Early in the week, leaked photos forced Arsenal to reveal that Dennis Bergkamp will be honoured with a statue outside the stadium. This will force Arsenal into a more prompt revealing of the statue but it’s unlikely to rush Arsene Wenger who will be out panic-buying any rusty figurine he can find in a French antique shop. The Flying Dutchman will be joining Arsenal legends Tony Adams, Thierry Henry and Herbert Chapman in being immortalised in bronze. The whole thing is slightly cheapened by the fact that Phil Brown achieved this years ago.
Then came the news that goal line technology would be introduced to the Premier League for the start of next season. Le Boss welcomed the news in his press conference but is he ignoring the beauty that the confusion can bring? Remember Frank Lampard’s big, sad moon face? Are we sure we want to change something that brought us that moment?
It was never my intention to mention Lampard but I couldn’t resist the perfect segue to the elephant in the room.
Arsenal were away this week and lost, two goals to one. It was a gripping encounter for thirty five minutes where Arsenal were the better of two good sides. The Arsenal defence then proceeded to shit itself in two minutes of utter chaos. It was grim. The game was more even in the second half as the home team grew into the lead which must have shocked them as much as it did us. When we got a free kick in the corner, there was a feeling that it could bring a goal but nobody was guessing at which end it might come. Per headed it home and we were back in it. There were a couple of chances but it finished that way and typing about it is annoying.
And finally! An Arsenal fan is alleged to have thrown a banana at Gareth Bale and some newspapers are reporting that the perpetrator will be banned for life by Arsenal. It was first believed to have particularly enraged Tom Huddlestone as he was seen roaring at the infamous fruit flinger, but close up angles now show Huddlestone clearly ordering a “pie and chips with extra gravy”.
That is the round-up for this week. Thank you for reading.
Up the Arsenal!

Brady7,was there not something about a takeover this week?
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Yes B7 it has been that sort of week – some good, some bad and ending with the Goddess of Football harkening to the wailing of the followers of the Monkey sprites
She can be quite a bitch at times
Resolution required
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I think B7, in common with the BBC, is refusing to report on something that can not be corroborated. I’m speculating he’ll be like this with the transfer speculation this summer. I think it’s very dignified.
Bananagate is handy insofar as it’s an obvious ‘gate’ for this week’s news; I wonder if part of the issue with this is that the banana was launched unpeeled and therefore was considered even more of a Heath & Safety risk than might otherwise have been the case. They don’t seem to be applying a similar level of serious scrutiny to the cigarette lighter allegedly hurled at Theo, Presumably an orbiting pack of fags could have caused the game to be called off.
Who knows? As you can see, I don’t.
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All joking apart.Too throw a banana is poor.
He should be banned.Thin edge of the wedge and all that.
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Orbiting sacks o tags??? Alrighty then..
Morning everyone.. I wanted to thank FUN GUNNER for the link to the
Forbes article she provided yesterday. And apologizes for the language that was directed at you. Very unclassy.. I hope j get the time today to drop by the pub to catch DORTMUND VS SHAKATAR. .
i hear the world is stopping to watch same..
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Nice one number 7, George is right bannana boy should be banned,there’s a good chance he could be a bannerwanker, a sticker tosser or a moaning miserable bastard who’s never heard of loyalty and wants arsene out, if he’s none of those-then let him stay.
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If anyone has been reading my tweets about pushing Adrian Clarke can they please put in a bit of effort ?
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canst stand this gary neville – gg back four revisionism going on…cant stand it …arsenal fans are closely becoming the bigget morons on planet earth …how can they demand or expect that wenger changes his playing philosophy to accomodate for a few results…the man thinks /sees 10 years ahead,,you really think he is fussed about goals conceeded? he wants to see the team forming chemistry and then applying what they are being trained on…i.e score 6 in every game ….fuck the defence.. and whoever wants to kick us and prevent us from scoring 6 shall see red and yellow cards. like fuck if arsenal changes its correct values/;prinicples on the game..the rest will have to change.. not us. pull a finger out ivan and put all these muppets attacking the manager and the club at their places ..give them back their money even…tell em all to eff off. we do what we want.
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Andrew is correct. I chose to ignore the takeover because I think it was just another attempt to destabilise.
