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BACK TO THE EMIRATES!

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on December 3, 2024 in All Posts

Arsenal FC v Manchester United FC

Hello, and how are you?

Well, as we enter the dark month of December made pretty by all the Advent lights, the Mighty Cannon is set to play seven games, so like you, I hope we can stay fit and healthy. The first of these matches will be against the our old ‘pals’ Manchester United, so we will set up positions at Ashburton Grove on Wednesday the 4th of December and kick-off  at 8.15pm ( western European time)…

This is another one of those games that drags a Santa sack-worth of historical stats, facts, figures and memories of pleasure and memories of pain. But how will it play out this time? The Arsenal are on a good roll at the moment and Ruben Amorin having left Sporting CP, organised his new team well enough to thump Everton 4-0. A team like MU with such a history and with still a remnant pride concerning the old rivalry with us will want to prove a point; but we aren’t the underdogs going into this one. 

The Arsenal have been given a 65.8% chance of winning by those two calculate such matters and ManUre have only a 14.3%.chance. All global Gunners I’m sure are hoping for another five to add to the ten that have been scored in our last couple of games, and its sure been nice to see those goals meeting the back of the net, and it sure would be nicer than nice to go into this month by giving them a decent beating.

Instead of some kind of thrash around in memories and experiences in days and games of yore I thought it might be a time for a change, so he’s a joke that I hope makes you at least smile.

A Manchester United fan walks into a pub, and says “oh youre the new landlord, here, you’ve only just moved in?”.The Gooner Landlord says “yes I’ve made a few changes, we’ve got a grand opening night tonight, its going to be a big night and really busy, sandwiches laid on, we’ve got pool, we’ve got snooker, new fitted carpet, WIFI and all the Arsenal games on big screen TV, its going to be an Arsenal theme pub-we’ve spent a few quid here”.

So the ManUre fan says said “look pal, don’t get too busy, I’ve come in here for twenty five years,we’ve always had free snuff on the counter, you get some snuff on that bar,its a good tip for yer, I’ll be back myself in a couple of hours-and good luck with the opening night, all the best, even if you are a Gooner”.

The Gooner landlord thinks, “where the bloody hell am I going to get snuff when no-one sells it in this area?”. So he goes out and scrapes some dog shit off the pavement, and goes inside and dries it to a form similar to high- quality snuff and then puts it into a shiny silver box and places it on the bar.

The ManUre fan came back a few hours later and upon seeing the snuff on the bar says; “now youre talking!The lads will really appreciate this!”and proceeds to take a few good pinches, and exclaimed: “you have no (sniff) idea what (sniff) this will mean to the (sniff) lads in here!” and then taking a final nip of snuff, the United fan said to the Gooner landlord, “phoar, can can you smell dogshit in here?” and then immediately checked the bottom of both his shoes.

The Gooner Landlord said “there’s no dogshit in this pub, I’ve been cleaning for the last two weeks and like I said, its all new carpets!”

“Well  I can f*cking smell it” said the ManUre fan, checking both soles of his shoes again.”its getting worse and all, it f*cking reeks in here!”

At that point a Chelsea fan walked through the door,and the Manchester United fan said to him as he reached the bar,”Listen pal, can you smell dogshit in here?”

 “No” said the Chelsea fan sniffing the air of the pub,”well, I can smell it anyway” mumbled the United fan and goes back to his drink, and checks the bottom of his shoes for a third time.

Having ordered his pint the Chelsea fan spies the silver box filled with snuff on the bar, and takes a good pinch and snorts some up and then after a few moments turns to the ManUre fan and says: “Fk me! I tell you what pal, that snuff really clears your head, I can smell that dogshit now!”

Well that’s it, lots of bits and pieces that I’m sure have made you feel like going off and search for the  location of the Holy Grail instead of reading this.

Even so, here’s to a great game for us and lucky horses! 

COYG and keep on keepin’ on!

Mills

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44 Comments

OFF TO THE IRONWORKS!

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on November 29, 2024 in All Posts

Hello, and how are you?

Saturday the 30th of November at 5.30pm (western European time) sees the Mighty Cannon make its way east for a visit to the London Stadium and West Ham United.

I’m sure after the thrashing we gave Sporting CP last Tuesday, the team, club and fans all have a spring in their step as we head over to visit our cockney chums by the Old River Lea. Going into this game at the time of writing this we have a 65% chance of winning, but West Ham are a weird side and certainly won’t lie down and think of England when it comes to us, despite having a mixed season so far (they lie in 14th place) and especially after beating Newcastle. But we are at the potential beginning of a mini- renaissance, and a win will take us a step further forward to where we want to go, so hopefully we can build on what’s been happening in the last three games, and perhaps see some more quick-witted one touch football and more, more, more goals. But I don’t expect it will be easy and as years past have proven, any side can be the slippery banana skin, especially the old Irons?

