It’s fascinating and hilarious in equal measure how so many football fans are incapable of enjoying the most exciting months of the football calendar. Do you remember Zimpaul comparing a season with an 800m race? He suggested a few months back that we were approaching the final bend, runners jockeying for position and preparing for the home straight. We the spectators, inching slightly up from our seats, anticipating the finish and wondering if our chosen athletes had anything left in their legs.
I thought then and I still feel now that it was a perfect analogy from one of our very best posters. I wonder if you will indulge me as I stretch that metaphor to the section of the race when the finishing line is in sight. Can you even begin to imagine the spectators and supporters in an athletics stadium screaming abuse and throwing up their hands in horror, turning away in disgust to argue with those around them while the race is still in progress? Or stamping on their hats and wailing ‘It’s all over’ as the competitors charge flat out, neck and neck, giving it their all for the few remaining metres of the race? It’s a laughable scenario and one for which I apologise. They would of course be screaming and cheering and doing every last thing in the hope that by sheer effort of will they could encourage a tiny fraction more speed or stamina from their favourite.
This is where we are now in our season. It is absolutely the best part of the whole shebang. Every decision, miss-kick, flukey goal, each unpunished foul or arbitrary decision not to grant an appeal in any number of games is magnified and so very very significant. I even enjoy watching Spurs right now. Yep. And I know a whole load of other people watched the events unfold at the DW Stadium yesterday. But a glance at Twitter and doubtless in the comments section of various Arsenal blogs showed people putting themselves through some kind of self flagellating agony. An ecstasy of misery and convinced despair overwhelmed people, when they ought to have been enjoying a closing scene in the finest drama the Premier League has to offer.
Allow me to lift an example from a popular social networking site. The Spuds had been awarded a free kick on the edge of the Wigan penalty area. It was the last chance in a game of so much theatre and the pressure was on both sides desperate for a result at either end of the table. As the rest of us thrilled at this moment of decision an Arsenal fan groped for his keyboard and typed
Instead of sitting back and enjoying the final act in a totally unpredictable drama with goal mouth action at both ends, the lead changing hands, mistakes, skill, violence and bad haircuts this joker couldn’t wait to spread his negativity, so convinced was he that the Spuds would score. As it transpires they nearly did but didn’t quite and it was all terribly exciting. Also things ended with the right result for us with them dropping another two points in what is at best a faltering stumble down the back straight.
As the final whistle approached some people were even screaming for Wigan to defend, get back, hang on for the point. I loved the fact that quite to the contrary they wanted to and tried to and very nearly did win the game. After all, we wanted them to win didn’t we? We want our rivals to lose, surely? If you cannot enjoy the run in where so many teams have so much at stake and where other matches suddenly matter to us like never before then you can’t hope to enjoy competitive football at all.
So where does this all leave us? I’d say on a Sunday facing a four o’clock kick off against the newly crowned champions of the Premier League. In a game many think of in that loathsome, meaningless phrase; a ‘must win’. Which can only mean they already know Spuds and Chelsea’s results between now and the end of the season. Of course it’s a big game and one we most want to win. No game is bigger than Arsenal versus Man United. If both teams were safe from relegation but out of the running for European places it would still matter. It would still hurt more to lose than any other fixture. As such this is probably the only game of our ten cup finals where league points and positions and the impact on the final places is actually overshadowed by the bitterness and rivalry between the two clubs.
I’ve dealt with my detestation for them by pretending they don’t exist for the last few seasons. It’s been working like a charm. Whereas I used to be able to name their first team squad, with my lip curled and special vehemence reserved for particular bêtes noire, these days I actually don’t even know half of their first eleven. But of course,he is still there. No I don’t mean this generation’s Frank Stapleton. I mean the manager. The man who has consistently tried and failed to get under the skin of our infinitely more assured and intelligent talisman. The man so beloved by the British sporting establishment, an establishment which so despises us that we couldn’t fail but to wish ruin upon their darling.
