It’s fascinating and hilarious in equal measure how so many football fans are incapable of enjoying the most exciting months of the football calendar. Do you remember Zimpaul comparing a season with an 800m race? He suggested a few months back that we were approaching the final bend, runners jockeying for position and preparing for the home straight. We the spectators, inching slightly up from our seats, anticipating the finish and wondering if our chosen athletes had anything left in their legs.
I thought then and I still feel now that it was a perfect analogy from one of our very best posters. I wonder if you will indulge me as I stretch that metaphor to the section of the race when the finishing line is in sight. Can you even begin to imagine the spectators and supporters in an athletics stadium screaming abuse and throwing up their hands in horror, turning away in disgust to argue with those around them while the race is still in progress? Or stamping on their hats and wailing ‘It’s all over’ as the competitors charge flat out, neck and neck, giving it their all for the few remaining metres of the race? It’s a laughable scenario and one for which I apologise. They would of course be screaming and cheering and doing every last thing in the hope that by sheer effort of will they could encourage a tiny fraction more speed or stamina from their favourite.
This is where we are now in our season. It is absolutely the best part of the whole shebang. Every decision, miss-kick, flukey goal, each unpunished foul or arbitrary decision not to grant an appeal in any number of games is magnified and so very very significant. I even enjoy watching Spurs right now. Yep. And I know a whole load of other people watched the events unfold at the DW Stadium yesterday. But a glance at Twitter and doubtless in the comments section of various Arsenal blogs showed people putting themselves through some kind of self flagellating agony. An ecstasy of misery and convinced despair overwhelmed people, when they ought to have been enjoying a closing scene in the finest drama the Premier League has to offer.
Allow me to lift an example from a popular social networking site. The Spuds had been awarded a free kick on the edge of the Wigan penalty area. It was the last chance in a game of so much theatre and the pressure was on both sides desperate for a result at either end of the table. As the rest of us thrilled at this moment of decision an Arsenal fan groped for his keyboard and typed
Instead of sitting back and enjoying the final act in a totally unpredictable drama with goal mouth action at both ends, the lead changing hands, mistakes, skill, violence and bad haircuts this joker couldn’t wait to spread his negativity, so convinced was he that the Spuds would score. As it transpires they nearly did but didn’t quite and it was all terribly exciting. Also things ended with the right result for us with them dropping another two points in what is at best a faltering stumble down the back straight.
As the final whistle approached some people were even screaming for Wigan to defend, get back, hang on for the point. I loved the fact that quite to the contrary they wanted to and tried to and very nearly did win the game. After all, we wanted them to win didn’t we? We want our rivals to lose, surely? If you cannot enjoy the run in where so many teams have so much at stake and where other matches suddenly matter to us like never before then you can’t hope to enjoy competitive football at all.
So where does this all leave us? I’d say on a Sunday facing a four o’clock kick off against the newly crowned champions of the Premier League. In a game many think of in that loathsome, meaningless phrase; a ‘must win’. Which can only mean they already know Spuds and Chelsea’s results between now and the end of the season. Of course it’s a big game and one we most want to win. No game is bigger than Arsenal versus Man United. If both teams were safe from relegation but out of the running for European places it would still matter. It would still hurt more to lose than any other fixture. As such this is probably the only game of our ten cup finals where league points and positions and the impact on the final places is actually overshadowed by the bitterness and rivalry between the two clubs.
I’ve dealt with my detestation for them by pretending they don’t exist for the last few seasons. It’s been working like a charm. Whereas I used to be able to name their first team squad, with my lip curled and special vehemence reserved for particular bêtes noire, these days I actually don’t even know half of their first eleven. But of course,he is still there. No I don’t mean this generation’s Frank Stapleton. I mean the manager. The man who has consistently tried and failed to get under the skin of our infinitely more assured and intelligent talisman. The man so beloved by the British sporting establishment, an establishment which so despises us that we couldn’t fail but to wish ruin upon their darling.
I’m not going to bother with any more talk of honour guards or reactions to ex players, I made my position crystal clear on Thursday. In any case I know you’ll do all that in the comments section. I am however, in contradistinction to my modus operandi, going to force myself to watch the whole thing live. After all it is long overdue. Maybe I’ll like their new players. I hear someone called Cleverclogs is as good if not better than Jack Wilshere. It’ll be fascinating to see if that can be true. Also long overdue is us outplaying and beating them, but I don’t feel in the mood for rash predictions. Apart from anything else the pressure cooker our players are trying to perform in right now makes everything so difficult for them, add to that the disadvantage of being at home in front of people convinced we must fail and one can only foresee an uphill struggle.
I know we can do it, of course we can. I know this because Spuds beat Oil City against all the odds then dropped points to Wigan. Just because Man U have nothing to play for and will be easy and relaxed knowing their work this year is done, and we will be edgy and nervous with so much resting on the outcome doesn’t mean we are bound to lose. Football is an unpredictable game. Ask Blackburn, Bayern and Real Madrid. The crucial thing is we try to enjoy the three games after this one. Today we might enjoy the result, we cannot hope to enjoy much of the match with the poisonous red and black slime oozing over the pitch and befouling the sweet air of our lovely stadium. However we can put the visit of the evil one behind us after this afternoon and get back to enjoying the nail biting race for the finish line.