Its amazing how football has become such a dominating sport. My Dad and Grandfather weren’t into football at all, although Dad did support the Irons for a bit. Mostly they watched Speedway and the Dogs over at Wimbledon Stadium. There aren’t any London Speedway teams now, the stadiums have gone, but pre-war and for twenty odd years or so afterwards it was an incredibly popular sport. Speedway riders were paid more than footballers.

West Ham had a stadium that could accommodate 120,000 people. The massive stadium was built by Archibald Leitch who as you know built Highbury, amongst an endless list of other stadiums and sported an Art Deco entrance that perhaps should have been preserved? Many football matches were held at the stadium but it fell into a poor catchment area and to this day holds the record for the lowest league attendance of only 469, which must have been an a strange experience in such a vast stadium?

Once they had arrived at the Wimbledon Stadium, overwhelmed by all the speedway sights, sounds and smells they would buy a cup of brickdust tea and a cheesecake, not the NY cheesecake, but the one with desiccated coconut on the top. We didn’t call it ‘London cheesecake’ as kids, just cheesecake-although our old Nan Mills, born in the Victorian era made the best brickdust tea. The last time I saw cheesecake was on Bovvy market pre- 2005. Still delicious. 

Sadly, Dads hero got killed at West Ham in the early 1950’s when the Dons were visiting, and he didn’t ever get over it. That accident wouldn’t have even happen now, so its even more sad. How many have died in life to pave a way for the safety for others? All those stadiums, fans, riders, competitions, wins losses and accidents and fatalities that were the mainstay of many communities, all (mostly)forgotten now. As mentioned before: fame, obscurity waiting?

I still like watching speedway, I’m not an expert or even mildly knowledgeable either concerning contemporary or historically aspects of the sport, but mostly its the summer Monster-sponsored international competitions I like to follow. Thing is I can’t stand racing of any kind as spinning metal scares the crap out of me, but in true hypocritical form I find speedway really exciting. Of course its changed considerably since the heavy cinder track and gas-goggle days of yesteryear. Its amazing how many other countries are really passionate about it too and how many fans travel from country to country to watch their team or favourite riders.

I started supporting The Arsenal back in the 77/78 season, and although my beard isn’t the longest here on PA, it is a bit grey. Yet after all this time, West Ham still represent something horrible to me: the team that beat us in the 1980 cup final. That boiling hot, uninspired, heavy- atmosphere day. In my mind I can still hear us being heavily taunted towards the end of the game by the West Ham fans: “he’s only a poor little Gunner feather all tattered and torn…” somehow they knew we weren’t going to get back in the match. And we didn’t.

What a season it was, playing all those games(70, a record that exists to this day)an exciting, fascinating, contradictory, heart-breaking season, losing both the finals and the Charity Shield, all those bloody semi-final replays against Liverpool, some of which were epics. Mind you the West Ham / Everton semis were great games too, we might just have easily have played against Everton in the final? I’m sure you guys have lots of your own memories and perspectives of that season and that FAC final? I still have all the programs from the semis lying in our cellar…

“Someone put the lights back on, I’ll love you till all time is gone.You haven’t looked at me, that way in years, but I’m still here.” (Tom Waits ‘I’m still here’)

Trouble is I can’t look at West Ham without thinking of that day. But this is totally illogical. Both clubs have changed, literally nothings the same, except the name? Loss is a part of football and there’s been so many highs since then that really it should mean little or nothing after all these years, but its strange how some games stick in your head more than others, and we carry certain memories and emotions with us until the day we die, illogical or not. Some you just can’t budge?

Anyway, here’s hoping for Wham! Bam! Thank you West Ham!

Well that’s it, lots of bits and pieces that I’m sure have made you feel like going off and collecting stamps instead of reading this tediousness.

Even so, here’s to a great game for us and lucky horses! 

COYG and keep on keepin’ on!

Mills

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GIVE IT TO O’NEILL!

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on November 22, 2024 in All Posts

Arsenal FC v Nottingham Forest FC

Hello, how are you?

