I have, since escaping school at the first available opportunity, travelled a wide and colourfully varied career path. I’ve been a civil servant, a builder’s labourer, a steeplejack, an interior designer and a security guard. That is to name but a few of my interesting and ultimately short lived attempts at finding the ideal method of bringing home the veggie bacon. The role I found suited me most snugly however was that of publican. I ran my bar in the manner I would like any licensed premises to be run, were I the customer. We never made any money but then we were quite disposed to giving away free drinks and paying the people who worked for us. I’d have been kicked out of capitalism college in the first term.
I despise with a passion, soulless, corporate chain pubs. A bar or public house should always reflect the personality of the owner. The best of them thrive on idiosyncrasy, curiosity, the unusual and not on some bland, lowest common denominator, artificial sterility. One way in which our bar reflected both myself and my business partner’s individual charms and dispositions was the passive, friendly and peaceful atmosphere. We enjoyed an inclusive, calm, left-field environment in which we and our friends could get regularly and spectacularly pissed.
We knew we’d succeeded because we never once had to call the police in all the years we were there. Didn’t have trouble, never resorted to violence ourselves and as such never got threatened with it by the clientèle. Proof of this particular pudding was one local hard man who enjoyed the occasional break from his usual watering hole. He would mind his own business, sit at the far end of the bar and drink two or three quiet pints, nod and take his leave. I got into conversation with him once and he said that while he didn’t fit in with the rest of our customers, found them all quite odd in fact, he enjoyed coming to our bar because he could be just another punter. He didn’t have to look over his shoulder, prove himself to anyone or maintain his tough man image. Folk left him alone, and he liked that.
In a similar spirit I’m sure there must be a small number of the malcontented among our vast network of supporters who enjoy the guilty pleasure of reading Positively Arsenal from time to time. Just as some otherwise sane individuals with no obvious character defects might open one of the many negative Arsenal spite blogs with which the internet is so fruitfully blessed. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if those who do are filled with a range of emotions as they shake their heads at us poor happy fools frolicking around in the perpetual sunshine of our delusions.
Like the bruiser in the bohemian bar, I’m convinced we must have some readers who enjoy a break from their daily routine of pouring scorn and hatred on our manager and players. I picture them sitting quietly, like Attenborough on the edge of a troop of fascinating simians, watching us going about our lives as if supporting a football club could actually be different from something akin to an involuntary organ donation.
There is much to be said for our positive attitude you know. As curious as we must appear to those of a less balanced and healthy disposition we are at least consistent. In a season where the club’s fortunes have leapt from hopeless to peerless and back through the floor before bobbing to the surface again we have managed to maintain our equilibrium and just plod on, celebrating the good and trying to make sense of the bad. I wonder if the bloke in the corner of the bar, the visitor, envies us this.
For everyone else this season must be the most discombobulating of rides. Those who celebrate wildly when we’re up and want to burn the whole thing to the ground after every setback must be suffering from a permanent combination of the bends, altitude sickness, oxygen starvation and excessive euphoria. Imagine gripping the tail of the Arsenal fish this season and trying to hang on as it flies, flops, sinks and shoots through the waves. No, I’m much happier keeping to the straight and narrow and hoping for the best.
It has been such a crazy ride this go around that we can face Hull City in the FA Cup and genuinely have no idea how the game might go. They did a fine job of frustrating and stifling us in the home leg, we just couldn’t find a way through. The question for me is whether they will be a little more adventurous, more confident in coming at us in front of their own fans. Their cause would surely be better served with another defend and frustrate performance, looking to hit us on the counter. It’s never quite so easy to do that in the cup when playing at home.
Many people like to pretend that footballers are a species of automaton with all of the more humble human emotions trained and brainwashed out of them. For one thing this allows them to boo and hiss and abuse their own players with impunity. For another it fits their agenda that highly paid footballers ought never to make a mistake nor commit any judgemental errors while on the pitch.
This attitude isn’t only reserved for those for whom a lobotomy would be a waste of time and effort. My late father, a hugely cerebral and gentle man who’s barometer I am not fit to tap, used to shout at Sporstnight “All the money he’s on he should never have missed that” and I can clearly recall my childhood confusion that he would utter such a glaring non sequitur. It was right up there with his assertion that we were pointing nuclear weapons at Russia because, among other things, “They don’t believe in God, son”. My point is even the best of us can stray into erroneous thinking.
