The second and final part of the guest post from Poznan In My Pants (PIMP), part one of which appeared on Positively Arsenal on Monday
Exhibit A Of How To Criticise: Tim Stillman
Being constructively critical while striving to be positive is a duty of supporters, in my opinion.
It’s a form of leadership. In fact, let me give you Exhibit A by Tim Stillman: As We Forgive Those… , a pretty critical post on Arseblog that I recently. And while I feel it was harsh in the assessment of the talent in our team, I thought it was superbly written, thoughtful, balanced, and not without an element of problem-solving as well as leaving open the possibility of hope. It might be my favourite critical blog of this season. I don’t know if Tim was striving to be positive, per se, but he clearly strives to maintain perspective.
And one of my favourite things about Tim is that he continually reminds us that football is something you should enjoy regardless of your standing in the league, any league.
Some people seem to treat Arsenal as a self-help group where you unburden yourself of all your angst and traumas whilst burdening the poor therapist who has to listen to your shit (ie the rest of us). This is football. If you can’t fucking keep it together when it’s about your football team, how are you going to hack it back in the real world. Man up, you pussy.
If you can’t come out with 3 or more genuine positives about supporting Arsenal for every negative you express, you might not be a realist. You may in fact be a downer, and you should seriously consider adjusting your ratio for the sake of yourself and the rest of us, though I will grant you that Arsenal doesn’t always make it easy for you.
And then again, Arsenal, or in this case @arsenal, provide reasons to enjoy being a supporter every day. Take, for example, this Gooner:
Her joy at hearing that her beloved Arsenal would be coming to her country, Vietnam, in the summer, was matched only by our joy at what kind of other names these Vietnamese Gooners might have.
The Terror
I notice that the new Sport du Jour is to find some previously unexamined flaw of the manager or his team to add to their already lengthy list of crimes against Goonerdom. But it’s getting seriously out of hand right now, akin to the French Terror of 1793-94, you know, when they mounted guillotines on the back of carts to dispense quick justice across the land. (The Frenchies of “The Terror” could teach modern day commerce a thing or two about speedy customer service and convenience.)
And right now, no player but Jack W is safe from us. The great crime of our age is mediocrity, and every player is accused of it. The squad in general is accused of it.
And right now, some Sans Culottes have most likely broken into Arsene’s laundry room and are inspecting their way through his dirty undies. No crime is left unpunished these days. It is getting extreme in the extreme. There is no achievement of Arsene that cannot be chiseled away at, undermined or even attributed to another. I have recently debated with twitteratti as to whether the Emirates Stadium was a vanity project; whether Arsene receives far too much credit for the Invincibles; and whether Arsene has ever won anything with a squad of players that were 100% signed by him. (I actually don’t know. Has Mourinho? Has Pep? Possibly only SAF has.). The manager’s achievements are being steadily down-graded. I would imagine it feels easier to guillotine someone once you have diminished them entirely.
Maybe You Will Listen To Gary Neville?
We all seem to rate Gary Neville highly at this point. He has been part of a winning club, a winning team and has been coached by a great manager. And, as he said himself, he is no lover of Arsenal. But let me answer the above with this:
And also…
He says we should feel grateful. Are we feeling grateful? Or are we feeling screwed over?
You will also remember that he rated our squad highly at the start of the season, as did many of us. The prevailing view was that we were just a couple of top players short. I think that’s still true today.
Now where was I? Oh yes…
I Saw A Puppy…
I saw a puppy playing in the park today. It was gamboling. I was about to go over and reprimand it since only lambs are supposed to gambol when all of a sudden it stopped gamboling altogether and lay down. It took on a depressed and melancholic aspect. You could tell. It was clear from its aura that, where just moments before it was full of play and puppiness, it had suddenly been overwhelmed by a crushing existential angst, a stark awareness of its own mortality and the fragility of life in general, the inevitability of its aging leading inexorably to slow decay, a debilitating illness and an excruciating death.
Let me tell you, that killed the mood in the children’s play area nearby.
I tried to coax the puppy out of his stupor. I threw a ball. Nothing. I tossed a stick and shouted “fetch.” Nothing. I got down on all fours and attempted to gambol. Nothing. I sniffed his nether regions, as dogs do, and then offered up my own nethers for sniffing. Jean-Paul Sartre could not have been more ennuied than this puppy.
