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Heroes and Villans

paulistaarse_3181057bAndrew alerted me to a piece in the Independent last week. For those of you from outside of the UK the Indie is that rarest of beasts; a quality tabloid newspaper. It has featured some of my favourite ever journalists including Fergal Keane and the utterly peerless Robert Fisk who not only understand their subject but carry out proper research and present intelligent balanced findings in a coherent and well written manner. On this occasion Andrew didn’t link to an analysis of Rwandan genocide or one hundred years of armed imperial folly in Afghanistan, the piece he drew to my attention concerned Arsenal and their new defensive acquisition Gabriel Paulista. The headline read “Talented Brazilian could grow into world-class defender at Arsenal” and frankly, if looking a bit like Martin Raymond Keown counts in any way towards that then the accompanying picture suggested the lad is well on the way.

I wish I’d stopped reading then and there and returned to Twitter where I could have gone back to browsing photographs of Mike Wood’s latest beer du jour or read more of George’s attempts to reconcile the Israeli’s and the Palestinians and bring peace to the world. That man really is the Henry Kissinger of Twitter, the Ghandi between the goalposts isn’t he? Where there is discord let George bring harmony as St Francis famously said. I wish he could bring me closer to a loving understanding with sports journalists in the same way he brought Spurs and Arsenal fans together on Positively Arsenal the other day.

The Independent article was the usual tame journalistic froth in which sports writers excel. We didn’t learn anything much about the player or the transfer but right in the middle was this little nugget of nonsense, like a lexiconic landmine in a mundane path through an unremarkable paragraph it went off in my face causing me to spill soup into my moustache

“Villarreal’s scouting record in South America is as good as Arsène Wenger’s record for signing defenders is bad.”

Now there are two things happening here. Firstly, and perhaps most obviously, the journalist is deflecting attention away from Arsène’s role in spotting young talent by suggesting the real work was done by Villareal. As my children would doubtlessly say, meh. It’s the kind of lazy rubbish we all filter out when reading about Arsenal, but the other thing, the huge blatant lie that Arsène is crap at buying defenders stuck so deep in my craw that I barely finished reading and had to push my bowl of cauliflower and yellow split pea to one side – croutons and all. I know, I know these idiots have an agenda to feed Arsène haters as much red meat as possible until the lie becomes a cliché and the cliché ends up presented as a fact and the great man’s name gets dragged through ever more deeper mud; it’s their job, it’s sad, I hate it but I need to grow up and learn to live with it.

Before we play ‘Arsene’s great defensive signings down through the ages’ and ask which one is your favourite (and we shall, oh yes we shall play just that game) let us consider the crowning turd in the swimming pool which came at the end of the item and which we all know will be parroted by the anti Arsene brigade in various forms if for no other reason than it serves to deride our current defensive players.

“Arsenal may have found the defender for whom they have been looking for so long. One who loves defending, who rarely gets injured, whose leap gets him to most headers, whose stride carries him confidently out of defence”

In a nutshell the twerp writing this piece perfectly described both Lauren Koscielny and Tommy Vermaelen among many others. Obviously I am overlooking the nonsense about rarely getting injured, not only because it suits me so to do but because numbers of injuries cannot be predicted nor controlled and are usually caused by cowardly or corrupt officials allowing thuggish opponents free reign while they go about attacking our players.

All of which leads me back to the lesson which I should have learned a long time ago. Do not get involved in any transfer talk even after the signing has been made as we know nothing about any player and will not know anything of worth until they’ve had a run in the side, and for God’s sake do not ever under any circumstances read any published sports journalist. In fact, thinking about it, we don’t even necessarily know anything after their first or second runs in the side do we? Look at Francis Coquelin; his development so perfectly managed that when recalled he was in a position to astonish even those of us who already liked the lad. Cut out the off the ground, two footed challenges and I would even say I love him just a little bit. We didn’t know how good he could be, but now we’ve had a hint. The new signings we know nothing about.