I’m not going to bother with any more talk of honour guards or reactions to ex players, I made my position crystal clear on Thursday. In any case I know you’ll do all that in the comments section. I am however, in contradistinction to my modus operandi, going to force myself to watch the whole thing live. After all it is long overdue. Maybe I’ll like their new players. I hear someone called Cleverclogs is as good if not better than Jack Wilshere. It’ll be fascinating to see if that can be true. Also long overdue is us outplaying and beating them, but I don’t feel in the mood for rash predictions. Apart from anything else the pressure cooker our players are trying to perform in right now makes everything so difficult for them, add to that the disadvantage of being at home in front of people convinced we must fail and one can only foresee an uphill struggle.
I know we can do it, of course we can. I know this because Spuds beat Oil City against all the odds then dropped points to Wigan. Just because Man U have nothing to play for and will be easy and relaxed knowing their work this year is done, and we will be edgy and nervous with so much resting on the outcome doesn’t mean we are bound to lose. Football is an unpredictable game. Ask Blackburn, Bayern and Real Madrid. The crucial thing is we try to enjoy the three games after this one. Today we might enjoy the result, we cannot hope to enjoy much of the match with the poisonous red and black slime oozing over the pitch and befouling the sweet air of our lovely stadium. However we can put the visit of the evil one behind us after this afternoon and get back to enjoying the nail biting race for the finish line.
Remember it’s just a ride, and we bought a ticket because we hoped to enjoy the ride. So smile, sing shout and by all means swear but please spare us your endless doom ridden predictions of failure. Some of us will be trying to actually enjoy the entertainment.
Positively Arsenal 
Morning all!
Big day, big game and a suitably big contribution from our own No10 (isn’t that what Mel.com calls Stew?!).
Great read and many great points. Heartily agree with you in respect of the most irritating pronouncements on it being ‘a must win game’.
Whilst I’d be happy with a draw, being honest, the value of a win today against the new champions is all but incalculable. Aside from the points and kudos, the boost to the squad and everyone connected to the club would be massive. It would likely generate unstoppable momentum into top three but the tangible benefits going into the dreaded summer break would have myriad positive spin-offs, including that of making the task of attracting new players that little bit easier.
Losing would not be the end of the world, though it would be presented as such by some. My own expectations are for an edgy, cautious first half where we avoid conceding ahead of going ahead and then go all out for it in the second period.
We have home advantage and some say we are favourites to win.
The contribution of our sometimes flakey 12th man could prove pivotal.
But there have been occasions at the Emirates when the crowd have done us proud. The Barcelona game being possibly the best example of the sleeping giant finally awakening – and with devastating effect.
I’m still amazed at the late timing of kick-off and firmly believe a largely alcohol-fuelled section of the fans will simply go nuts for the side. I suspect the antipathy towards our greatest rivals and the bare hatred of those that have gone before will find expression in a roof-raising rallying roar which will find little let-up for the full 90 minutes (plus Fergie-time).
Have managed to get myself organised enough to be there, hopefully fortified with something marginally stronger than tea or Bovril.
It really has the potential to be the game of the season.
With a fair wind and an even-handed referee, let’s all do as Stew suggests – enjoy the bloody thing!
Good luck everyone.
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You cheeky person you
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Andrew – that comment was better than the post! Sadly, right at the end you say “With a fair wind and an even-handed referee,” remember Newcastle?
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Morning George
*said a voice hiding behind the sofa*
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Morning, darn. Posted and lost it in some weird (but frustratingly familiar) technical error/glitch/pc shenanigans.
effectively said, Nice post again Steww. The randomnly selected twitterer ably demonstrates the ‘fear’ that most of us have that is in itself part of the enjoyment of the whole thing.
I’ll be in my seat today as always knowing that everytime we don’t have the ball and they do that the inevitable goal is coming… until it doesn’t and we get the ball back. I am fully aware that games don’t end 37-0 but that doesn’t stop me thinking 37 times that they will score.
It’s why I love it so much, the uncertainty and the delicious masochistic risk of failure repeatedly through 90 minutes makes it all worthwhile and brings us all back year after year.
That was longer than the lost post I just summarised.
