Andrew alerted me to a piece in the Independent last week. For those of you from outside of the UK the Indie is that rarest of beasts; a quality tabloid newspaper. It has featured some of my favourite ever journalists including Fergal Keane and the utterly peerless Robert Fisk who not only understand their subject but carry out proper research and present intelligent balanced findings in a coherent and well written manner. On this occasion Andrew didn’t link to an analysis of Rwandan genocide or one hundred years of armed imperial folly in Afghanistan, the piece he drew to my attention concerned Arsenal and their new defensive acquisition Gabriel Paulista. The headline read “Talented Brazilian could grow into world-class defender at Arsenal” and frankly, if looking a bit like Martin Raymond Keown counts in any way towards that then the accompanying picture suggested the lad is well on the way.
I wish I’d stopped reading then and there and returned to Twitter where I could have gone back to browsing photographs of Mike Wood’s latest beer du jour or read more of George’s attempts to reconcile the Israeli’s and the Palestinians and bring peace to the world. That man really is the Henry Kissinger of Twitter, the Ghandi between the goalposts isn’t he? Where there is discord let George bring harmony as St Francis famously said. I wish he could bring me closer to a loving understanding with sports journalists in the same way he brought Spurs and Arsenal fans together on Positively Arsenal the other day.
The Independent article was the usual tame journalistic froth in which sports writers excel. We didn’t learn anything much about the player or the transfer but right in the middle was this little nugget of nonsense, like a lexiconic landmine in a mundane path through an unremarkable paragraph it went off in my face causing me to spill soup into my moustache
“Villarreal’s scouting record in South America is as good as Arsène Wenger’s record for signing defenders is bad.”
Now there are two things happening here. Firstly, and perhaps most obviously, the journalist is deflecting attention away from Arsène’s role in spotting young talent by suggesting the real work was done by Villareal. As my children would doubtlessly say, meh. It’s the kind of lazy rubbish we all filter out when reading about Arsenal, but the other thing, the huge blatant lie that Arsène is crap at buying defenders stuck so deep in my craw that I barely finished reading and had to push my bowl of cauliflower and yellow split pea to one side – croutons and all. I know, I know these idiots have an agenda to feed Arsène haters as much red meat as possible until the lie becomes a cliché and the cliché ends up presented as a fact and the great man’s name gets dragged through ever more deeper mud; it’s their job, it’s sad, I hate it but I need to grow up and learn to live with it.
Before we play ‘Arsene’s great defensive signings down through the ages’ and ask which one is your favourite (and we shall, oh yes we shall play just that game) let us consider the crowning turd in the swimming pool which came at the end of the item and which we all know will be parroted by the anti Arsene brigade in various forms if for no other reason than it serves to deride our current defensive players.
“Arsenal may have found the defender for whom they have been looking for so long. One who loves defending, who rarely gets injured, whose leap gets him to most headers, whose stride carries him confidently out of defence”
In a nutshell the twerp writing this piece perfectly described both Lauren Koscielny and Tommy Vermaelen among many others. Obviously I am overlooking the nonsense about rarely getting injured, not only because it suits me so to do but because numbers of injuries cannot be predicted nor controlled and are usually caused by cowardly or corrupt officials allowing thuggish opponents free reign while they go about attacking our players.
All of which leads me back to the lesson which I should have learned a long time ago. Do not get involved in any transfer talk even after the signing has been made as we know nothing about any player and will not know anything of worth until they’ve had a run in the side, and for God’s sake do not ever under any circumstances read any published sports journalist. In fact, thinking about it, we don’t even necessarily know anything after their first or second runs in the side do we? Look at Francis Coquelin; his development so perfectly managed that when recalled he was in a position to astonish even those of us who already liked the lad. Cut out the off the ground, two footed challenges and I would even say I love him just a little bit. We didn’t know how good he could be, but now we’ve had a hint. The new signings we know nothing about.
What about today’s game. What, specifically, about our opponents, Aston Villa? Do we know anything of substance about them? Not much I’m afraid. I mentioned Brian Clough last week and like Clough’s Forest, Villa once did the impossible and won the European cup by defeating Bayern Munich in the final. Not many people know it but they also beat Barcelona in the Super Cup in the following season. Even less people know that Villa’s first ever match was played against a local rugby union team and they had to play the first half under rugby rules and the seco
nd half under football rules. Which is a bit like when we play Stoke or Chelsea except we have to play both halves under one set of rules while the opposition are allowed to pretty much choose which sport they’re playing depending upon whether they want to garotte our players or just break their legs.
