213 Comments

Stoke

Stoke. What can you say about Stoke? Seriously. Apart from Owd Grandad Piggott, May un Mar Lady and the 1842 Pottery Riots the place seems not to have an awful lot going for it. Oh sorry, I forgot there’s the football team. We need to mention the football team. Now. I am well aware of the protocol here. I know I’m expected to litter this piece with Tolkienesque allusions and rugby references, but I am going to try to break out of that particular clichéd straight jacket. I want to see if I can make it to the end without one mention of Orcs, seven points, Mordor, The Barad-dûr or Twickenham. You don’t think I can? Just watch me.

dothWith players closely resembling the uglier members of The Dothraki tribe and a playing style closer to American rather than British Football Stoke City have won few friends in their most recent sojourn in the top flight of the English leagues. They have been in the premier division on occasions before, but each time their stay has descended into an attritional battle where survival becomes the supreme goal. To be fair they haven’t always stirred such feelings of animus, such hostile revulsion from their peers as that which they earned during the Pulis years. We can’t tell if the Hughes era will usher in a new playing style or whether the unkind comparisons to more heavily contact based sports will endure. You have to be honest and say that his record with such Wendigo filled cloggers as Blackburn doesn’t bode well. Off the pitch a handful of Stoke supporters have done little to reverse the awful reputation that the team have earned upon it. I know there are folk, long suffering Potters fans, who have had to put up with some pretty strong stuff, not least of all from us, but sadly for them, as long as a section of their support thinks it right and proper to boo Aaron Ramsey then I fear they may as well accustom themselves to their pariah status. That reaction to the events of the twenty seventh of February twenty ten surely ranks among the most reprehensible of any group of modern football fans.
Today however I don’t really want to waste too much breath on the opposition. Today I want to focus on us. I don’t want to write a piece about Morlocks and their attempt to import Murderball tactics into the Prem, it’s all a bit tired now and we are in such a fine run of results right at this moment that it seems silly not to look at our own side and let the visitors worry about themselves. MorlocksOne of the positives about our recent mini run since the opening day setback is that we’ve put it together with a severely depleted squad. I think most people now accept that the bunkum bandied about us being weak, lacking strength in depth or having insufficient back up to first team players has been categorically disproved and was in all honesty little more than a Sky Sports editorial flogging horse which Murdoch’s minions had been ordered to repeat until the brainwashed hordes assumed it to be based on some sort of empirical evidence. We have sauntered on, apparently uninhibited by shedding players of the calibre of Santi Cazorla, Lukas Podolski, Alex Oxelaide Chamberlain, Tomas Rosicky and the best midfielder in the league Mikel Arteta. That we haven’t broken stride despite this luminous list joining AD2 in the infirmary having the old embrocation rubbed in by beefy men in roll necked sweaters of course speaks volumes for our squad depth. Less tangible however is this creeping feeling that we are a considerably more to be reckoned with force than we have been in recent seasons. I can’t speak for you obviously but I know that I have been a little taken aback by how fast our injured players are returning to us. This could of course be no more than the effects of the passage of time. An old man like me will naturally watch the few remaining grains in the top half of the hour glass appear to drop ever more quickly the less of them there are, that is merely human nature. In this instance, however, I think something else is at work.
Normally when important players are missing you, well, you miss them. You study Arsène’s elastic forecasts of their projected return dates with mounting anxiety and you know that we desperately need them patched up and wheeled out in as little time as possible. It has sometimes been a fretful misery watching our second string hanging on in there as we wonder how many more months our wounded stars must be injected with the old horse tranquillisers and fed the cod liver oil. Well I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not but Thomas Vermaelen’s name slipped back into the match day programme recently. And now I’m hearing that Mikel Arteta our other captain is back to full training and may even feature in today’s line up. So soon. They haven’t recovered particularly quickly. That isn’t it at all. Nature has run it’s course as it always has and ever will. No, I maintain that what’s happening here is because our squad is so strong, so resilient even in times of crisis that we haven’t really been worrying about the wounded in the way we once would. The spotlight is on the guys who are winning for us on the pitch and not for once on the ones we desperately need back to careen a stricken ship. Even a year ago we’d have really struggled without Arteta in the team. Now I begin to wonder who could we drop to make way for him. Aaron? Don’t make me laugh. Jack? Just when his burgeoning understanding with Mesut Özil is growing minute by minute before our eyes into a thing of rare beauty? I don’t think so. The new boy himself? Seems a little unlikely. Seems to me he needs games under his belt; as many and as soon as possible to help him settle and learn the ways of the Wengerball. Can’t see MA rampaging down either wing nor displacing Olivier Goal A Game Giroud and so maybe, just maybe I have a point.