Well, its dang good to be back and away from the interlull, a lull that witnessed, political and religious changes and scandal, managerial and player transfer speculation, half-baked jingoism, Trossard limping off, snows (of various forms) in November and the usual Victorian-styled propriety being shouted at us by various media outlets in reaction to that. However, much more important is that the Mighty Cannon is back in action, and on Saturday the 23rd of November take up positions at Ashburton Grove as they face up to Nottingham Forest at 3.00pm (western European time).

Our win prediction is 69.9%% and Forest 10.9%, that seems a bit wayward considering all things, but I can’t verify such figures. Only a few weeks ago this wouldn’t have been cast as a ‘top of the table clash’ but now it is. Fings aint wot they used to be! And with four teams (Chelsea, Brighton, Forest and the Mighty Cannon) all on the same stats except for goal difference, and scrapping it out for third place, Forest won’t come down to the Emirates to make up the numbers, and I’m sure they have some self-belief going into the game what with a wins against Liverpool and Newcastle this season.

It might not be tolerated too much but somehow, perhaps for some absurd idea of continuity, I am actually quite pleased to see the Forest revival. Obviously I wasn’t keen we lost in the FAC wearing the curséd white kit, but something has seemed lacking in the PL when Forest lurked outside of it, I feel the same for Villa.

“damn you and your ludicrous continuity!” said General Picton.

A friend of our family was a committed Forest fan and told us an amusing story years ago. He was at the City Ground watching Forest and close to him stood an irate Forest supporter , as the home side started to attack the oppositions goal, was overcome by the self-righteous belief that his sideline insight was necessary for them to score and started repeatedly screaming out instructions: “give it to O’Neill, give it to O’Neill!”

Eventually the ball was passed to Martin O’Neill, who then made a totally hash of the pass, and the supporter then screamed out: ” why the fk did you give it to O’Neill?”

Of course these days this is a very different Forest much revived from their initial re-entry to the PL where they’ve flirted with relegation but avoided her advances(only just). Nuno has done a great job just as he initially did at Wolves, injecting some espirito into the club, question is can he take Forest further than he did at Wolves?

Even though we came away feeling disappointed that we didn’t win against Chelsea, hopefully how we played might have restored a bit of much needed confidence? A win would sure put us back on track, a loss will mean life jackets all round to save us from drowning in the angry spittle of reactionary disappointment, and a draw will just create more frustration? I suppose much depends on whose injured and who isn’t? All of us in the Goonerverse are hoping for some champagne football and a hefty batch of goals. None of us are sure its going to happen, oh, the tyranny of hope!

Well that’s it, lots of bits and pieces that I’m sure have made you feel like going off and sitting on the kasi while you suss out the moon to escape its tediousness.

Even so, here’s to a great game for us and lucky horses! 

COYG and keep on keepin’ on!

Mill

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THE BATTLE OF STAMFORD BRIDGE, NOT 1066!

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on November 10, 2024 in All Posts

Hello and hope you’re doing well? Sunday the 10th of November will witness at 4.30pm (western European time) the Mighty Cannon hauling itself over to Stamford Bridge to take on Chelsea FC.

Let me start by saying I have (thank whatever there is to thank) no solutions or answers, I’m someone that Trotsky has condemned to the ash-heap of life (thanks). But to me losers questions are as important as winners answers in our strange existence and especially for our beloved Arsenal football club, and I’m sure the forces of flux and mutation agree with me, but that doesn’t make me right or wrong, nor is it my aim.

Mostly the grey clouds of unhappiness hover over our club, and hover causes bovver? Do we as human sometimes like to feel unhappy? Is it a case of focusing on we don’t want which indicates that which we do want? All forms of aggression and shouting are us reaching out somehow, for help? But as we are shouting out for help does this actually solve the problem we are asking for help with? It might make us feel a bit more happy -according to some psychological systems of analysis, anger on the psychological scale is a notch above depression, and often people will get angry to try and lift themselves out of their depressive state, obviously I’m talking about very mild depression and not some debilitating psychological state that needs a much more prescribed and long-term help.

How bad are Arsenal at the moment? Are we being evaluated on a shifting scale, that perhaps is more than one scale of judgement? The history of Arsenal, players individual ideas, fans, the media, social media, football history in total, and those scales of expectancy, ideas of success and failure, its an endless list of the subtle and not so subtle all from variable, relative viewpoints?