Thanks for the kind comments, dudes.
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take this shit comment for instance
“When it comes right down to it, it strikes me it’s down to the quality of the players. That falls upon the manager, obviously,”
ah so the quality of the players is only up to the manager huh? nothing to do with what kind of budgets are available to him the past decade or so, no? just who are these clueless jobless yobs commenting on arsenal subjects and using words such as “obviously”?
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it is outrageous that arsenal fans are doubting wenger;s ability to spend money wisely. that they want t have debates on such a disrespectful topic, such a classless topic such a bullshit topic.
arsenal fans have nothing to do apparently and feel entitled to scrutinise a professional even on an area which is his personal forte. an area where he is second to none… even that is being doubted, questioned…
sick …
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I am still mulling over what the point of the fakeover was. Partly to destabilise the club by winding up the support, of course, but I think there may be some other aim, which makes me uneasy.
@ goonerkam
no worries, we’re good. Hadn’t even noticed any language, might take a closer look now! [insert banned smiley face].
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@ pedantic george March 5, 2013 at 10:48 am
If anyone has been reading my tweets about pushing Adrian Clarke can they please put in a bit of effort ?
What does this refer to? I like Adrian Clarke, so I hope you mean “pushing” in a good way?
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I thought it’d be appropriate to quote Liam Brady today!
“I hope that Arsene is given the resources to spend and have a go at putting us back where we were eight years ago.
“I think he should be given that chance and, from where I am in the club, I don’t think there’s any pressure on him – I think the board are 100 per cent behind him… I think we’ve got to keep it all in perspective.
“The majority of the fans are behind him, the staff are behind him and I think the board are behind him. So we wait to see what the future brings.
“I think Arsenal’s demise has been exaggerated.”
Not sure where those comments came from.
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Hunter, In the space of two weeks we have had both AW and now Liam Brady S.P.E.L.L I.T O.U.T. But still the ITK experts will start their threads: ‘why doesn’t Arsene spend?’
It really is quite a stupid posture to assume.
People pushing this arsene doesnt spend meme, for years, are at best immensely deluded (I’m trying to be polite!).
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George I will be promoting Adrian Clarke to all I know. He’s a top top banana.
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Petros Georgiou /daily mirror / holt.
11:51 AM on 4/3/2013
Arsenal cannot suffer a change of both at the same time, so to answer the writer, neither. At the moment all the blood mongers are baying for a bloody kill out there. I can only assume those ‘Fleet Street’ blood calls are genetic, driven by a thirst for public hangings and beheadings their ancestors attended in Britain’s Bloody periods in history!! Someone used to go….
AFC have always been about continuity – if it has not been on the field, it has been in management. If has not been in managment it has been in the Board room.
Arsenal’s real problem in the last 5 years has been in the Board room, where there have been three sackings (some ‘effectively’), one death, changes in ownership and a contest for it. There has also been public bitterness displayed in a sale of shares to Kroenke by Lady Nina Bracewell-Smith. Madness in the heirarchy of power – a real power struggle.
The only mainstay in this has been Sir Peter Hill-Wood and even he has changed his tune – initially he didn’t fancy having “a Yank” in the Board Room, but now he is the preferred seat member to Usmanov.
Arsenal OUTWARDLY do things with taste, class and perserverance, with history in mind. It is all about symbolism. That is why Kroenke was preferred to Usmanov by Sir Peter H-W.
Everyone who is a TRUE GOONER will understand this is a classic POWER STRUGGLE over who will carry THE Arsenal for the next period in its history during a period where football has eaten itself. Trhe rules always take time to catch up on the excesses, so financial fair play will start properly in the near future.
Arsenal although not benefitting today, will do in the next five years. Sir P. H-W will surely retire and hand over the reigns. Kroekne is his preferred choice. In truth, I can only see it from one perspective. Arsenal financially can take on anybody now and all the money has been self generated. There is NO outsider GAS OR OIL money wanted at AFC. The oweners do not need gold medallions to hang around their necks.
All of you who love football and are still reading this I warn you to be careful. People foreign to football are now controlling it becasue they are so rich ans this is their new playground. It is down to ALL OF US not to react to emotive stories like these designed to stir us up, and instead respect our clubs and support them properly.
