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TO THE HIGHBURY OF THE NORTH!

Hello and how are you?

Tuesday the 27th of October sees the Mighty Cannon take on League Two stalwarts, Fleetwood Town, in the next round of the Carabao/ League Cup. KO is at 8.00pm local time. Expected weather us 15° ( feels like 7°) and between 19 and 23% chance of rain.

Millions of years ago I was playing in a five aside tournament on a cold Saturday on the fields of Chaulden in Hemel Hempstead near to my Aunts house. We had a pretty good team and went to the semis. Every time we won, one of the lads Dads, shared out a load of sweets, from what seemed to be an inexhaustible supply. Trouble was the further we went, the less there were. At one point he said all Ive got left are Fishermen’s friends.

I didn’t know anything about them; I thought maybe they were some obscure import from Norway. Little did I know, they originated in Fleetwood Lancs, and are still produced there and distributed world-wide, when most other industries including North Atlantic fishing has fizzled out without much care or compassion. Most people internationally probably haven’t a clue where Fleetwood is but they know Fishermen’s Friends.

Ive never been to Fleetwood, but knew of it as I did a bit of work once for Preston Council collecting data from drivers concerning their destination( now they just use the data from social media), and all the names of those towns in that area; Cleveleys, Poulton Le Fylde etc are lodged in my head. Sometimes those lists of names come flying back in my mind for no explicable reason.

So, I spent a bit of time on Sunday wandering around the town on Google maps and reading on Wikipedia about the town, football club and their intertwining histories, which is one of the things that’s enjoyable about doing an article, finding out about your opponent and their history. Made me wish when I lived in that area that I had explored the coast and those towns.

This match is a potential banana skin for us, and the best night out ever for the Cod Army. And should they pull off a miracle, I won’t begrudge it any more than I did Oxford when they beat us in the early 80s, also in the League Cup. If we can’t be a bit generous (in the unlikely event of us losing) then what does it say about us?

Their stadium is called Highbury and they play in a similar kit to ours, white sleeves and red top. 5, 327 can squeeze into their stadium, and 941 Arsenal away fans are expected to turn up, so it’s going to be one surreal night. But (to me) games like this are what keep us away from the clutches of a bloated,monied, elitist super league (although the CL is that is shadowy form?), and to me, everyone deserves a crack on success and the cup competitions are better for it, and matches like this.

Fleetwood go into this having lost to Exeter and Cheltenham and currently sit in 18th position in League Two. They’ve beaten Chesterfield, Shrewsbury and Sheffield United to get to this head-to-head with us. The Fishermen have lost only once though in their last ten home games in all tournaments.

I’m sure there will be a shuffle around for us, Red Max and Marli will start with maybe the 18-year-old Harriman-Annous. Plus, the talented Mr Mosquera and The Zube will be able to get a look in. Anyway, we shall see.

I banged on Statto HQ’s Port Cullis, and they didn’t answer. Instead, from an arrowslit on the floor above down floated a parchment with the yards and perches inscribed upon it; Fleetwood Town FC have a 4.1% chance of winning and Arsenal FC, 87.1%.

Next up, it’s northward Ho! again for our next PL game, and part two of the Mersey sandwich, a late Sunday afternoon(got no mind to worry?) clash with Liverpool at Anfield. Till then, may your horses be lucky. COYG!

Mills

26 Comments

STICKY TOFFEE, SUBSTITUTE?

Hello and how are you? Saturday the 24th of October sees the Mighty Cannon host the bluer side of Liverpool, as Everton FC make a visit to the Emirates. KO is 3.00pm local time. Expected weather is rainy (98% chance) with temps at 11° but feels like 7°.

So, after seeing a much-improved match in mid-week against Bayern, the Gun (2nd) is back in action, this time against the Toffees (8th). A potential sticking point for the Gunners? Of their last four, Everton have won two and drawn two (in fact all three away games), but they haven’t managed the win at our barracks since 2021.

The Gunners have a tight-arsed defence and we’ve only let in five this season, plus one great element to our game is the depth of our squad, and our deadly substitutions. It was this fixture last season that Red Max scored the goal of a lifetime, and I’m sure this will be on his mind, as well as the home fans, perhaps he might feature earlier on though, what with Saka’s injury?

Missing in action for the Gunners are Misters Saka, Tzolis and Saliba.

Feeling the blues for Everton are, erm, none! Must be the first time that’s been said!

So, I was walking down the street and suddenly a carrier pigeon coming straight from statto HQ landed next to me and had the stats attached to its ankle. They read like this: Arsenal FC have a 67.4% chance of winning. Everton FC have a 12.7% chance of making it a three pointer.

