I was driving down the A367 yesterday afternoon on the way to a garden centre. A part of the ancient Fosse Way, the A367 once rang to the hob nailed Caligae of the Roman Legions but nowadays is home to a series of pedestrian crossings and a seemingly unending sequence of roadworks. In short it’s an venerable right of way which has evolved into a very ordinary traffic clogged artery between two insignificant west country towns in a north eastern backwater of a quiet west country county.
We passed a recreation ground where three young men were idly tossing a rugby ball to one another. Children spun lazily on a roundabout, their mothers sat chatting while a dog walker skirted the edge of the field his German Shepherd trailing behind him sniffing the perimeter fence, the both of them lost in their own thoughts. The scene was bathed in late spring sunshine and was transferred from my retinas to my brain in a matter of seconds as our Vauxhall Zafira rolled quietly past. Why did this image remain with me as I took the right turn into Charlton Road and slowed in anticipation of the new twenty miles an hour limit? It wasn’t, after all, remarkable in any way and was probably being repeated with minor variations in small parks all the way from Porthleven to Barwick-In-Elmet.
It wasn’t so much what I saw as what I didn’t. It wasn’t what was in the field as what wasn’t. Norton Hill Recreation Ground would, on any given Saturday afternoon for the preceding nine months, have been a scene of bustling, earnest endeavour. Twenty two men of varying ages and encompassing a wide spectrum of physical beauty from youthful muscular elegance to forty something balding lumpen middle age would have been grunting and puffing in pursuit of a regulation size five football. Even on the days when they were absent the goal posts would at least stand in mute indication that here, on this uneven muddy rectangle of grass, football has been played, and come the weekend it shall be played again.
No more. The goal posts have been pulled. The only evidence they were ever there at all, two churned brown potholed semi circles which mark the areas of greatest activity: the goal mouths. I realised as I headed towards the compost and camellias that this would be Saturday from now onwards. After today the league season will have ended. Another league season, the forty fifth league season in fact since I first started paying attention to such things and my forty fourth as an Arsenal fan. And do you know what? The feeling of emptiness is precisely the same today as it was when I was six. The long barren summer stretches off into infinity and the hollow chores with which once my mother and now my wife will hope to fill my time are like ashes in my mouth.
Thank God for the FA Cup final. I was an unaffiliated football watcher for the 1969 – 70 season when this all began. I just enjoyed moving teams up and down the little slotted league ladder that came with my Score magazine. Or was it Scorcher? They eventually merged into Scorcher and Score so it’s all the same really. Anyway, when it all came to an abrupt end I had at least Chelsea and Leeds at Wembley to which I could look forward. When the game went to a replay I was ecstatic. The inevitable had been postponed for one more game, there would be more football.
Obviously being a neutral wasn’t enough of a fix for me and I spent the summer deciding who to support and, well, you win nothing for guessing how that decision went. No matter how many times you experience it, that last game feeling never leaves you. Many are of course dead rubbers. The league positions are decided, neither team has anything to which they can aspire nor from which they wish to escape. In other years the very outcome of the league title itself is decided, sometimes European football is the prize and sometimes it’s finishing above the neighbours that excites us most. The truly climactic last games in our recent history have been the title decider at Anfield in 1989 and the home game against Leicester on May 15th 2004 which sealed the unbeaten season.
There will be no such drama this afternoon. The only hint of spice in an otherwise bland footballing stew is the visit of one of football’s most reviled figures. Tony Pulis used to be a bit of a hero to me. A Bristol Rovers stalwart, he was part of the same golden generation as the mercurial Ian Holloway. Pulis then blotted his copybook by moving to Ashton Gate to manage the loathsome red half of the city. However, his tenure there was so brief that he swiftly faded from memory, only resurfacing as the Gothmog of Stoke, lieutenant of Minas Morgul leader of Orcs and all round destroyer of the beautiful game. He sent his players out to kick the opposition and kick them they did. The most famous assault was of course carried out on our own Welsh wonder and it is something of a footballing miracle that he is still with us and still one of the greatest talents in the game.
Should Aaron, Santi and Mesut be rested today to protect them from getting Pulisterised before our big game in six days time, the biggest of our season? I don’t know what Arsène thinks – I’m no more qualified to second guess the greatest mind in football than any other blogger – but personally I wouldn’t let them within a mile of a Pulis team this close to a season defining encounter. To be fair I don’t know if his West Bromwich side plays like Stoke or not. I haven’t seen much of them this season but a glance at their recent results shows them capable of beating Man United and Chelsea, drawing with Liverpool and yet getting stuffed by an execrable Queens Park Rangers side.
Their captain is none other than Darren Fletcher and that is reason enough to protect our most valuable assets. Darren actually feels much the same about his manager as I do. In a newspaper interview he is alleged to have said “From my point of view he is an infectious manager” and I must confess I’d have thought that as good a reason as any to steer well clear. He apparently went on to suggest that the rationale behind his move away from Old Trafford was all down to Arsène snapping up Danny Wellbeck so maybe his judgement isn’t so badly flawed after all.