Aaron Ramsey Photo 2013 07

I know we have a lot of games and people need to rest and injuries will happen. I get all that, but it isn’t really what I’m driving at here. I’m more interested in the way things feel calmer, even in a so called crisis, the way the club seems to sit a little deeper in the water and not heel over so badly in a sudden squall. I can’t put my finger on it but there’s a settled, purposeful strength to our progress right now and I like it a lot. None of this should hoodwink you into thinking that I’m not a gibbering wreck in the ten minutes before kick off – the thing wouldn’t be any fun otherwise would it? But if you take recent events into account I can’t see why anyone would be anything other than serenely calm right now. I certainly couldn’t grasp why folk spat out their pacifiers (for my English readers that’s ‘dummies’) when we conceded against Paulo the Fascist’s north eastern division last weekend. There was a sense of inevitability about our matching and going at least two better than anything they could throw at us that day and that typifies the aura the club is wearing right now.
OK, enough of me and my hypothetical rambling, I know what you want. You want final score predictions and team lists don’t you? That is after all the only reason to read a blog. Unless it’s to be told what to think. So here goes. Bendtner will start in a four four three with Akpom playing off him in the channel holes, Giroud to start on the left drifting into the right half central wide  position when defending. Peter Story will be at holding midsweeper and with Theo in goal we’ll defeat the ravening Mongol hordes of Batu Khan Hughes by six to two with one impaling and two yellow perils to one red army faction. There will be a white Christmas, it might as well rain until September and the lotto numbers for Wednesday will precisely correspond to the page numbers in which Mr Gradgrind is mentioned in the first half of Hard Times by Charles Dickens.

About steww

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bass guitar, making mistakes, buggering on regardless.

213 comments on “Stoke

  1. Two more goals please.

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  2. Evil
    Nice one!
    This is going to scar the manure, and the y have a league cup game against Livepool next so no respite.

    Did I mention crumbling Empires earlier… ?

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  3. Come on, hang on in there Cardiff!

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  4. Even the chinless one gets to score. It might seem like a tad early, but I seriously feel that United don’t have it in them to finish top 4. They’ve been kept going by old red nose who made them punch way above their weight and now all that’s left is an average squad (sprinkled with a couple of really good players with really big egos) playing for an average manager.

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  5. @DC
    How dare you? Instead of enjoying ManU getting a proper thumping, I now have to watch Cardiff defend against Spurs for 30 minutes with my heart in my mouth. I completely forgot about that game until you brought it up. Hopefully they can steal one on the counter, I don’t like the thought of Sp*rs being level with us on points.

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  6. I doubt Van Judas could help this shower of shite the way they’ve been playing lately.

    It’s quite clear that Manure, without Taggart, is barely a top four team. Motes doesn’t have as much pull as he does.

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  7. Our game against the red scum can’t come soon enough.
    Their midfield just doesn’t exist today.
    I can’t expect the lobotomised one to last much longer on the pitch one yellow card.

    On the other side of the coin, once City do click into the right gears, and with the big squad they have, they will be a real threat to our title aspirations.

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  8. Smalling, Young, Cleverly, Wellbeck and Fellaini would all struggle to get in Everton’s first team.

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  9. Webb must have got his MUFC tattoo removed this summer.

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  10. Oh Odemwingie! Almost scored one. He could have passed the ball…

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  11. It sounds like the Alamo in Cardiff,
    Come on Taffs, hold out!

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  12. Oh my, what a brilliant chance for Cardiff. How did the guy miss out from 12 yards like that?