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Brilliant Stew – days like today the Emirates will be pumped up and roaring – at the start
And barring accidents all the way through
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Otherwise Arseblagger will be in charge tomorrow
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Great post, love the Fergie picture. We should really enjoy this and I can’t wait for kick off. If its close I know the last 25 minutes will be unbearable and if we get the wrong result I will be grumpy
Still it’s a nice day and we’ve got a chance to stuff them
COYG
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Nacho or Kieran to start? Nacho
Tomas or Jack ? Tomas
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I half agree with you ,anicoll5
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Nice one steww…
Szcz
Sagna-Per-Kos-Gibbs
Rosicky-Arteta-Rambo
Theo-Gerv-Santi
+Vito, Verm, Nacho, Jack, Ox, Poldi, AA.
COYG!!!
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“Today we might enjoy the result, we cannot hope to enjoy much of the match with the poisonous red and black slime oozing over the pitch and befouling the sweet air of our lovely stadium.”
Ha ha, such a wonderful turn of phrase! I love your work steww
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Aythangyoo
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Lovely stuff Steww
Where in the hell did you find that picture of me enjoying a few light beverages? not to worry. I hope can enjoy a few more tonight. In celebration….
ARSENAL
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I think so Anicoll.
Its not even close between Jack(injured or no fit) and Tomas.
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I would play Gibbs if Podolski was to start on the left.But I dont think he will.
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Brilliant number 10, I admire your balls of steel when it comes to watching us but I’m afraid George tweeted what I was thinking!, I was on my way walking up to the high street with the family for some supper ignoring them talking to me listening to 5live at the Wigan/spurs game, when that free kick fizzled out and the whistle went I caught a reflection of myself in a shop window punching the air in delight,football turns perfectly rational easy going people into nutters or nervous wrecks! Hope he starts this lot today- szec-sagna koz per Gibbs- ma8 Rambo tr7-Santi, pod, the ox, COYG!
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Last minute shout out to any who might be there. Any particular watering hole you might be found in pre game? Would be nice to say hello over a pint… Any pub in the area good for me. given last home game is a Tuesday evening today lst realistic chance for me to meet a fellow positivista or two til next season.
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We gooners lost a great fan yesterday to a bloody heart attack. Bob Dodds and I started primary school back in 1947 and fought like cat and dog until we found out that we both supported Arsenal. As well as wanting a gooner win, let’s win this one for the memory of Bob.
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RIP to your friend and fellow gooner gf.
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Morning all.
Here’s hoping for a great game and result for the RED&WHITE today.
. WOJO
BACARY. SACKER. KOSHER. GIBBS
. AARON. ARTETTA ?
. TOMAS
THEO. 3GS
PRINCE POLDI
BENCH. TV. DON VITO.. AA. SANTI. JENKS.
RIP. BOB.
ALL GOONERS go to ARSENAL HAVEN..
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Lol
Nice picture of Ferret Face Ferguson..
Nice write up STEWW.
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TRUE GOONERS .that is.
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Santi on the bench Kam?
Radical
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There is more chance of me being on the bench
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I am fucking excited!
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Amazing post steww, got me pumped!
To the 60,000 plus at the stadium, i want the commentators to be drowned out.
To the players, come on guys. Run rings around these fuckers!! (and score)
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This match should be all about us. Ignore the distractions and sideshows and just support the team. We can hurt them far more by ensuring our boys are properly motivated and roared on as opposed to trying to rile them up.
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George, you were asking yesterday if any of us would like to talk about our favourite players. I would like to talk about Per. I am busy now though. I can write for one of the days after the season is over.
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Steww,
Thanks for the reminder to stay positive, whatever happens today.
I’m afraid I popped my head into a bar yesterday to see the latics v spuds and like doomer George I felt that the Tottenham arsonists were going to nick it at the end. I was screaming at the telly that the 2 frees were dodgy, and then screaming at the telly, trying to coach Wigan to put a man on the right post for the last free kick from pg tips.
Then I realised I was in a bar with a bunch of bitter spuddies (IS there any other kind?).
Hey, worst thing that can happen is Europa league next season and I think we have some unfinished business in that cup competition, obviously I’d prefer the CL and making the semis next season. If a well run good footballing club like Dortmund can so it, so can we.
Stay classy, North London 5!
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brilliant post again ( number 10 ) just goes to prove you are such a well rounded person, however as many have indicated in posts their are a lot of bitter and twisted souls still out there. The spuds will always be the game I feel we have to win the most and being like George enjoying a game involving them where they are not losing with players sent off and injured and being abused by their own fans is difficult.