One thing that makes me sad this season is how close we keep coming to getting the results we want, close against Inter, Liverpool, City, you could make the case against Newcastle. I realise that in such a demanding world that close isn’t good enough, but I was conditioned in a demanding world too but at the same time less when it came to football, as there was no internet to vent spleen (for good or bad) and you just had to deal with loss and disappointment in another way. This might make me out of date, but can there really be any ‘out of date’? I feel highly skeptical of Boomer ideas of youth being ‘all knowing’ (life/relevancy ends at 40)and aged  being demented and irrelevant? Thought is thought and its ever changing, and doesn’t really go out of date as the whole of literature and philosophical thinking still stays important even if only as cause and effect, perhaps progress might not mean anything other than progress, any connotation of good gets lost in definition and in time keeps flip-flopping and changing: on and on?

And the Wenger shadow is a mighty one.

I recently saw Bobby Kennedy talking not long before he died, he seemed measured, polite and intelligent in his speech, unlike those in similar positions today, who seem to reduce everything to an ad hominem argument, which seems sort of nuts really? Of course the discussions of yore down the pub are now replaced by monetised You Tubers, and that makes me suspicious of anything that being said ( clickety click bait, staged armies of good and drama to show thy careth more than others etc)…and in reaction to all that I wrote this, as sometimes I find absolutist observances totally overwhelming and not ‘true’ or the whole picture. You too?

How can we tell what good or bad in the long run? If we lose on Sunday against Chelsea, then it will be the final nail the (pundit professed) coffin for Arsenal’s ‘title challenge’, but hammered by whom? Pronounced dead in November, yet in all competitions? But what if by losing, the pressures off and then we might be able to start regrouping? Of course I don’t want us to lose, and hope we are so fired up from the bullshit at the San Siro that Chelsea get a mauling. And even if we lose there’s no guarantee of us pulling it together, lets face there’s always pressure at a PL club, and with no escape. And I’m sure if we lose by some margin Arteta’s head will be called for? Who will be the available saviour to replace him?

 Is there any punditry/analysis in the world that can make a team pull together? It tends to be a private thing between the staff and players? Question is, can anyone’s blogs or YT shows actually help the club and players? How many even try? Blogs tend just to be people conversing back and forth and hence their lack of interest these days, but tv screen punditry can do massive damage, hence there massive interest these days and which ex-player is neutral or even correct? There’s no objectivity so that’s easy to cross off the list. Perhaps its a false premise to be the hindsight expert when the real experts are on the pitch faced with nano-second decisions? Its tough, when as a player the responsibility of multi-millions depend on you to swerve them away from agony and on to ecstasy, knowing that in that nano-second you can be a messiah or pariah? And then there’s the financial responsibility that comes as a player, for the self and others and the club.

Three weeks ago who would have suspected either Chelsea or Forest as contenders for the title race? In four weeks time will they still be there? Perhaps Arteta’s lost the dressing room, its too early for me to say, injuries and red cards( that haven’t been given universally in PL matches) don’t add up to the tribe of the lost dressing room, yet?

The difference between us and Chelsea is three goals scored. So why are they still in the title race and we aren’t? Forest are one point ahead are title contenders? And if we lose we will be one win behind Chelsea, so even if we lose why are they contenders and we aren’t? Of course that makes us three wins off the top spot(s), I don’t have crystal balls, if I did aside to being of great medical intrigue I might have a squint at the future, and I would expect mostly its not that which we think it will be?

My worry is, aside of the team not connecting, that we are walking around in some semi-broken victim mentality due to a hangover from injuries, injustices, red cards, adjusting to new players plus some losing self-confidence and us not quite getting over the line etc This can be rectified.

” oh my word, look up there in the sky, there’s a sus scrofa domesticus flying?”

” no, surely its a stratocumulus that looketh like sus scrofa domesticus flying?”

One last irritating point. What are linesmen looking at during corners, their iPhone? Bruno G grabs Saliba and hauls him to the ground and its no penalty, yet if this happens in open play then its penalised? So pulling players down is ok as long as its at a corner? Why is VAR not looking at it, too much to do? Of course if someone was watching there would be so many penalties that it would stop happening? Oh brother!

Well that’s it, lots of bits and pieces that I’m sure have made you feel like going off and sit on a hot beach with blue seas and blue skies and wandering what time is happy hour?

Even so, here’s to a great game for us and lucky horses! 

COYG and keep on keepin’ on!

Mills

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17 Comments

The Fans are Turning?

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on November 8, 2024 in All Posts

Good day one and all.

We got into the game against Chelsea this weekend in a weakened state, both squad wise and mentally. The mood is flat and the rampant optimism of pre season has retreated like the turning tide. We have been playing poorly, losing regularly and all hope of improvement and revival is pinned on one player returning. Yes one player, Martin Odegaard, is expected to turn the tide, well he’s a good player, but King Canute he is not.