But to be fair, who could argue with this puppy about where his life was headed? No one. He was right. After all, life doesn’t end well for any of us. He was just being realistic.
And so, in the end, for every one of us, it all comes down to whether you are a glass half empty of diseased and decaying puppy kind of person, or a glass half full of gamboling in the park puppy kind of person. Choose carefully. And re-choose it often.
Gooner Puppies
We are in the quarter-finals of the NextGen and it will be played at the Ems. These are our Gooner puppies gamboling about the park. I hope we sell every last fucking seat out and give the young lads a backing that blows their socks off.
It won’t be long until life crushes the joy out of these young faces, too
For every one of the players, it will be a once in a lifetime experience. And I hope we all remember what enjoying our football is all about, win, lose or draw…you know, just before we all age, contract diseases and die.
There! I told you this blog was about the NextGen.
UP THE ARSENAL!
I’d like to dedicate this post to Anna Lvova, @madruskigunner, one of the joys of twitter, as well as her wonderful @AFCphotobank account which might be my favourite thing on twitter. You can find me on Twitter @posnaninmypants.
Positively Arsenal 
pimp = transfer of the season. well done manager and coaching stuff !
and it is really depressing that gary neville shows a lot more brains and respect and character than some of our fans…cant stand him…but he talks correctly…
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How can Garry Neville get it and you can’t, you short term thinking dumb fucks???
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would you say that the fans shameful behaviour sucked the joy out of the first crop that was tasked to carry the club through repayment phase ? the cesc denislon clichy nasri lot ? … what if the fans behaviour has sucked wenger;s joy of coaching arsenal or even staying in england? its one thing when the media do it, quite another when your own fans are doing it. have the media and the rivals tauntings managed to divide fans and club ? what does that say about the arsenal fan’s backbone? the fan of a “big club” does not throw tantrums because of trophyless years when the priority is to repay stadium.
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heh g69. gary has played the game..knows the importance of academies, and respects wenger since he has faced his football. realises the difficulties of what arsenal set out to do and takes his hat off at wenger’s bravery to compete in the epl in the 21st century and in the champions league with kids that werent old enough to shave yet….
i wonder if our fans realised the symbolism of wenger;s jiggy dance when he got past porto (was it?) for the last 4 in europe a few seasons ago…
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This PIMP is truly class. All points checked. Pity this message will be lost on those to whom it truly matters. For those of us who are already committed to this transformation of Arsenal into one of the truly great football clubs, Poznan’s well crafted message is very reaffirming.
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“I like your hat,
your face is ugly
but your top is nice”
Doh!
Now I know where it all went wrong. Flattery will get you nowhere they said.
Pffffffffffffffffft.
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Nice one PIMP.
ARSENAL
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Another excellent post P.I.M.P.
One good thing about your use of the ‘Terror’ in France was in the end the Sans Culottes disbanded and relative normality returned. Here’s hoping it happens to those depressed ‘fans’ out there.
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I always hated Neville as a player, but he certainly knows his football. I remember him saying how United wound arsenal up by getting stuck in and horrible as it was I think he was correct.
The article mentions 3 positives for 1 negative. I am new here but will take a chance and throw in a negative. I will defend myself by stating that I can come up with a much better positive ratio.
Throughout the Wenger dynasty, he has built teams that have been fantastic to watch and have won by outclassing the opposition (Henry, Berkkamp, Pires, Ljunberg, Vieira. Etc). Whilst the current team is developing it hey have a little way to go to catch their money rich opposition. When Arsenal try to beat the better teams by playing the beautiful game they are sometimes beaten from a tactical standpoint. I think sometimes the team needs to win ugly (ala Gary Neville)
The reason I mention this is I don’t believe the current team can win in Munich by playing beautiful football. I don’t know what Bayerns Achilles heel is, but I think we need to exploit it ( maybe
Giroud needs to tell the keeper he slept with his wife).
Don’t get me wrong I love the beautiful game but sometimes you need alternatives
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Arsenal need to win by three clear goals so however they play they’ll need to score plenty. We have a reference: Last seasons Home game against Milan. If they start with the same power and fearlessness, bag an early goal or two who knows!
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Looks like players that have been playing through niggles are going to be rested in Munchen.
