A guest parody post from Muppet
We iz in the crisis now at Arsenal, innit.? Cos of the gaffer, the big chief Gazidis with ze wodge of dough, and Kroenke dat comes ere once in de blue moon. We iz the fans, and we iz not happy with ze proceedings this summer. We haz a million days to sort out ze transfers, and if u don’t mind me sayin, we ain’t done diddily squat. We iz clever, the fans. We know ze situation. What is a happenin here is crastination. We iz holding out for da big playa, but it ain’t a comin, like the rooney hair on da head. Capice ?
If u were a scholar of history, like I iz, u know that ze Godfather never negotiated. He just chopped off the horses head, innit? Ze arsenal board need ze wisdom of da fans. I will offer me advice at any time, me is so skilled that I won the village championship manager competition 2 years in da row. We iz able to impart carefully honed brinkmanship skills learned on the street corner, negotiating for da finest afghan snow
Ze position is simple. Spend da dough and match ze number of players going out with ze number of players comin in. At the moment, ze numbers no match. We ship Coqulein to GermanyLand and Gervinho for da nice break in Rome. Almunia iz gone back to the circus. Now, me no good at arithmetic but that means we need 3 players already. Sanogo dont count cos he a injury no go. So we iz of the opinion that we still need 5 players. Now, we all knowz that Brazil is the best club side in history innit ? So we need players like Maradona, Cyruff, Zidane, Moore and the like. I iz propose that ze photos of these players are circulated to ze scouts, so they can look for players who look like them around the world. Simples.
Me Dad always used to sayz ‘Look after pounds son, and that will look after the pennies’. We iz of the opinion that from the millions in da vault, we got a huge bounty man. We can go shopping in the arrods. But, John Cross, the tabloid geezer innit, says we are shopping in Lidl.
Me number on ze waiting list is 993429034892384, but if we get a bad start, me threaten to pull out in protest. Ze club will realise dwindling support and mebbe sign Scott Parker before deadline. Dat is my current preyer, dat Scott Parker comes to da rescue. Cos man, I already place order for multi pack pants at Next. The Jury is still out on everyone else man. We about as ready for da new season as a stiff in da morgue.
I heard the news that we play Fenerbache and I nearly shat ma pants. What hope do weze have with the trukish mafia involved? Gazidis is a wallflower and we aint got any weapons. He ain’t no wartime consiglory. Diaby, Arteta are in da coma and Ox is in da hospital. Fook me. We iz going to need me supply of laxatives this season. We iz really pessimistic this season. Might borrow up and go abroad.
Seriously, innit? We got us as much chance as a hair on Ray Wilkins head. If ze board has listened to the fans after we went unbeaten the whole year, then none of dis would be happenin. A big stopper, an artic in front of the back 4 and a world class striker. This iz ze ope of the fans, but nobody iz listening. Piece. Woop Woop.
Muppet can be found on Twitter @MuppetGooner
Positively Arsenal 
Hahahaha. Far out MUPPET.
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You feel me M
Yo daddy a shrewdmudderfucker
( If I may say so)
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You da man. We need us a war time consilyere. Maybes we get us some of them Turkish capos comin in helping out. We sure as heck didn’t get the other capoue. Wez in big mess I tells ya.
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Nice bit of lightheartedness at such a solemn time…..
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pedantic george
August 19, 2013 at 11:34 pm
“Well for some its still out Passenal,do some degree or other.”
And therein lies the problem. Instead of acting like judge and jury, perhaps the fans should try ‘supporting’ all the players who are here and can actually help the team rather than spending every waking minute on Twitter pining for £50m replacements.
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Muppet – he da man.
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Exactly PASS
never satisfied. Like a kid with an unopened present crying for another.
By the , I’m watching R.SOCIDAD VS LYON. CARLOS VELA has turned into a very nice player. A shoot against post from 30 yards out and a fantastic assist.
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hohoohohoh ..hahahaaa..hhihihih..
we iz da fans and we iz not happy!
What is a happenin here is crastination / Ze arsenal board need ze wisdom of da fans
god there are so many. well played muppet. well played sir!
importan game tomorrow
p.s Now, we all knowz that Brazil is the best club side in history innit ? So we need players like Maradona, Cyruff, Zidane, Moore and the like.
stitches!!!!1 ..i ache….
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If ze board has listened to the fans after we went unbeaten the whole year, then none of dis would be happenin.
im sos orry guys i find this sense of humour absolutely fantastic and spot on! ….i will try to emulate this from now on and take the piss out of arseblog and other mainstream bloggers ahahahah muppet i salute you !
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Muppet,
I heard total reliables source Anicoll on PA blog (wankerz! all mindless AKB) what mad proff mr wonga and gredy ass misses our on some playah called el Gordo.