Next up a League cup clash on Tuesday against League two’s Fleetwood Town. Till then may your horses be lucky. COYG!

Mills

18 Comments

BAYERN AND BALLYHOO!

Grüße me old Posi-drives!

So, today the 21.1026, The Mighty Old Cannon hauls its operation to face off with south Germans Bayern Munich, at the Allianz Arena, in the next of our Champions League clashes. KO is at 9.00pm local time and expected weather is cloudy with 98% chance of rain. Temps are 9° ( feels like 2°).

So, after the scrappy not-so-elegant fight off in the Forest we now head south and take on the Kane gang. Bayern are currently top of the Bundesliga, despite being unbeaten ( in all tournaments) however, they are tied on points with BVB, and are only one point ahead of two other clubs. Despite the 3-1 beating we gave them last year, we don’t seem to be as coherent as we could be, perhaps the loss of Martinelli and Trossard has affected us deeply? If we are going to see an Arsenal collapse then it could well be against the Bavarians.

But we have a good defence, Forest has been a tough hunting ground for us, for nearly a decade, and the CL doesn’t have the same shadow-hangover of corruption that the PL has at the moment, so who knows? Bayern are certainly not invincible as the Norwegian Viking FK showed us last time out, but we must keep are Guns pointed in the right directions as they also gave fellow Scandinavians Bod/Glimt a 5-0 thrashing.

Missing in action for the Gun, are Big Willie, Tzolis and Mr Hincapié.

Feeling the wurst for Bayern are, Musiala, Olise (suspended), Kimmich is a doubt, but probably will be back, as will be veteran goalkeeper Neuer.

I knocked on Statto HQs door and outpoured the odours of Himmel un Ääd, happy days with the Flönz they said. Give me the stats said I and they did.  Bayern Munich (12th ) 45.8% chance of winning, Arsenal FC (8th), by far the greatest team, the world has ever seen, a 29% chance.

Next up, the Gunners host Everton at the Emirates on Saturday for a 3 o’clock KO. Till then, may your horses be lucky. COYG!

Mills

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THE PL, THE CANNON AND THE FOREST!

Hoi! and how are you?

Sunday the 18th of October the Mighty Cannon meets up with Nottingham Forest for a PL clash at the City Ground. KO is at 4.30pm local time. Expected weather is, mostly sunny with temps at 13° ( feels like 11°) and 1% chance of rain.

After a decent performance against Lille, the Gunners hit the road jack and head up to the midlands for a wander in the Forest of Nottingham. It’s not been such a fortuitus ground for us in recent season, picking up on one win in six, so hopefully we can turn that one around today, especially as City are now tipped to win the league, which seems a bit premature and illogical considering pending outcomes, but I suppose people have to spill the ink and get those clicks in? Yawn.

Crocked for the Cannon are Hincapié, Big Willie and Κύριος Tzolis, and the Zube is looking doubtful.

For the Sherrif’s men, Jesus and Savona are out and not about. Doubtful be Gibbs-White and Milenkovic.

Statto HQ coughed up the autumnal stats and they read like this: Nottingham Forest (15th), have a 16.8% chance of winning. Arsenal FC (2nd) has a 59.2% chance of victory through moments of harmony.

Next up, clean up your Bier Steins and get ready to chomp on  Weißwuascht, for its a trip to Bavaria, as we take on Bayern Munich as the Alliance Arena in the Champions League. Till then, may fortune be your way. COYG!

Mills

23 Comments

LILLE OSC!

Hello and how are you? It’s a good job I woke up this morning as I’d completely forgotten the Arsenal were playing today. But play the Mighty Cannon does, as it hosts French wannabees Lillie in the next of our games in the Champions league.

KO at the Emirates is at 8.00pm local time, expected weather is cloudy with temps at 17°(feels like 11°) and 0% chance of rain.

So, having battled it out with Leeds, we now take on Lille, a club with not too much pedigree we might well imagine, yet they were French champions in 2021 and have been successful domestically since 2017.

However, they are riding high in the La Liga at the moment, and are currently in second. They’ve drawn with PSG (2-2) and lost to (here comes the )Nice, but for the rest of their games this season they have chalked up wins.

Arsenal are placed 15th in the Champions League table (having beaten Napoli as you recall well) and Les Dogues lie in 22nd  but these are irrelevant stats as having played a solitary game it doesn’t really give you any clue other than goal difference.

Crocked for the Cannon are: Saliba, Hincapie, Tzolis and the Zube. For Lille they are missing in action: Mbappe, Santos, Igamane and Perraud.

