Today a guest post from La Gooner Vida
Morning Gooners! The lads face the daunting task of being bored to death by a posse of lack-wit Neanderthals up north today. The media would have us believe that their trainer Hughes has inspired some sort of revolution at the club. I for one beg to differ. Hughes hasn’t done more than raise the average IQ at the club to double digits. Stoke still stick to their medieval brand of football just like flies to honey.
“Stats” and “journalists” claim that Stoke have adopted a different approach to football, owing to the fact that they are no longer at the bottom of the pile in terms of passes made and average possession. I decided to put this laughable theory to test. So I prepared myself for 270 minutes of torture and perhaps even….. death. I bid my loved ones goodbye as I sat down to review Stoke’s last 3 games.
Strapped to my chair (lest I run away from my fate), I prepared myself to be bedazzled by the Potters’ sublime skill and excellent attacking prowess. BOY was I surprised (NOT). Stoke are the same Goddamn hydra but with a different head.
Let’s start off with their attacking movements. They are boring and they’re slow. They don’t possess too many passers or dribblers in the side and hence they still go for their old formula of utilising set pieces and throw ins to the fullest. When they do somehow manage to get the ball up in open play ( and after recovering from their surprise), they opt for hopeful long range shots or opt for punting the ball into the box from the wings and hope that some random tall guy will bundle the ball in. Their attacking midfielder looks to make late runs into the box as well as tries to get his head to crosses. Oooh. Exciting football. Revolutionary.
Well surely they’ve changed off the ball? “Esteemed” footballing minds cannot be mistaken y’know? They have blogs! They have their own frikkin columns in “reputed” publications. Well, I’m sure you can guess where this is going. Stoke defend with 10 men. I wonder why they just don’t throw in the 11th. Their striker stays up the pitch ready to hold the ball up, while the rest of his team move up the pitch. How novel. In terms of organisation, the Potters aim to defend in the proverbial ” two lines of four”. Their central midfield appears to be flexible, but they always utilize one holding midfielder. Stoke like to defend deep without leaving a gap between defence and midfield making movement and passing hard for their opponent . They tend to direct opposing attacks to the flanks and find it easy to deal with crosses into their own box. They also fail to close down long range efforts with surprising consistency. I was very intrigued to see how most of their chances conceded were due to fast swift moving attacking moves from their opponents on the counter attack. This is owing to the fact that at that moment, there are only four defenders behind the ball for a change. Furthermore, the Stoke defence fumbles when pressed high up the pitch by opponents. They also funnily enough, fail to deal with balls over the top and with runners who get behind their defence.
Same old, same old. I have eyes. I use them to see. I can see that Stoke haven’t changed, nor are they likely to in the near future. However, higher minds think otherwise. I expect us to win and to win handsomely, at that. Expect us to press high up the pitch, zip the ball around the park as always and utterly destroy them with pace and deliberation from the wings.
Positively Arsenal 
This post reminds me a lot of Frank (and that’s a big compliment). Well, Frank has a way with words so that is different, but the sentiment and cutting through to the nub is the same. Frank might have said, and once did (now I cannot as you know actually sound like Frank, so bear with me and place the same meaning in Frank’s inimitable expressions), “Stoke are a bunch of fascist thugs, a town that wallows in racism, and a team that practices thuggery on the pitch, true to the fan’s fascist sentiments”. About right? I thought it was harsh (I’ve never been to Stoke).
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Oh lord, I’ve spotted a redundant sentence towards the end. “fast swift moving attacks on the counter attack”. Shoot me. Need to proof read more stringently next time! Sorry folks.
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And Zimpaul he sounds like a swell guy! I’m certain we’d get along really well!
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You did that for us LGV – so that we did not suffer watching Stoke !
That is far above and beyond the call of duty – as a fan and a blogger
You deserve a statue mate a big fucking statue !!!
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At the entrance to Brittanica Stadium?
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My team would be ,Wojo,Bac, Per,Kos,TV5,Flamini,Arteta,TR7,AOC,Podolski, Giroud,.Bully them if you can.
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Well done, La Gooner Vida – can I call you LGV for short?
I am impressed that you subjected yourself to all that to provide us with an accurate breakdown of the enemy. Thanks for your effort and pain on our behalf.
