As you know I enjoy subverting the concept of the match review, ignoring the accepted wisdom of the ages and not padding out my piece with projections of the line up, the score and the performance. I prefer to take some aspect of my day to day journey through this vale of tears and explore how it relates to the beautiful game in general and to Arsenal in particular. This is partly to avoid simply echoing all the other match day writers who already do a far better job than I could ever hope to keeping us abreast of the manager’s press conference, the injury list and just what it is that is so wrong with our club. I also have the words of Martin Mull running through my mind – “writing about music is like dancing about architecture”.
Now before you scroll spluttering for the comment box to point out that this is a football blog and not the New Musical Express, allow me a moment to elucidate. I find the quotation is appropriate here because the match preview is in essence writing about the future. Discussing events which have yet to occur is an equally futile exercise as I’m sure Laurie Anderson, Steve Martin, Frank Zappa, Elvis Costello, Thelonius Monk, Clara Schumann, Miles Davis, George Carlin and all the others who have been credited with Mull’s words would happily attest.
Some of you seem not to mind my rambling, off key approach to the match day which is hugely gratifying, and quite frankly those who don’t give a fig for my extended metaphors and tenuous allegorical fluff can still join the discussion below which is surely the true function of any supporters blog. I don’t believe it matters much what is said up here in main article the true value to this and any other Arsenal forum is the sharing of ideas and opinions. That is certainly where I learn most about the game and about my fellow travellers on this annual journey.
Which is a bloody good job because, as the more perspicacious among you may have twigged, I don’t have a lot to say this morning. My dearly beleaguered wife has fallen victim to some dreadful species of lurgy and I have been playing Florence Nightingale all week. Consequently I have barely thought of football nor anything else beyond emptying the bucket and dampening the handkerchief in order to cool her fevered brow. Yesterday evening, as I was patting the back and holding the hair out of the way, issuing the soothing words and generally doing all the things one does while silently offering up a prayer not to catch it myself, I turned over a few thoughts on today’s blog and came up empty, as indeed did my wife.
Which is a shame really because we are now in the narrows of the channel, signifying journey’s end. This, as the poet famously wrote, is it. Things are in the process of being decided. Stuff is coming to a head. Cup competitions are at the quarter and semi final stage, the race for the league is on the last bend before the home straight. Every Arsenal fixture is like a cup final but even if we win them all we have no guarantee of ultimate success. What a time to run out of things to say!
It’s a real shame because today’s match could be a humdinger. Everton are on a high right now after shoving the most hated team in the country through the door marked ‘Exit’ in their recent FA Cup tie. In Romelu Lukaku they have a genuine talent and, for me, an honest player and we have all admired their manager’s approach to the beautiful game and his refusal to bow to the lowest denominator kick ’em and rush ’em style beloved of the knuckle dragging set. John Stones looks an elegant and promising young defender and with that thug now sold to Norwich they are a much more likeable bunch.
We on the other hand will be buoyed by a spirited performance in Catalonia although no doubt disappointed not to have got more than one goal for all our efforts. The main worry for Arsenal is the heavy work load under which our players have laboured so valiantly of late. That must be weighed against the focus that our elimination from two of the three remaining competitions will surely bring to our game. It is, in the crude vernacular of my peers, shit or bust time. There is only one prize, no distractions, nothing else to aim at and so they will surely put any weariness behind them and go for broke this lunchtime.
One thing I am determined not to say today, one expression I have already deleted three times is ‘bounce back’. Not because it isn’t apposite given our unhappy results of late. It’s just that I’m sick of saying it this season. We have never put a decent run together, not for long enough anyway. We seemed to get pegged back each time we approach anything like a little consistency, either through untimely injuries, profligacy in front of goal, lapses at the back or just obdurate opposition from either visiting teams or referees. We haven’t ever really gotten out of third gear have we? And yet somehow we are just about in touch with the Marvel superheroes of Filbert Way and our noisy neighbours. Just about.
Well, there isn’t any time left now. We need to find a way to get the cogs to mesh and we need to start today. We also need Mr Pochettino and his pretenders to catch a dose of whatever is ailing she who must be obeyed and Ranieri’s transformed supermen to forget to take their glowing green pills for a few games. Even then even the most positive among us know we face a short but steep and difficult climb. I haven’t given up yet and I’m certain the manager and players haven’t either. Of course I never give up until it is mathematically impossible to win and then I simply enjoy the final few matches of the season and start to look forward to the next.