Weezz gloryhunters can’t take it any more! Sack the board (whatever that is?!?) , make stan (who is he?) sells the club to Payton! We missed out on this massive massive playah,
but how’s cum he aint on me football manager13?
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Muppet sooow truth.
Mr madman can’t do tactics he wins the dubbil and invincibles ( what is de histories buke?) but he is just proxy luckie.
De manager knows nuffink bout football, that nice dirty old man mr palmer showed me his secret knowledge. But he do smell a bit wanky stain does mr palmer.
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I find this street talk thing absolutely spiffin don’t you know, its totally correct these irchins and ragamuffins think they know how to manage a world famous football club preposterous what!
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word.
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True dat.
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Looks like we lost the OX for six weeks but the good news is SAGNA, GIBBS RAMSEY AND MONREAL are ready to go.
Expulsion pending for Fenr. On many fronts it looks like a pointless match. Hope there is no fan violence tomorrow as the atmosphere always gets super hot in turkey.
Have mixed feelings regarding the possibility of signing flamoney back. Very mixed but if AW and the board see it as the way forward well …….. Next ten days is going to be a roller coaster ride. Fasten up.
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Someone better take the daily and the independent to task over the pure rubbish published yesterday. The quality of the writing was nausiating. Pure venom.
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IG. let me see your PitBull side . Take on the referee association and the media outlets. Put them in their freaking place.
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And the snakes in the grass ast with their 1100 jerk membership.
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Hahahaha Muppet, I missed this.
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Wenger gives me confidence. He knows what he’s up to, and doesn’t want to reveal too early so simply says, keep calm, watch this space. Helluva shame about Ox, but OK, that’s your chance too Serge. A delight to see the one, the only, Muppet.
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‘What is important in football is to go out and see a good game’
The simple truth
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When Wenger starts gunning, you better start running!
From the telegraph:
Wenger dismissed the suggestion that Tottenham’s transfer activity would put Arsenal’s top-four place under threat. “I hear that for 16 years now,” he said.
Boom!!
Reload
“I am not happy when our fans are not happy because my job is to make them happy. But I cannot listen every minute to every state of mind. I have to focus on and do what I always do – what is important for this club.”
Boom!!
Switch to double barrel.
On Arsenal’s offer for Cabaye, Wenger said: “You don’t know what we have done, you don’t know if we did bid. It’s quite amazing that all of the people don’t know and yet they always have opinions about things they don’t know.
Boom!! Boom!!
Reload
You can’t reproach us on one side for not buying and yet on the other side when we try to buy to reproach us as well. That is a bit contradictory.”
Boom!! Boom!!
Reload
Asked why Arsenal had left it so late to spend, Wenger said: “Less than two weeks is a long time and 75 per cent of things happen in the last 10 days. We are not there yet but a lot will happen in the next 10 days. When we think we have the right players, we do it. We were restricted for years and we competed with exceptional quality. This year we did not lose any players.
Boom!! Boom!!
Final flourish.
“We lost two players in three days for long periods,” he said. “I could get lessons on training sessions from everybody at the moment. I don’t worry because I believe in the players we have and the quality of their spirit and attitude will come out again.”
Area cleared. For the time being.
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Hahaha SA
BOOM, BOOM BOOM INDEED.
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Great to see Le Boss firing some double canister shot into the fucknuts.
Why not a bit of Fergie behaviour and ban the worst journos (as if there is a good’un) to the outer hell of not getting any interviews?
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Arsenal is in crises! We heard it last year, and the year before! If we’re a club in perpetual crises then I’m grateful we have one of the most brilliant football minds managing our team…..(well, it’s his team really)!
All my fence sitting friends have turned. Now all they feel for the club is anger and for Arsene, hatred! This is the atmosphere and condition in which Wenger has to work in………now, there’s a challenge! When we do win a trophy this season, the price for pies will plummet!…………unbelievable! We lose our first game of the season to a cheating and kicking (the commentator on my stream called it “desire”) Aston villa side, aided by a referee with an agenda and our fans write off the season on the basis of said game and the club’s lack of big name transfers!
The boys will return even stronger! They may tear our flesh and break our bones but they will never crush our spirit!
I’m going to enjoy this season!………I can feel it!
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It’s been said before but I’d like to repeat so please indulge me:
Please ignore disingenious & snide comments made elsewhere.
The contention that people who choose to support are incapable of critique when talking about their beloved Arsenal is a weak half arsed smear not much better then the idiots branding people as AKBs years ago and it reflects poorly only upon those who utter it.
Many of our writes have made many interesting and dare I say it funny (aye, and there’s the rub) critiques when they feel like it. Plenty of irrefutable evidence for that.
No need for any further comment.
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HA HA!