I just want the bloody referee to do his job. Untold says its Mike Jones and he is reasonable, but 4th official is Anthony – I’m a dirty cheat – Taylor – hope that does not affect things.
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Thank you all for your words of encouragement! As pathetic as their football is, it was great fun to do a tactical analysis and see whether what the journos were throwing around was actually true. My post wasn’t very PA, sadly. But I hope that I get better with time. And yes Sav, LGV suits me just fine! 😀 Great to be a part of this part of the Arsenal universe.
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U have AOC on playing 2 positions there PG..Ox is good but he isn’t that good!
Nice write-up LGV.
I find Stoke easier to stomach now that they have the likes of Ireland, Odemwingie, Arnautovic & Nzonzi on their books. It balances out for how much I detest Shawcross, Adam, Walters, Wilkinson & the inner glow of Sparky.
Quite like their RB Cameron also. Flashes a bit of skill & is quite the athlete.
Szcz
Bac-Per-Kos-Verm
MA8-Jack-Oz
Ox-OG-Santi
+Fabia, Jenks, Flamini, Rosicky, NikB/Yaya, Poldi, Gnabry.
COYG!
3-1 to the Arse.
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pls delete the Ireland bit from my name..thanks.
U have AOC on playing 2 positions there PG..Ox is good but he isn’t that good!
Nice write-up LGV.
I find Stoke easier to stomach now that they have the likes of Ireland, Odemwingie, Arnautovic & Nzonzi on their books. It balances out for how much I detest Shawcross, Adam, Walters, Wilkinson & the inner glow of Sparky.
Quite like their RB Cameron also. Flashes a bit of skill & is quite the athlete.
Szcz
Bac-Per-Kos-Verm
MA8-Jack-Oz
Ox-OG-Santi
+Fabia, Jenks, Flamini, Rosicky, NikB/Yaya, Poldi, Gnabry.
COYG!
3-1 to the Arse.
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Thank you all for your words of encouragement! As pathetic as their football is, it was great fun to do a tactical analysis and see whether what the journos were throwing around was actually true. My post wasn’t very PA, sadly. But I hope that I get better with time. And yes Sav, LGV suits me just fine! Great to be a part of this part of the Arsenal universe
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on another note…FFP
http://espnfc.com/news/story/_/id/1731378/uefa-probes-76-clubs-financial-fair-play?cc=3888
so many sardines, how many whales?
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Good preview LGV,
Sav, untold also say me Jones is a homer, something we have not seen at the emirates.
righty or wrongly I get the feeling stoke are the sort of side, at the moment, that no one knows what sort of side turn up including their own manager although I haven’t sat and watched 270 minutes of their football.
The one thing about our squad this season is it seems we are much more adaptable to whichever type of foe we face. COYG
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Top work LGV. You must have felt like one of those policemen who have to trawl through hours of hard porn featruing despicable perversions in order to obtain a conviction. Let’s hope the experience hasn’t desensitised you enough to spoil the loving artistry that is Arsene’s midfield runners in full flow.
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@Arse_or_brain I really failed to see any unpredictability to be honest. I saw their last 3 games and they were as predictable as humanly possible. To think Hughes can tactically pull a rabbit out the bag against AW is laughable at best. I also watched a compilation of goals of their past few games I don’t recollect a goal that wasn’t from a cross, a set piece or long range shot.
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@foreverheady Thanks for the kind words! That’s the best analogy I could ever think of tbh! Hahaha! I live for Wengerball!
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Nice preview LGV – did you have to lie down in a darkened room for very long following your research? Just the one day, or two?
The thing that has always incensed me above all other aspects of playing football v The Orcs is the oft observed propensity of referees to lower standards sufficiently to allow their brutally robust version of the game to be played with relative impunity. It’s as if the mentality of “it’s Stoke, what do you expect” takes over. Naturally the moment any of our lot lift a finger in defence it’s an automatic booking …
All week I’ve been reading about Stoke fans and staff bleating about how AFC continue to berate Shawcross for his double assault on Aaron Ramsey. The point they never seem to get is that cry baby Shawcross represents everything everyone hates about the Stoke ‘way’.