Wenger has been caught up in this melee, performing miracles with the very little financial power he has at his disposal. Make NO mistake. The Board control the spend 100%. Even if they state publicly the manager has £30m or £40m at his disposal, Wenger is still under Board dictate to squeeze every penny he can and deliver cash in the bank and 4th place in the league. He has done this in the last 8 years brilliantly for them.
Factually, and from an accounting view, they are the only club around to REALISE the value of their playing assets in cash at theis level – so they are squeezing MAXIMUM juice from this fruit. They have nearly paid off £350m borrowings BY THEMSELVES to build a new stadium. Where is the credit given to them for that? and no kroenke does not take loads of cash out. His return is the value of his investment as underlined by the tasteless new Middel easten bid. They value Kroenke’s investment at £20,000 per share – he has paid an average of £12,500. Kroenke does not need to take money out of Arsenal. His CAPITAL INVESTMENT is where the money is.
This is all at the time when others are spending money like confetti to bully others out of league positions and claim trophies. Sorry Chelsea and Man utd and City fans – your clubs BUY trophies- Man Utd less so, but nevertheless without mortgaging Utd to the hilt in the last 8 years, even Man Utd would have been ousted by chelsea and City. These are desperados and tasteless nouveau riche power junkies flexing financial muscle just to stick it to ALL of us what they can do will ALL THAT MONEY.
In final analysis, £123m in cash at the half year is exceptional, but we will answer the writers question by saying – WAIT & SEE. 10 games will then define whether we are in the CL or not. Deduct £30m from the £85m promised Wenger this Summer if we do not qualify.
If we do spend it in Summer and shake up the squad. Kroenke in, Wenger in.
If we do neither, that will be the time to see what’s on the table for the Board to consider their next move.
At the very worst, Wenger is appointed to the Board and a new fresh coach found in the mould of someone like the superb Laudrup (all respect to Swansea).
Our biggest problem is whether Wengers spirit for Arsenal ‘love’ has been broken in all these machinations…
I always ask myself a question to keep me grounded… what do all the other supporters of all other clubs who are not blessed with financial success or football success or trophies feel and think?
Answer…They still turn up and support their clubs, and continue to enjoy football….
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In moderation?
BOOOOOOoooooo
HISSSsssssssssssss
Actually it is my fault, but that wont stop me booing. I might have typed my address wrong. Help!
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Thanks Bradyesque.
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In view of the fact that 60 years ago today that famous Arsenal fan Josef Stalin sadly passed away I think a moment of quiet reflection is called for
He did not entertain booing – not for a moment – did Stalin
“Anyone booing ? ” he would ask and slowly look round from his seat in the old East Stand lower.
You could hear a pin drop
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“The Flying Dutchman will be joining Arsenal legends Tony Adams, Thierry Henry and Herbert Chapman in being immortalised in bronze. The whole thing is slightly cheapened by the fact that Phil Brown achieved this years ago.”
Thats funny.
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Now we know why AFC were so successful in the thirties.
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If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try it again.
So, Liam Brady was reported to have said the following:
“I hope that Arsene is given the resources to spend and have a go…I think he should be given that chance and, from where I am in the club, I don’t think there’s any pressure on him – I think the board are 100 per cent behind him…we’ve got to keep it all in perspective.
The majority of the fans are behind him, the staff are behind him and I think the board are behind him. So we wait to see what the future brings.
I think Arsenal’s demise has been exaggerated.”
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Hunter,
In the space of two weeks we have both Arsene and Liam S.P.E.L.L I.T. O.U.T. in case anyone has been confused these past few years. There are two conclusions: Those perpetuating the “Arsene does not want to spell the moolah”* meme are wither
a) too busy poking sticks into their eyeballs to notice the obvious
b) lying
* I have no doubt that AW has told one or two agents to *ahem* fark orf. Possibly Christopher Samba’s agent? Don’t know what gives me that impression.
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Heh < "the Arsene doesn't want to spend the money" meme…
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Hunter, maybe I am misunderstanding you but I do think Arsene is concerned about us getting scored on, especially two goals like Sunday.
I am wondering if we should have Kos and Per in the middle. I rate TV highly but he does seem to be a bag of nerves at times.
