I stepped from solid ground and plunged into the vortex that is Youtube. As I swirled and plummeted farther and farther from reality my original intention of a harmless browse through a couple of football related videos became a distant and unreachable shore. Each link I clicked, each clip selected automatically for me by one of those dreaded algorithms about which we hear so much these days, sent me spiralling, Alice like, down one rabbit warren after another.
I eventually found myself watching a pleasant and largely unremarkable video of a wind turbine shot with the aid of one of those remote drone mounted cameras. The only thing of real interest was the middle aged chap seen taking his ease at the top of the two hundred foot high tower.
It transpired this was none other than Brother Joseph Byron who carries out routine maintenance on the turbine which provides power for the Rhode Island abbey and school of which he is a member. He also enjoys just sitting up there, catching a few rays while taking in the views, and marvelling at the work of his governor. It’s become a bit of a habit, he probably quips. None of this is anything more than background to the thrust of my argument, but I do believe you prefer a little context rather have me plunge headlong into some Arsenal related theory without any sort of helpful preamble.
It wasn’t the video or the Benedictine Brother’s vertiginous meditational perch which had me rubbing the chin and set the brow to furrowing. The frown which slowly creased my otherwise perfect complexion deepened as a result of reading the comments accompanying the short film.
Bear in mind the name, place of residence, job and length and preferred shade of brown of the brother’s tunic and scapular were all a matter of public record and referred to with helpful links by many commentators. This did nothing to prevent a horde of what I took to be mentally unsubstantial individuals falling over each other to be the first to shout FAKE! They protested in lengthy detail that any fool could deduce that the whole thing had been badly cobbled together using cgi. They listed with precise timings all the tell tale signs and howled that the entire thing was nothing more than a set up.
It wasn’t. It was obviously, rather dully and very plainly and easily verifiably real. Not the kind of thing anyone would bother faking in the first place and it had been pointed out by sober, unimpaired commentators that the man was genuine, the incident authentic and here, in fact, was the proof. Still they came. Fake! False! Set up! Surely no one can fall for this obvious trickery, here’s why, listen to me, I know what I’m talking about – and on and on.
I asked my son who being a ‘young person’ is therefore more at ease in this world than I. He shrugged, informing me that these people don’t care whether what they’re saying with such authority is rubbish and can be easily disproved. They are all over the internet, he said, and do not discriminate upon which topic they choose to vent. They either just want you to argue with them and get angry or they are simply shouting ‘Hey everybody, listen to me, don’t I sound clever?’.
Stop me when any of this begins to sound familiar.
I couldn’t help thinking of all the pointless, fruitless arguments had online by Arsenal fans. How we too make the mistake of assuming these are normal sentient beings who genuinely believe the things they say are honest, valid arguments or bear repeating. The reason we end up clutching our temples and imploring the world to tell us “Are these people for real?” is because no, not in any understandable sense, no they are not.
The wall of inhibition which prevents us standing up in a public space and spouting gibberish just to gain the attention of those therein gathered is stripped away on the internet and like a crack fuelled rhinoceros on a foreign holiday who has just sat on an exposed mains cable they run amok wanting nothing more than to be noticed or argued with.
When you realise this contagion is everywhere and unstoppable, not limited to football and certainly not to Arsenal, you realise that, far from fighting the good fight, taking up arms against these pitiable creatures is not only encouraging them it is fuelling their egos and filling them with satisfaction. My advice would be not to engage with them any more. You won’t convince with reason nor convert with persistence, they are not listening and do not care. You’re better off coming to Positively Arsenal, having a cup of tea and enjoying the company. Think of us, if you will, as the snug bar in a picturesque country pub and social media a kind of open air lunatic asylum.
So never mind that all of yesterday’s results were treated as opportunities to vilify the manager. Think of the tweets and Facebook posts as nothing more than the howls and yabbering of unfortunate souls trapped in the insanity and purgatorial nightmare of deranged, uninhibited and meaningless lunacy. You certainly won’t achieve anything by debating with them or quoting them on my timeline.
Today the real football returns. Today we have The Arsenal, not that mildly diverting sideshow put on by our rivals, and today we have the opportunity to take advantage of Man City’s dropped points. We travel back down to the south coast to see if we can do the double over Bournemouth. Despatched with some aplomb in the final fixture of 2015 the Cherries were fortunate to get away with a two nil defeat. A similar scoreline and performance today will suit us very well.