Ramsey’s near career-ending injury was hardly an accident; it was an accident waiting to happen. Sooner or later someone was always going to be badly hurt by the very embodiement of the “Arsenal don’t like it up ’em” mentality.
The referees, in my book, were at least 50% to blame for Aaron’s appalling injuries.
As George rightly says, just let them try that with today’s likely squad.
Even if only one AOC bothers to turn up.
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@Andrew I had nightmares! I agree completely with that. They’re trying to create an “us vs them” mentality. Trying to get their fans incensed. I really couldn’t care less, I hate the nematodes. I have more footballing skill, spirit and intelligence in my little toe.
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Which is to say. I have to take the higher ground in this case.
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Good job LGV. You absolutely nailed it. As Zim observed, unlike the football media who seem set on doing a PR piece on behalf of Mark Hughes, you didn’t pussyfoot around. Change is simply around the edges. Stoke’s football is remains faithful to traditional English long-ball. Hughes primary objective is to put lipstick on the pig.
Nonetheless they will be difficult to beat at home as we have found out since our last victory on that fateful day 2010. But they are susceptible to sides that play good football as City proved last week when they should have scored at least two. The key will be the role of the ref. Will Mike Jones be brave enough to stop them going over the line because for certain they will be physical and try stopping us from “playing football.” Ironic since the latter is what they are supposed to be aspiring to.
If, for example, Charlie Adams is successfully in one of his diabolic fouls without a card then it could be a very long afternoon.
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elsewhere….Joel Campbell is the truth!
been reviewing his interweb vids.
AW just might have another legend in the making.
Can’t wait to see him in red & white…and in Brazil.
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Zimpaul
You are correct!
Hull, Birmingham games against the Arsenal don’t have the same appeal to their fans as they do for Stoke. Their fans can not be seen to consistently act in such a revealing manner towards the Arsenal manager. Nothing left to add, it is as it can be seen and heard to be.
–
Expect the whole stadium to be heckling the Arsenal manager, which is a situation that would suit any manager as it takes attention off their players! It’s a big day out for the Stoke fans, the biggest game of the year. Heh.
Therefore I don’t think it will be an easy game, unless Rosicky starts! (IBSF). If the ref is influenced further by the crowd then maybe they’ll kick a little more *cue a first half hat-trick for Carzola*
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https://mobile.twitter.com/BeardedGenius/status/439705235338969089
Today we can expect that these brave souls will turn their constant ire upon the French.
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Well done LA GOONER VIDA.
thanks for pre game analysis. Three points please and a good effort by everyone. I hope for no injuries as we need all on board for the next few games. No team or game is a give me these days and we must be on our toes and put la eqicipa loca to the sword early.
CARMON YOU GUNNERS!!!!!
CARMON YOU ARSENAL!!!!!
put it in forth gear baby!!!!
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starters…anyone?
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CARMON-U-ARSENAL!!!!!!!
http://www.arsenal.com/match/report/1314/post/u18/under18s-west-brom-1-2-arsenal-report?
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aah…http://www.squawka.com/news/2014/03/01/stoke-vs-arsenal-team-news-wenger-leaves-57m-duo-on-the-bench/2014030176795?
could it be?
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oh..i see..you had the ludovico treatment like young alex ….
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10 mins to kick-off, but who’s counting…
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Bunch of inbred halfwit baboons. Don’t even know what the fuck football is. Let alone how to play the damn game.
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The referee is probably a close relative too. Bullshit officiating. My dear old dog can do a better job.
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Giroud’s been caught twice and that studs up foul by Adams on Arteta should have been a yellow. The only reason Pieters was cautioned is because his foul was way too obvious.
I don’t care about the league table. I want the boys to win this game in order to relegate Stoke.
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Arsenal!
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Agree with Gains.
Relegate Stoke those bloody shits. I was not angry before the match. I thought – whatever – everybody’s moved on. Rosicky had the body language when everyone was shaking hands. I’m sure you guys saw it. The – you dirty little shits, how dare you touch my hand after what you did to Ramsey look.
As George said, we won’t be intimidated. Lets get these Orcs!
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Incidentally, how do you catch an Orc?
Chase it down with dogs!
….
