams, and of course a giveaway leading to a goal after not the best defending.
What ever happened to “giving benefit of the doubt” to the attacking player, answers on a postcard to Lacazette, as he surely needs his goal being ruled out explained to him.
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Positively Arsenal @Blackburngeorge 1h1 hour ago
We didn’t play well
We didn’t play badly
We did enough to have won comfortably
We lost though
Bollocks.
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Eddy, you called Monreal a dick for kicking the ball out. Tbh, I stopped listening to what you had to say after that.
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i dont think we should be talking of being robbed after we blantantly threw the game away. welbeck to me need to sit out of some games for giroud to be given a chance. he had so many chances today either to score or even give a simple tap in assist to lacazette. xhaka gave so many balls away in the two games we’ve played and we have been purnished. it is early season but we need to be improve very fast.
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Wenger’s after game comments
from football london
On the result and performance
I believe it’s the kind of night when you are angry because not only did we not score with the chances we had, but we made stupid mistakes centrally.
First by losing the ball and then we didn’t defend properly.
We were unlucky with some decisions as well because we scored a regular goal.
So Lacazette’s goal should have stood?
100 per cent, I just watched it. It was not offside at all, even his foot was not offside.
But we have to swallow that, we should have scored despite that. It was another detail that did not go our way.
We have lost three big points today. Other teams might take three points here that we have dropped today.
When you don’t win games you should have won, you have to look at ourselves.
Should Arsenal have had a penalty
Of course, but we know we don’t get penalties – we know that.
What do you mean you don’t get penalties?
Look at the numbers, you will see. Look at the statistics.
Penalties we had last year the highest against us at home by a mile and the lowest number for us.
I give you just the numbers, I don’t give you anything else. We don’t get penalties.
On the defence
Last week we conceded two goals from set pieces. They only had three shots so I don’t believe we defended so badly, on set pieces yes.
Today we have to look at ourselves. The goal we conceded we were 100 per cent guilty.
On criticism of Ozil
I think he did fine. It’s difficult to single anyone out.
I believe that we had many chances and personally I don’t think he deserves it.
On whether he will be signing any new players
I expect to sell players first. That’s all.
I expect players to go because we have too many players, it’s not manageable and many clubs are in this situation that’s why the transfer market is quiet.
We have 33 players at the moment and that’s too many.
I am not after a game like that just in a transfer mode.
We are more disappointed. I am not thinking straight away to buy players tonight.
On Sanchez
If all goes well through the week he should be available to be selected for the next game (Liverpool).
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alabama, Monreal was a dick for kicking the ball out, it was just plain stupid of him, the guy had even got back to his feet by the time nacho kicked it out. Its up to the ref to stop play if a player is injured, and so the players should get on with it. do you think stoke would have kicked it out if one of ours was down. As I said guy was back on his feet, then lay down again when NM kicked it out of play. time our players played to the whistle.
We have done this several times in recent years, even last season Wenger bemoaned our players doing it, he said they should play on till ref stops play.
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He was not a “dick” and that’s a horrible thing to call one of your own players. He made a decision you didn’t like. If that’s the criteria, well then, there are a lot of dicks on here.
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he made a stupid, and needless decision, he rewarded gamesmanship from the stoke player, if I’m not mistaken the Stoke player did not require treatment of any kind after Nacho put the ball out of play. I don’t recall him leaving the pitch.
and as usual his and Arsenal’s reward for him being a nice chap is the usual chorus of
“same old Arsenal always cheating”
As I stated above, Wenger was critical of our players doing it last season, the rule is that its up to the ref to stop play, and it will only be done for head injuries or a serious injury.
Stoke so liked him kicking the ball out of play, that another one of their players tried the same stunt later in the game. Well in fact two of them did, one at least had taken a heavy challenge.
How hard is it to play to the whistle. when one of ours is lying on the ground our opponents don’t seem to have a problem with playing on.
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I am sorry but it is utterly unbelievable to me that any Arsenal fan watching that game can exculpate the PGMO officials for that shocking display and blame Arsenal for throwing points away. Sure Xhaka made a mistake in turning over the ball, a chance which Stoke did very well to convert. But we created chance after chance which Ramsey and Welbeck in particular were unable to finish. Add that that to 2 clear cut pens, none of which were given, and a goal waived off which was not offside.
It strikes me, particularly on twitter, that we have an utter swarm of twats, posing as supporters,who become totally hysterical when we lose and are incapable of a cool calm appraisal of what transpired. Rather it is a game of who can make the most smart-a-lecky, smarty-pants post blaming either the manager or the players. Given during the game, they are mostly heads down in their devices making posts, no wonder they are incapable of anything rational. Remember my pre-season blog; they are the 10% who need no excuse to steal from the club.
Eddy – I absolutely agree with Alabama Gooner on this. You have no cause calling Monreal a dick. I may not have agreed with him putting the ball out of play but he demonstrated the sportsmanship which makes me proud to be associated with this football club.
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You’re missing the point, Eddy. Willfully, I think, so I’ll stop trying to explain it.
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shotta its not sportsmanship, its rewarding gamesmanship, cheating even. Its naive. The rule was actually changed cos it was felt players were getting duped, and that they felt “obliged” under the guise of sportsmanship to put the ball out of play. Monreal had no reason what so ever to do what he did, except not wanting to be seen as the bad guy by either his opponents, or by that baying mob of stoke fans. Players normally know when an opponent is really hurt, and from Nacho’s demeanor he looked like he knew full well that the Stoke guy was playacting, but put the ball out anyway so as not to be the bad guy. It was needless and stupid.
shotta as for fans on twitter excusing marriner and co for their displays today, well I had some regulars on here telling me they had done nothing wrong. The posts are on this thread.
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Stoke player milks challenge, rolls around on ground, stays down, hoping to disrupt Arsenal advantage. Nacho looks back for the first time, as he’s been playing the ball forward since the incident, sees fellow professional still on the ground, kicks ball out of play. There is only one dick in that scenario and it sure as hell isn’t Nacho Monreal.
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actually zouma had got to his feet by time nacho kicked it out of play, he then lay down again.
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and regardless of if he was on ground or not, nacho had no reason to kick the ball out of play, its up to the ref to stop play for injuries, as I said above the rules were changed a couple of years ago cos it was decided that players felt obliged to kick it out even though they knew opponent was indulging in gamesmanship. Nacho rewarded gamesmanship, that was stupid.
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If we play like that every game we will end up be nearer top than bottom. It was a game where nothing quite fell for us, and maybe that was because some of the time we were a fraction blunt. I suspect we will get sharper. I’m glad I saw it all as otherwise I could imagine being overwhelmed by pessimistic readings of the game.
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as wenger said foreverheady, ” we gifted them a goal” and also “did not make the most of all the chances we created”, so we were our own worst enemy, and add in that “we had a perfect goal” ruled out and of course the fact “we don’t get penalties”
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Arsenal had 77.7% possession today, the most we’ve had in a league game since 03/04 season.
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Anybody expecting Wenger to point the finger at the refs have no idea how the dice is loaded in favor of the PGMOL. It is our job as fans to expose that shower of shite.
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well shotta Wenger did say today “we don’t get penalties”, and something about the stats are there to show it.
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