When we played Bournemouth at the Emirates we were reeling from a terrible result at St Mary’s and needed a solid display to help us bounce back. Many of us hoped the return to winning ways would be the start of a profitable run. Given the inconsistency of our rivals had it turned out that way we would, by now, be leading the field by some distance. Sadly we find ourselves back in a similar position today. An indifferent run of results has seen us slide from the top and suffer the unspeakable ignominy of watching second rate sides like Spurs go above us in the table. If ever we could do with a performance of style and confidence and a result to match, today is the day.
What of our opponents? Since playing us in December they’ve drawn two, lost only once and won four times. Two of those victories have been against lower league opposition in the FA Cup, their most recent league result a 2 -1 away win at the expense of Palace.
There is only one point between the sides in the current form table with Arsenal ninth and Bournemouth tenth, and if such statistics can provide any sort of guide to today’s match then a close game may well be in order. Obviously I hope not. I want to see an imperious Arsenal blaze back into match winning form but I’ve been offering up sacrifices and flagellating myself in a penitential appeasement of the football deities hoping for this mercurial performance for so long now that I’m getting a little tired of wishing for it.
Will it come today? Perhaps. Hope may be springing a little lower than in previous weeks but it still springs nonetheless. Alexis, our talismanic little battery powered bunny has had a couple of games to get himself back into his groove and the rest of the lads will know that now is the time they need to convert a few of the many chances they create.
We have been through, if not dark, then at least a gloomy few weeks, but the dawn may be upon us. As Brother Joseph can no doubt attest, there are many steps on the way to the top and the higher one ascends the harder they become. The view from the summit will surely be reward enough, we just have to have faith that we can climb farther and faster than those about and above us. Today would be a rather good day to begin that climb again.
Positively Arsenal 
Thanks Steww, as always an oasis of words and thought,and even more important always relevant.
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Steww are you around for the game later?
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Millsy me old mucker, I certainly hope to be but today I am at the mercy of other people and their tenuous grasp of time so it is possible I may have to catch up on Football Origin.
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Well heres hoping! Did you drink for the Arsenal mug today?
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Oh bollocks.
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Top quality read
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Hah hah, a modern day St. Symeon the Stylite (Syriac ascetic saint who achieved fame for living 37 years on a small platform on top of a pillar near Aleppo in Syria).
https://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6024/2693/1600/icon4.png&imgrefurl=http://ad-orientem.blogspot.com/2006/09/feast-of-saint-simeon-stylite.html&h=483&w=343&tbnid=T3DsO-AaXfsfqM:&docid=jpgcARkOdfH_ZM&hl=en-gb&ei=Kgu3VsiLBobSO7XLhJAJ&tbm=isch&client=safari&ved=0ahUKEwjIyOywqOXKAhUG6Q4KHbUlAZIQMwhEKB4wHg
This Arsenal team of ours is making my life precarious…..
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A crack fuelled rhinoceros ?
I like it
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You wouldn’t Andy.
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Steww
Do posts containing links to images go into moderation first?
Enjoyable post by the way…
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Georgaki I have literally no idea. I’ll go unstick it if it’s stuck though.
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Top top quality and a great way to start the day. Won’t see the game live due to daughter’s netball match but hope to see it as live later – and then I’ll come back here to see what you all make of it. Would be nice to see those flood gates open today and if they keep concentrating on the process soon enough the net will bulge.
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Hope she gets the right result Tim. No booing at half time if her team aren’t winning though. Not that I have the right to criticise you if you do of course. I’d have to actually attend in person to gain that right!
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Oh my goodness, what a piece to wake up to. Had this been a song, I’d have shouted “TUNE”! (As you do).
I’m commenting immediately for two reasons. Firstly, it’s because of the warm feelings I have when waking and reading a piece like this from Steww. 2ndly, unlike the shower of ****’s we’ve played over the last weeks, Bournmouth appeared to kick Arsenal less than said utter ****ing ****’s.
Indeed, the Cherries, besides playing “football”, as complimented by Arsène, also have our lovely man, Benik Afobe, who has scored in most games he has played for his new club. I wouldn’t mind him scoring today, but only if Ars already have three.
I’d like the football playing teams to stay up, and the Pulis/Hughes/SammusFattus rugby stylee teams – unconditionally relegated, inc. Norwich.
They would ideally be accompanied by the naysaying twatteratti along with YouTube deniers and the aaa.
“crack fuelled rhinoceros on a foreign holiday who has just sat on an exposed mains cable they run amok wanting nothing more than to be noticed or argued with.”
“Imagery”, to rahtid!
And of course you’re entirely correct, Steww. If one perused a video of say, Serena Williams, on YT, the comments that follow would make the rhino throw up irregardless of their probable disinterest in tennis.
And so that’s why I agree – PA, a safe, snug, interesting and inspiring place to visit.
Thanks Steww and PA.
