After the entertainment of the Tiny Totts featuring Adebayor’s Scooby-Doo impression, and following on from the Meerkat’s tears over Arshavin and his imminent departure, we have a football match to contemplate. Norwich City will be making the journey through the desolate flat Anglian wastelands, down the M11 and into the big smoke. I have mixed 
memories of Norwich, both the city and the football club. A friend of mine went to university there , fell in love, married and never came home. My wife and I went to visit him and his spouse but they made us play Trivial Pursuit so we never went back. To be fair, it is a five hour drive as well, so I think I can be forgiven. A happier memory was my visit to the Coleman’s Mustard museum which really was surprisingly interesting. I strongly suspect a love of mustard is a prerequisite to finding anything at all to fascinate the casual visitor to Norwich’s premier tourist attraction but it is surely better to be famous for a fiery yellow condiment that Sale Of The Century.
More recently I have had occasion to visit Carrow Road, home of this afternoon’s match day visitors. It is a splendid little stadium, really quite chic and situated within sight of the Cathedral rather than in some hideous shopping complex next to a phalanx of roundabouts and bypasses. Yes Reading we’re all looking at you. Unusually I hadn’t made the long and incredible tedious drive from Somerset to the home of Norwich to watch them play. I’d have been bloody disappointed if I had as they were actually away from home that day beating Swansea in what was by all accounts a thrilling seven goal stonker in which Norwich were 0 – 3 up at half time and ended up 3 – 4 winners. This game was the tenth in a very useful unbeaten run and I’m sure none of you will need reminding that in their previous fixture Swansea had beaten us two nil so for the Canaries to go and turn over an in form team in their own back yard was no mean feat.
Included in that run Norwich had racked up victories against us, Man U, The Tiny Totts (league cup), and an away draw at Goodison so I think it’s fair to suggest that they were in a fine run of form. Things never really got that good again for them and, neatly underlining how important consistency is to any side, they come to the Emirates today after a mish mash of some truly horrible defeats mixed in with some low scoring draws. They are a team that you simply cannot predict.
For me Norwich isn’t just synonymous with Mustard, Nicholas Parsons,Delia and Stephen Fry. It holds, footballistically, some great memories. Does anyone recall their improbable march into Europe in the early days of the Premier League? I’m not saying it was my Kennedy Assassination moment or anything but the unlikely match up of Norwich City and Bayern Munich is one of those non Arsenal football events that has always stayed with me.Of course those were more innocent days. We used to support any British team taking on continental opposition and the more David and Goliath like the encounter the better. Norwich of course didn’t have a hope in hell. Unlike when we went on our own jaunt to Germany recently when I was telling anyone who would listen that we would win, it was just a matter of by how many, I honestly didn’t give the plucky young pretenders from the far East a cats chance. Well they went on to surprise me and just about everyone else except their manager Mike Walker. Matt (or Luke – I forget which) Goss scored a hell of a goal, Bryan Gunn performed heroics in the Norwich goal and they took a 2 – 1 lead back to blighty for the home leg which they drew and thus booted out one of the favourites to win the competition. Sadly for our visitors that was as good as it got Internatzionale beat them in the next round and went on to win the cup and Norwich were relegated from the Prem the following season.
The other football memory I have of Norwich was a rare televised live match on a beautiful bank holiday weekend which I watched in a caravan on the cliffs above Durdle Door in Dorset. It was that season. Hillsborough was still a raw and shocking news story only two weeks old, and we were three points clear of Liverpool who had a game in hand. Norwich were third and as such this was a vital must win game. That we won with aplomb by five clear goals wasn’t quite as important to me as it ought to have been. The fact was that I was blissfully in love with a young and staggeringly beautiful woman who not only bore more than a passing resemblance to Debby Harry but had agreed to come with me to the Dorset Coast for a weekend of wild romance and caravan based abandon. I don’t think she’d bargained for Arsenal versus Norwich but whenever we play them I am always reminded of lust and love among the surf and pebbles and the tune of Sunday Girl.
Anyway before I’m crippled by nostalgia, I ought maybe to explain just why I was at Carrow Road last December. My band had been hired to play at a surprise 40
th birthday party for a Norwich season ticket holder and we were set up in one of their swanky and frankly over priced bars. It wasn’t Delia’s restaurant but for a boy brought up on the piss soaked terraces of Eastville it was still an eye opener. I suppose I’d spontaneously combust on entering the Emirates, how you lucky people who go there regularly cope with it I’ll never know. The mistake the very nice people at Carrow Road made was giving us a directors box to use as a changing room. You just don’t let musicians anywhere other than on the stage, and certainly not in any area out of your eyesight. We of course made full use of the facilities and had a good wander around the stadium, easily accessed from our lofty vantage point.