Mikel Arteta has been at the helm for 5 years now, I think that makes him the second longest serving manager in the league. It’s a long time. The first two and a half years were diabolical really. Two 8th place finishes and dire paint by numbers football, where effort was king and technique seemed to have been pushed out and paid to leave for Turkey. However, despite people like me being critical and unable to see how a revival could happen, the board stuck with him and spent north of £700m backing him. Then low and behold, I, and many others had to consider that we had been very wrong. Suddenly , for 2 years we appeared to be challenging for the title. We were still spending like drunken sailors and it looked like we might continue on an upward curve and actually win the title this season. It was a magical time for fans, and Arteta was promoted to a position of demigod where any whisper of criticism was met with a salvo, nay a broadside, from his adoring worshipers.

Despite having been unable to sell players, some atrocious value when purchasing, even paying players to leave, due to the two “challenges”, Edu was also promoted to almost demigod status. Not much praise for Stan funding it all, but still, who cares? We had our very own dynamic duo, and they were going to sweep all before them. Marvelous.

But the warning signs were there, ignored by most, but there all the same. When we bought Jesus and Zinchenko, I said we couldn’t expect to pass City by buying their rejects, and expecting them to be our best players. Now, the two who were going to transform our professionalism, experience and technical levels, have morphed into anchors holding us back. So perhaps I was right?

He heart of a team is the midfield, we lost Xhaka and tried to replace him with Havertz, well he was awful in the Xhaka role. However, when Jesus got injured, he was asked to play up front, and luckily this work, in so much as the £65m no longer looked like flushing £ down the drain. The guy, Rice, who we had clearly bought as a 6, was asked to play as an 8, and that too, for a while seemed to work. But, the chickens have come home to roost.

The mood on twitter and other social media sites has massively changed of late. Now I know, people will insist that this isn’t a true reflection of the fans base, but it’s the only one we get to see. Those that had to be quite, for their own digital safety, have turned. It’s open season on Arteta, Edu has flown the coop and Jack has slung his hook as well. The gloves are off and we have gone from not tolerating any criticism of Mikel, to the very opposite.

It’s a pivotal time for the club and the fans, don’t let it turn into an ugly time.

I think Arteta has enough credit in the bank for us to hold off, but that credit is diminishing rapidly.

Pedantic George.

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20 Comments

A TRIP TO THE SAN SIRO!

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on November 6, 2024 in All Posts

Hello, and hope you’re well, despite the Arsenal blues, or is it more like how Holly G describes her emotions in ‘Breakfast at Tiffanys’: the ‘mean reds’? Anyway, red, blue or placid green, the mighty cannon makes another trip over the channel and onto the San Siro Stadium in Milano for a Champions League clash against Inter Milan at 8.00pm (western European time) on Wednesday 6th of November.

Obviously we go into the game with much negativity swirling around the club, but then that’s been the case for many years now.  I wondered if the outlets that make a lot of coin on the back of all this would still get their following if the Arsenal stayed mid or under mid- table or even had a flirt with relegation? Would they themselves even carry on? I’m not so sure, you? Trouble is, once you’ve been involved for a lifetime, yes we still have the pendulum of emotions but you still support Arsenal. If we got relegated, I would still support the club, even if we went out of all the football leagues, but I understand that other people have other fish to fry.

And despite playing badly I still think we were the the better side(whatever that might mean) and we were, at least, trying to find a way through the Geordie parked bus. In fairness to them, it was a great goal. On another day we might have converted our chances and come away with a win but still been disappointed with our style of play?

St. James’ might be a difficult ground for us in recent years but they lay in 12th at the start of that game so why was it being billed as a tough game, and this week being a tough week? Yes, Inter are the best of the three teams but Chelsea aren’t that great, not yet anyway. Has it been the case of playing the small guy psychologically? Are we sometimes fighting reputations and ghosts of seasons yore?

Are Timber! and Merino messing up last years system that was working pretty well? Obviously we are missing Martin but perhaps there are other factors at play, that we can only but speculate upon? I don’t know, but like you hope that the click happens again soon. I feel like trying to offer a positive perspective might just make things worse at the moment, so I’ll leave it there.

I don’t have any anecdotes from Milan, I did pass through and had to wait at the Stazione di Milano Centrale for some hours (sorry, but it left me cold), and lost my ticket, and discovered this not long before the train that was to take me onto the next stage was departing, which certainly got the old blood pressure racing! I do have some stories from Torino though, but maybe those will see the light of day if we play Juve.