COYG
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ah reminds me of speakers corner, as you walk passed all the noise occassionly you could pick out the sensible cohearent argument, the oasis in a desert of insanity.
This blog is one such oasis and Steww you are as always a very good speaker.
You are of course quite right that there are those out there who just spout through self promotion however there are also those who actually believe the shit they are saying.
Back to the Arse, normally there is a point in the season in which some teams are playing badly and picking up jammy wins while we have off games and are beaten. It seems this year we are playing well and still not picking up the points we deserve. The one sure thing in football is if you continue to play well you will eventually be rewarded, maybe not with an hatful of goals at first but with a steady increase in those things that turn games into a run of maximum points.
I would also say that only Theo has been off form, I know Kos hasn’t been at his emperous best but I wouldn’t say he was off form, and he will recover and the injured players are returning. The youngsters added to the squad are also all performing well as well as our new signing.
So with a few games to go before the run in officially starts we are looking good, the finish will be close but history has proved we like close finishes. COYG
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Woah!
Perhaps the most important word in this article is “context”. I shalln’t elaborate this time.
Ha, found out what this meant:
http://www.abbreviations.com/DNFTT (got da app pon home page).
Did not finish the tea?
I remain puzzled at a particular combo you’ve used, fins, and presently I can’t even remember what it is. Shame on me for not enquiring earlier, i.e. months ago.
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Superb Steww
Come on the Arsenal
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Ranty even I can’t be confusing tea and trolls.
One is a refreshing beverage. The other…best I stop there!
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tea hee titter ye not…
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“Twitter ye not”!
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I am not saying following Arsenal for the years is without its frustrations, but…there’s some feckin loons in our fanbase. If you beamed down from Mars and looked at Twitter yesterday eve, you would be forgiven for thinking we had suffered some horrendous defeat during the day.
Not sure what people get out of getting worked up about something which may never happen …..but its a free country. I just feel for the families of these clearly deranged, and very unhappy citizens.
Apparently, the new narrative for the “Joel, get out while you can brigade” is that we need to finish fifth, so the manager can be sacked……not sure where they make that assumption from, but heh…..let’s take opinions form the media, trolls and sleepers from other clubs that inhabit their forums.
But correct, not worth engaging with them.
However for all the whinging, it is possible we were done a huge favour yesterday. The likes of Spurs and Leicester play a fairly basic game, that demands huge fitness levels, very confident strikers and familiarity within the team. Both, especially the latter have had an almost unbelievable lack of injuries to key players, surely that cannot continue….can it?
Injuries and pressure, might, or might not yet derail Leicester.
Despite their naive and poor performance yesterday, still think that if we are to really challenge, City, with their quality and experience will be our number one threat, and they were dealt a blow yesterday. Conventional wisdom says city have lost too many games to be considered challengers, but this is not a normal season, it would be unwise to write them off.
There are things going on for the team to capitalise on, let’s hope they can, starting today.
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If today’s blog was a novel, it would’ve been a bestseller. Top top top quality Stew. May Arsenal pay you back in kind.
COYG!
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is it too early for me to go into meltdown over today’s team selection, yes I know the team has not been announced yet, but one thing I know for sure is that the team and subs I would pick is the team and subs that expletive old expletive senile expletive french expletive stubborn expletive fool expletive expletive expletive will pick.
and don’t go telling me to wait till we see how the game goes or for the result, cos I know for certain that even if the team the expletive who ruined my club picks wins today it will not win by as much as the team I’d pick.
by the way the team and subs I’d pick
Cech
Bellerin Gabriel Koscielny Monreal
Coquelin Ramsey
Walcott Ozil Alexis
Giroud
subs Ospina Chambers Gibbs Elneny Oxlade-Chamberlain Iwobi Campbell
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Going to be meltdown, Flamini remains in the team, and Coquelin stays on the bench just the one change for today’s game Ox for joel: Cech, Bellerin, Gabriel, Koscielny, Monreal, Flamini, Ramsey, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Ozil, Alexis, Giroud
substitutes: Ospina, Gibbs, Mertesacker, Coquelin, Walcott, Iwobi, Campbell
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reports suggest Elneny is not in the squad cos he is with his wife who is just after giving birth
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welbecks come back, highlights of the U21 game
http://player.arsenal.com/videos/7361/under-21s-v-brighton-h
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“crack fuelled rhinoceros on a foreign holiday who has just sat on an exposed mains cable they run amok wanting nothing more than to be noticed or argued with.”
“Imagery”, to rahtid!
Ranty – being a yardman (or related) there is more salty language to big up my bwoy, Steww.