That’s me at the back buggering the sax player. Well it turned out to be our last ever gig together for reasons into which I shall not go, but suffice it to say having a Spud as lead singer didn’t help. Arsenal beat West Brom 2 – 0 on that December day and went on to win their following three league matches adding 13 to their ‘goals for’ column in the process. A repeat over the next three matches would be very welcome.
Anyhow, as we look forward to Cup Final Number Four, I’m going to go and stick on a Blondie album and remember past glories. I might even think about football.
Positively Arsenal 
Oh, I should have said if you want line up speculation, platitudes and injury news you just read the wrong blog – sorry! Try this one instead http://www.arsenal.com/match/report/1213/pre/first-team/arsenal-v-norwich
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Great stuff, Stew. I didn’t know you were in Madness. Thats awesome. 😉 A sly reference to the Bros twins (Drop the boy, anyone?) didn’t go undetected. A fun read. Pity a man can’t have sex in the same caravan twice. (Or whatever it was that Heraclitus said…) Nostalgia ruled, OK.
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Invinciblog April 13, 2013 at 8:49 am :
You get double bonus points for picking up on the Bros reference. I was convinced some dope would correct me on getting Goss’s name wrong.
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How lucky you are Steww to have happy memorries of Norwich. My abiding memory (despite all the wins/fun/fisticuffs subsequently) is my first and only entry to the Clock End. Norwich, 3rd Div South from memory, were our passport through to the next round of the cup. Doug Lishman sent off…we lose 2-1. Mid 1950’s and never ever did I go to the Clock End again…it brought bad vibes. :o)
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gf60 April 13, 2013 at 9:14 am
Sadly not all football related memories can be joyous ones.
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Not only did the Bros allusion pass me by, so did the “Live from Norwich” reference. I must have somehow missed out on Sale of the Century. But thanks (in this week above all) for the mention of Nicholas Parsons, Grantham’s second most illustrious octogenarian (after Isaac Newton).
Oh, and the football. Well, it’s one of those fateful matches where, however much we might try to avoid tempting providence, deep down we’re all expecting to win. It’s on days like this that I remind myself of what poker players call “variance”.
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. I suppose I’d spontaneously combust on entering the Emirates, how you lucky people who go there regularly cope with it I’ll never know.
id fall down and cry for the first 10 minutes i think..
i was on the phone yesterday with ticket sales at emirates…50 pound deposit and 2825 the chepaest seson ticket ( corner seating) for club level memebership…..first i book the flat in hoxton/barbican/angel and second action will be that ticket…unless anyone knows a cheaper way..much appreciated..
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george ….next season there will be ninjas in the stands…
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Jack Kerouac does football – I like it Stew
Train pulling out from Lynn 50/50 Arsenal Nawridge – time we get to Finsbury Park the Righteous Horde will outnumber 10-1
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anicoll.. you go to matches right? can you give me a clue about what its like at club level? is it too cosmopolitan ? can we stand up and swear at tottenham in those seats or will people tell me to sit down please..
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Never been in club level Hunter – too expensive but it looks pretty dead to me
I say that cos 10 minutes after the second half has kicked off at least half club level are still not back in their seats !
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Never seen anyone stand up tbh in Club level
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Hunter
I sometimes get club level tickets. It’s different people every time. It tends to be a little quieter and some people are more interested in the free bar at halftime. Not sure it’s worth the extra money
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No wonder in my youth I had dreams of being a musician. Wine, women and … football.
Thanks Steww, not being an Anglo, I missed the finer points but its well worth a read.
As for today’s game, nothing less tham 3 points will do.
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Any post that begins with a young Debbie Harry and goes on with such fine language, is going to sit well with me. A thoroughly enjoyable read, Stew. The standard of your writing is just first-rate.
Bravo, my good man.
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What is a platitude? Do I need one? Does it have to have a Duckbill?
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Platitude is the name for the swagger one may acquire from having their hair braided.
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Come on Arsenal!
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We have started very well, pressuring them all over the pitch. Especially Aaron looks like he is really up for it. How much fighting spirit can one single player have?
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I wouldn’t want to play against Ramsey tonight. He is everywhere.