How do you catch an Orc in winter?
Go into its cave, with spears!
Lets carve up these Orcs.
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I hate stoke!
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Fucking bullshit. I’m retiring for bed before I kill somebody. Night all.
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arsenal lost a game.
whos mistake was it anyway.do it care? NO
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That was abso-rubbish!
Played right into their hands (ref included)
Width, speed & Rosicky would have been enough.
i.e, Ox, Gnabry & Ozil on eraly in the 2nd.
Their fouling & a cheating ref were always to be expected @ this point of the season
Was that really a penalty???
Oh well….
till the next one
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Puts.
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Never a fucking penalty! Fucking ref. We werent great, but we certainly didnt deserve to lose. Fuck, fuck fuck
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Puta —– puts
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That was a terrible result for us. Just caught the last 10 minutes and only saw the replay of the penalty. That was really soft.
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Chelsea and Man City also dropped points at Stoke, Shotta.
There are thirty points to play for and we have to face our nearest rivals back to back. It’s going to be a crazy ride.
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This was a devastating result but Stoke away are unfortunately very, very tough. On the balance of play it was an even game and we didn’t manage to create the chances to win it. While he isn’t responsible for the result, I felt that the referee was very soft. How often did a Stoke player deliberately stamp on one of ours? This could’ve ended badly and I think that several Stoke players would have deserved a card of the yellow and especially Adam one of the red variety. The rotational fouling on Wilshere and Giroud was disgraceful.
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Always thought this might happen: Untold got it right with the ref prediction, but in fairness there is an argument that says we might have anticipated it. Doubt we anticipated the pitch would be so carefully doctored. Are there pitch inspectors like there are in cricket? Probably not, probably should be.
Not at our best. That happens. Still love the club, still love the team.
Next week will be different.
Oh, and by the way, with the benefit of hindsight my starting XI won comfortably, especially when I brought on my subs.
Except so not, because unlike most peeps I don’t have a real clue about football, and me an ex pro sportsman too.
Time for beers times a few, maybe a curry, sidestep match of the day, sleep badly, wake up at 4am, watch Youtube vids of anyone we are linked with, stumble back to sleep, wake up tomorrow and get on with stuff feeling ever so slightly sad but by and large ready for next week.
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i’m sorry if i’m a bit negative, but this game was there for us to take. stoke for all their agression and wicked tackles, didnt threaten to score all game just as we didnt show any or enough will and urgency to win the game. if we hadnt gave away the pen, we could have nicked it when ox came on.
poldi today at least justified why wenger has almost always start him on the bench. he is better as a super sub than a starter. if he comes in when the opposition defence is weak, he will be able to find space to unleash those shots from his left foot which i think is about the only weapon which gives him some edge over the likes of gnabry and ox on that left wing.
we have to find a way to play ox in this team, not because he is almost our best player in the past few games but we need the wing to function well and his speed to put the opposition on the back foot when they came against us and also give us the chance to counter attack.
if us is not available, then gnabry should play.
it is clear that our best spell in the game today was the last fifteen minutes.
there should be no retrospective punishment for adam because that will be double tragedy for arsenal as he will miss chelsea’s game. as chelsea is our direct rival to the title, no action is needed. since the ref was there and still refuse to make the right call, adam should be spared.
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Tough result. The players will be even more disappointed than we are. But we always knew Stoke would be difficult. I thought we looked fine defensively. We just couldn’t seem to break through. Nil-nil would have been fair, but I don’t think we deserved to lose. That’s football, though. It was always going to be a hard road without Ramsey and Walcott. It must be hard for them, too, standing by unable to help. Hurry back, Aaron. As soon as you can… Onward we go. Up the Arsenal!
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Blouse and skirt!
I thought our Yaya had tied it up!
Only got to see about 20 minutes of the game so I cannot really comment. I think the pen was given because his hand was high. I do remember us playing City and mom kompany (I think) did something similar and there no pen. Football…the refs confuse me.
I tend to agree with layksite about the Ox though. He has been our best player of late, as far as getting forward is concerned. He always attacks and gets behind defenses. Not even Bayern knew what to do with him, until the red card.
Anyways, I trust the manager and boys to right the ship. We must help urge them on.
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