However, we may see our old friend Monsieur Giroud who played in the 1-0 victory against Le Havre at the weekend but he may sit this one out in place of Ayase Ueda, personally I think he will make a cameo appearance towards the end.

I made a visit to statto HQ and they made a pause from eating Coq au Vin, and scratched out the stats quick enough: Arsenal ( by far the greatest team the world has ever seen): 77.4% chance of winning, Lille (of La Belle Française): 7.9% chance of getting the points.

Next up a Sunday away day as we visit the Sherrif’s of Nottingham Forest. Till then may your force be with you. COYG!

Mills

19 Comments

A Come Back in the Come Back Game.

Good day all.

At half time I was ready to tweet ” We had better hope City get docked 20 points this season”, because we didn’t look at all good. Then when we went behind I definitely feared the worse. But of course I was wrong, the goal seeemed to spur the players, and thankfully our now mega rich manager, into action.

The players sped up, more first time forward passes and direct play. It went from Leeds looking the better team to us running all over them until the final whistle. It does beg the question as to why we had to wait?

Critics of our transfer window point to a lack of attacking quality, and it’s not hard to see how they have formed this opinion.

Saka is a million miles from the “star boy” of old, although I have to admit I’ve never seen him in the “world class” bracket that some elevated him to. His decision making has gone from excellent to poor, his greed is rampant and his pace has run away quicker than he now can. I’m not sure we will ever see his star shine brightly again. Noni is a level below what is required and Havertz is some sort of hybrid that seems lacking overall. now don’t get me wrong, these lads are not bad players, but I think it’s fair to say that they are not up to the level of our midfield and defence.

Overall , given the 3 week break and the disappointment of our last result, we can be more than satisfied with the outcome.

Pedantic George.

28 Comments

Leeds! Leeds! Leeds!

Hello and how are you?

Well, having swum through the greatest sea of skulduggery we’ve (perhaps?) ever traversed during the PL era, we get back to business (despite the fact the league can never be the same again) and host West Yorkshire’s boys in white, Leeds Utd. KO is at 12.30pm local time, and predicted weather is partly sunny with temps at 15° (feels like 14°) and between 2 and 3% chance of rain.

Despite all the Biblical scale revelations these last three weeks, the Mighty Cannon has still work to do, and as predicted many of our players limped home from the Charge of the international brigades, and we shall have to wait and see who can escape from the infirmary when Saturday comes. Certainly, we need a big and meaty bounce back after the debacle on the south coast last time out.

The facts and figures say we haven’t lost to Leeds since 2003 but it’s a bit misleading as they have been sunning themselves in other climes for some of that time. Leeds find themselves three places below and three points behind us, so a win for them is Christmas come early and for us it would be an early Halloween horror.

For the Yorkies, James, Rodon and Joseph are out and not about, whilst Bahoya and Wilson are looking like the unlikely lads.

Arsenal are looking much worse for wear;  Big willie is out for sure, whilst a cloud of doubt hangs over Declan, Messrs White and Mosquera, Konsa and Red Max (although he did train this week) are knocked about, and hamstrung are Kai and Mr Tzolis. Great! Unnecessary international games are just so thrilling, I can’t wait for the next ‘break’!

I knocked on the door of statto HQ and could hear them creating songs about Man City’s situation, a kind of version of the 49 undefeated ditty. Anyway, eventually they answered the door and handed over the stats: Arsenal FC (2nd), have a 67.5% chance of winning, and Leeds United FC (5th) have a 12.7 % chance of nabbing the three points.

Next up, Arsenal host Lille on Tuesday evening in our next Clash of the Titans in the Champions League. Till then may your force be with you. COYG!

Mills

34 Comments

Crash Landing.

Not such a good morning?

Right, cards on the table, it was a 3 PM kick off and I haven’t watched it, I didn’t watch MOTD and I won’t be watching the game. I listened to the coverage on the Arsenal website and that was enough pain for me, thank you very much. Even poor Adrian Clarke and Dan Roebuck couldn’t find a positive spin either during the game or afterwards.

It sounded like a 3-0 leathering with the score being reflective of the game.

Immediately following the game, people on social media drew their battle lines and rushed to their chosen trenches. It’s so predictable, you have to be either a loyal foot soldier and accuse anyone being critical of being “plastic” or the first negative result in was seems like forever, is proof that Arteta is a fraud and the team has holes in that a bus could be driven through.

I do have worries , Saliba apart, that starting 11 was as good as it gets, and it got battered. We have gotten off to to a fantastic start to the season, but in all likelihood we will find ourselves 3 points behind City following todays fixtures.

