For all it’s supposed evils, fraping, grooming, cyber bullying, and those Nigerian millions I still have yet to receive, the internet is actually a fairly splendid virtual world. A parallel reality where another me can frolic free from the restraints of his earthbound self and all the baggage that sorry sack of disappointments carries about with him. I have many more Arsenal supporting friends here in this intriguing web than I ever had growing up in the three dimensional wide world. In fact I have more friends and enemies here full stop.
I’ve often wondered what might happen should someone discover a portal between universes and somehow allow our virtual selves to come crashing through into the what we laughingly think of as the ‘real world’. Like on the Simpsons when they went all 3D. Would it rupture the fabric of space time and allow evil creatures from a dark nether world to enter the cosmos wreaking devastation and misery on all they encountered? Or would we go for a stroll through the Georgian city of Bath and have a pleasant evening in a pub on the banks of the Avon?
Gladly I can report that it was the latter and the slavering hordes of what Pratchett called the Dungeon Dimensions are still safely occupied with pushing Brexit leaflets through our letter boxes. Just at the point in the season when we need every talisman, every charm and good luck gesture we can get, Mike and Kelly have flown in from the good ol’ U S of A to put their shoulders to the wheel, to heave on the rope and generally cheer the boys down the home straight.
In a selfless move reminiscent of the arrival of the humble GI in 1942 our friends from across the pond have given up the comforts of their big cars, cheap ‘gasoline’ and a waffle house every two hundred yards to pitch in and lend their voices to the Arsenal chorus. Back in the dark days of the forties our visitors were issued with Instructions for American Servicemen in Britain. This pamphlet was filled with useful tips such as “Never criticize the King or Queen,” and “The British don’t know how to make a good cup of coffee. You don’t know how to make a good cup of tea. It’s an even swap.” It left the reader with the following exhortation “It is always impolite to criticize your hosts; it is militarily stupid to criticize your allies.”
Now I don’t know if Mike and Kelly have a similarly helpful guide to getting on with the natives or whether they are just naturally affable, open and instantly likeable people but either way I think there might be a message in that last line for us today. I’m thinking less that it would be impolite to criticise our hosts today. If you have a particular axe to grind with West Ham then have at it – football is, if nothing else, an opportunity to blow off steam and release the pressure of the humdrum with a little pantomime baiting of our opponents. I was thinking more of the second part. The stupidity of dividing our own side.
More than ever it is crucial that all fans, wherever they sit on the spectrum of Arsenal support, come together and get behind the boys in red and white. Or yellow and blue. You take my point. Time wasted biting each others ankles would surely be better spent linking arms and marching together. Wouldn’t it be a revelation if the message the players received online, in the stadium and on the radio from now on was one hundred percent supportive? Even just for these last remaining matches. There’s nothing we can do about Leicester’s quite astonishing levels of fitness, form and finishing but we can help our chaps keep their heads up as they bully off for the final chukka.
As far as today’s match and more importantly today’s opponents are concerned, the first thought that sprang to mind as I ground the beans for my morning brew was – it has been a long time coming. In fact I hadn’t had a coffee for nearly twenty four hours. Similarly our rematch with the season’s first opponents has been waiting for an inordinate period. They say revenge is a dish best served cold, but then they also say the best bloggers avoid using clichés. Avoid them like the plague in fact.
Should we exact our chilled retribution for the opening day shock we will move within one point of our noisy neighbours and keep alight the slender flame of hope that Ranieri’s supermen might accidentally pick up some kryptonite between now and the middle of May. If they should falter, and it would need to be more of a collapse than a stumble at this late stage in the day, we need to be right up there with them. For my part I prefer to focus on that which is achievable and leave the wilder betting to those with more money to burn. I’m looking at Spurs and a late, late St Totts as our more likely goal. If Mr Van Gaal can pull off a shock for us at the Lane then second place will, with the right result today, be ours for the taking.