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  13. DC, City is playing well, but Manure is making them look a lot better than they are.

    If their midfield were a Vodka it would be called Absolut Shite.

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  14. Come on Wayne, pick up a second yellow!
    Make my day complete.

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  15. Damn, Spuds scored

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  16. It could have been the perfect weekend…
    but it’s still a fantastic one!

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  17. Fuck.

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  18. We’re still top on goal difference.

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  19. Georgaki-pyrovolitis's avatar

    Pogue Mahone

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  20. Yeah, I’ll live with that,
    Top of the table on GD, despite our ‘terrible’ defence.

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  21. coyg…lets increase the lead now!!!!!

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  22. Just back from the game. I was really nervous this morning – my butterflies had butterflies! FunGunner at the game, post a tough CL away match, injury ravaged team, running on fumes in front of the home ‘support’ and against the ‘robust’ Stoke! The forebearers of doom were working their dark magic on me!

    What was I worried about? Very professional performance from our lads. Stoke only managed to look good because our tiredness gave them more of the ball and more time on it. The highlight for me was that we out-stoked Stoke by scoring from 3 set pieces! Great resilience and grit – when the pretty stuff is too much for tired legs, we showed that we can be clinical and actually use these set piece opportunities that often come our way, previously to no avail. As for that Shawcross, what a baby! He spent the whole match crying in Dean’s ear at every opportunity. I really thought he was going in the book finally, but Dean chickened out in the end.

    I’m surprised that Flamini was MOTM – I didn’t think he was that effective today and we gave up a lot of opportunities when the midfield failed to put enough pressure on the opposition. For efficient, unflashy contribution, I would personally give it to Mesut. I thought the quality of his deliveries made the difference for us today. But the average footie fan gets taken in by the ‘showiness’ of someone shouting and pointing. I noticed that Ozil also contributes in that regard, but it doesn’t get noticed as much as his assists. When he settles into this team, I think we are in for a treat.

    Gnabry was impressive today. He started slowly and seems to hang on to the ball too long and often made the wrong choice of pass or missed a chance for a counter by not looking up and spotting a team mate in a good position. But he settled into the game and I thought he made a really good contribution both offensively and defensively. He’s probably earned a start on Weds.

    Jack and Aaron both look in need of a rest. Hopefully with Arteta back they will get one. I also hope Theo is not out for long as I think we missed his speed as an outlet today. People who fail to see his contribution to our all round team play, clearly aren’t looking.

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  23. Pass, what you said about Özil is quite interesting. Against Sunderland he had a similar game as he had today. He didn’t run from box to box and was all action like Ramsey, but he still ended up with three assists.

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  24. Georgaki-pyrovolitis's avatar

    Wow Passenal what an absolutely brilliant analysis!

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  25. The boys get a much needed rest this week. Theo sat out with a minor abdominal strain, according to Wenger.

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  26. So you don’t think I should step back into the kitchen GP?

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  27. Dear oh dear, the Mancs are just finding out their £24m signing is a plank.

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  28. Georgaki-pyrovolitis's avatar

    Depends how well you cook!
    Seriously, that was an excellent write up……

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  29. Gains, there were enough gooners crying because AW didn’t splash out on him and instead cheaped out as usual and got Flamini for free! But who got the better deal in the end?

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  30. Well done Passeral.
    A very fair post.

    Yes, the presence of Theo would have made Stoke think twice about pushing so hard onto us is the second half when they were looking for a second goal to make it 2-2.

    I was amused at Hughes’s post-match comments, Arsenal don’t usually score from set pieces, so he must have thought it was going to be perfectly ok to get away with fouling us all the time outside their box.

    I thought our defending of set-pieces was superb, Per was another unsung hero today, never mind that he scored too. And the Bac is Back! I suppose MÖ11 is going to earn hundreds of MOTM plaudits in the future, he might as well start building a cellar for all those cheapo Barclays champagne bottles he will be receiving.