What about today’s game. What, specifically, about our opponents, Aston Villa? Do we know anything of substance about them? Not much I’m afraid. I mentioned Brian Clough last week and like Clough’s Forest, Villa once did the impossible and won the European cup by defeating Bayern Munich in the final. Not many people know it but they also beat Barcelona in the Super Cup in the following season. Even less people know that Villa’s first ever match was played against a local rugby union team and they had to play the first half under rugby rules and the secoCharlie-Adam-Alexis-Sancheznd half under football rules. Which is a bit like when we play Stoke or Chelsea except we have to play both halves under one set of rules while the opposition are allowed to pretty much choose which sport they’re playing depending upon whether they want to garotte our players or just break their legs.

Villa have had a few good seasons here and there recently, but then many teams do. There is often one pretender to the top four but they seldom mount a sustained challenge over more than one season. It takes an extraordinary manager to keep a team dining at that particular table year in year out, especially when you look at the prices on the menu and the money available to the stinking rich diners with their fat arses permanently ensconced in most of the chairs. This go around, though,  Mr Lambert’s chaps are finding things a little tough. Three points outside the bottom three they are in an interestingly symmetrical relationship with our club. Their negative goal difference of minus fourteen mirroring perfectly our plus fourteen. They sit two places outside the relegation zone we sit two places outside the Champions League zone. Their name ends with an A ours starts with an A. The list is endless. Well OK so I was reaching a little at the end there but if the league placings mean anything then we should be winning this. Of course we all know anyone can beat anyone and it’s current form that matters not current league position. A glance at their recent form shows DWLLW which is as inconclusive as you can get but compare and contrast with our rather nicer looking LWWWW and I know which side I’d rather support. In fact the only thing bar an exceptional Villa performance which might mar our Sunday roasties and curdle the custard is a dramatic exhibition from the most influential man on the pitch when last they won at the Emirates.

anthony taylor demonI speak of none other than the diabolical and by now infamous Arsenal nemesis, the man aiming to dethrone Asmodeus Dean as the pretender to Beelzebub Riley none other than Berith Anthony Taylor, Prince of The Cherubim. In a breathtaking move that defies my feeble verbal attempts to encapsulate its myopic brainlessness, the man who proved himself beyond incapable on the opening game of last season gets the chance to destroy another good footballing contest this afternoon. It is an indictment of the standard of officiating in the premier league that we often worry more about the referee than the opposition players in the build up to a match but I’ll let you decide if it’s corruption or incompetence which steers so many officials to have such a disproportionately negative impact on so many of our games.

All I can say is take heart Positivistas! Look at who wielded the whistle and cards at the Etihad. If we can come through such an encounter with one of the worst referees in the history of the game they we can overcome both Villa and their twelfth man Taylor.

Now about that game I mentioned earlier. The man, who we are told is incapable of buying or spotting a decent defender, bought or raised, among others, the following. Can you pick a favourite?

Sol-Campbell-001 Sylvinho-001 Per_Mertesacker_2662132b monreral lauren_203 koscielny1 jenks gibbo gael BAC Ashley Cole William-Gallas-001 verm toure-02_1840086i

About steww

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bass guitar, making mistakes, buggering on regardless.

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173 comments on “Heroes and Villans

  1. Superb young Stew, quite superb.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Young. Hah!

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  3. Georgaki-pyrovolitis's avatar

    Steww

    More please, please some more, and while you are at it prepare even more….

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Georgaki-pyrovolitis's avatar

    Strange events in the Blackburn area…….

    https://mobile.twitter.com/thesundaysport/status/292916187392790528

    Did the doomers really drive PG to this?

    Liked by 4 people

  5. fantasic again Steww although as I regard you and your literal prose in the higher echelons I am going to moan about the lazy title.
    Robert Fisk is indeed the best and most honest journalist of the last couple of decades, but from a sporting point of view Patrick Barkclay tops the bill who the indi also had.
    Although Gibbs and cashley were given their chance by Arsene they wern’t his finds but anyway enough of picking holes once again it was a brilliant preview that sets the game up perfectly.
    A couple of other things people dont know about Villa is their last league winnning squad was, if I remember correctly, fourteen players the smallest since subs were introduced. Also their current kit with the light blue sleeves is a another different set of colours in the Arsenal style first introduced by Herbert Chapman when the players wore a white shirt with red sleeveless jumpers over the top.
    I am a little worried about villas decent record at the emirates after being the first club to score there and also coming away with results they never really deserves.
    With the ref today I think its important for the crowd to get on his back as soon as possible so to highlight ever single error or should I say deliberate misjudgement.
    It is important to keep the momentum going today and to keep up with those teams who won yesterday a solid performance should do it however villa are strong at the back and getting better going forward.