I have to be honest with you that last sentence contains too many ifs and buts for my liking. The truth is as boring as Arsène’s mantra about taking it one game at a time. There is no point in gazing at the tea leaves of the fixture list and trying to predict results in this most unpredictable of seasons. The simple fact is that the ‘big three’ have made a bollocks of the whole thing and left the door wide open for any other team who could put a long enough run together. Leicester and Spurs have seized that chance. Of the ‘big three’ Arsenal have been clearly the most successful, eclipsing Chelsea and remaining resolutely ahead of Man City despite the gargantuan gap in spending power between us and both of them. We just haven’t been sufficiently consistent since August and at the moment have to suck it up and get on with the job in hand.
That we have friends willing to travel day and night across oceans and time zones just to lend their voices to the cause warms my cockles and fills me with renewed hope. Stronger together? You betcha. Victory through harmony? You should hear these guys sing! So come on then, wherever you are, whatever you think of the manager, owner and players, let’s put our differences whether real or imagined to one side and lift the team over the obstacles that lie ahead. Starting today, let’s all do our bit to put right the wrong inflicted on us last August, let us, to quote from one of Kelly’s favourite books, “Cry aloud, spare not, and lift up thy voice like a trumpet ”
Positively Arsenal 
Morning Stew, many thanks,a great curtain raiser for the game at with the Irons. I hope it was the Arsenal mug that you drank the coffee from though!
COYG!
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Of course Mr Mills. However it might be a late late victory today as I forgot my Arsenal shirt needed washing so it will only be dry just before kick off. Stoopid superstitions huh?
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Perhaps outwardly, but if they enforce a certain frame work within the mind, and mind is energy, and energy is matter, so in this case subtle matter, then at ye old quantum level then a certain thought goes in a certain direction…so perhaps not so stoopid!
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I take heart from your wise words sir.
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Okay but is this maybe the game where Arsenal start to sink back to Fourth place?West Ham have been branded the GIANT KILLERS this season,though their home form has not been as great as thier away form.Man City have a winnable game against West Brom wich could see them close the gap on the Arsenal.
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Beautifully judged as ever: balance, poise and vision leavened with a trademark hint of mischief. A Cazorlaesque offering. I think today will be pretty tough and I suspect there will be more than a few old-fashioned challenges flying around that will be waved though in the interests of game management. But I also think that West Ham will give us enough chances to play too to make it a real game. I’m looking forward to it as one way or another I haven’t seen us play much recently – although all the various offerings on here have kept me nicely up to date.
Having said that, I made up for it a bit last night with the Under 21s, and I thought there were some exciting things on show, not least from the Gnabster who seems to have rediscovered the sheer joy of playing like only a young man can. And Jack was back, which for me was great. He is up there with the most talented players I have ever seen, and this season has been cruel luck for him. Just think what he must have felt like when having battled his way back to full fitness (remember those three wonder-strikes against WBA and Slovenia) and looking as sharp as you like in the Emirates Cup he had his leg broken in training days before the Charity Shield. That we are even in contention having had to do without him, Welbeck and Cazorla for either all, most or half the season strikes me as a miracle, the more so considering the ill-luck we have had with those decisions that don’t quite look as if they will all even out over the course of the season.
Still, never mind, because as I heard on the radio this morning Sport is more about the journey than the result and for me that is true. it was certainly a journey that was preoccupying me for much of yesterday: as Mike and Kelly made their way Eastwards my 12 year old was flying in much the opposite way, Antigua bound, for a Netball Tour. Financial considerations aside I thought it was a great idea when she was selected, but it certainly didn’t feel like that as I left her at the airport. So I hope the Alabamians waved as they crossed and I hope that they love their visits to the Emirates next week and enjoy watching today at a reasonable time. But as Stew says, we can’t rely on their support alone, so its COYG from me as well as COYG from them.
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Well, fingers crossed, the burden of superstition is one cross I’ll never have to bear. As for avoiding cliches like the plague consider it a done deal (although possibly best not to make too many jokes about plagues, you know, just in case).