Inter are sitting second in Serie A at the moment and have a 33% chance of winning this game according to those who predict such figures. In the CL we are 9th, Inter 7th, Aston Villa 1st. I’m not sure if those positionings actually indicate anything? Is this all really, not much different from the group stages and its the next round when things will look more interesting?

Our old friend Henrikh Mkhitaryan plays for Inter, as does Autriche Arnie who had a spell at Wham! Their manager Simone Inzaghi has a 58.39% win rate overall, and a 65.70% with Inter. The San Siro stadium (shared with AC) has a full capacity of just over 80,000, and as anyone knows who has witnessed football in Italia, it can get pretty noisy. We’ve only played twice before, won one, and lost one and that was back in 2003.

Well that’s it, lots of bits and pieces that I’m sure have made you feel like going off and consider using component form notation for vectors.

Even so, here’s to a great game for us and lucky horses! 

COYG and keep on keepin’ on!

Mills

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16 Comments

THE TOON!

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on November 2, 2024 in All Posts

Hail fellows, and well met! How are you?

Saturday 2nd of November at 12.30pm ( western European time) sees the mighty cannon take on Newcastle United up at St. James’ park. Aside of the early rise its sure to be a high octane clash? Unless its not. Anyway, its the clash of the ‘dark arts’ apparently, whoever came up with that crap I have no idea, somebody perhaps righteous in pen and pencil only? 

At the end of the 90’s my bruv was posted in his job from London to Newcastle and I was living half way between the two so I regularly went up there to see him. He’s got some hilarious stories taken from life in Newcastle and we had a lot of  great times there.

Anyway either on the first trip or maybe the second when it was all a bit unknown, we ventured out down into the town, and ended up at the Big Market. Of course we hadn’t a clue where we were so putting on my best southern accent I went up to these two women and said “alright, excuse me, erm, any nice pubs round ‘ere?”. The women looked at me in away in which implied I was either mad, a tool or from out of space, and she just said, whilst pointing each one out: there’s a nice pub there, and a nice pub there, and a nice pub there!”… of course the Big Market being a place with millions of pubs!

We got totally stitched up, it was really funny, our first run in with ye old dry Geordie wit. It still makes me laugh though.

Anyway, Newcastle are now mid-table (12th), but we know that St, James’ Park can be a cauldron fortress of difficulty, and many of us still feel a haunting from last years spiel? However one thing that struck me listening (or wasting my time?) to some outlets was the prediction that if Arsenal lose this game we are out of the race. Really?

On past results and analytics that might be the case, but who would have predicted us have a some tough draws (that feel like losses?)and not really getting into gear as much as might be expected? But who can truly see the future, all predictions are bets, and is last year this year? But really I’ve written this because what made me feel really sad, was that if a team in 3rd place is out of the title race in the earliest days of November then perhaps something is desperately wrong? What sort of competition is this and its bad enough with poor officiating but if only a financially well-oiled team can win the league each year, then surely its the times for new rules and regulations? What do you guys think?

But we have much to look forward to, we played really well against Liverpool, especially in the first half, and had a great game against Preston, Nwaneri’s goal was a delight. Saliba’s back and ready after his outing at Deepdale, Calafiori will not be, at the time of writing this there are hints that Big Gab will be back too. Who knows, on the rumour mill there’s even one about Paul Pogba turning up in January. Not sure how that one might work out…but I’m sure the analytical teams at Arsenal are on ze case.

Newcastle have been given a 29% chance of winning, by whom or what I have no idea.

Well that’s it, lots of bits and pieces that I’m sure have made you feel like going off and counting which tree has the most leaves to relieve the tedium of it all, except in autumn its not such a big deal.

 Even so, here’s to a great game for us and lucky horses! 

COYG and keep on keepin’ on!

Mills

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18 Comments

CLASH OF THE INVINCIBLES!

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on October 29, 2024 in All Posts

Hello! How are you, hope you’re doing well? Tonight at 7.45pm (western European time) sees the mighty cannon take the train (etc) up to Preston, Lancashire, to take on Preston North End in the second of our Carabao Cup games for the 2024/5 season.

So it’s back to Deepdale. I lived (suffered) on Deepdale road, albeit at the other end many, many moons ago. But in that time only managed to see PNE once, one year before I moved to Deepdale road and that was versus Tranmere Rovers, in the FAC 1st round, as all my other money was spent travelling down to Highbury.