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Its not exactly what I was hoping for
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Thank f*ck for that. Didn’t get a penalty earlier, now it’s 1:1.
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Fuck me. Tugs can’t be called penalties and the Lino on the far side can’t make a fucking decision. This Tony Gale is a fucking idiot.
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2:1!!!!!!! Girooooooooooooooooooooo~
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Time wasting now, boys.
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@Gains
Oh my, you are so right. And Gale has been going on about it for the last several minutes. What an annoying bastard he is. His commentating has been awful all game long.
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Come on!!!!!!!
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He’s horrible, Evil. It took every cliche he could muster to excuse away a clear tug in the box.
Poldiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
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3:1. YES!
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Oh Yeh!
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Who the heck is Tony Gale? what a load of rubbish from him. It is refreshing to see a lino help out the ref correctly.
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What the fuck is technically a foul? It’s a foul or it’s not a foul. It’s amazing how these bastards are trying to make it seem as if there wasn’t a foul even when there was one.
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and the Norwich players have no shame, that was a stone wall pen.
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@Gains
As far as I understand their argument, because the referee didn’t see it but the linesman saw it, it shouldn’t have been a penalty, because, well, the referee didn’t see it. Or something like that. Doesn’t matter, they can chirp on about as long as they want, we deserved to win this game and we have done so. The view is quite nice from up here!
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Tony Gail is gutted .
He says it was a foul in the box but does not think the linesman should have given it?
We were pretty poor .
But good spirit at the end and a great 3 points
4 cup finals won ,6 to go COYR
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We did not play anywhere close to our best and scored 3 goals…I’m good with that.
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If that had happened to Man U it would have been business as usual. Since it was us, all of a sudden the Lino shouldn’t get involved and tugs are usually not called. What fresh heck is that? It’s nuts how these idiots go out of their way to discredit us.
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Madness in TNOF!
Finsbury’s live and instant match report: Yeaaaaaaaarrrghhhhhhh! Yes!
Get. In.
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OG was voted MOTM on fox soccer, good for him.
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Referee tried to cheat us but linesman said NO! Shame he’s going to lose his job now, but good man!
Victory!!!!
All the sweeter for those cheating bastards!! We were so much more superior, but the cheats made the game a challenge by letting Norwich get away with…well EVERYTHING.
VICTORY!!! Ahahahahahaah!!!
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The damage is done, though, Georgie. Gale’s stupidity put in question the linesman role as a legitimate referee and he gave cheaters an out by telling them it’s totally cool to tug shirts in the box. Put it this way, thanks to Gale there will be fewer linos sticking their necks out to make ballsy calls like those. The FA should reprimand idiots like Gale, given how they are the ones representing the league all over the world.
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This lino should be commended, not given grief.
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I agree, Gains, about Gale being reprimanded by the FA. Dude is a clown,
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Evil, then they moan about poor referees and how bad calls bring the game into disrepute. But when a ref makes a pinpoint accurate call, he gets bitched at for being too harsh. I understand Norwich are the British underdog, but that tug was a legitimate penalty. It’s not like Giroud did a Stevie G or a Garreth Bale. Getting a penalty for a non foul really would have been harsh.
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Hello my peeps. What a victory today! What a comeback! What an amazing team! What an amazing manager! Most of all, what an amazing Aaron Ramsey!
Aaron is my MOTM at the dot com.
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Thank God for that! Norwich tried every dirty trick in the book to try to hold on to that undeserved lead. But thankfully the linesman had his eyes open and spotted the handball. I bet it burned the referee to have to give it after he had done his level best to give the Norwich players every possible advantage he could. But this Arsenal team mean business and will not go down without a fight. Arsene got his subs spot on today!
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Sorry PaulN but a big F*CK OFF to Tony Gale. He was coaching Norwich to win from the very start. He is devastated because the lino saw the clear tug on Giroud’s shirt, pulling him to the ground. Moaning like a drain. Such a damn hypocrite. can you imagine if his beloved ManU got the call. He would be singing the praises of the lino.
I am freakin happy he is so devastated.
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Young Gervinho had a mare today. If he doesn’t tighten up he’ll have to make way for the Ox or another young winger.
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Did Gibbs even foul that guy for the free kick?
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I’m at the game, I thought the penalty was for the handball that I saw it that sequence of play? If it was a tug we should have had another one in the first half when I thought OG was held and wrestled to the ground just as he took a shot. I also spotted a couple of other times where he was impeded in the box at corners, so the one we did get was more than justice.
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