Possibly no Sagna, no Little Jacky, no Golden Poldi.
Chamberlain? Rosicky!
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PIPM ,is not a transfer ,he just did us a favour.For which I am very grateful.
He has his own blog site and if you find it there are some wonderful articles in the archives
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and some wonderful photomontage too ..the apaches still split my stomach in half…
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How do you win ugly playing Wengerball?
Perhape you play as if its a gurning contest rather than a football match.
No ,you don’t try to win ugly,you simply play better.
If yo were to revert to plan B every time plan A wasn’t working we would never get to see things like the second half against WestHam and Liverpool
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Wigan didn’t play ugly to be three up by HT against Everton. They played well!
A plundit came out with a classic line that Wigan only start to play properly after March. Maybe so, but they can play at times. And that’s what has saved them these past seasons.
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Madame Therese De Farge – a woman whose needles will be clicking furiously should any less than three points come back from Swansea
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Poznan’a archive is well worth a visit and for me he is one of the best creative footballer writers around, inventive, provocative and original.
Hopefully we can persuade him back from time to time!
I think I know what Bob means by winning ugly – it’s not the abandonment of Wengerball per se but maybe a greater willingness to become a tad more direct. For example, few teams make a habit of dashing to the byline and cutting back in but when they do it, it causes chaos no matter how big the parked buses are! And with players like Theo and Bacary, Gibbs and I think Nacho, we have players more than capable of doing this.
I also loathed Gary Neville as a player although he was 100% committed to his team so I had respect for him on that score. But as a commentator I can only stand back and admire his work – he’s just not bothered about following any lazy party line on anything and is his own man on all issues.
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Not to forget the Vengeance & Jacques
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its nto so much as winning ugly as showing a bit of experience
clichy was hit by ball in the nuts and went down in pain but because he wanted to fight for the cause like a hero he got up and played pedro onside for the first in camp nou. it was the 43rd minute and an experienced left back would have run down the time down injured or even call the ambulance …… instead there was desperate defending panicked bakheels and vuala messi scores at the end.
scezny as well sometimes plays the ball back in a hurry when he should calm everybody down…
these things come with experience… no worries…
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“Well, well,” reasoned Defarge, “but one must stop somewhere. After all, the question is still where?”
“At extermination,” said Madame.
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Thanks Andrew you are a far better wordsmith than me and you are spot on
Finsbury, once again good point, but you will also remember when Wigan came back from 2 nil down to best us 3..2 . They just bombarded the Arsenal box with crosses because they noticed that Fabianski couldn’t handle the pressure. Arsenal were by far the better side, but had a weakness exploited. That’s where I was going
I just feel that if we are to win by 3 in Munich we need some sort of edge. Lets be honest if we play Bayern off the park and win 3…0 it will be one of the greatest results in history, a Michael Thomas moment all over again. Fantastic, but unlikely. I am not clever enough to identify that edge, but hopefully Wenger will
Hunter once again spot on
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george if you need aspirins after that …i understand .. 🙂
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Three at the back – four across the middle – three up front
If it doesn’t work fuck it – it doesn’t matter
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anicol i like that
per libero…. tom and kons stoppers
and then we put theo on the right, gervi on the left ..rosicky arteta in mid…cazorla in the ten position and giroud with podolski strikers
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Puppy!! Oh, sorry…I love puppies. Another great read from Poznan. Will head to work today with a better attitude about everything. “Choose carefully. And re-choose it often.” Wise words.
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Thanks for that PIMP. Won’t be reading Arseblog any time soon despite your recommendation. Any blog that earns its reputation by sneering at our players and almost constant negativity has no interest for me.
Still no apology from him for his often repeated public statement that Theo had gone, was already sold another example of how we can’t keep our players blah blah blah. Called him out at the time but he’d done the damage by then.
Otherwise this was a fine post.