I did see Arteta after the game and he is both hugely disappointed and fuming. One thing is for sure, our manager understands the importance of every single dropped point and no stone will be left unturned in his pursuit to to endure that it’s a blip rather than anything more fundamental and serious. Well he has 3 weeks of mulling to come up with his answer.

One positive ,as I see it, is we can stop musing on whether the season to be “invincible”, this might just be the strongest squad we have ever had, but the best team it is not, and not only is it not, it’s nowhere near.

Ok, lets see what happens in 3 weeks time and not throw any babies out with any bathwater in the meantime.

Pedantic George.

19 Comments

DOWN SOUTH!

Hello and how are you?

Saturday the 19th of September sees the Mighty Canon (1st) move its artillery down to the south coast, as we take on Brighton and Hove Albion (5th) in the of our next autumn away days at the American Express Community Stadium. KO is 3pm (local time) and the expected weather is: 19° feels like 17° with force 5 winds.

Having beaten Ipswich in the C cup, we now take on a tough opponent. A side very much not to be underestimated, as Manchester united and Coventry found at their cost, they can be ruthless in front of goal when they choose. Fabian Hurzeler’s men are currently W2D1L1.

I hope we don’t go down there with too much hubris, as where there’s hubris there is nemesis…sure and steadfast, fire and skills boys..

Big Willie, Messrs White and Mosquera are out and not about for the Gun, Timer! is doubtful but who knows, I think we might see him for the showdown.

Hadjam took a knock against MU so he’s looking doubtful for the Gulls but Ferdi Kadioglu is likely to return. Azeez, Svoboda, Ferguson, Yohanna, Wieffer, Hinshelwood, Mitoma, Minteh, Tzimas are looking unlikely lads.

Statto HQ having returned from the cultural delights of Eastern Europe were now back at HQ, examining magazines showing the array and availability of new combine harvesters. Angrily they looked up and gave me the stats. The Southern Seagulls have a 20.5% of winning and Arsenal FC have a 55.2%.

Next up the infamous international break (21st-6th) where our plays get crocked for four months much to the delight of the hacks.

After that we host the irrepressible Leeds Utd for luncheon at the Emirates on the of 10th of October. May your force be with you. COYG!

Mills

25 Comments

LOOK EAST!


Hello and how are you?

Tuesday the 15th of September sees the Mighty Cannon move is current caravan of victories north and east to the plains of Norfolk and take on ye old Tractor boys of Ipswich Town at Portman Road, in our first outing in this season’s Carabao cup. KO is 8.00pm local time. Expected weather is 18° feels like15°, with between 0 and 2% chance of rain.

So, Ipswich Town, a club for those of us with grey beards, was once very powerful, both in Britain and in Europe. My first game back in ’79 saw us lose 2-0 against them, and I witnessed close hand the height and prowess of Thijssen, Butcher, Hunter and Arnie Mühren all at close quarters take us apart. Brian Talbot had left them and come to us after collecting his winners medal and the promptly won it again in our famous thriller against Man United. The FA cup was paraded around the ground before KO, and Paul Mariner would later join us some years later, but it was pretty much the team that shamed us in the ’78 final.

Under Robson they were a formidable force. Of course, it was still utter magic even though we lost that night. Incredible to think on 33,255 turned up that evening, and it was the opening game of the season! Giants and heroes of yesterday, are soon forgotten in the fogs of daily life. Fame? Obscurity waiting, well Carrie Fischer warned us.

Anyway, newly promoted Ipswich have had a mixed bag so far, this season, sometimes facing unlucky moments (Liverpool), and seem a side that seem difficult to predict; Ive seen them with a blunt attack that missed many chances, but then sharpen up and demolish Palace in style. One thing that was noticeable, if you take low shots at their keeper, he’s super vulnerable! 

They beat Leicester in the last round.

I’m sure Mikel will make a lot of changes for this one. White, Willie and Mosqerua are all crocked. But we probably shall see Big Vik back in action (give him some service, please!). It’s been a long time since we lifted this trophy (’93) and I’m not convinced it’s on our list this year, he said not offering any evidence whatsoever. Ipswich have never made the final, but have reached the semi on four occasions.

Statto HQ was closed as they had gone on a city break to Prague, however at midnight a carrier pigeon began tapping on my window and attached to its leg was a message: which read: Ipswich town FC have a 13.1% chance of winning, and the Arsenal have a 67.2% chance of victory hopefully through harmony.

Next up, get on yer All Mod Clichés and go hunting for extinct rockers,  as we take on south-coasters Brighton in our next PL game.

May your force be with you. COYG!

Mills