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Punch Buggy Red And White

may day

It’s been an interesting week. Somehow predictable and yet at the same time filled with the unexpected. Take our most recent match as an example. Given the relative points differential between the two sides at The Emirates on Sunday, what transpired was, in the strict definition of the word, a surprise. We ought not to have been capable of the utter domination with which we subjugated the barbarian horde in the first half. Surely they, being champions and many points to the better, should have strolled around us passing with an élan and a freedom befitting the greatest team in the land. An uninformed impartial Martian must have assumed that the boys with the artillery on their shirts were the pre eminent team. A surprise also that Phil Dowd should actually caution so many United players who were after all only following in the time honoured tradition of so many Ferguson teams down the years and kicking their irritating ‘foreign’ opposition into submission. You could actually see the confusion on their faces when the rules of the game were, for once, applied. A surprise also that we conceded a goal after a mistake from the hero of the battle of Sunderland and one of our single most reliable, dependable servants. Also a surprise that he should fail to realise that no matter how well he recovered and how perfect his tackle, you cannot be that close to a top Premiership forward with Robin’s experience and get away with a sliding challenge, even one as sublime as that off with which Bacary pulled.
Then came the predictable. Firstly, and most regrettably was Man United coming away with more than they deserve from a match against us. Neither was there an iota of surprise that the little Uzbeck incubi should scurry to their keyboards and do their master’s bidding. Proclaiming this most recent continuation of our phenomenal unbeaten run as some kind of proof that we need to replace our leader would make Orwell blush. And of course no surprise whatsoever that the Usmanov stories then reared up in the press as we all assumed they would, aimed purely at destabilising Arsenal football club as the most crucial part of our season is in the vinegar strokes.
One of the surprises I didn’t mention was how much I enjoyed the match on Sunday. As you know I can’t usually stomach our meeting with the red Manfergisun drunk red nosecs but I found by looking away every time the camera panned onto that poor unfortunate old drunk on the away bench it was rendered a thoroughly entertaining affair. The two differing football philosophies are actually well matched when both are running smoothly. United’s success is largely built on their coach playing a way with which he is so familiar that he has rubbed it down until it shines and greased every nipple until it runs with a silent, ruthless efficiency. Helped by the most brazen one sided officiating imaginable of course, just ask yourself how many red cards they received this season. Some of the playing staff may change but SAF just slots them into a system he has honed to a knife’s edge. Of course it also helps when you can afford to keep players on high wages long after others would have to offload them. Arsene too knows what he wants from his players but it seems sometimes to me to require an incredible level of skill, intelligence and group awareness for them to pull it off. When it all comes together however it is a wonderful sight to behold, and is, as the champions discovered, simply irresistible. It was Cavaliers and Roundheads doing battle on Sunday. Just the perfect match up in many ways and no surprise that honours were even in the end.

jabba

I referred earlier to the deliberate placing of ridiculous stories designed with the sole purpose of undermining and derailing our challenge for that vital and much sought after top four finish. This is just one example of the great British sport journalist at work. Chasing any story, no matter how silly, and no doubt being fed what someone else decides and when they decide. I shan’t go into it, it’s tedious in the extreme. They did the same thing before the North London Derby and we all know precisely what their game is so bollocks to them. When I come across somebody who believes this garbage and goes on to base their opinions on such spurious nonsense, I am reminded of the  PG Wodehouse line that they are to be pitied rather than censured. Such inadequate individuals obviously need help and here at PA we believe in trying to assist those possessing, shall we say, putting it kindly, a lesser calibre of argument. They require and I suppose deserve to be shown a better path, the path to enlightenment, but if they won’t take that help then I have no interest in them nor their so called support. As Officer John Cooper says in Southland, ‘Ask them, tell them, make them’. My technique for dealing with useless online Arsenal fans is, however, more breviloquent than the LAPD’s approach to recalcitrant civilians. I’m more an ‘Ask them, unfollow them, block them’ kinda guy. Well come on, seriously, life is just too short.
OK so that’s the recent past, I wonder, to what can we look forward? Another weekend approaches and here in the UK we will all be Morris dancing, crowning the May Queen and taking Monday off work. I am off for my regular rest cure of peace and tranquillity and the gentle lapping off the liquid mud of the Bristol channel. But what about the rest of you? I presume a nail biting wait for the late kick off on Saturday afternoon beckons. I’ll do my ‘appy ‘arry preview on match day, and if I clamber to the top of a cliff and wave my phone above my head I may even get a strong enough internet connection to be able to post the damn thing. In the meantime I’ll content myself with anticipating a display from an Arsenal side bubbling with confidence instilled from a performance where they easily matched and often humiliated what is supposedly the best in the land. I hope on this occasion we see no surprises and that all runs true to the form book. I of course should have arranged my sojourn by the sea for the following weekend as a glance at the fixture list shows that we have no match until the 14th of May. This is for no reason obvious to me. And of course that’s a bloody Tuesday which means no one will be listening to my radio show either. I tell you even being just a lame armchair fan requires a hell of a commitment sometimes, I suppose I’ll just have to play some Godspeed You! Black Emperor. Their tracks usually last a good twenty eight minutes or so. Unless of course you know any other artists famous for lengthy tunes? Let’s chat about it shall we? After all we’ve bugger all football to talk about for a couple of days. It’ll be good preparation for the dreaded close season. I cannot even begin to imagine filling these pages when that bleak time comes upon us. It’ll be like the five year winter in Game Of Thrones. With possibly a little less dwarf sex. 2146944928_cef4db8018_zMaybe we could work out some internet versions of those games your Dad used to invent to help pass a long boring car journey and keep you from giving your sister Chinese burns. You must have some. I recall Pub Cricket, I-spy, some complex thing involving car number plates and colours the details of which escape me now and in all likelihood did back in the days of Datsun Cherries and hot plastic seats. Suffice it to say, June and July, footballistically and bloggily at least, are a prospect to which I do not look forward with any enthusiasm. But I suppose we have plenty of time to worry about that later, I’m sure in any event George has a plan for the long empty summer months which are drawing ever closer. In the meantime we have just two hundred and seventy minutes of our precious Arsenal left. I can’t believe how quickly it has passed. Another season nearly gone and if Andrew’s inside knowledge is correct it could be Arsene’s swansong.
Lumme, now that is a depressing prospect. I-spy anyone?