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Yes FunGunner,Push Adrian by Emailing Arsenal.com and asking that he is given a bigger part to play.
He should be our Gary Neville.The main stay of our presentation.With more exposure he could become the “go to Guy” when the Media want an Arsenal man.Rather than one of the bitter twats that they seek out at present.
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fins, hi mate, i have put the cunts down into 3 categories
1) chelsea, spurs and united trolls having the time of their lives online taking the piss out of “weak” arsenal fans about trophyless years, feeder club, or even disguising as arsenal fans to attack wenger…..the mere fact that their fixation is the manager exposes them.
2) media and establishment, the class of 66 as others say who absolutely hate arsenal for its foreign manager and foreign football practices. Here i include ex players, ex managers, pundits, sky, newspapers
3) weak and ill-informed arsenal fans who cant see number (2) and bite the bait of number (1) hook line and sinker. In this category we will sadly find people of arsenal background operating on an agenda and trying to gather the sheep on their side for their power – struggle within the club owners and their interests.
as you can see, such an environment is perfect to destabilise arsenal, make them doubt their philosophies/policies and destroy the club with its own fans as instigators.
arsenal fans have given a very bad account of themselves…it hes become a fact that our fans are weak arseholes that would rather listen to our enemies than trust the man who has won things with us and taken us to another level.
there is a section that is doing it deliberately in order to get to kroenke. i understand that. and i can see it too. But there are many who dont see this and end up abusing and attacking the manager and everything we have stood for as a club and everything that he stands for in the game.
a lot of shit and lies going around ……
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yes paul -n no doubt he is concerned about easy goals being conceeded but id guess he is more angry that our attack dont finnish off the chances created. i mean tottenahm could easily have been 0-3 down if our crosses and timing was as it should be.
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giroud had a “camp nou ” bendtner momment ….a tad quicker/smarter and vertognhen ( already committed) would have either slid past like an idiot or even conceed penalty… but olivier was a bit hesitant.
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Yeh, we should have finished the off long time, Hunter. The final ball was lacking.
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I think Gary Neville pointed out some times when a killer pass was all we needed. Had Rosicky written all over it.
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Jack has a pass success rate of 73% Aaron was 94%
Yet we never hear a peep about hoe Jack had a bad day.
Rosicky should start every game he is fit for.
But.that may be me looking short term and Arsene seeing a bigger picture.
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paul-n . for me , it was a matter of details that we didnt score first… unfortunately they got a lucky escape with their two goals against the run of play. they didnt do anything different than the sunderlands or stokes that sit back and wait to exploit mistakes…..its just that the game was high profile and naturally the trolls are out in force twisting everything…
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George, It think it says a lot that Rosicky was voted MOTM on the Arsenal site. He is the best all round midfielder we have, there is no doubt about it for me. He is excellent in the tackle, can make any pass, has excellent vision, has a good shot and can turn on a dime and drive with pace better than most.
I agree Hunter, it just sickens me that we let them get away with it. We handed them the game in 3 minutes. It is just hard for me to stomach.
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you will hear/read people crying about podolski and how he was a striker in koln……well koln got relegated ( hallo?!) ….and playing as stirker for koln is a bit different than playing striker for arsenal… podolski does not have the mobility nor altitude to play up there on his own. yes we know he can finnish, so can theo , thats why they are both strikers playing on the sides..both step inside the area …theo/poldi are not wingers in our 433 they are the right side and left side forwards…..our fullbacks do the crossing and line-hugging with arteta and/or wilshe/rams covering as l/r wingers in case of a contra attack….poldi/theo are inside area or lurking thereabouts for the finnish…pires wasnt a winger nor was freddie….arsenals 433 transforms into a 2 5-3 when attacking
also both our sides are effective when the right players are there. left : gibbs and poldi …right : theo and sagna… these cooperations are not available right now…
when the five in the middle have been gibbs arteta wilshere cazorla sagna and with the three up front as is ( poldi giroud theo) we score 4 5 6 and 7goals with all three of them getting goals and assists quite easily. they have shown it, we have seen it. it works. and since we will alwys leave two at the back they have got to be, above all, ball-playing defenders. we have them too. our system works, its consistency we cant find and thats natural since the team is practically new.