Hull’s players are not automatons any more than are ours. They will surely be buoyed up by a ferocious crowd and will find it hard to maintain a disciplined approach. This I feel might provide us with the key to their back door. I hope so. Goodness knows who Arsène will send out there to unlock it tonight but I imagine a few wise old heads will be needed to temper the enthusiasm of youth. Despite important fixtures coming thick and fast and with the FA Cup holding a special significance this season, this is, for me, a massive game and I wouldn’t be surprised to see a strong line up.
Anyway, I need to crack on, I have a final chapter to draft in this damn book that you lot keep demanding I write, so I’m going to leave you to gambol in our happy valley. If you are the one sitting in the corner having strayed in from the harrowing world of endless negativity, pull up a chair, we don’t bite. You’re more than welcome to join us, all you need to remember is we don’t fight either. We support. Each other, the manager, the players and the club. It’s as simple as that really.
Positively Arsenal 
Hail Stewart Black, the King of the blog in Goonerspher!. A man who can throw us a word like “discombobulating” and take us on a journey over hill and down dale in our minds eye showing us odds and sods on our way.Each week I wonder “what will he come up with next?”.Always fascinating.
We can only imagine(at the moment) how great the book will be if its had the same intent as your blogs…
Thanks Steww.
ps Is S+D getting the drop tonight over the ArseHull?
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Would have liked to sup a round or six in The Black Arms, of an evening.
These days I avoid all chain ‘pubs’ and ‘restaurants’ as far as I possibly can. The pubs because of their ‘tied’ and highly exploitative nature (of the poor old landlords) not to mention the largely shite ‘drinks’ generally on tap, in bottle or pissed up the wall. And the chain restaurants for their love of the pre-cooked microwaved horrors served up as food and their often appalling treatment of the staff. So it’s always, always, always independent outlets for me even if they are a little scruffier or slightly off the already off-beaten track. Well worth the diversion.
As is Stew’s piece – and from the numbers reading PA one has to assume that when the chips are down and the zeitgeist is with what Out For A Corner on Twitter refers to as the Wenger Old Boys, that a proportion of our readers ARE indeed looking over our shoulders wondering how they ended up with the mob that these days sound more like fans of our opponents.
And so on to Hull and back to the FA Cup. Surely they won’t make the mistake of trying to play open expansive football against us? Will they?
Well, here’s hoping.
Thanks for another great piece Stew; just need to now check Mel’s water for this evening …
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Thanks both. Yes Mills I am missing the show to watch the match. Which has seldom ever turned out to be a good decision so I hope tonight is different.
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As long as you took as sip from the AFC mug this morning then theres no problem.You did didnt you?
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I did. But I’ve switched mugs as the previous Arsenal mug had run out of magical juice. This one got us a draw away to the Tiny Totts so it’s not a total failure. So far.
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Phew,we’re on for a win then!
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I have to confess to you guys that I was really down after the Swansea result even though I didn’t see the game itself, thanks to my satellite provider for fucking up. But it was a big kick in the gut because, after the disappointments of Barcelona and United, I was expecting us to get back on track in our usual resilient fashion. It took Saturday’s blog by Steww to renew the seeds of optimism and my conviction that nine (9) games to go we are still in it. So I have to dissent with Steww today much as I am loathed to. This blog does not only appeal to those parched souls in a sea of digital negativity (blogs, podcasts, twitter) but even us on the Sunshine Bus need a a dose of tonic when the going gets tough. Twelve years after the Invincibles with the move from Highbury to the Emirates, the selling off of good players to pay for the stadium, the constant rebuild, etc., has made it a journey not for the faint-hearted.
Contrary to the now universal propoganda, even amongst our fans, that Arsenal lack heart, this is the time of the year we usually show our mettle. Hoping the result at the Scum marked a nadir and we go onto Hull and thrash them.
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Oluwashina Okeleji @oluwashina 19h19 hours ago Nigeria
#Nigeria striker Asisat Oshoala is set to join Arsenal Ladies from Liverpool Ladies after gaining a UK work permit: http://www.bbc.com/sport/football/35745229 …
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Stew, hope your book brings to you as much reward as your blog does to me and countless others. Pity we missed your pub!
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Pablo @AFCAMDEN 2h2 hours ago
The media really have been shameful recently. Completely misrepresenting AW’s comments. He deserves more respect than that.
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Great start to the morning Stew and everything of the best on the book.