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You are a star, Moopay
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Today is an excellent day to be positive. It is a match day; I love the CL European nights and the atmosphere in Istanbul is going to be amazing. Our boys, and it looks a reasonably strong first 11 is available, should be up for it if they can put Villa defeat aside and thrive in the electric hostility of Fener’s stadium. I just hope we get a good performance leading to a goal scoring draw or an away victory with no injuries of any kind. If we get that, we can start building momentum and head to Fulham with a strong spirit . A win there and good performance in the return home leg will see us through and prepare us well for a big, meaningful NLD. It starts with a courageous performance tonight and I’m excited to watch.
In the meantime, if the club can add a few players of decent quality to the squad in the right positions to carry us through, we’ll swing the momentum and feeling around the club and hopefully manage a stronger start than in the last couple of seasons.
Probably not too much to say tactically: injuries have forced our hands but I wouldn’t shrink from starting Fabianski. His distribution will help us keep possession. Sow and Kuyt are the dangers and Sow is a deadly finisher, and hopefully we won’t go down to a quick goal and have the pressure of digging out of tough position to get a scoring draw. I hear that Fener’s back line and defending is very porous so I hope the CM’s pass forward quickly to the wings for Podolski and Walcott in counterattack.
My line up would be:
Fabianski
Sagna Merts Kos Gibbs
Rambo Rosicky
Walcott Cazorla Podolski
Giroud
I think the JW Ramsey combo leaves us a little exposed and short of experience in an important away CL tie and JW needs to be brought on more slowly to get back into his best form. Also this will encourage Ramsey to be more disciplined since Rosicky is more clearly the creative ball carrier going forward, so will clarify some of our midfield roles (although there is always interchange etc…, but I am thinking of primary responsibilities and tendencies over the course of the game). I don’t know why Podolski slipped behind the Ox but I would go with experience and finishing–the linking between Podolski and Giroud last season was strong. We could have Cazorla on the bench and play JW alongside Ramsey but I’m inclined not to play Cazorla out wide as he seems a bit exhausted and might be better centrally until he is up to speed.
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Arsenal, Arsenal, Arsenal….Arsenal, Arsenal, Arsenaaaaal…Arsenal, Arsenal, Arsenal…Arsenal…ARSENAL…pheeeeeep…whoops sorry only just had it fitted
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Limey I was just a little hyped for Chamberlain after his summer moves (not transfer moves but those on the pitch, thanks be to the football gods) for England, excellent against City IMO (only mine!) and carrying on from where he’d left off the best player on the park in that first 45 on Sat. An amazing coup, his signing, although I do accept that this may not meet with the narrative of D**M*
But yeah, Plodders as reserve will do.
*i was thinking Limey (please don’t be alarmed). The no good Mancs (once a Manc always a Manc, at least that’s what I tell my brother in law) went from being a team that had Keane at CM to Carrick….but I’d expect Moysie to change that now.
UTA
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Whoops misplaced my Gr*t there for a moment. Phew.
I’ve just spent the day with a Fener fan.
Ugh. : )
Time to do FUFA’s dirty work for them. I’m expecting a willowy official who will sway with every glance from Stevie B, though based on the record they tend to save such things for the Home tie in the CL, so maybe not then. They will just have to try and do it the old fashioned way, get an away goal and then have the opponents best player sent off for kicking the ball on the return. Just kidding that last bit, I think.
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Hi guys,
We are trying the virtual stadium thing for tonight’s match. Virtual stadium, sounds big and fancy 😀 Right now it is me and Georgaki. More are welcome.
Basically the plan is to watch the match on our tv sets/ live streams while we also have a group video call going on in our laptops/tablets,etc.
We are doing it on google hangouts. Anyone interested in joining today’s match can add me: sensational.arsenal@gmail.com
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I cant find you with that SA
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Paul, I added you on gmail after seeing your id on yesterday’s comments.
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George, I sent you an email from this id. Hopefully you can add me now.
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Do I need an account?
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yeah, I think so. Google insists that you join google+ so that you can use hangouts (the group video call feature). I didnt want my main account to become part of google+. So I created this id. All new gmail accounts are part of google+.
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COME ON YOU GUNNERS!!!!!!
time to kick some ass……
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SA georgerodger10@gmail.com
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I laughed my ass off at the one about Mr. 98,763 on the waiting list pulling out of the list as protest.
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Huh, where is my RED AND WHITE?
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Their first string goalkeeper is suspended. This guy is their second goalkeeper and he is carrying a major knee injury. They also have a very week defense but very potent offensive players.
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SA I could see you but not here you I am audio only
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George, I couldnt hear you. You dont seem online now.
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Where is Georgaki?
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Close that. Come on OG
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The team is playing with a real intensity and tempo
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Come on Aaron. Get it on target.
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Shit. Right in the kisser. KOSHER
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