I knew some people who were Tranmere fans (“oh Birkenhead, is wonderful, oh Birkenhead is wonderful, its full of tit, fanny and Rovers, oh Birkenhead is wonderful” -and despite their claims, I didn’t ever get over the Mersey to check out and see if it was true), and you could still pay on the door at the away-end so they persuaded us to tag along. The day was cold and grey, and the match no better and ended up a cold, grey 1-1 draw. Thinking we could sneak off pretty quick we decided to not bother with the police escort back to the train station, which was nuts, as we lived only a few hundred metres away from it.

Eventually we blundered out of the ground and stepped into one of the most bizarre experiences I ever had. The air became suddenly really thick and heavy, everywhere you looked there was hand to hand combat between PNE and Rovers fans, it was like the final moments of Custers Last stand. Time seemed to slow down and every move you made was as cumbersome as concrete and all you looked at was in slo-motion. There was no feeling of panic or danger just utter confusion as to what was playing out in this theatre of mass fighting.

We started to dodge our way through, and heard a voice behind us, the lad who I was mates with-who was pretty hard and always in fights himself, turned around and said:  “we don’t want any trouble”. The voice had a three month baby in his arms which he put on the floor and shouted “I’m trouble!”, so we realised there’s no compromise or discussion to be had here and legged it and Mr Trouble came after us for is early evening quarry but he was too slow in the end to catch us. 

We eventually caught up with the Tranmere fans and the police escort just as a hail storm of bricks and other missiles were trying to make contact with our heads, and the police saw us and laughed, asking us if we were being chased, we replied in the affirmative, and they said just join in the escort and don’t worry. You could see the PNE fans running along the terraced streets following the escort and I thought, “we’re going to get ambushed here”, but thankfully we didn’t as at some point they gave up the hunt. I  had always been sold that lower league games were full of bonhomie, meat-pies and camaraderie. Hello sucker.

I’m sure is a bit of kitty anecdote compared to that of true hard fighting fans but fighting doesn’t hold much interest for me, I’ve seen what it can do at close quarters, my sister in-laws father was booted to death at a party and my bruvs best mates father tried to kill his wife and the kids who harassed me on my paper round calling me a fkn little wnker week in week out (they didn’t get me riled though) ended up killing their mum. I worked with a guy who bit his wife’s lip off. Big laughs. So I’ll stay a kitty. Like Clint Eastwood says, macho is overrated. Fear, always controls people, making them bullies, verbally and physically violent, and their hurt loves to hurt others in multifarious ways. And anyone who calls it out or doesn’t want to be part of that is a kitty. Meow.

 PNE’s record attendance was against the Arsenal back in 1938 (42, 684). Their trophy haul is 1st Div Champs, x3, ru x6. FAC, won x2, ru x5. 2nd Div champs x3 rux2, 3rd Div champs x2, 4th Div champs x1 rux1 and one time runner up in the charity shield. Amongst all that was a league and FAC double.

Aside of both clubs sharing the Invincible tag. Proud Preston can lay claim to winning the double in their Invincible year and didn’t concede a goal on their route to winning the FA cup, but there were only 12 teams in their Invincible year of 1888/89, none of which were from the south, plus the FAC was 1st, 2nd, 3rd round proper, then semis! 

We both had attempts by suffragettes to burn our stadiums down, the attack at Deepdale was foiled, but at the old Manor ground in Plumstead the grandstand was burnt down to the cost of a thousand pounds. Later that year we moved up north to Highbury. Just for the record Liverpool are really proud of their Kop, but it was actually the Arsenal (at the Manor ground) that had the first Spion Kop. Thieves!

Their manager Paul Heckingbottom, has a 33%win rate at Preston, and a career total of 39.78%. Preston lie in 19th position at the time of writing this.

Well that’s it, lots of bits and pieces that I’m sure have made you feel like going off and doing something less boring instead. And I don’t blame you.

Even so, here’s to a great game for us and lucky horses! 

COYG and keep on keepin’ on!

Mills

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MERSEYBEAT 

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on October 26, 2024 in All Posts

Hello, and how are you? Sunday October 27th at 4.30pm ( western European time) will mean a visit to the southern realms by Liverpool FC as they take on the mighty Cannon. 

Liverpool, as you know are a team with such a vast and decorated history that needs no introduction, so I won’t give them one. There’s been endless exciting games between us both, but you know them already so I won’t go into any of it. Anyway, this ones a big fish to fry if we can, having sneaked up on the inside when nobody was particularly expecting such a manoeuvre, as the focus has mostly been on us and City, Liverpool are one point ahead. Plus I’m not sure anyone was expecting Slot to come and slot in to well, but it seem to have slotted in nicely. 