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  6. Thanks Steww. Peerless stuff, and I enjoyed the fun and games. Interesting that you don’t mention the players we will be without this afternoon through injury: Alexis, Oxlade, Welbeck, Wilshere, Debuchy spring immediately to mind, and yet not even a passing glance. And yet we are led to believe that Chelsea were mightily disadvantaged, almost unfairly so, by the lack of Fabregas and Costa yesterday. So much so, in fact, that they spent most of the afternoon on the back foot, cravenly protecting their five point lead. But enough of them and their ilk. On to this afternoon, and a game that I have been dreading ever since I saw Taylor’s name flashing obscenely on the horizon. Will it be get the guests, or get the hosts that he will play?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. TR7 currently leading the January goal of the month comp for those who want to vote http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/20150129/january-goal-of-the-month-vote-now

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  8. I must confess to being gravely offended by the arrogant refusal of Jose Mourihno to fulfil his contractual obligations to rights holders before and after yesterday’s borefest at the Bridge.

    The PL must act swiftly and decisively against this outrage.

    Deduct one point for each press conference the clown misses.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. You are right about AV’s record at the Ems AoB.

    Only one point behind the red Mancs and Chels.

    Even allowing for the Taylor factor that is baffling

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  10. Lovely stuff Stew,only Anthony Taylor can stop us today surely?

    Liked by 4 people

  11. i think games like this and middlesborough are harder games than alot of fans think we will have to be on our metal. individual excellance the media craves is not as important as team performance and the unsung will be significant.

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  12. As others have already tabled… Marvellous stuff Stew. Cheers.

    Am thoroughly looking forward to finishing this comment as I will then drag myself out of bed (worked til midnight ) and then breakfast, shower, taxi, train, walk, pub, chat, pis staking and general malarky with friends, walk, Emirates, watch comfortable multi goal victory (very positive vibes from me today) walk, pub, more malarky and post victory shenanigans , tube, train, taxi, home, cup of tea, bed. UTA!

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  13. Wonderful stuff Stew.
    Just looking through last nights comments I saw this
    “Yido6061
    January 31, 2015 at 11:23 pm Edit
    Arsene Wenger, and thus by association Arsenal, is a specialist in failure. I know this because Jose said so. This truth does not of course consider the fact that Wenger is the Premier League’s most enduring manager. Nor does it take into account Wenger’s haul of trophies during this period in Arsenal’s history. And as for the reality that the club had to make repayments on a new stadium whilst Chelsea and Manchester City were financially and cosmetically transformed into Godzilla-like mutations during this time, is something that should be conveniently filed away in the recesses of memory. No, the fact is that when Jose speaks, we must accept. We must submit to his belligerence. It’s inescapable. Like morning breath. This is how the narrative must follow. Once those words left his lips, it was inevitable that they would be used to mock Arsenal’s next significant defeat. It’s become clearer as Chelsea have moved to the Premier League’s summit, that he had been merely playing an elaborate game of bluff. His personal attacks on his rivals over the last month or so have been as acidic as they have ever been, if not worse. And he uses these barbs to great effect because he clearly has friends and admirers in the media who hang on his every poisonous utterance. This is a man who is prepared to win at all costs, however ugly. In fact, he’s probably worse than his original Stamford Bridge incarnation, because he clearly doesn’t have anything to prove this time around. But he nevertheless persists. Goading, prodding, mocking. As a result, I’m going to go so far as to suggest that Chelsea will be Champions in May. Why? Because the Premier League, like any other story fits into a genre. And a genre is reliant on repetition. We all instinctively understand the basic conventions and have clear expectations. When Roman eventually and inevitably calls time on Mourinho, it will be a blessing for all concerned.”

