Ricky Gervais is a funny bloke. A far more talented actor than he is ever given credit for and pretty sound on several issues, most obviously our systematic abuse of other species. He also likes to wind people up. Not with the mindless trolling employed by those less cerebrally gifted than him but in a way intended, one suspects, to provoke us to consider what he’s saying and examine our own prejudiced positions.
Lately, via the medium of Twitter, he has been exploring the concept that while calling an individual daft or stupid can be insulting, describing an idea in such terms cannot. By definition an idea shouldn’t really be able to be offended or to take anything we say personally. After all, it doesn’t have a person does it? Many have refused to accept this argument and continued to hurl abuse and incoherent, frothing rage at their screens when he pours scorn on an idea to which they subscribe.
I broadly agree with Mr Gervais on this issue but feel he is a little disingenuous if he really is ignoring certain perfectly understandable human traits inherent in all of us. If, for example, I think an idea is pretty neat and you call that idea a bladder full of rancid rat’s offal then some of that mud sticks to me for holding the aforementioned offal in such high esteem. You are, by association, implying I have either failed to think the thing through or am too hopeless to spot how silly the idea was in the first place. So yes, an idea cannot take offence but the person who sees their idea under fire from the excrement gun is likely to feel smeared by at least a small amount of collateral ordure.
All of this came to mind as I was twiddling my thumbs wondering when the day would dawn when I finally wrote a match-day blog and actually failed entirely to mention the football. I am after all a rank amateur with no inside knowledge or special insight only hired because George enjoyed my ability to turn a phrase or two. Having your name above a newspaper column or blog page does not of itself confer upon you any particular status.
This is the same for celebrity fans who wield no more weight with their opinions simply because their theatrical careers have thrust them into the public eye. I like famous fans to be like Marc Riley or Bob Mortimer who’s public utterances are entirely impossible to separate from yours and mine. Simply supporters cheering their side on, singing when they’re winning and lambasting the ref when he gets it wrong. Just as it should be. Some of our own famous fans have failed spectacularly to realise their place on this earth and have flipped, flopped and issued verbal farts of a most distressing stink since the money which poured into Stamford bridge and Manchester so distorted the Premier League.
I don’t intend to name the one who leaped to mind – these graceless oafs have more than enough coverage without I add sticks to the bonfire of their vanity. I recall him being interviewed on TV just before a big game, possibly a cup final, possibly not. This was back in the golden years and he was purring over how Arsène’s team would pass the opposition of the park and revelling in his association with the club. Years later, during the Stadium Debt Years he only spoke to garner cheap laughs and to make sarcastic remarks at the expense of our players and of course the manager.
I used to despise people like this but then I thought of the whole Ricky Gervais thing and realised what was happening. These vacuous attention hungry whores were basking in the reflected glow of the team and its achievements. By association they felt more successful because their team was successful. When the trophies dried up and the media began their unrelenting campaign of negativity on the subject of all things Arsenal the poor dears felt smeared by that same association.
So this guy panicked and tried everything in his power to say “No no – this doesn’t reflect on me at all, look see, I too think the club is mismanaged, staffed by donkeys and without hope or value. Not only that see how clever I am when I take the piss out of them. Love me, love me, love me.”
He and his ilk simply didn’t want to be conflated with an idea which appeared to be held in derision. They were of course forgetting that a supporter’s role, no matter what their day job, is to support, through, as Bob Wilson’s quote at the top of this and every PA page reminds us, thick and thin.
Just as we supporters were delighted with Yaya Sanogo’s goal scoring feats against Reading yesterday so the failures and birth mistakes among our fanbase, whether famous or humble, greeted the news with sarcasm and scorn. It’s a shame that you and I and those malcontents are talked of by the fence sitters as being all as bad as each other. The one side of the divide does not support the club and we do. It is simply surreal to say a pox on both your houses as if supporting the club is as idiotic and counter productive as not supporting it.
There we are though. This is the fate of the modern fan and it is a burden we must bear with equanimity and good grace. I don’t believe we ought to puff ourselves up with pride when the team does well any more than we should take it personally when Arsène’s ideas are reduced to a hissing and a byword. Neither is down to us.
Having said all of that I must confess that there are few real absolutes in football. Apart from the first commandment “Thou shalt not support Bristol City” and the second “Thou shalt mock any team from Middlesex” the whole thing demands a certain fluidity of thought, a malleability of prejudice from its followers.
Imagine for example Jose Mourinho taking over at Arsenal. I don’t say it would ever happen but if it did we’d have to find something positive not just to say but to think about the man. A man we have held in contempt for so long the habit must be engrained in us like the name of a resort in a stick of rock.