About steww

Arsenal, books, photography, bass guitar, dog walking, mountain biking, being on the radio, writing, talking too much, failing, making mistakes, buggering on regardless.

37 comments on “Punch Buggy Red And White

  1. Are you going to be riding the Severn Bore, Steww. Great stuff as always.

    I don’t think that AW will be leaving anytime soon and I would be surpised if we don’t extend his contract after next season. We should win the EPL 13/14. Stable excellent team, no significant desertions, a whole bunch of year older youngsters knocking on the first team door and I expect the upfront replacement for…….to join Olivier early in the summer. Very exciting.

    Next step towards third coming up this weekend.

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  2. Good morning gentelmen and happy mayday. Nice write up and I agree with Frank. AW is going to stay and see it through. No doubt about his commitment to the club and his players. He has had much better financial offers and prestigious positions and he has always refused. A vocal minority of misguided and decived so called fans will not change that. He is strong willed and has a point to prove to all opponents and explayers that didn’t keep faith with him and his ways.
    even though it won’t be ARSENAL FOOTBALL this summer there is a small affair that will be happening in Brazil called the world cup. There will be plenty to write about and it will be great to see some of our internationals in action . Have a great day. And to hell with the red mancs.

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  3. Great bit of writing Stew – you make it look effortless, but we know it ain’t

    And off to Loftus Road on Saturday – a game that kicks off at a time I hate for no logical reason, it is just wrong. And confronting a Rangers team that surrendered far too easily its top table place, and requiring forgiveness from the owner. So a little caution required in handling the cornered, twitching rat.

    Anything other than three points and I do not think entry to the CL will be feasible, and to be honest not to beat a relegated team in a match that is so important to us would be desperately poor.

    I want to see goals too as the goals difference and even goals scored might make the difference between trips to the Allianz and the San Siro on Tuesday and Wednesday, or Shamrock Rovers on a Thursday.

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  4. Goonerkam – This summer is the Confederations Cup in Brazil, a two-week affair. Unfortunately there will be little distraction from the transfer nonsense as the media and bloggers go into full overdrive to exploit the fantasies of fickle fans.

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  5. Talking of the broader football world a story of indomitable spirit.

    The local team up the road from me, Kings Lynn Town, where I go once or twice a season, has had a hell of a season. Last night they won the Northern Premier League Division One title with one game to spare in front of 2,000 fans, beating Sheffield FC 2-1 on the night. At one point in the season Lynn had trailed Coalville by 17 points so the comeback to win the trophy in itself was formidable.

    They are used to climbing out of the grave.

    December 2009 saw the original club wound up in the High Court by HMRC over a tax bill of £77,000. (FFS) The club folded, a club that had existed since 1868 ruined by the incompetence of management. The ground was closed. The fixture list stopped mid season.