This read got me thinking of something you did a while back about choosing to be positive or negative. When I, and all of you, signed up to support the Arsenal there wasn’t anything about being positive or negative, the only choice we made was to stick by and support the team. Because that normal isn’t it. Its those others that don’t have the nerve to stay true to this supporting “malarkey”. They can drown in their own misery for all I care.
On to Hull – I think they will want us to take the game to them, while hoping to catch us on the break. We are gonna hv to hold our nerve not to over-commit while trying to break them down. I want Larry to start tonight and score himself a goal or two. We need the handsome one boosting with energy for the run in.
The FA is ours and we don’t want to give it back. COYG
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Eddy, re 10.26am-the general reader deserves more respect also like AW, in that that newspapers assume authority(they arent),and start leading people up the garden path,but those bastards smell blood at the moment,as they are always on the look out for a victim.But Wengers a canny bloke…smarter than them.
COYG!
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http://news.arseblog.com/2016/03/exclusive-fara-williams-talks-about-arsenal-ladies-new-training-facilities/
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I did enjoy that Stew, it was like I was almost there. I can smell the unique odour of licensed premises in the morning if I close me eyes.
As for the “like Attenborough on the edge of a troop of fascinating simians” just stop it, you are spoiling us.
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The other marvellous thing about PA is that by reason of the very strict door policy imposed by our leader I can sit with my back to the door and still be completely relaxed.
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There’re probably a few corners with blokes in thinking “shut up Stew, I can’t have the lads knowing I’m here”
if only they’d take a closer look at their fellow corner occupiers.
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“Paul Merson: Wenger bored of criticism? I’m bored with coming fourth every year.”
Perhaps Merson needs to check a few facts Arsenal dont come fourth every year and I didnt know he was still playing for AFC (“Im bored with coming fourth every year”)?Unless hes means something else? Seem to recall PM was a good manager in his time too.
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I received this e mail this morning from the Arsenal Independent Supporters Association (ASIA) outlining their proposals to the club;
1. All season tickets should be frozen at the current rates for the duration of the new TV contract
2. A commitment should be given by the Club to increase the tiny annual discount provided by the Club to season ticket holders on a regular basis, until a reasonable level has been achieved
3. There is absolutely no need to apply categorisation to season tickets should there be ‘extra’ cup matches and this should be abandoned
4. Loyalty discounts should be provided by the Club to all season-ticket holders who have had a ticket continuously for 15 years, and then increased at 25 years, 35 years and so on
5. Season-ticket holders should be able to ‘opt-out’ of FA Cup matches, on a match by match basis
6. A staged-payment scheme should be introduced for season-ticket holders who struggle to pay the full amount by 1st June each year
7. At least two premier/prestige events should be organised by the club for season-ticket holders each year (with members selected by ballot if applications exceed numbers available)
Do you see any sort of pattern here ?
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Mind you it is good to know they have the wider interests of us all at heart;
“We campaign on issues that we feel potentially exclude and alienate
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Steady on Andy Nic: I’m on the waiting list and it is nice to know they have my best interests at heart. But I have to say, that if I were ever in a position to go to every home match (work and family tends to preclude that) I would think it good value compared with the one-off price. I guess its a bit like buying washing paper and loo rolls in bulk.
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I wonder if we might see the Gnabster on the bench this evening?
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I am strictly a sheet at a time man myself FH – way I was brought up – thrifty – and to be fair like AISA I do try to get the maximum value from the purchase.
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I sincerely hope those from throughout the spectrum of opinion within the Arsenal fanbase do allow themselves to be educated and think freely on here. But, I would say the same of UA, sometimes reasoned evidence based critics show themselves, but get a lot of the extremists as well…..and I dread to think what gets moderated out from the lunatic fringe.
Tough game this evening, Wenger will have to think carefully on who he picks…..and who knows, may even need a few penalty takers on the bench…..but think we will get through this , one way or another.
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Mandy: I read most of the articles on Untold and find them interesting – and I used to enjoy the comments too, but of late I have lost patience with the negative ones that appear, which is a shame. I think all will be well tonight, with a couple of relatively early first half goals and then an exercise in game control. Mind you, I’ve been expecting that most of the season, so maybe I’ll just shut up this time.
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I wonder what sort of mood Hull’s fans will be in tonight ? The fixture is not sold out for home fans which is a bit surprising even if it is on the box.