Remember it’s just a ride, and we bought a ticket because we hoped to enjoy the ride. So smile, sing shout and by all means swear but please spare us your endless doom ridden predictions of failure. Some of us will be trying to actually enjoy the entertainment.



United have selected what is probably their strongest team. It’s obvious Fergie wants to embarrass us. And the Dutch skunk obviously starts. I don’t think we will get from him what we got from Henry in 2009 when we played Barca. Henry came on around the 80th minute with the game level and did f all, losing possession all the time and having the work rate of your average teenage fast food joint employee. He clearly didn’t want to play against us and duly didn’t even make the squad for the return leg.
On the other hand, after those 8 years, skunky will be giving his all. F*ck him and all his claims about how much he respects the club and all that bull. We are winning this tonight and we are going to do it despite them playing their best team and giving full effort. COYG!
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So wise, steww. Did we pull Mo or Jess over the line by dissing them? And I laughed my head off at the candid snap of Slur Alex on the park bench.
The screamers and whiners are afraid, and anxious. I am nervous, but not because I think we’re crap and ManUre are wonderful, but because there is so much at stake. Supporting a team is an emotional rollercoaster and that is one of the reasons why football is so addictive. If you can’t stand the emotional heat, get out of the kitchen.
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I’m starting to become like Steww. I hate the red Mancs so much I may not even watch this game, even if they’re playing against us.
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Having read some comments, I hope nobody feels they are weak or pathetic for feeling stressed out and anxious – that’s natural – it’s the translation of that into abuse or loss of confidence in our squad/manager which I think is not on.
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Cracking 1st 11.
Now please, people – Passenal, G69, steww, SA, Paul_N, basically everyone who isn’t going to be at the game, please stay with me on the blog during the game. I’m begging you, don’t let me spend 2 hours talking to myself.
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Chelsea 2-0 up.
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Swansea capitulated. We need all the points.
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Let’s hope they have a sensational second half?
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Here we go
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Fuck yeah!!!!!!!!!
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Theoooooooooooooo!!!
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C*nt slips, we score. Fuck yeah!
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Ramsey showing Phil Jones what a real footballer looks like.
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Vermaelen is feeling better now.
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FG Im here with you but adding comments is tortuous on this phone. As good a start as we could hope for.
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Robin’s gone a little grey since I last saw him. Hope he’s not worried about anything.
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Fuck me Dowd is actually booking them. Wonder if they have a plan ‘B’?
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So Van Persie fouling BFG is BFG’s fault?
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I have never ever seen Theo get angry at another player. Evans must have said some nice things.
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They still keep kicking us despite Dowd making it clear he isn’t in the mood.
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Fuck Theo was unmarked.
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How does one say chocolate in Czech?
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Gainsy – I was thinking a similar thing!
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As much as I like watching the Mancs get booked, a card happy Phil Dowd makes me nervous.
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Fuck me what a stop.
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Gainsy we need consistency. If you book Theo for that trip then Robin must walk for his assault on The BFG.
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Who’s this Scottish guy on my stream? He seems to hate us. Now moaning because Szczesny is down after taking a ball to the face from about 2 yards out. Didn’t he know that something like that can kill a player? He should ask Fergie about it.
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Oh and it’s čokoláda noha by the way
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Best right back in the league.
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Right on queue innit?
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Bacary lays a massive egg.
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Oh Bac. One of our best and most experienced players. Hope he gets his head up. Needs some support now.
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Thanks Steww!
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I am going to become a doomer so I don’t jinx our players.
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Fantastic first half. Took it to them, outclassed them almost entirely. One simple mistake and they have an undeserved foothold in the match. Hope everyone in the stadium sings Bacary’s name and we come at them the same in the second half.
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If it had stayed 1:0 it would have been a really good half. We started perfectly, putting them under lots of pressure in the first 15 minutes and then slowed the tempo down, but always staying in control. The penalty, I think it was one, was rather unnecessary but I do know that we usually turn it up even more for the second half, so I am still confident we will win this. COYG!
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@ Evil April 28, 2013 at 4:40 pm
ha ha!
Ramsey outstanding, hope he isn’t knackering himself.
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We need to take it to Rafael. I don’t see why we’re letting him get away with being so shit.
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My Son in Law knows zero about football watched the replay of Bac’s tackle (to see what all the fuss I was making was about) and said “Sorry Stew I have to say he definitely trod on his foot, so it was a foul. Your guy is the one in white right?”
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45 minutes to put our stamp on the top 4…COYG!
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cant remember the boys tackling as hard as they have today, they really look up for it. as long as they all remain on the pitch we can do it..COYG
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And cheers, steww
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How did you let him marry your daughter, Steww?
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Mozart uffffffff
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Ooh, tomas going close?
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There aren’t many finer sights in sport than Tomáš Rosický in full flight
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Santi has been listening to what you said about Rafael.
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Gainsbourg69
April 28, 2013 at 5:06 pm
How did you let him marry your daughter, Steww?
Not quite technically son in law yet. He has ,as you’ve spotted, a few thinks to learn!
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Need to lift the crowd, things going a little flat.
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Time for crazy legs? Lukas looked a little sluggish when Aaron played him in then.
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