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but we have plan b and plan c and d and e and f and g …..but no plan can accomodate for the kicking the arsenal players receive…only the refs can influence there and they clearly enjoy watchnig the teams up north kicking the shit out of wenger’s young “girly foreigners:who dont like it up em” ..
i mean we had eduardo smashed to pieces and the whole of the nation was giving arsenal shit for complaining about the injury….. we now even have arsenal fans accusing the manager for not lifting the team’s spirit after that incident…. lol….
there are his players , foreigners the majority of them and receiving a very hostile reception by every other team on the pitch and every journalist in the media ..what can wenger do? tell them to ignore it and get on with it? that the ref will protect them? would you continue exercising your profession in an environment where they swear at your country, your mother and then come out to smash you to bits ? disguising it all as part of the “culture” and that they should get on with it ? ….
the possibility that this element of the “culture” should be looked at and rectified is out of the question obviously……… arsenal has to adapt apparently to the kick and rush of the premiership and the thuggish marking that goes around…..whereas i would think its english football that needs to adapt to what is happenin in the continent. i was laughing when the english media were calling madrid and holland thuggs for kicking barca and spain. hypocrisy of the highest order.
do you remember the kind of bollocks going around when eduardo;s ankle was hanging from his sock ? obviously eduardo was a criminal for his quality on the ball and scoring instinct, he shouldnt be trying those fansy things in england …. take that you skillfull dribller and scorer ..you wont own us in our national game ..we wont allow you, not you nor wenger and his foreign kids…
lets see them all when wenger’s english/brittish kids get smashed to bits ….will the authorities allow it and endorse it like they have all this time ? i guess that tells more about their backwards mentality than arsenal;s football.
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lets take neville to task on twiter for his reyes kicking..did he have orders form fergie to do so or was it his own idea to protect himself from getting exposed by antonio’s pace?
and why was scholes tackling vieira in our own half at the corner flag …. ? or his brother phil and fletcher snapping at ankles all the time ?
tell us gary …is that part of your football culture or your manager;s football plan ? haha…
effin cunts…26.12.00 and you dived to stop it at #49 … yet arsenal are the “cheating diving foreigners” huh ? ..how does that work ?
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I love Hunter
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Hi Bob, thanks, i get that.
Edges and levers? I have no idea myself but i am one who believes that momentum and emotion can be just as important as any tactics that a manager hopes his players will remember for ninety minutes.
I think it was Pellegerini who hoiked off Riquelme with a quarter of a WC QF left against Germany with the Argies a goal up. It was a bad move (he writes from the lofty perch of Castle Hindsight, the Argentine manager wasn’t given the same consideration at the time after the tournament- they went out at the QFs).
Arsenal will need an early goal. Or two! That will give them an edge (I’m a tactical genius!), same as it did to Bayern in the first leg – that’s how I saw the first leg.
if favourites Everton had scored first it’d been harder for Wigan to win the game! Also it helped that the Home crowd were booing there own manager and Star player. Not very smart. Owen Coyle described the booing by Everton fans as dumb. I agree).
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In case that didn’t make any sense: the change in that German team acter Riquelme left the pitch was not so much tactical- they read the fear in the substitution, jumped on it, found an edge and hauled themselves up and into the SFs.
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Lovely, Poznan – and the photo of the puppy just capped it off! Who else was wondering if Poznan made up the name of the Vietnamese Twitterer?
“I notice that the new Sport du Jour is to find some previously unexamined flaw of the manager or his team to add to their already lengthy list of crimes against Goonerdom.”
Tell me about it! Newsnow is so depressing these days. The most embarassing thing for me is that I used to fondly imagine that Arsenal fans were as classy and intelligent as the football we aspire to. Boy has that fond illusion been shattered.
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@ Poznan and Finsbur
“I like your hat,
your face is ugly
but your top is nice”
That stick figure is no oil painting himself. Typical bloke! (insert banned smiley face)
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hey fins do you remember lothar mattheus how he asked to be subbed in the 70th minute of that ridiculous final ? that coward abandoned his team…the captain of the squad asked ottmar to take him off….. and schweinsteiger last year ..hehehehe ..they arent all that. if we breach them early they will start looking at eachother in silence while franz sends death rays through his eyes. possible? you bet. achievable? one way to find out ….cannons.. raise…. aim…. fire!!! save no powder.
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Everyone’s right in the winning ugly/playing well debate. It’s the old cliche about earnign the right to play. I wouldn’t call it a plan B as such though because it’s more that you have to be prepared to do the less glamorous side – the pressing, closing down, tackling, etc – and to adapt to less than perfect conditions or officiating. And of course show “experience”, as hunter13 puts it.
I can also thorougly recommend the Poznan In My Pants blog.