Since their draw at the Ems Hull have won one, drawn one and lost one, with only two wins in their past seven games. Luckily for them other Championship sides have not taken much of an advantage but Steve Bruce knows he needs to get his team back to winning ways to stay in the promotion hunt.
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on the AISA list, I had to laugh at their no.5, they clearly want it every which way, of course I agree that season ticket holders should be able to opt out of FA Cup games, in fact I would go further and say they should be allowed to opt out of all cup games, CL and FAC, but no bloody way should it be on a game by game basis. In or out, fuck half way measures.
there should be a 19 BPL game season ticket, and the 26 game, league and cups, one. Also this would clearly help when AFC do make cup finals, as those with the 26 game ticket should get priority on cup final tickets. Come on Ivan do it, you know it makes sense.
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That seems a very fair suggestion of a 19 game PL and 26 game PL/Cups season ticket.
Those who regard the FA Cup as ‘Mickey Mouse’ and our Champions League participation as pointless as we won’t win it can save a few bob.
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Afternoon all,just back from the House Of Commons where over a thousand of us cabbies went to lobby our MP’s over TFL’s incompetence,I didn’t get in despite freezing my wotsits off for several hours,however I did manage to make contact with my spirit guide Camp David who told me ‘Arsenal will be fine tonight precious’. Probably best I didn’t meet Ian Duncan Smith to be fair. Nice write up Stew btw..
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That seems a very fair suggestion all round. More pertinently for this evening, what are the pitch conditions likely to be like? It looks like a dry and calm night, but what state will the ground be in. The last time we played there I seem to remember it being a bit bare and bobbly.
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I look forward the Stew’s writing more than the games now. And I love the games btw.
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the choice of a 19 or 26 game season ticket would give the media a real headache, it would mean they would actually have to compare like with like, when it comes to all those “Arsenal pricing fans out of the game” articles.
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Oh, by the way it’s a 7pm kick off tonight. A proper match preview would have pointed this out.
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Its better than a “proper” preview.Can go anywhere for one of them.
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I think we have become a “niche site”. And I think I like that.
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That’s you all over George: always at your happiest in some niche or other.
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paul merson is a chelski fan as are all his family. what he and many players forget is the times when they played badly. His drugged filled mind has removed the time when he massively let the club down and so he doesnt know how to temper his criticism.
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Paul Merson – that lovable village idiot face, you could forgive him anything, if you could trust him.
First, an exceprt from a 442 interview he gave in November 2006;
Surely you regret leaving Arsenal?
Alex Griffiths, Sydney
Definitely, but I was gambling a lot at the time and the move to Boro doubled my wages. But the grass isn’t always greener. I regretted it within a month. Arsenal was a phenomenal club. Words can’t explain how well run it was.
Read more at http://www.fourfourtwo.com/features/paul-merson-one-one#8yWF7HVVQRVJU54G.99
And next what is on his Wiki page;
Merson later said “People thought I was mad to leave Arsenal for Boro, but they were mad to think it. I joined a club that wanted me, a club going places, it wasn’t for the money, I actually took a pay cut to join them, it’s not everyday you have an opportunity to work with somebody like [Bryan Robson], it was a no brainer.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Merson#Middlesbrough
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So happy to see Per at the back. I swear some people have no idea how vital he is to our calm and stability. It’s a s if some folk see only the very occasional error.
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Good to see Jeff and Chris on the bench.
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Arsenal: Ospina, Chambers, Mertesacker, Gabriel, Gibbs, Flamini, Elneny, Walcott, Iwobi, Campbell, Giroud
Arsenal substitutes: Macey, Monreal, Ramsey, Reine-Adelaide, Willock, Ozil, Alexis
Read more at http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/20160308/team-news-iwobi-walcott-giroud-start#6OeQWLfYK6AluHUX.99
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so just the six changes in the starting 11 and 3 in the 18
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COYG!
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Hull: Jakupovic, Bruce, Maguire, Davies, Odubajo, Elmohamady, Meyler, Huddlestone, Diame, Powell, Diomande. Subs: Kuciak, Tymon, Robertson, Livermore, Taylor, Aluko, Hernandez.
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Lovely throw from Ospina to set up that fast counter. Saw what Joel had in mind. Would have been glorious.
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Oh no. This looks nasty
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hope hes alright.
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come on you Per!!!
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strange old game so far.I Going to be a lot of injury time in this first half.
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phew.
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What a fantastic save, we really do have two very good keepers don’t we?
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