Today however is important that the twelfth man roars our team to victory ill will try not to get the hump with people around me if things are not going well.
now that I have a mentor as wise as number 10 I will try an enjoy the game.
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Never thought an article like this would appear on this site, with it being solely focused on all things Arsenal, but I’m one of them that will watch any old game, in fact I just got back from the park with the boy after kicking ball and watching some form of aerial combat that passes for Sunday league footie, whilst trying to explain to my boy that the ball belongs on the deck.
Anyway thanks for the read and agree with the animosity directed towards all thing Mancunian (I hate the f*uckers). I have a good feeling about today’s game.
Respect to the Dodds family.
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Steww – You did it again. Is there, arguably, a better writer on any blog?
My only problem today is all the good comments have been made already. What can I add? That I differ with Steww on his steely determination to be detached from the emotional highs and lows. TBH, as we come down the homestretch, I can feel the hot, desperate air and jealous determination of the lilywhite cunts over our shoulders. The spectre of them winning at Wigan due to a phantom free-kick as nonplussed as I tried, was enough to make my hands tremble on my Tablet as I typed. Am I weak?
gf60 – My condolences at the passing of your friend and fellow gooner. Hopefully it had nothing to do with the game.
One last point. I am certain our boys will be up for this game today. Nothing like that nervous timorous performance at Old Trashford in the reverse fixture earlier in the season. Another thing I am certain is the Ems will be a roaring cauldron galvanised by the treachery and deceit of Van Skunk.
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Sensational Arsenal,I have sent you an Email
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Shotta, There is no doubt Stew is the best writer in our gooner world.
And that is quite something given that among the dross there are exceptional writers.
Talking about exceptional writers,Where is Frank?
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George @ 1:16 pm – Is that an invitation to argue with you? Thanks but no thanks.
PS: Frank must be prettying up his horses before they parade down to the Ems.
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Shotta,it will be a cold day in Hell when I argue with you my friend.
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Now look George, I can see what you’re doing. I use and abuse you in an unforgivable way on the blog and you, instead of launching the kind of ferocious attack we all expected, shower me with kindness and compliments.It’s a brilliant tactic and I am duly shamed by it.
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Yes.george. Santi on the bench at the start. Might come on in second half depending on how things are going.
Just be glad I didn’t put TV at DM and pushed ARTETTA to sore advanced position to play with TOMAS. what can I say
o like to experiment and TV has all the right mix for a great. DM. ARTETTA also is a hell o a AM in his early years. I think I comes to him naturaly.
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Todays game is bigger and more important than Bayern game.
If we play anything like we did that day Man Utd will leave the Grove battered and bruised and broken.
COYG!
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Reading vs QPR
Two bald men fighting over a comb.
Pity, I liked McDermott – former gunner and all. Shows a panic sacking makes no difference.
If QPR aren’t down today, we get a chance to put ‘array down next game.
Will miss the Derby games though.
So much for all those ,massive, players he bought in. Which weblog was screaming for us to have bought some of that dross in last winter? Shame.
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Arshavin 23
Of course you mean the Away Bayern game, don’t you.?!
We can’t afford a slow first 15mins where our defenders get caught cold from the start of the game. If we hold off the first attacks against us, we will steady ourselves and get back into the game.
we should be going full throttle from the start ourselves today, no fucking handbrakes this time.
I’m off to watch the match, see you all later.
Arsene Wenger’s Red and White Army!! COYG.
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d/c @ 1:59 pm
I think they were jizzing over all those French players that Pardew bought last window, that shower of shite who can’t defend if their lives depended on it. Some dude among them was the new Yaya ToureApparently Wenger had lost his eye for talent.
Loic Remy of QPR was supposed to be reincarnation of TH14.
I just got sick and tired of the fookery.
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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/matt/
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I hope we sign Remy
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any particular reason you rate him George? I havent seen him. Some people were saying QPR had got a really good player.
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Well he has been scoring at a goal every other game playing for a super shit team,He has pace and composure and can hold the ball up.A good deal of close control and awareness.
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ah. ok
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SA did you get my Email?
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Rambo & Chambo (off the bench?) to score today please yea footballing furies.
Nothing to do with them having rejected the cheatin’ Mancs. Nope.
Come on the Arsenal!
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