PG, Poznan, how about a regular feature – Positively Poznan one day of the week? And perhaps one of the PA team could return the favour?
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The most embarassing thing for me is that I used to fondly imagine that Arsenal fans were as classy and intelligent as the football we aspire to.
ahahahahhahaahah sorry i aint laughing at your comment im just laughing at how right you are !!
chaviar vs bangers and mash 🙂
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Hunter
I don’t remember that Mattheus game, but closer to home there was a wee wobble after Arsenal scored the other week.
Even with some players resting niggles (happy physios for a change!) the Rocket Artillary could be unleashed. I would happily trade in one of Girooo’s beauties against Brighton if he bundles in an early goal tomorrow off his Arsenal.
Rosicky? Alas he won’t be playing alongside Jack and Santi. I’ll have to wait a little longer for that fix.
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Oh I remember now! That final with the Mancs. Heh.
-0
One plundit described Everton as complacent against Wigan? Who knows not me. I dont think the booing helped! If Bayern are too complacent tomorrow that could provide another edge.
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oh here was the german and bayern captain asking hitzfeld to take him off the field in the 70th minute of the champions league final against manchester united in 1999….even on one foot he should have remained, the coward …i blame him for what happened that night …the others ok we know them they only score with panicked ricoches and box overload and pinball shots ……
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i hope they will be complacent too but then again theyve lost the last 2 finals theyve been in the space of 4 years …… they cant be that stupid, can they ?
sure they can 🙂
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Its an obvious statement so I apologise for making it, But our players do perform better with a smile on their faces.
With regards to neville, I would like him to honestly review our 50th game of the unbeaten run, just to find out his honest opinion on all that went on.
Nice read again, so thankyou.
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We might have to wait till after Sah Slurgus retires before Neville ever dares a review of that game in any public forum.
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This is interesting…
From arsenal.com
“Arsène Wenger has made four changes to his squad for Wednesday night’s clash against Bayern Munich.
Lukasz Fabianski, Abou Diaby, Andrey Arshavin and Kieran Gibbs have all been included in the 18-man group for the Champions League last-16 second leg at Allianz Arena.
Jack Wilshere and Lukas Podolski (both ankle) have been left out, while Wojciech Szczesny has been rested. Meanwhile, Nacho Monreal is ineligible for the match, having represented Malaga in the group stages of the competition.”
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Excellent stuff again PIMP. Much enjoyed.
Perhaps what’s interesting (well to me anyway) in the various responses above, is the Gary Neville stuff.
Clearly football fans seem to develop some sort of autonomic response to almost anything that might be detrimental to or in opposition of the particular team they follow. Even as a youngster, before I’d ever been to a game and had only experienced The Arsenal vicariously through overheard conversations, I learned that Tottenham were not to be liked – for what specific reasons, at the time, I had absolutely no idea.
Nonetheless I couldn’t but help find myself enjoying hearing of a defeat for them almost as much as hearing of a win for us. Long before the day after my 10th Birthday, when my father took me and a friend to Highbury for the first time I was already fully cognisant of the fact that Spurs were horrible and Arsenal most certainly weren’t.
As time passes, fans pick up on dislikes from various teams to specific players and even to certain grounds (In recent times I have grown to really hate the Britannia Stadium in Stoke for example and know that now I probably always will)
One example of a player that causes that autonomic response in me is Gary Neville. However… and here’s the thing…
…Certain types of fan have some amount of ability when it comes to having a say over the switch that activates that response… or at least over the valves that control the strength of that response. (Hunter, for example, knows when to open all valves fully and let it bloody flow!)
I, like many, can now see that one of Neville Neville’s sons has a touch more to him than once I thought. He seems to speak sense when doing his punditry and it is hard for me not to hold my hands up to him and say “Actually Gary, you’re not the complete cunt I thought you were”.
THAT is the difference here from other places… I know that folk won’t object if I say Gary Neville is a cunt, but I also know folk won’t call me a turd if I say, actually Gary Neville talks sense. People here CAN see the Wood for the Trees. Folk here have insight.
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So Fabianski in the squad but not clear if he is likely to get the gloves – I don’t think Vito has done much wrong so I hope Arsene goes with Mannone
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I think Fabianski is ahead of Mannone in the pecking order, anicoll5
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If he is not FunGunner ,I dont understand why not.