I didn’t know that a slot was also the tracks of a deer, which itself comes from the late 16th century from the old French esclot: ‘hoof print of a horse’ but might also be from the old Norse ‘Slóth trail’ compared with ‘sleuth’, apparently. Its odd that we often use ‘disgruntled’, but hardly ever says ‘gruntled’? “how are you today? “Feeling rather gruntled!”. ” What did you think think of the Arsenal performance today? Well, rather gruntled old boy!”. But then Liverpool fans call Arsenal fans cockneys, which is a massive insult to us and to cockneys, as I’m sure the Irons will agree.

Head to head it be: won 83 drawn 64 lost 9. Our first duel was back in 1893, and we lost 0-5, but our last outing was a nice 3-1 win. Slots stats are not worth analysing as he’s been at Liverpool for five minutes, however his over win percentage is 63.49%. Liverpool have been given only a 29% chance of winning this game, so looks like the Arsenal stand in good favour.

Well that’s it, lots of bits and pieces that I’m sure have made you feel like going off and the reading the ‘Complete history of concrete’, 2nd edition by F.R Van Moof 1953, to escape such dreariness.

Even so, here’s to a great game for us and lucky horses! 

COYG and keep on keepin’ on!

Mills

Good stuff Mills.

I don’t normally intercede in matters of previews, but this is a huge game and because the team has been gutted by injuries I feel I should point out just how difficult it will be for us to pocket the points. There comes a point where injuries and suspensions rack up to the extent that recent form and past results become almost meaningless. We have not been playing very well of late , with the favoured excuse being Odegaard’s absence. Well we could see White, Saliba, Timber, Calafiori, Saka, Zinchenko, Tomiyasu, Odegaard and worst of all Saka, all missing or at very least, some of them playing half fit and undercooked.

Due to these injuries Mikel will have to reshuffle the team which may see square pegs forced into round holes, Rice at CB for example.

Now I don’t want to be the harbinger of doom, but I have to admit, I’m worried.

So now I’ve spoiled your day, try to enjoy the game and I’ll see you on the other side.

Pedantic George.

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SHAKHATTACK!

Posted by pedantic George @arseblagger on October 22, 2024 in All Posts

Hello! How are you? Hope your all doing well, for the night of October 22nd at 8.00pm (western European time) sees the Mighty Cannon go all Shakhtari and receive a visit from FC Shakhtar of the Ukraine for a 90 minute dance to the music of time..

Our Mole/Miner visitors are currently 27th in the CL, having drawn and lost one and we are in 13th, winning one and drawing one so far, as you of course already know. Normally they play in Donetsk at the Donbas arena, but due to the conflict with Russia since 2014 they have re-located firstly to 1,000 km to the west and taken up home in the Arena Lviv back in 2014 and then to a stadium in Kharkiv. But have played cup games in Gelsenkirchen D-land. I’m not sure how that works out with their fans? They won their league last year and are currently 4th in the Ukrainian Premier League. And this is a team that likes to score goals and has a smattering of Brazilian players in its squad to add a touch of the old samba to the borscht.

Formed in the difficult days of April 1936 in the Soviet Union, from a mixture of mining communities, apparently a Shakhtar is a coal miner who works in a sub-surface shafted mine, and is a derivative of the word shaft. After the Great Patriotic war(WW2)  there were only three players left, how they coped with such a devastating tragedy I have no idea. In all they’ve notched up 56 years of professional Soviet football, and 33 years of professional Ukrainian football. They remain a popular side in that country.

Our old pal Henrik Mkhitaryan played for them back in 2010-13 (72 apps/38 goals).

They won the UEFA cup in 2009. Reached the SF’ s 15/16 and in 19/20. This is a team that participates regularly in Euro football, and has a tough reputation from the Soviet times and afterwards. We are head to head with them; won two, lost two, both times losing the away leg and doing the business back at our shed. Their coefficient rating is 63.000, sandwiched between Rangers and Eintracht Frankfurt..

The Kroty(moles) have won the Ukrainian league 15 times, the Ukrainian cup 14 times, Ukrainian super cup 9 times. The also won the Soviet cup four times.

Their manager is Marino Pušić with a 71% win rate, but alas have been given by somebody somewhere only a 4% chance of winning this game.

Well that’s it, lots of bits and pieces that I’m sure have made you feel like going out semi-naked into the street singing ‘hey nonny nonny’ to relieve yourself from the tedium of it.

Even so, here’s to a great game for us and lucky horses! 

COYG and keep on keepin’ on!

Mills

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