Talking of superstition and cliches, one surely has to welcome stereotyping into the holy trinity that provides so much of the architecture of the feeble mind. As one brought up in the early ’70’s on a seemingly inexhaustible supply of unremittingly violent American tv ‘cop’ shows, my personal stock of juvenile stereotyping stayed long enough for me to fully expect to be shot the very moment I set foot on American soil, when I finally reached the New World as an admittedly nervous adult.
What I actually learned about the USA could of course fill a blog but suffice to say that when Americans say “have a nice day”, they sound as if they actually mean it, unlike their script-reading UK colleagues who are often forced into the remark by corporate employers attempting to ‘connect’ with their customers.
It’s therefore today no surprise to find those great American civilian ambassadors for stateside supporters everywhere are as charming as they have always come across on Twitter and the pages of PA.
The odious little cretins muttering nonsense about our incredible overseas-based supporters would do well to meet the likes of Mike and Kelly, if only to further their own life education, maybe pad out the flakey interiors of the false hollows of their limited intellect.
Sadly they are unlikely to be so fortunate but every word Stew says about getting behind the team rings as true today as it did at the start of the season. And at the start of ANY season.
What’s they phrase all Americans are constantly repeating?
It ain’t over until it’s over?
Have a nice day everyone and COME ON YOU GUNNERS!!
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Sorry, I meant to say, what a wonderful picture!!
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Thanks Tim and Andrew – contributions worthy of blogs in their own right. I’m off to collect our American friends in a bit and treat them to an hour and a half plus injury time of watching me squirm on the sofa and swear elaborately at the commentators.
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What an absolute please it must be to welcome Kelly and Mike.
I know, it is.
Let’s hope The Arsenal put on a show for such wonderful guests.
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What a lovely time we had yesterday! It felt like visiting old friends – instantly comfortable. And in a sense, it is like visiting old friends. What a treat when we can use this miracle of technology (and let’s face it, the Internet really seems like a miracle) to make friends instead of enemies. I’ll try to remember that the next time someone really pisses me off on Twitter!
I’m a little disconcerted this morning. Showered, dressed, and breakfast eaten and still almost 2 hours before kickoff! I’m very excited to watch my first match on UK soil. And an important match it is. Even though I’m disappointed that Aaron likely will not start, I understand, as I’m sure the players do, that results are what matter right now. And when results matter, you don’t change what’s working. So we’ll likely see the same team today. I’m just hopeful Aaron is fit enough for the subs bench, and that he gets a few minutes under his belt today.
Come on boys! We need to pay back West Ham for that opening game. COYG!
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Just hope Liz can master the darned waffle iron before Kelly and Mike get here.
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FH, I know all about the putting your child on a plane thing. Although she’s older than yours, it was still hard watching her walk off to airport security on her own. Visiting her in Edinburgh next week, and I can’t wait to see her!
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Stew, tell Liz not to worry. It’s the company that’s important! We’ll see if you still like us after the expletives start to fly as the tackles fly in. Just be sure to warn me if there are sensitive ears around, and I’ll tone it down.
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Andrew, I do hope we’re going to get to see you while in London? Fingers crossed.
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Lordy, what’s Liz playing at?!
She’s had MONTHS to master the waffle iron.
*tsk*
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She don’t even got a waffle iron. She’s using her steam iron. Morphy Richards. Should be fine.
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Hmmm. Mike and Kelly are already having a ball. That is nice harbinger for my visit in 3 weeks. “Gooners of the world unite!”
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Oh hi Kelly!
Not been able to get a ticket so far for Palace but I’m planning on watching the game in (or near) The Tollington if one doesn’t emerge. I can divert to another destination if you prefer but I’m guessing you’re looking forward to meeting Calamity Jane, Jane and Letty, three of the finest Gunners you could hope to meet; The Tolly is, as you know, their second home! Expect George (the non-pedantic one) will show up with any luck, as well.