Anyway, the bell marked ‘Master Bedroom’ is tinkling again so I probably need to get back upstairs and change the sheets again and see if I can’t force a few dry crumbs through her parched, cracked lips. Before I go let me just apologise once more for having nothing to say today, hopefully the muse will return in time for Watford’s visit in a fortnight’s time. In the meantime let’s gird our loins once again and see if that elusive consistency can arrive just in the nick of time. Ultimate success may appear a distant and unlikely prospect right now but we can all take comfort from the words of the late lamented Terry Pratchett who taught us that “million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten”. It ain’t over till it’s over boys and girls, and, as I keep telling my patient, where there’s life there’s hope.
Positively Arsenal 
Excellent, Steww! Given the circumstances, there’s not much to complain about.
My prayers are with your Missus to get well soon.
And for the boys to get their mojo back!
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Brilliant again Steww although taking a picture of you and the Mrs with her right boob showing is sure to anger her when she eventually gets up from her sick bed, but hope she gets well soon anyway.
Get well soon is indeed appropriate for todays blog as we need to be in rude health as soon as possible and for the remainder of the season. We have players coming back but wheather the cavelry coming back arrive in time depends on how the lads who remain at the fort can keep the doors on and stop the buggers coming over the wall.
Iwobi was brilliant against barca but I cant see him starting today because he looks tired toward the end of games and maybe his best will be from the bench today. Three points going into the interlull would be a fantastic start to final nine games COYG
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You said nothing well.
…it just might work.
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Even when you have nothing to say you reminded us that there are more important things in life. A timely reminder that football should be our escape and not what we lose ourselves in. As supporters, we should just enjoy the game and remember why we start doing this initially, and not be blinded by the bling.
Wishing the missus a speedy recovery Stew.
Onto to our boys’ lunchtime commitments: I really hope we kick ass today to send us all on a well deserve break from all this football malarkey. Esp Stew and Andrew, things has been quite hectic since the start of December.
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I wish I could contribute more to this blog, but the quality of writing is of such a high standard, it makes it daunting.
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Even when you write about nothing in particular, Stew, bar Mrs. Stew’s lurgy (hope she recovers quickly) it is a delight to read your musings. Thanks again
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One of this seasons’s highlights for me has been the emergence of the Positively Arsenal Football Sandwich with Steww and Andrew providing the outer crusts covering a filling of the day’s Arsenal fixture. And long may it continue.
Arse_or_brain is correct of course, your wife could end up with a chill dressed like that. But it’s sobering to reflect that that bedroom had been freshly decorated just prior to her own form going the way of Arsenal’s scoring prowess as she was struck down with Lady ‘Flu. Hope she gets better soon.
That the PA Sandwich represents one of this season’s highlights tells its own story; certainly our form, for whatever reason, has not been a cause for celebration. The disappointment is palpable across Arsenal Land not least because our form for the whole of 2015’s calendar year was outstanding.
Arsene needs to work on little bit recalibration and whilst I don’t think our play (finishing aside) has been awful, Leicester’s overall game has developed into having all the hallmarks of champions and they are simply playing really, really well. Sure, they may have been one (or two) injuries short of terminal disruption but they have put themselves in the driving seat as surely as we have taken up a back seat.
I like Everton and Martinez and Clattenburg and today should be an enjoyable game, especially if I manage to avoid the toxic mess of Twitter.
Hopefully I’ll also like the final result, too.
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Thanks Stew and all the best to Mrs B. Perfectly balanced prose and poise.
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What is there to add? Doctor Black must attend to Ms Black. May she have a quick and full recovery.
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it might just be season renewal talk, but lots of journos are pushing the story that Arsenal will be letting 9 members of the first team squad leave this summer. Now some have jumped to the conclusion that this will mean 8 or 9 new signings to replace them. But to use a Wengerism, “lets look at internal solutions first”.
The 9 players mentioned for culling, Ospina, Debuchy, Mertesacker, Gibbs, Flamini, Arteta, Rosicky, Oxlade-chamberlain, Walcott.
3 of them – Flamini, Arteta & Rosicky are out of contract, and there is no sign of any of them being offered new deals, so easy enough to expect them to leave. Arteta has not started a BPL game this season, after missing nearly all of last season too, he is 34 at the end of this Month. Rumors have it that he will either be offered a coaching role at AFC or join up with Pep at Man City. Rosicky only started 5 BPL games last season and he has due to injury only played about 20 minutes of first team football this season, he will be 36 early next season. If any of them get a new deal I’d expect it to be Flamini, as he has been getting lots of game time.
Then we have Ospina who has expressed his desire for regular first team football and Debuchy is in the same boat, so not a major shock if these 2 leave as well.
Gibbs has found himself an almost permanent understudy to Monreal, and with AFC reported to have bid a couple of times for Ben Chilwell, its not hard to see why he might be on the move.