I don’t think we should read too much into today’s game. That end of season oddness which has pervaded our recent fixtures may will cling on for another ninety minutes. I certainly hope not because I feel the players deserve some recompense for all the hard work they’ve put in for so little reward lately. Drawing two and losing one is not a fair reflection of the football they’ve produced nor the effort they’ve expended. It has however cemented third place and so far the lads have come through their labours unscathed and that’s probably the most important thing. A nice free flowing game with an avalanche of goals for the home team featuring ninety minutes from Tomáš Rosický would suit me just fine but to be honest I’ll just be glad if everyone survives and the cameraman doesn’t waste any time pointing his equipment towards the visitors technical area.
So here we are. My final paragraph warning light has come on so I suppose it’s once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more. May I just say it’s been a heck of a ride. The euphoria of last May might have fizzled a bit during our difficult start but the manager never lost his nerve and the team came good. I hope we can all enjoy our afternoon’s entertainment and wrap things up nicely with our accustomed aplomb. I will return for my final match preview next weekend but as far as the league goes this is, as people are so fond of saying, it.
Positively Arsenal 
I shall miss your musings on life pre match Stew. The close season is however very short and proceedings get under way a little earlier this year. In the interim the Baggies stand across the path and must be dealt with. A West Brom fan I spoke to Friday said that all their tickets had sold out immediately they went on the market and they are coming for a good day out and the win.
He said they regarded the game as an important mission, to jolt Arsenal out of any risk of turning up at Wembley overconfident, and thereby gifting their hated local rivals the FA trophy. As Villa had been responsible for their Cup exit the thought of a claret and blue triumph on the 30th was beyond the pale.
The equivalent fixture last season was a shocker. I hope he is right about the Baggies coming to do serious work therfore. Pulis had a poor record against us at the Ems but you never know. Every dog has its day.
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Cheers Stew. The perfect pre ‘get out of bed read’ on a last league game day.
the Elephant in the room that is the unlikely but, nonetheless possible, 7 or 8 goal swing from us to the Mancs aside, I’m looking forward to today immensely.
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For those of you, like me, who regard the close season as too great a challenge and deprivation the Copa America starts on the 11th June and runs for the next four weeks. In the UK all 26 games are live on Sky though I presume in some cases at an ungodly hour. Nevertheless for those who need to keep on Alexis and Ooooospina the option is available.
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Lovely stuff Stew,perfect start to the day that. Lots of players to be rested today I reckon,surely West Brom will be on the beach?
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You are kidding Mel, this is Pulis chance of glory.
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I’m hoping we park the bus and grind out the 0-0 to secure the point that guarantees third place.
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another perfect preview. to be honest im a little dissapointed not to finish the season on 82 points (mainly cos maureen would of hated it that people would have suggested ARSENAL were the team of 2015) but I understanded the problems.
I usually love the last game of the season especially before the righteous showed up believing they were entitled to much much more and you could appriciate any of teams in red and right regarless of their talent.
Today is more important for confidence and banishment of any self doubt before the big one next week. Again a win today will hurt maureen as pullis is one of his deciples.
so plenty to play for and hopefully plenty to enjoy COYG
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Good stuff, Steww.
Give us some more during the summer,pls. I’ve been looking for your past epics, like the dream about Kos, or the lady spuds fan you had a fling with. I can’t find them in the archives, but I still have a warm feeling about those stories, and your writing.
COYG
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The lady Spurs fan was Frank http://wp.me/p37nXa-Un
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I just read the comments section and where have they all gone, Zim Paul lost to us, Frank??? Aman, Goonerkam, Paul N, Sensational Arsenal.? Makes me sad,
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Thanks Steww,
Sorry shotts,
I get the sneaky feeling that although there might be a little bit rotation Ramsey will keep his place today.
I have been thinking about what’s going to happen in CM next season. Cazorla or Ramsey vying for the same 8ish spot or will injuries etc. mean that whoever is fit will play? Either way this squad looks like it’s shaping up to be strong enough to cope with hacking, injuries and suspensions. All that “soft” tissue could continue to be bruised but hopefully the squad will be stronger a result of more players being available.
We would definitely have seen Welbeck and Chamberlain playing alongside the others in recent games, even just the one, if they’d been fit. Unfortunately it looks like neither will make e final, maybe a place on the bench for chamberlain if he has a good week. The gaffer will be keen on getting England’s best young player involved again, the player whose signing was the sign of the scale of the rebuild we witnessed bewtween the last two WCs. A rebuild ignored by the Experts!
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Chamberlain, Welbeck, Walcott on the bench. These last few weeks have been tough for little old me. After a season where all the speedy types bar Özil were crocked we finally get a pace battery at a time when both of Cazorla & Ramsey ar undroppable, whilst a few of the speedsters are out or recovering from serious injury*. But I’ve still loved watching my team play.
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Having watched two games in which Le Coq kicked the shit out of/was a match for the brute Fellaini I have no concerns about any soft tissue injuries
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I’m in the tollington anyone in here or in the George
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well said george
Positively Arsenal @Blackburngeorge · 38s 39 seconds ago
Meson, Wright, Henry, Robson,Adams, where are our Phil Thompsons ? He might be a bias fan, but he isn’t a sellout like them.