    Through the determined efforts of fans a new club was set up to start the 2010/11 season in the United Counties League. They failed to get promotion in the first season, then got into the NPL last season, before winning the League this season. Crowds held up though, 700-800 every home game and double the next highest in the division. And back into the Northern Premier League’s top division next season, exactly the same division they were in when HMRC kicked the chair away in 2009.

    I raise my hat to the loyal fans of Kings Lynn Town – it ain’t all about the Champions League

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  6. ….Doing my round up of the various blogs and it is evident the theme for the summer is destabilization of AW. The stories of him going to PSG, a proxy for any other club was the 1st round. But the most insidious was that initiated by the the most popular blog, that it is the manager who lacks ambition. Today’s le groan headline had the subtlety of a hammer to a nail.

    As Hunter said yesterday, we have seemingly intelligent people prattling the stupidest of ideas and the weak-minded clutching at it as if gospel; the ideaa that it is the manager who determines policy on spending the owner’s money. Fact: Arsenal PLC is losing money on its football operations for the past two years and makes profit due to player sales. The club had a negative cash flow in 2012 and we have the ridiculous idea being peddled that AW could have gone on a spending spree. Now that some money will be received from the improved commercial deals, we are suddenly in a position to go toe-to-toe with ManUnited, Chelsea and ManCity. What madness!

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  7. stew that was shit , you disappointed me man, where are them classy posts you have us used to. that was terrible..never write again…. 🙂 as for the criminal and his complaints in the newspapers…lol fuck him… let him boil and stew ..eventually he will have to sell his shares..kroenke dont seem the type to be seeking any collaborations with him.

    Gainsbourg69 May 2, 2013 at 2:15 am .its shocking how much i agree..every word, every comma, spot oNN ! and you quoted redondo too..what a player…remember what he did to berg? ahahah…

    as for mourinho..i couldnt agree more..first year at madrid he was terrible ..i think he lost from a combined score of something like 13-2 from pep. then he won the title, and this year they didnt exist for the first ten fixtures..no title..no champions league..but the best is when he was crying yesterday about the love . so pathetic that a 50 yearold high profiled professional like him who gets paid 11m per year would talk like a child in kindergarten.

    oh and a copa del rey ….which makes it two trophies from a possible 9 ( 3 x cup, league ch.l) and if we add the super cup[s intercontinentals and others missed id say 11m per year fro mou and 400 for transfers for the return of one champion title and one copa del rey ….money well spent yes ?

    and now that spain is in trouble like portugal italy greece he is leaving like pep left …hehe ..

    one arsene wenger theres only one arsene wenger

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  8. are the owners of qpr still ecclestone and briatore?

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  9. Yeah I know sorry Hunter. As we run out of actual football my posts will get worse and worse, just watch.

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  10. The biggest bore is on the evening of 22nd August this year, Steww, and we don’t get one in May. An Arsenal shirt surfing the Severn Bore would be a site to behold and would be a joyful start to the new season after the long dreary pre-season bore.

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  11. I’m on it Frank

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  12. heh i forgive , ill be lenient this time..but better step it up in lieu of transfer season .. 🙂 quality all over the place. like the sun…

    3×3 and rafa to beat totenham for the chl spot. i like rafa.. i feel he is victimised here like arsene and picked on and singled out for mocking abuse and rtidicule….brilliant manager though…. not his fault players like gerrard alonso etc couldnt score in 5 draws at home. he had beaten ferguson wenger mourinho and madrid that year and went to another final where he lost from kaka..thats ok…it was kaka after all ..not milner…

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  13. Great stuff number 10, got a feeling Saturdays gonna be another tight one,it shouldn’t be but it probably will,there’s always that feeling after the last game of the season of ‘yep,that’ll do me for a while’ as far as Arsenals concerned,about 2 days later I’m clucking like an addict again.

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  14. hello everyone.
    manure are the only club in the league without any red card this season. we have five reds! the highest in the league. does that makes us the dirtiest club? no.
    we have the least no of yellow. and most of our reds (if not all) are yellow in manure’s case. why are we so hated and cheated by the fa?

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  15. As the end of the season approaches, I feel a little like I used to when I was in school. Looking forward to lazier days, with the stress level dialed back a bit, but sad, too, because I’m going to miss all my friends. I do hope you guys will be around, or I’m going to be lonely.

    Speaking of school, I always feel like I’m back in it when I read Stew’s writing. Breviloquent? Yeah, I had to look that up.

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  16. SHOTTA
    Thanks mate. Confederation cup it is. My mistake. Should offer a few really good games that tournament. And the spare time to go on out there and kick the ball ourselves in anticipation of the new campaign and reading the increasingly ever improving posts here at Positively ARSENAL.