As I type we are getting close to the main event and contrary to the superior advise of twitter and various podcasts Flamini is in AFC’s starting XI. As I observed to Steww on twitter earlier this week, there is a stunning piece of wisdom now prevalent among fans; as fast as possible the club should rid itself of experienced back-up players like Flamini. Instead the club should sign up all the best players in the world as back-ups and plant them on the bench. Apparently this policy has worked very well at City, Chelsea and United. No doubt Wenger is either senile or deluded.
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This was a brilliant piece, Stew, especially how at the end you seemlessly looped us back around to the opening image. That’s a sign of a writer right there.
This was a very timely blog for me, as I had a run-in with one such troll on Friday that knocked me off kilter more than it should have. Not that I was bothered by any of the unsolicited crap he was slinging, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d let a smug bully win by refusing to engage. Now, in my head I know this is not true. But there was just something really bothersome about letting that jackass have the last word. And they know this…so they always fire back. Just one more shot. And they turn the attack from its original target (club, player, manager, whatever) to you (idiot, ignorant, blind – I got all of those) because they know it’s harder for you to disengage from an argument when you’ve become the target (also because they don’t really have another argument, but that’s another story). Disengaging at that point feels like you are letting them walk away having disparaged your intellect and there’s nothing you want more than for them to see how wrong they are by firing back witty and sharply worded insults. But as Stew has pointed out, it won’t work. So, better just to not engage in the first place. I’m all for rational disagreement and debate, but I’m going to try really hard to ignore the trolls. Block and move on. Let them regale their troll buddies with stories of how you were a coward and blocked them because you were afraid their superior intellect would wound you. No matter how much it seems so at the time, their opinions of you are so unimportant. If there’s one skill our brave Arsenal lads learn that we can actually replicate, it is to not let trolls on the internet affect you.
Anyway, on to the match. While bitching and moaning is the topic of the day, I’ll indulge in one: I hate all these Sunday early kickoffs! I’ll be getting ready for church here with one eye on the TV. Can’t burn up an excused absence this week – next Sunday is a big one. Come on boys! The run starts today!
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Meltdown? Chambo has earned himself a start ahead of Campbell (JC could simply have been niggled down to th bench)
Exciting stuff with Chambo and Alexis both starting.
COYG
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shota its “expletive old expletive senile expletive french expletive stubborn expletive fool expletive expletive expletive”
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fins the meltdown will be cos Flamini is in the team
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With players in the squad competing for the flank positions now fit and firing I think we’re back to OG and TW at cf with OG keeping his spot due to recent form and AFCB’s record on set pieces? That’s my speculative guess.
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Wenger on selecting Chamberlain: “Alex is in good form and we want to take advantage of it. It is important to have balance in the team.”
Wenger on selecting Flamini: “You play players in good form. Coquelin is physically still a bit short.”
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Yes Eddy. A meltdown led by trolls who know better then to think that Coquelin is now ready (he isn’t) to slog it out every game till the end of the season. I wouldn’t pay them any mind because they are stuck on their regime changing rusted misfiring outdated guns. No point worrying about rust is there?
As Steww explains in his post today there’s no excuse for such piss poor psychotic support online or in any ground. Well, there was always someone Fing & Blinding all game long back in the old days but they did tend to get odd looks and as wide a circle as possible on a terrace, now they get plugs on aftv.
Anyway, there’s a game on!
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fins social media has given a platform for these idiots, no matte what nonsense any one cares to spout, it will get other like minded to support it, and the original poster will think that their viewpoint has been proved right and so encourages it to be repeated and expanded. The likes of AFTV going out of their way to create internet celebs has really given rise to the worst sort of AAA,
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Hah, hah, a modern day St. Simeon the Stylite.
http://tinyurl.com/ztlh95z
Let’s hope he intercedes on our behalf….
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COYG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Just thinking of the difficulty of keeping a prima dona happy, you know the type who expects to start every game regardless of form or a better alternative from the youth ranks; look no further than Debuchy.
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Great ball from the Ox, nearly put Mesut through. Let’s hope not too many nearly moments today.
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no need for that from Flamini, rightly booked
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another ref who only sees one teams fouls
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Excellent tackle from Aaron, player must have twisted his ankle because he wasn’t fouled.
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what the fuck are our players stopping play for, Bournemouth had the ball and did not stop so why the fuck do our players be such pussies about it, go on and play, its the refs job to stop play.
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get in ttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreee!!!!!!!!!!!
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That…. Will do nicely
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Ozil with a great half volley from an Alexis knock down of a high ball in over their defense 1-0 to the Arsenal
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Another assist for Larry.
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get innnnnnnnnnnn tttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeereeee!!!!!
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Floodgates!
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