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Always liked Will he get a run out today? I think he’s improving with every game, we won’t notice any big differences or evolution till next season.
It was sad when a clear and deliberate uncalled stomp (not even a simple basic foul) from Ramires in a high profile game at a key moment that led to a defeat that ended his run in the first team last time out. Of course players at all clubs pick knocks in the course of play, but I’m not long to ignore the contrast with what happens in other PL games either: that would be dumb.
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< Always liked coquelin
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Arsenal team to play West Brom: Ospina, Bellerin, Gabriel, Mertesacker, Gibbs, Coquelin, Cazorla, Wilshere, Ozil, Alexis, Walcott
subs: Szczesny, Koscielny, Monreal, Flamini, Ramsey, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Giroud
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Elegant prose as always Steww. Paints a picture every time.
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does Ospina being selected mean he will be starting the FA Cup final, surely Wenger would have given Szczesny game time if he was starting the final, like he did with Fabianski last season.
the Ox being in the squad and Rosicky not being in the squad is a surprise
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Giroud and Ramsey get the rest!
Interesting front line!
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West Brom: Myhill; Dawson, McAuley, Lescott, Olsson; Fletcher, Yacob, Morrison, McManaman, Brunt; Berahino.
Subs: Palmer, Baird, Gamboa, Gardner, Anichebe, Ideye, Roberts.
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The moaning and groaning about Giroud just grinds my gears. Since he returned from injury, Giroud has appeared in 13 straight PL games with no possible relief from the bench with Welbeck disabled since late April. Any doubts about his sharpness from the “red-zone” experts? Never let facts get in the way of a lazy narrative.
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Great to see The Ox starting but no Tomas !
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Morning, all. What lovely stuff, Stew. I hope you write for us during the summer, if not here, then on your own. Any topic.
I’m always melancholy for the last league game, too. I miss the team and I miss you guys over the long days of summer.
Aaron on the bench today, so I’m doubly sad, but I understand. Would love to see Theo light it up…Jack, too. Come on boys! Let’s have a good warmup to the final!
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anyone got a link to a good stream
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What’s going on here today. Typical Arsenal. No goals in three and then they come flooding in. Jack is on fire today
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Eddie: Do you do Twitter? I could DM you.
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As usual fantastic writing by Steww. Off season is when the madness gets the worst and when rational voices are most needed. Come on Steww.
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Hat trick for Walcott preceded by Tony Gale and commentator demanding new signings. We are ripping them to bits with our passing and they don’t get it that the key is stability.
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steven gerrard getting the BPL send off he deserves, HT: Stoke 5-0 LFC
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Seriously eddy, 5? I thought the Arsenal match was something!
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Kind of you Shotts but really what is there to write about in the summer? There isn’t any football so there isn’t anything to say. There might be a transfer or two (I sincerely hope not of course) but their impact could only be a matter of speculation which is pointless. Better to wait and see how any movement in or out affects the team during next season.
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steww…. there is always enough speculation about transfers to write about though i much prefer where all our loan stars will fit into the squad… from toral to wellington to poldi to Campbell to mention but a few
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was it Shad Forsythe that both Theo and Jack celebrated their goals with
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i read some of these feedbacks on the pool result so far… found been really funny.
Ryan Cowie: Stroke of genius from Brendan, doing everything he can to get out of playing Europa league next season.
Dobs: The 45 minute massacre; starring Stoke as Germany and Liverpool as Brazil.
Chris Waters: What a great gesture by Stoke City to aim for an 8-0 win in tribute of Gerrard’s Shirt number
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newcastle have taken the lead
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poor goal to let in, Ospina not good on that corner
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Ramsey on for Coquelin, and Giroud on for Walcott, about 25 minutes left
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“What is there to write about in the Summer….?”
You have not revealed what the purpose of your visit to the “garden centre” was. Cunning literary device. I’m hooked.
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Wilshere off, Oxlade-Chamberlain, about 15 minutes left
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Steww: there is a need to counter the idiocy. The media and blogs are deliberately mischievous and misleading.
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liverpool on a comeback, its 5-1
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Ramsey unlucky twice now, powershot off the post and curler tipped onto post by the keeper
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Hull down as Newcastle are now two up, stoke 6-1 up,
ospina gets away with a bit of a big blunder
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Well that was a pleasure from start to finish – a good tonic to send us on to Wembley.
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Great piece Steww, I admire your ability to write so well and so frequently for us.
Sounds like we had an outstanding first half and all I can surmise is that Arséne has selection headaches aplenty…That’s the best kind of headache to have…….
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Passenal
I’ll get PG forward my email so that we can more efficiently communicate next week
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That was great. I’ll try to write something in the morning. A Chelsea fan with a flag has just sat down next to me on the train. Way to take the gloss of a happy afternoon.
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Very pleasant entertainment for the last league game of the season. It’s been a great season and a win next week would be the horseradish on the beef.
But I’m sure the very same kind souls who last year said we’d made no progress because although we got 79 points we were still 4th, will now be saying we’ve made no progress because although we’ve moved up to 3rd, we only got 75 points.
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