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  17. Oh. Great story of persevarance ANICOLL. Kings Lynn must be very proud.

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  18. Thanks for the wonderful post, yet again. I have now officially stopped visiting any other arsenal/football blog.

    “I don’t think that AW will be leaving anytime soon and I would be surpised if we don’t extend his contract after next season. We should win the EPL 13/14. Stable excellent team, no significant desertions, a whole bunch of year older youngsters knocking on the first team door and I expect the upfront replacement for…….to join Olivier early in the summer. Very exciting”

    Frank, I agree completely with you. There are no summer internationals this time around too. We will have Rosicky ready right at the beginning of next season. Jack will get the rest he needs. Expecting to see a lot more of Coq and a little bit of Eisfeld and Gnabry next season.

    Btw, I got a lot of stick once for saying we should get another striker. Or maybe the way I said it. heh.

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  19. h13
    i want chavs to finish 5th so that mourinho can ramain in madrid. he always like likes to eat where he doesnt sow. as for spuds, they will drop out in qualifying stage of cl.

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  20. Prince Poldi’s ankle injury was true after all. He will undergo a surgery in summer. Hope he comes back the player he truly is.

    Even at half injured, he almost never disappointed when playing. Ze German grit is strong with him.

    Another player who could use the summer to the fullest advantage eh?

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  21. Nice one Steww.
    Not your thing but I’ll be enjoying the cricket in the summer. The Aussie rebuild hasn’t been managed as well as the Arsenal rebuild & it’ll be a very different ashes series to those I remember. Perhaps the Aussie team hung to their heroes for too long, odd as that may sound. Maybe some should’ve been shown the door long before they got obsessed with, er, dieting pills and stuff (sorry Aussies, I couldn’t resist!). Sport, it’s a funny old game.

    The ’08 reference:

    1. OG > The lost soul of Adebayor
    2. Poldi can finish like Eddy. Well, he probably gives the ball more, what’s the correct technical term…gives the ball more welly on occasion. You know what I mean.
    3. A.N. Other who hopefully won’t spend the season injured like you know who back then.

    And hopefully no CBs sold to the barcaholes. I’m still laughing because someone at Barcelona clearly thought they could fudge buying a CB by asking Song to move to Spain and to play him at the back from the off, which is what they did! Song might make it there, he might not, but anyone who knew his game would know that he wouldn’t adapt to moving quickly, let alone a new position! Heh.

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  22. Did I give you a lot of stick for saying we should replace……, Arshavin23? If so I am sorry. I have always felt that OG always felt that he was going to playing upfront with….in the side when he arrived, and I assumed …… would be replaced.

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  23. It was brave of Barcelona to try to emulate Arsenal in beating Bayern. Things is they just don’t have our talent.

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  24. I wish the football press didn’t treat us football supporters like idiots. Give us more analysis and less soap opera, for fuck’s sake.

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  25. I wish we could get Joel Campbell’s work permit sorted out. I would love, love to see him and Ryo wearing the red and white next season. I want them at Arsenal learning from the likes of Podolski and Santi Cazorla, not out on loan.

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  26. Has there been any news on Joel Campbell’s work permit, Gainbourg69,? It would be great to see him play for us.

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  27. …as for the football press, are they capable of analysis or fresh news?

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  28. Dearie me that Stuart Hall turned out to be a bit of a toad

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  29. …what a rotter

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  30. all round bad egg

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  31. Talking about the press, does your mate John Cross know why the press and media have such a downer on Arsenal all the time, George?

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  32. I don’t mind Rafa either, as a person, though his preferred style of play isn’t a patch on ours, and he is basically a cheque book manager. But he’s quite brave and honest, I think.

    I think Joel Campbell may stay on loan another season as Real Betis love him and want to keep him on. And poor old Ryo has barely had a loan spell because of injuries, and yet Bolton desperately want him to stay as well. So I think we may have to wait another year to see either of those players in the red and white. Or purple. Or yellow.

    @ Frank and hunter13
    you are cracking me up today.
    And …. is a great name for JvC.

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  33. Oh lord are we changing our kit again, FG? I suppose it is inevitable. Nice to go back to just red and white, and maybe something baggy.

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  34. Frank
    Are you sure about the baggy part??
    I think the tighter the better.

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  35. Goonerkam @6:48 Amen to that. And that’s all I have to say on that subject.

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  36. Frank,John insists the Media are very even handed with Arsenal.
    He also thinks I am a good egg.So he knows shit.

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  37. Albamagooner
    Hahaha, enjoy. That’s as good a reason as the two I had . And as important.

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