Mertesacker is the biggest surprise name on the unwanted list, he has been a first choice player most of the season, if Gabriel takes his place for the rest of the season then there might be legs in it
The media have been full of transfer rumors about Ox for the last couple of months, Man City, Liverpool, Chelsea, Man Utd, and West Ham have all been heavily linked with a move for him. He has come on as a sub in 13 BPL games this season, with Ramsey, Walcott and Campbell all used wide right ahead of him. Some reports say he is unhappy that he is played in a wide role, as he wants to play CM.
Last but not least Walcott has been linked with a move to Liverpool. He is a LFC fan, he started the season brightly and as a CF, then injury struck and he has been mostly used as a sub, and in a wide role. Oddly enough Theo recently said he had missed playing on the wing, this after all his comments about seeing himself as a CF. Since Christmas he has been well off form, and is having little impact in games. This might be the reasons for him being linked away, or maybe him wanted out is the reason for his listless performances.
So that is a run down of who is being linked away. That brings me to their replacements and of course to the “internal solutions”. Some of which seem straight forward enough.
Ospina – we have Szczesny and Martinez out on loan, and I for one would have no problem at all with Szczesny being our understudy to Cech next season. Martinez looked very good for Wolves till his injury, after which he has been unable to get back in the team, so again if he was our back up keeper next season I would not unduly worry about it.
Debuchy – well Carl Jenkinson is the obvious choice to replace him as back up to Bellerin.
Gibbs – as already stated, it seems we are very keen on LCFC’s Ben Chilwell, so a new signing, that will please some, but he will be untested and cheap, boo boo boo.
Mertesacker – again I doubt he will be sold, maybe shifted down the pecking order behind Chambers and Gabriel. But if a CB is to be signed, then I would not be surprised if its Howedes of Schalke, we have tried for him a couple of times. Manolas of Roma might also be a good shout.
Arteta – well for me his replacement has already been signed, Elneny.
Flamini – Hayden could be the lad given his chance, he has had an up and down loan spell at Hull and they want to sign him.
Rosicky – Iwobi has already replaced him so far this season, but if we are to bring in one of our loan players too, then Toral looks like the man, he has, after a slow start, been very impressive for Birmingham.
Oxlade-chamberlain – as already said Campbell and Ramsey have been used ahead of him, but if we are talking about a replacement in the squad of 25, then Maitland-Niles who started the season very well for Ipswich but has seen tiredness hit his form in the second half of the season could be the lad to get a chance, but don’t rule out Gnabry, it looks like he will get a Championship loan deal next week, and it that goes well he could very well be given the chance to fulfill his early promise.
Walcott – some rumors that this LFC fan could go to LFC with an AFC fans coming the other way, a very like for like replacement, as far as injury issues are concerned, Sturridge is the swap link, it would be a big risk, but if it came off, we would have that lethal striker we want.
other loan players who could be given a chance are Zelalem, Akpom and even Sanogo.
So just going on my analysis of who wold replace the 9 we would sign Chilwell, Howedes, SturriWdge and recall or promote Szczesny, Jenkinson, Hayden, Toral, Gnabry. Now wouldn’t that boil the piss of the AAA/WOB
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Arsenal starting XI: Ospina, Bellerin, Koscielny, Gabriel, Monreal, Coquelin, Elneny, Iwobi, Ozil, Alexis, Welbeck
Arsenal substitutes: Macey, Gibbs, Mertesacker, Chambers, Campbell, Walcott, Giroud
Copyright 2016 The Arsenal Football Club plc. Permission to use quotations from this article is granted subject to appropriate credit being given to http://www.arsenal.com as the source
Read more at http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/20160319/team-news-coquelin-returns#ZhsRwx4l2bW0qjVB.99
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Morning Stew and all, though only just.
There is a lot of it about, plenty of fluids, no electronic devices and ensure the window is open a crack.
I am looking forward to kick off, thinking back years, although I went to a few London grounds with Arsenal my first ever real ‘away’ game was at Everton. It was a poor game and ended 0-0 at a time when neither club ere really running well. Despite that Everton even then still had a respect for the game, playing it in the right way, that we have in common with them.
I expect a corker.
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This Iwobi’s first BPL start.
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afcstuff @afcstuff 12m12 minutes ago
Absentees from the Arsenal squad today:
Čech
Flamini
Arteta
Rosicky
Wilshere
Cazorla
Ramsey
Oxlade-Chamberlain
Gnabry
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Iwobi! Away to Goodison after a trip to the nou camp, what a week he is having!
COYG
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2 minutes in and both teams have hit the post
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Two minutes of blistering action down the Arsenal left. Hopefully Coleman has shown his hand too early. Interesting skill from Welbeck the other end. And again Welbeck nearly in just over runsit, if he had ten games under his belt…
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WELBECK ON FIRE!