    This is from a Spurs fan ! It confirms 3 things to me.
    1) Yido is the smart eloquent man I thought he was and is an asset to our little home.
    2) Despite the best effort of the media and many of our own fans, intelligent fans can see though the bullshit and come to correct conclusions..
    3) I was right to have no hate for Spurs fans,

    Liked by 5 people

  14. Hear, hear Steww. Regrettably it is no longer surprising to read or listen to the British media’s daily smearing of Arsene Wenger using a combination of outright lies and half truths. It is not merely red meat to the militant WOBs but grist for those who decry Wenger’s leadership in transforming English football from a game of thugs kicking lumps out of each other to a game based on skill and intelligence. That is why one can often read or hear so many English pundits and coaches railing with anger and nostalgia that “you can’t tackle anymore”. This is often after a two-footed studs up challenge has rightfully earned a red card.

    By the way The Independent you once knew no longer exists. In 2010 ownership was taken over by a Russian oligarch, Alexander Lebdeved,who profited from the break-up of the Soviet Union. Interestingly he is one of those oligarchs who has been brought to heel by Putin. The irony is Putin is now demonized in the west, while monarchs like the late King Abdullah who behead thead their subjects and deny them basic human rights are lauded by western leaders like David Cameron.

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  15. a or b. I didnt say he bought them all.

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  16. steww, maybe the best you’ve ever written. most enjoyable, thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. anicoll5. Will you be using your new set of keys in the morning?

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  18. I have my head under the bonnet at the moment – shall I do a little tidying – your friend yorkie for example ?

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  19. I will take that as a “yes”

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  20. PG, that post has no place on here… it should be a post all on its own because of the amount of content included, again another well written piece.
    Shotta,
    Although the Independant has changed ownership but alot of the staff remained afterwards and as a result it has not massively changed.

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  21. I particularly enjoyed this line from Rod Liddle in this morning’s Sunday Times;

    “Huth is in trouble for the stuff that increasingly gets a lot of people into trouble — comments on Twitter. We are surely approaching the time when managers will ban their players from utilising this conduit for the (usually) vapid and inane. Out there in cyberspace is a moronic inferno whipped up by people determined to be outraged, legions of single-issue pressure groups manically insistent upon their cause and a perpetually angry tranche of the Great British Public that yearns to punish someone for saying something with which they might disagree and to which they gratefully take grave offence.”

    Usually Liddle is a bit of a pillock but he hit the target this time.

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  22. Steww, yeah I know i had just got out of bed and was being abit picky.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. A5, why on this occassion we can see the merit in liddles comments remember being his job is in a dying medium and he has every reason to hate twitter,facebook etc, etc

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  24. just re-read all the comments and looking at mine i seem to have woke up with a doomers head on, I apologise and iam going for a poo in the hope that makes a difference

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Ospina
    Bellerin Mertesacker Koscielny Monreal
    Coquelin Ramsey
    Walcott Ozil Cazorla
    Giroud

    subs
    Szczesny Chambers, Gabriel, Gibbs, Flamini, Rosicky, Akpom

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  26. Amazing, thanks Steww.

    Last time at home to Villa we had Wilshere and Ramsey trying to manage CM and Taylor’s tilting. As we saw it was only this season and towards the end of last year inbetween some minor injuries that Wilshere was regaining his top fitness and form and some more consistency before he was hacked off the park again, and it’ll take him a little while to regain those levels.

    Team selection given the injuries is as expected. Interesting game today for Coquelin against a biased referee in midfield, Ramsey needs a smart game too. Unless Taylor like Smeagol/Dean has decided to try and cover his arse after Hackett’s recent attack on these blatant cheats. We shall see.

    *Dean at his finest. Taylor dreams of being so accomplished (less obvious) but he is too stupid to even be close to being as subtle.

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  27. we have very defensive heavy subs today

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  28. Well spotted, Stew. I also read that little line about Wenger being bad at buying defenders and was equally as baffled by it as you were. No one picks on Ferguson for buying shit midfielders like Anderson and Djemba Djemba.