Villa have had a few good seasons here and there recently, but then many teams do. There is often one pretender to the top four but they seldom mount a sustained challenge over more than one season. It takes an extraordinary manager to keep a team dining at that particular table year in year out, especially when you look at the prices on the menu and the money available to the stinking rich diners with their fat arses permanently ensconced in most of the chairs. This go around, though, Mr Lambert’s chaps are finding things a little tough. Three points outside the bottom three they are in an interestingly symmetrical relationship with our club. Their negative goal difference of minus fourteen mirroring perfectly our plus fourteen. They sit two places outside the relegation zone we sit two places outside the Champions League zone. Their name ends with an A ours starts with an A. The list is endless. Well OK so I was reaching a little at the end there but if the league placings mean anything then we should be winning this. Of course we all know anyone can beat anyone and it’s current form that matters not current league position. A glance at their recent form shows DWLLW which is as inconclusive as you can get but compare and contrast with our rather nicer looking LWWWW and I know which side I’d rather support. In fact the only thing bar an exceptional Villa performance which might mar our Sunday roasties and curdle the custard is a dramatic exhibition from the most influential man on the pitch when last they won at the Emirates.
I speak of none other than the diabolical and by now infamous Arsenal nemesis, the man aiming to dethrone Asmodeus Dean as the pretender to Beelzebub Riley none other than Berith Anthony Taylor, Prince of The Cherubim. In a breathtaking move that defies my feeble verbal attempts to encapsulate its myopic brainlessness, the man who proved himself beyond incapable on the opening game of last season gets the chance to destroy another good footballing contest this afternoon. It is an indictment of the standard of officiating in the premier league that we often worry more about the referee than the opposition players in the build up to a match but I’ll let you decide if it’s corruption or incompetence which steers so many officials to have such a disproportionately negative impact on so many of our games.
All I can say is take heart Positivistas! Look at who wielded the whistle and cards at the Etihad. If we can come through such an encounter with one of the worst referees in the history of the game they we can overcome both Villa and their twelfth man Taylor.
Now about that game I mentioned earlier. The man, who we are told is incapable of buying or spotting a decent defender, bought or raised, among others, the following. Can you pick a favourite?
Positively Arsenal 
really should have had a second goal by now
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walcott should have done better there
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How solid does Ospina look?
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We need to put our handles away.
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I can see I’m going to have to be patient with Walcott …
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Ospina looks very good steww – but of course, Wenger’s no good at defenders.
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Steww: “If Coquelin isn’t the answer then the answer must be something pretty amazing.”
According to Arsene, Bielik is an outstanding player.
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Gainsy – so we have a lot of options then. Some think Chambers future may lie in front of the defence, and there is our Capitano to come back too. Let’s not forget Flamini either.
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dkgÖÖnér – I’ve no problem being patient with Theo after the time he’s been out. He’ll get there.
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I Ramsey getting a lot of unwarranted stick on the web from Arsenal fans, is seems they just have to have a scapegoat to target, Walcott is also getting it too
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Ozillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll 2-0 great counter attack goal
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2-0 walcott intercepted the ball, fed it to Giroud who played it into Ozil’s path who tucked it away very well
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Did the Villa manager send his team out to play with a little bit of influence from his old club Dortmund today, higher up the pitch? I think so, not a reaction to conceding the first goal.
And so after a few half-chances Arsenal get a the goal on the counter! Minus Chamberlain and Alexis, Walcott & Ozil on the break. Another productive game for OG too.
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theoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 3-0 great finish
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remember the way Arsene’s teams used to counter attack at speed? We’re kind of seeing it again here .
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Ooooooooospina with the throw out following the Villa attack to Walcott to set up the goal, cutting in from the left.
Classic Arsenal goal.
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giroud hits the bar with a header from a cazorla freekick
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Rosicky on for Walcott, Akpom on for Giroud, about 20 minutes left
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Ozil’s not slow, this season he has some support. Even Giroud scoring after a run from the center circle *faints*
–
Akpom!
Rosicky!
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Fantastic bit of deeeeefending there from Hector
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Akpom wins a penalty
why is guzan not sent off
Cazorla lucky to score it, 4-0
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Santi nearly went through the keeper with that penalty. Too hot to handle.