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  31. Fellaini was, is and hopefully will not be overrated in the future. Good player but NOWHERE NEAR the value he commands in “the market”.
    Bunch of criminals, agents, bankers, brokers & shysters who offer very little to the more fundamental realities of life and only leech on other people’s hard work.
    This is the crap AW & the other true leaders have to contend with amplified by the braying of the dumbed-down populace majority.
    Alex Ferguson used every advantage in the book but they still plunked 24m on afromarouan?

    Serves them right..
    and oh by the way, see you at season’s end Robin…u dumb ass.

    gkam, got the score right but not the scorers.
    I’d gladly take that all season.

    STILLNESS & SPEED, RASERS..stillness & speed.

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  32. 10th November,
    Mark it in your diary – it will be the day JvC’s little boy inside him will be calling the social workers to ask to be taken away from such a bad man.

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  33. great to see our technical leader back
    …savvy & swagger

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  34. Cornelius gets injured in the warm-up for Madrid.
    One should not giggle or snigger.

    No really, one should not do such at thing at his misfortune.
    I bet CR7 is though, deep down.

    Yes Aman, the right man to come on and at the right time, the ship needed to be steadied and Commander Arteta sorted it out.
    Last year we would have drawn this match.

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  35. You have to larf
    Bale pretends he is injured during August in order to engineer his move to Madrid
    His much heralded debut at the Bernabeu tonight ?
    Injured in the warm up

    Justice and humour from the deity all in one

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  36. @passenal
    It’s always that way, isn’t it? Others splash the cash, we buy “cheap” and get the better player. Cazorla vs. Mata/Silva, Koscielny vs. Luiz/Cahill/Smalling/Jones, Flamini vs. Fellaini..

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  37. True Evil, and yet still people don’t learn. Price tag does not always equal quality, but when quality is available, Arsene has shown that he is prepared to pay the price! For what we paid for him, Ozil is a bargain!

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  38. I laugh at he idiots who proclaim Wenger has lost his touch in the transfer market.

    Santi was daylight robbery.

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  39. Super quality there, steww

    ” I can’t put my finger on it but there’s a settled, purposeful strength to our progress right now and I like it a lot.”
    Totally agree. I said the other day in the comments to one of your other posts that we seem to be marching inexorably towards glory.

    Really enjoyed the game, best moment was of course Ramsey scoring and the celebratory rendition of “There’s only one Aaron Ramsey” in the stadium. He totally bossed the team. We looked a little tired but still comfortable.

    Incidentally, Ryan Shawcross is the exception to the rule of why it’s not worth booing opposition players – it does needle him, so well worth it. Guilty conscience?

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  40. And I am ROFL about the Manure-City result.

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  41. Super match report, Passenal.

    I admit when Stoke equalised, I said to myself if we end up drawing this game, I am NEVER coming to another match again.

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  42. I thought of you when that Stoke goal went in and they got a little bit of the upper hand in the second half! Were your ears burning? (banned smiley face)

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  43. I am so happy this site has attracted so many female posters(that could also write some articles?)
    Even if they put me to shame with their knowledge and insight.

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  44. Was Aaron Ramsey putting his finger to his lips to tell the stokies to shut up, or was it aimed at some of the doomer wankers who had been slagging him off for the last two years?
    The only blot on his game today was not passing it to Ryo for an easy tap-in in injury time.

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  45. where is Calamity Jane? And Goonerwife?

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  46. Church celebrating DC ?

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  47. @dc
    I found this quote by Ramsey to be very telling. It’s from before the Stoke game:
    “I never feared that I wouldn’t return. I felt it was always there. I just needed to believe again and get that confidence.
    “I had a lot of support from friends and family, and I had the trust that the manager put in me.
    “All these things added up over a period of time. You have to keep believing and working hard, and it just clicks all of a sudden and you are full of confidence.”

    No reference to the fans at all. I wonder why that might be? Probably all those groans whenever he misplaced a pass last season or the year before didn’t instill him with confidence. Who would’ve thought?

    On the other hand Wenger kept playing him whenever he could and even though Ramsey sometimes had a game below par he knew that the manager believed in him. Must do wonders for a player, especially one who’s been picked out as the scapegoat of the season by a certain section of fans.

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  48. I thought it was Giroud that should have played Ryo in?

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