I think he is our most talented keeper.His temperament may be suspect,but he is very talented.
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steve_i
Well said re: neville, I agree totally. Yes we recognise that its a different neville on camera than that short-fused provocative bastard we got to know on the pitch…..which makes me wonder….the fact he played the game like a cunt …was it his idea or his boss’ ? I
f its the latter ( which we all know it is) then how come that drunk fascist pig gets away with it all these years ? Could we say that the routine of rio evra vidic etc surrounding the ref is also part of the manager;s football plan? Surely you get the idea..if we break it down we will conclude that united;s game plan is heavily dependant on psychological bullying…and when youre the nations darlings its a lot easier to impose it like rio does…i certainly dont remember him being such a bastard at leeds before…..has robin forgotten how rio would come to his face and our other teammates pointing his finger as if he is the boss of the playground?
I will touch on a sensitive subject now..the suarez vs evra fiasco… If fergie trully wanted, would he not have ended whatever misunderstanding with a flick of his finger ? Of course he could and should, but no….in the spirit of reminding everyone that “we are manchester united” and in the spirit of “knock them off their perch” he made a meal out of it in full knowledge that the country;s media would make suarez and dalglish lives a living hell. I do not approve of Suarez’s comments but i have played the game even as amateur to know that on the pitch a lot of things can be said. The popularity of the league is not a reason to be politically correct, in fact its the opposite, the pressure grows bigger and bigger. With that in my mind, when asked my opinion on that fiasco, i claim that fergie and evra essentially manipulated their club’s image to their advantage to remind the foreign suarez and the hopefull liverpool who the real boss is……
It wasnt about evra being insulted ..If evra was a man of honour and actually felt insulted he would have taken care of the matter on the spot like a real man who wears trousers (see zidanne for instance..world cup final..his last game ever..did he really give a shit about the game or peoples impressions when that douche materazzi was swearing at everything that was holy to zizu? did he give a shit about rules or being politically correct? no sir no…he did what all men do when insulted in that way) and not go after the game in front of the cameras to cry like a baby and call suarez a racist when luis’s father is of coloured skin (!) ….be careful ..i aint saying that suarez is excused because of some cultural misunderstanding of the word “negrito”… he too knew what he was saying and in what context… BUT the cause of it all was basically evra who has having a horrible time on the pitch and couldnt handle suarez mobility nor his ball retention skills and seeked “alternative” ways to psyche suarez out of his game….but suarez is no theo mr evra ..suarez eats evras for breakfast …
which brings us back to the mind frame that fergie sends his players out…. “if you cant beat them in football, unsettle them as much as you can in any way you can so as to ensure the points for us” ok …no problem with that…but when it backfires dont accuse others …have the balls to pull your players on one side and tell them to shut it since they went asking for trouble… but we know already for fergie football is war while for the rest of us is just a sport.
a swansea player was it..( ?) kicked the football and because robin was lying there and got hit by the ball fergie came out saying things like ” the most dangerous thing ive ever seen on a football pitch, he could have been killed”…just three months later rio bashes torres with his elbow ..from behind ( the coward) right on torres;s neck…. no words nothing…
and you know whats even funnier…when they met vieira they were complaining for dirty tactics…muahahaha …they couldnt handle him could they ? roy tried but the poor thing only ended up getting ridiculed with patrick dribbling him with keep-ups .. 🙂
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Gary Neville is not the one responsible for our loss in the #50 game. They lies squarely at the feet of Mike Riley. If he had done his job as he should have both Nevilles (among others) would have been booked early and unable to carry on Slur Alex’x dirty work.
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@ pedantic george March 12, 2013 at 5:34 pm
Very true, I think even Chesney himself acknowledged that – but temperament is part of what makes a top keeper. Just like there may be some French bloke playing third-tier football who was more talented than Giroud as a youth player, but didn’t have his resilience.
Fabianski has been playing a few reserve games and he must have done well. He certainly looks lean and hungry in the squad training photos!
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@ dupsffokcuf March 12, 2013 at 6:07 pm
Quite right.
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If you take a look at Mike Riley’s statistics for Arsenal games, it isn’t pretty. There is even a video of him on u tube celebrating a spurs goal against Arsenal (although that’s Stretching it a bit). I hope he never refs an Arsenal game again
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