    My favorite defender Wenger has ever bought is Koscielny. I also have a huge admiration for Pascal Cygan, who went on to have a very good career at Villarreal after we sold him. Oh, and I can’t forget my main man Eboue. One of the best right backs in the game when we had him.

    Tricky game today. Villa turns in good performances when you least expect them to.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Interesting comments on Coquelin from the Alan smith interview: Coquelin had a spell there where he saw himself as a m ore attacking midfielder. Part of the success of his brief loan at Charlton seems to be a stronger desire to play the deeper role. Certainly in one or two under twenty one games early on in the season he was not as focused as he now appears. Fascinating to see how he gets on for the rest of the season.

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  30. Ah, wonderful stuff as always, Stew. We’ll see how long it takes my lovely husband to realize he’s been mentioned on the famous PA blog. I’ll give him until afternoon to catch it on his own before I tell him.
    Is no one playing the pick your favorite defender game, then? I’ll give it a go. It is always my tendency to live in the moment, nostalgia not really being my thing, so I’ll admit to a soft spot for Kieran Gibbs. Who I see finds himself on the bench today. Along with two (two!) other defenders, including our new boy. When was the last time we saw three defenders on the bench? Things are looking up on that front. Except for Woj, bless his heart. He’ll be fine, though. That boy is a fighter, he won’t give up.
    Come on boys, settle this in the first half, before I have to leave for church, ok? Stupid Sunday games…

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  31. Even with the absentees Little Mozart and AKPOM can cause these cloggers problems off the bench. More interesting will be to see how Coquelin handles the Villa counters, and how much support he gets from Ramsey and others!

    Come on the Arsenal

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  32. Favourite defender? Well Koscielny does play like the footballer I dreamed of being once upon a time…he’s quite good. And quick too!

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  33. Daniel Arsenal Cowan @thedanielcowan · 3h 3 hours ago
    Anthony Taylor is an anagram of “Ah Loony Tyrant”

    Daniel Arsenal Cowan @thedanielcowan · 3h 3 hours ago
    Anthony Taylor is also an anagram of ‘Thorny Anal Toy’

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Podolski was played as the main striker by Inter today, he was taken off after 55 minutes with them losing 2-0

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  35. if you look at the bench individually it may look defendsive however if you think about how you could shuffle the team around rather than just one for one swaps the subtitutions can still be very aggressive COYG

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  36. I hope Santi keeps his place in the middle.

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  37. had to laugh at the sunday supplement today on sky, firstly saying defenders like Monreal were a long term plan and might become good defenders, but we need defenders now, then to cap it off they said we need a DM like alex Song, the same guys used to say he was not nearly good enough when he was our DM, it seems a stint on the Barca bench and the occasional good game for West Ham has turned him into a world class DM. When you listen to the views of these journos on the Sunday Supplement it really explains why they write such bullshit so much of the time, its cos they really don’t have a clue about football.

    Liked by 1 person

  38. well thank God for that, the cameras and the commentators captured the key bit of the early part of the game, Wenger putting on his coat, what would we do if that key moments was missed. Do they think this is toddlers TV or something.

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  39. Oh my what a start!

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  40. giroud makes it 1-0 after 7 minutes, he almost messed up the chance with poor dribble but recovered to finish it very well

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  41. eduardo – the zip thing is entirely deliberate. They are feeding into the Wenger as bumbling old man script.

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  42. I notice that ex Arsenal man Scott Marshall is part of the Villa management team now

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  43. Shame Theo interrupted that pass to Mesut – he would have been through.

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  44. we are 1 up but really should be 4 or 5 up we have had that many good chances, but have not been sharp enough so far

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  45. I know steww, its such a shame to see lee dixon be part of this nonsense

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  46. If Coquelin isn’t the answer then the answer must be something pretty amazing.

    Liked by 2 people

  47. A few players out there look like they haven’t played much this season. There is of course a perfectly good reason for that but we’re doing ok.

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  48. Ozil goal wrongly ruled out for offside

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  49. Love the way we’re attacking today. beautiful.

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