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great goal!
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Welbeck makes it 1-0 after rounding the keeper, there was brilliant build up play
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Lovely build up, pulling them backwards and forwards left to right, and the movement from Danny Boy!
Come on.
Iwobi! Nearly.
Come on!
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iwobi shoots straight at the keeper
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That was a splendid and typically Arsenal goal.
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Elneny doing well in the play maker role
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Alexis losing the ball a lot, he is trying to take on too many opponents
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Penalty not given for foul on Alexis, nothing new there
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as clear a penalty as you will get, but of course its Arsenal so its not given
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Iwobi with his first arsenal goal, yessssssssssssssssssssssss
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IWOBI!!!!!!
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HT: Everton 0-2 Arsenal
Arsenal have really disappointed today
they have really disappointed BT Sport, it does not suit their predetermined agenda at all
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could easily have been 5 or 6 up, the domination has been that good.
Elneny controlling midfield, it looks like Coquelin has a man marking job on Barkley.
welbeck’s running and movement is causing Everton all sorts of problems, took his goal very well, as did Iwobi. Alexis having an up and down game, should have had a penalty, and assisted for Danny’s goal.
Gabriel doing a fine job on Lukaku.
Sadly for me I’m off out so will have to content myself with Radio commentary for the second half, but every cloud has a silver lining, as the radio commentary can’t be as bad as BT’s
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Good football and a good performance – well done
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Lovely allegory Steww
I hope the battle n’strife is much better, just like Arsenal. An excellent performance from our team. Begs the question, why oh why haven’t played this way more often? They are really the best team in the league.
I see some plonkers have another stupid banner…
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Hopefully Ozil is ok.
Lukaku restricted to the one chance on the 87th?
–
A little luck and a hat-trick each for Afobe and Bolasie would be nice.
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A game completely dominated by Arsenal, Welbeck with another goal, and Iwobi with his first, hopefully the first of many. Birthday boy Bellerin had a fine game too. Elneny showing he is far more than a cheap panic buy, or a squad man, he really is giving us the dimension missing in midfield since Cazorla got injured, and his inclusion allows Per to be left out of the side. Monreal must have felt like he had the day off, after facing Messi midweek he had the not so difficult job of containing Lennon.
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oh and it can’t not be said enough, we are blessed indeed to have Ozil, what a damn fine player.
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fins what happened Ozil, I only had poor radio coverage of the second half,
Lukaku they said is the answer to our striker problems, yet Danny was head and shoulders above him today in every aspect of striker play.
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ArsenalAndrew @ArsenalAndrew 1h1 hour ago
Once again, away from home, freed from the shackles of their appallingly discouraging home support, AFC flourishing like the team of old.
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Sam @samuelJayC 21m21 minutes ago
Some Arsenal fans putting ‘the banner’ up in away end, some other Arsenal fans punching them. Oh dear. #afc
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Daniel Cowan @thedanielcowan 1m1 minute ago
A banner supporter hurt an opposer. Cunt.
A banner opposer is telling supporters they’ll hurt their kids. Cunt.
Cunts everywhere.
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Eds
Not sure was watching on a poor stream. Came off after a hack I think, he’s played a lot lately so that would’ve been a consideration too. hopefully nothing more then a minor niggle.
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so how bad was Clattenburg today
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well hopefully fins its just enough to keep him out of the Internationals and that he is back for Watford game in two weeks time.
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Good performance today, not brilliant but definitely climbing the performance charts.
After criticising Alexis midweek I thought he was much better today. He passed the ball quickly in midfield and although he still lost it the areas were much further forward and not dangerous.
Nice to see Alex getting MOTM today, ironically I thought his midweek display was better as he really tired in the second half.
All in all a great day for all involved with the club except the banner wankers.
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Can you imagine the scenes if Ospina had conceded a goal after his injury. He looked distinctly broken for about five minutes but then seemed fine. I bet he has some bruises tomorrow though. Fair play to the man, plunged in between Lukaku and Gabriel and the injury, probably from Gabriel, could have been a lot worse. Cech could not have done any better or braver.
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SlovenianGooner @slovenianGooner 1h1 hour ago
Arsenal currently the only top 4 team in the top 4 position and supposedly we are the joke club, right?
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Wow, my spirits are so high I cleaned three toilets and two bathrooms….
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guess who
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Always enjoy reading anything in here – be it just general musings or football/Arsenal related, and the comment section never disappoints. I do hope your wife gets well soon.
Classic moment there by Sanchez, what was that all about?…lol. Having a bit of breather, was he?
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I think he was enjoying himself Shogun !
( or showing definite signs of it a least)
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