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What a lovely piece, Stew!
As our gracious host wheeled us around the lovely city of Bath, affording us the opportunity to take in breathtaking views the likes of which I have seldom seen, I realized Stew & I are much more alike than different. We are both proud of our homes and passionate about the things we like. Most of all, we appreciate friendships and laughter. Although we’ve only been on UK land for a couple of days, the hospitality we’ve already been shown makes us feel at home. Southerners in the U. S., even with all our quirks, are generally known to be a friendly bunch. I must say that we’ve been treated with kindness from the moment we arrived. I’ve enjoyed every moment with Stew, Liz, and Stew’s mum Sheila! Such a delightful family!
And so it is with the Arsenal family. Good times and great friendships. Of course, just like us “Southerners”, some of us do have our “quirks”. But, for the rest of the season, we need to pull together for the greater good of the team, and to a great season.
Come on You Gunners!
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Arsenal starting XI: Ospina, Bellerin, Koscielny, Gabriel, Monreal, Coquelin, Elneny, Iwobi, Ozil, Alexis, Welbeck
Arsenal substitutes: Cech, Mertesacker, Chambers, Gibbs, Ramsey, Walcott, Giroud
Copyright 2016 The Arsenal Football Club plc. Permission to use quotations from this article is granted subject to appropriate credit being given to http://www.arsenal.com as the source
Read more at http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/20160409/team-news-ospina-starts-in-goal#SWLE1vWtSKgt5tuS.99
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I hope that everyone has a wonderful day, that includes the Gunners.
Nearly time for kick off!
The respected west ham manager rolls out the artillery for this game against the Arsenal and starts Carroll. Payet was impressive on the opening day, you’ll rarely see an opponent worthy of the challenge of playing opposite Koscielny, that’s going to be a serious contest between the two French team mates.
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COYG! FOY scrap iron!
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dirty Ham
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nasty from Carroll on Kos, rightly booked,
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West Ham with a goal ruled out for off side, it was close.
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Come on you Gunners!!!!!
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Messssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FOYI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Ozillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll 1-0
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Same old Wet Spam always bleating.
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Monreal was sure he should have had a penalty in the build up to Ozil’s goal, and some West ham complained that Monreal was offside as he came back out as Ozil ran in and scored, but Monreal never made any effort to go to the ball, so not offside.
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Webb says the west ham goal should have stood,
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Daniel Cowan @thedanielcowan 20m20 minutes ago
Elneny’s positioning is so good, it’s like having Arteta alive again
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magic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Alexissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss 2-0
coq to iwobi, lobbed pass to Alexis, goal
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Hoddle is so fucking annoyed that Arsenal are winning, he is nearly in tears
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shag. COYG!
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awful fucking defending, no pressure on the cross and Carroll has a free header and its 2-1, one minute before half time, awful lack of concentration.
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FFS
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for fucks sake, 2-2, more shit defending, this happens far too often, let in one, and minutes later its a second one. carroll was allowed to take the ball down on his chest in the middle of the area, awful marking. Criminal last couple of minutes from Arsenal.
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why does our defense do this to us at critical times?
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why does our defense do this to us at critical times?
i just always do not get it
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Jonathan Northcroft @JNorthcroft 4m4 minutes ago
Arsenal’s title challenge in one 45 minutes.
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I reckon Wenger will give them a razzing after that.
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Blimey, comments section suddenly doing a more than passable impression of Twitter.
Get a grip fellas.
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AA its our defenders that need to get a grip. 2-0 up at 44 minutes, 2-2 at half time. We are meant to be trying to challenge for the title and we are crumbling like that.
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we will sort it ou t – glad there is still the second half .. but really 2 goals in 3 mins?
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You tell em Andrew. Like there aren’t 45 minutes left in the game.
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COYG!COYG!COYG!FOYI!
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COME ON YOU GUNNNERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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