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paul – n
what makes you more sick?
1) tottenahms lucky escape
2) arsenal fans reactions
for me its (2) all the way…i aint got a clue who or what tottenahm is, other than that shitty club at the end of the road dying to emulate us… 😉
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Hunter,
I’m sure we could do a better PR job between us for the unfortunately maligned Gas Guzzler. That ‘pint of bitter at his local’ story worked a treat. Almost as funny as John Terry cycling on the touchline. Almost.
For myself I can’t wait to meet Usmanov for a pint down the local. But I’m not sure how he’d fit at the Auld Triangle. If he’d fit through the doors. Can he dance a jig? Would anyone want to see Usmanov dancing? More importantly would anyone want to play any music for him to dance to?
Maybe he could come to another pre-match / post match ‘local’? But I’m not sure if Usmanov, man of the people, would be mad keen at drinking his bitter in the ‘Che’.
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Hunter ,I have been stealing your stuff again for twitter.
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Hunter, the fans, but I don’t even waste my time with the ‘Wenger out’ “supporters” anymore. I just cannot be bothered with the bulls. Supporters of other clubs have nothing but respect for AW and they know if given time he will have Arsenal back at the top.
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I also have no time for the Spuds, I could not care less. My issue is with us ironing out our issues and stop allowing our nerves to get the better of us. The talent is in house, now as you say, we need consistency, to do that we have to remain calm and focused.
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Thought I’d post this as it made me chuckle but is so real.
“ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER:
Dear Sirs,
I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe how is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1988, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date.
Do you guys do this by hand?
My birth date you have on my pension book.
It’s on all the income tax forms I’ve filed for the past 30 years.
It is on my National Health card.
My driving licence.
My car insurance.
On the last eight damn passports I’ve had.
It’s on all those stupid customs declaration forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years.
All those insufferable census forms.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is Mary Anne, my father’s name is Robert and I’d be absolutely astounded if that WOULD ever change between now and when I die!!
I apologise, I’m really pissed off this morning.
Between you an’ me, I’ve had enough of this bullshit!
You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bleeding address!!
What is going on? Do you have a gang of neanderthal arseholes workin’ there?
Look at my damn picture.
Do I look like Bin Laden?
I don’t want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days?
If I ever got the urge to do something wierd to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you’d be the last fucking people I’d want to tell!
Well, I have to go now,’cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30.
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?
Nooooooooooooo, that’d be too damn easy and maybe make sense.
You’d rather have us running all over the fuckin’ place like chickens with our heads cut off, then WE have to find some arsehole to confirm that it’s really me on the damn picture – you know, the one where we’re not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fuckin’ morons)
Hey, do you know why we couldn’t smile if we wanted to? Because we’re totally pissed off!
Signed
An Irate Citizen
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it’s me?
Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 …
I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world.
However, I have to get someone ‘important’ to verify who I am – you know, someone like my doctor ..
WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FRIGGIN` PAKISTAN!
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Priceless, Dups!
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@ pg
Good. I will email about him, then
@ pedantic george March 5, 2013 at 4:55 pm
I noticed that too. It’s favourites and scapegoats again.
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Sources report that a team in apparent downward spiral last longer than all others in the champions league for season 12/13. Blimey! :wink icon:
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Teams from the premiership that is Obv…
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Now the stage is really set for a miracle.
ARSENAL!!
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So poor Slur Alex now knows what it feels like getting dodgy ref’s.
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thing is, Eboue was sent off for exactly the same thing when we played them couple of years ago…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jH5t58FCs3k
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dups, what dodgy ref?
don’t remember seeingh him before but he is my favorite now.
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Speaking of Eboue, Galatassary should have had 3 pens when they played United in the group stages. Talk about dodgy ref.
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Evil, I think Nani’s was bit more dangerous but you do expect no more than a yellow.
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Yeah, Nani had a lot more momentum going in. I do agree that it would usually be a yellow card, but Nani did afterwards throw himself to the ground feigning injury. That alone makes him deserve another card!
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Hello all was just thinking that Nam and The Shit should be a relaxing getaway for players who have to perform in front of the kind of berks we get at the Emirates!
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