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Flamini on for Ramsey, a little disappointed that Gabriel did not get brought on, 15 to go
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Of course Arsene doesn’t do tactics. So no way are we starting games sitting off the opposition and hitting them with fast counters. Can’t be, doesn’t happen.
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Another fine game for Bellerin and Coquelin. Mature, incisive and effective. But Santi has once again been a class apart for me.
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Oh and Monreal, the whipping boy recently for many has once again been very good.
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Bloody hell. Did you see that?
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Ratings
Ospina 7 – little to do but he was commanding
Bellerin 8 – getting better and better, and what an outstanding finish for his first goal for Arsenal, our fifth
Mertesacker 7 – never troubled
Koscielny 7 – never troubled
Monreal 7.5 – very good
Coquelin 8 – outstanding game
Ramsey 6 – worked hard
Walcott 7 – in and out game, but took his goal superbly
Ozil 8.5 – outstanding impact on the game, a goal, an assist and many great touches and passes
Cazorla 8 – kept his good form going, bit lucky to score the penalty
Giroud 7.5 – got the all important first goal
subs
Rosicky 6 – got in to the game right away
Akpom 6.5 – looked lively, won the penalty, unlucky not to score too
Flamini 5 – little impact
the quality of our goals and our general play was of the highest order
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now we could do with southampton losing by 2 goals to swansea
if Arsenal beat tottnum next saturday morning we’d only be 3 points off man city in 2nd
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DK @antwond1405 · 15m 15 minutes ago
“@THFC_Spurs Hoping Alexis isn’t fit today so we can finally see just how big of a one-man team Arsenal are”
This turned out well
Bellerin became our 19th scorer in the league this season, one man team my arse
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@ Eduardo, you just wrote what was on my mind! LOL… Some on Fabianski and the Swansea lads.. You know you need the points and the goals diff…..
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Walcott @FeoWalcutt · 6m 6 minutes ago
Ozil 1 goal 1 assist
Giroud 1 goal 1 assist
Cazorla 1 goal 1 assist
Walcott 1 goal
Bellerin 1 goal
Ospina clean sheet
Alexis FC
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Lets hope Coquelin and Akpom sign their new contacts this week
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I cannot recall a defensive midfielder that just, intercepts so well and mops everything up as well as Coquelin. Makalele?
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Eddie
Coquelin has signed for four years I believe
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Georgaki – Mascherano?
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A big thank-you to Theo for rewarding my patience so quickly.
Alan Smith gave MoM to Mesut but it was close for me between him, Santi and Coquelin. Bellerin is also settling in very well – he is so fast, he gets to balls he has no right to reach and his recovery is so good, it means he can risk being further up field.
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Good result today, it’ll soften the blow regarding Next Week
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@ Yido… Soften the blow for you guys right? cos no looking back for us… we are in need of a few proper wins to properly reposition us goal diff and all…
On top would be nice lets do to others what have been done to us for a few years now… Come from behind to win the PL
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The media Arsenal story line of can we score & win without Alexis has now been shelved.
Today was another great team showing. I’m going to be watching the reruns of our goals, assists & defence breaking up their attacking play for a few days. I loved it!
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Light hearted banter my friend
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@ Yido… same here.. Obviously derbies are derbies and unpredictable… so looking forward to it as usual with a natural expectation of a win for my team LOL
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My man-of-the-match is Santi Cazorla. Far more influential than Ozil operating from CM attacking and defending. Great, great talent.
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Perhaps Shotta, but Mesuts moments of magic led to goals.
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There isn’t a fag paper separating Mesut, Santi and Tomas. Its a great time to watch Arsenal.
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Fantastic Manager, an extremely organized well run football club didn’t notice many boo boy’s today football doesn’t need it
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Plus Ramsey when he gets near his top form. Like I said a couple of weeks ago this isn’t a time to slate players who aren’t performing as well as others who are red hot right now, but to simply salivate over the quality in the squad.
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My belief that we can progress beyond Monaco is sky high right now!
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We will tested by Kane next week…
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I thought Mesut was outstanding today. Put a gun to my head and I’d say Santi was the best player on the pitch but personally I loved Coquelin’s performance. Far far more than a big tackling beast so many think we need, he has grace and composure under pressure and a fine range of crisp passing.
I could not fault him.
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