Imagine if the manager of Manchester United took such an exciting and justified stance against the revolting lickspittles of the British press corps that we feel like jumping up and applauding him. Imagine if his side suffered the kind of injury blight usually reserved by the fates only for Arsenal. It might be impossible not to empathise and even sympathise with a club who so recently made our lips curl at the mention of its name. Imagine if they sunk so low in the table that they were no longer a threat. We might find ourselves in a less vituperative mood towards them. Odd how things change. How some of our fans are already turning on Leicester for their tactics, individual players for their cheating, referees for their leniency towards them, the media for fawning over them.
I don’t suggest we should rush out and hug the first Man United fan we meet in the street but today sees us visit a ground no longer reeking of sulphur. A fixture I used to detest over all others has been eclipsed by visits to Stamford Bridge and to the Potteries.
I am not predicting victory, I haven’t, I hope, an hubristic bone in my body, but we do not travel to Salford with anything close to the trepidation as that in days of yore. They are a side unable to put a decent run together so disrupted have their manager’s plans been and we are a side capable of great football but with our goal threat blunt and our scorers misfiring. They will field youngsters eager to impress and we will face a choice between an out of sorts Theo, a delicate and recuperating Danny and Joel a man in danger of becoming sidelined once again. I prefer to see Aaron farther forward and Santi or Jack partnering FC at the base of our midfield but that can’t happen and anyway I’m not a football manager – thank God. Neither am I famous enough to have an opinion that matters.
I just support the club, win, lose or draw. It’s about all any of us can do really. Oh, and I’m going to try not to take it personally if someone thinks that is a stupid idea.
Positively Arsenal 
“a pox on both your houses” now there’s a man brought up on Robin Hood.
Brilliant again Steww i’m sure Ricky would be impressed.
Unfortunatly all teams, but especially the big ones raise thier game when ARSENAL rock up in town and so another good performance will be needed. We certainly have the fire power to destroy manure as long as we’re not firing blanks we should be ok. Even the refs seem to have deserted them this season, so it will be interesting to see if that continues today or for some reason the man in yellow/black/purple deceides he wants to influence the game in their favour.
One of the reporters remarked in the press conference about Alexis lack of form, which normally sparks the aformentioned into life and those who are only positive about ARSENAL when we win will be jumping on our jolly bandwagen. COYG
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Wow. What a fantastic read. Thank you very much.I look forward to more.
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Morning Stew, Thought provoking, idea provoking even, and I confess the duality of ego and belief one that requires a lengthy walk and lots fresh air.
As for the red Mancs their decline, after two decades+ of great success and a great manager, is a warning.
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Great preview and food for thought Steww,
The whole notion “are we are our ideas?”(and flux laughs) is an important one for us to consider.Its a big problem in our world thats caused a great deal of suffering.And still is. If we are not our ideas what are we? What happens to these ideas when we pop our clogs?What are our ideas without its counter element, can we escape the duality that locks into each other draining all energy?
If we thrash the pile of Manure today will we truly feel sympathetic to their supporters,or is the sneaky lie that is manifest in the benevolence of the victors might?
Thanks again!
COYG!!!!!!
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Brilliant.
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Stew, you turned quite the phrase today.
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You are quite the teacher Stew. I enjoyed this just like the brussels sprouts from Mills from the other day.
“When the trophies dried up and the media began their unrelenting campaign of negativity on the subject of all things Arsenal the poor dears felt smeared by that same association.”
So the age of wob began.
This read, along with my Sunday lunch make me feel ready for an afternoon nap, but there’s a game and Stew just go me warmed.
Time to start making the red Mancs feel like they are our daily bread. COYG.
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What an enjoyable start to the day’s reading. Thanks Steww.
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Lovely stuff Stew,I agree with every word of that. As for today,if we find our shooting boots,2-1 to us.
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Wenger when asked why Arsenal title challenges faded in the last ten years
“Some of the players were tapped up to go somewhere else and it was difficult to maintain the focus.”
Adebayor, Nasri, Cesc, Hleb, RVP
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Man Utd V Arsenal
ref – Craig Pawson
assistant refs – L Betts & M Perry
4th official – M Dean
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Wonderful stuff Steww.
I’m more than happy to see those red mancunians and their Surrey supporters group down in the dumps for many a year to come. The only down side is that leaves a new empty seat at the top table and this year Leicester have gate crashed the party.
Yesterday was another ill gotten gain for them.
“A pox on both your houses” Mercutio – Romeo and Juliet Act III scene 1 from what I recall of my school days, … Or was it West Side Story?
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Eddy
Don’t forget To add Henry to the list.
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My take on the mancunians today from Conan the Barbarian:
Mongol General: Hao! Dai ye! We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?
Mongol: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
Mongol General: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
Conan: Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of their women.
Mongol General: That is good! That is good.
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I am hurt.
A plague a’ both your houses! I am sped.
Is he gone and hath nothing?
Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet.
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Don’t pretend you’re all well read, A pox on both your houses was from Disney’s Robin Hood. I know my English literature.
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Ye old Nottingham Forest barn dance:
https://youtu.be/DuBb3LirBe0
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For anyone worried about the officiating today don’t read the Untold preview its not good reading for us, with the pawson/dean combo last raping us v Stoke.
Maybe they will be more honest today
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I see what you did there Steww. Classic distraction technique and you managed to slip in your prefered starting eleven or thereabouts for perhaps the first time? I hope the Arsenal find their gears as smoothly today.
Alas losing Cazorla Wilshere and Rosicky the three similar(ish) types of midfielder at the same time was always going to be a blow but at least Welbeck has returned a little earlier then expected and that is encouraging. Campbell will be rewarded for his patience and get some more minutes now with Chambo out, harsh as that is for Chamberlain.
it was a fair guess from the Specialist’s actions that part of his reasons for waiting at the steps at Wembley was simply to continue trying to tap up a player who Gazprom had bid for last summer, but of course that won’t stop our Experts from turning on the kid and doing a Ramsey there, no alarms and no surprises from these ginormous football brains. Chambo’s agent has a rep but keeping his place once form had returned will hopefully keep him with us.
Hard to have any sympathy for a club that sold Welbeck and replaced him with a selection from the Specilaist’s favourite special agent.
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Dang. Steww just outdid himself again. Lyrics like rain. Straight to the heart of the matter.
Because of Mel’s predictions I am feeling quite optimistic. He’s hardly let us down, no.
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DC I don’t think Henry was tapped up in a title contending season, yes maybe in a CL contending season but as AW was asked about what went wrong in league title contending seasons I did not include Henry.
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Gabriel, Walcott and Welbeck in, Mertesacker, Ox(injured) and Giroud out
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elneny replaces Flamini on the bench, Iwobi in for the injured ox
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mufc: De Gea; Varela, Carrick, Blind, Rojo; Schneiderlin, Herrera; Lingard, Mata, Memphis; Rashford
subs: Romero, McNair, Riley, Fosu-Mensah, Weir, Januzaj, A.Pereira
fuck me, not happy with mike dean as 4th official, man u have named Riley as a sub, we are doomed.
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interesting changes there, im definetly surprised. Looks a good side again though COYG.
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Without Mert and Giroud, that is a very athletic, speedy line up.
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In my defence fins I haven’t predicted the line or said what it ought to be. Like everyone else I have my favourite players and favourite line ups.
Lines up.
Whatever.
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COYG!
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COYG!
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A referee not allowing our players to be rugby tackled. Amazing.
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King Cech!
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a very nervy and edgy game so far, Monreal with the best chance but needed to hit it with his right foot as by time it was on his left DeGea was out to block
spurs 0-1 swansea
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You know on a Sunday morning when you come up against a team that you haven’t played before and about 20 minutes in you think ‘we could have this lot’
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2 of utds back booked already
bellerin finding depay a real handful
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Depay is a good player. Luckily so is Hector.
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bloody fuck.COME ON ARSENAL!!!!!!!!!!
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Bollocks
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Out of interest what do you do when the opposition score against the run of play like that? My immediate response is turn the sound off and look away until all replays are over.
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for fucks sake, another self inflicted goal, Walcott loses the ball in our own half, then opportunities to clear the ball not taken and rashford sticks it in the net, man u 1-0 arsenal
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bloody fucking fuck. Grrrrrrrr
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Going to need a hell of a comeback now. I just hope they get a little over confident and come at us all guns blazing.
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what a load of bollocks, man utd 2-0 arsenal
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COME ON YOU GUNNERS!!!!!
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rashford scored 2 in minutes, typical of AFC to buckle after letting in the first goal
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ozil free kick , Welbeck heads in 2-1 come on you gooners
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get in there!!!!!!! Now quick another one before HT.Nice work Danny boy!
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welbeck has been by far our best attacker today, but that has not been hard, Walcott has been awful, Alexis only on the fringes as has Ozil
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Where is Theo?
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Man Utd getting away with a lot of rotational fouling.
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