Like many of us I was deeply saddened to wake yesterday to the news of the death of Richie Benaud. Sport lost another of the good guys and in the world of sports media that leaves a very short list indeed. Among the tributes being paid many people, myself included, shared Richie’s tips for commentators, which could translate as guidelines for life in general. As I looked down the list so many pearls jumped out all of which are routinely ignored by the swine who usually pollute the airwaves during a football match. ‘Avoid clichés and banalities’ is probably the most often transgressed and ‘The Titanic was a tragedy the Ethiopian drought a disaster, and neither bears any relation to a dropped catch’ is a lesson in the dangers of of being sucked into melodramatic hyperbole which the likes of Savage and Pearce probably haven’t the wit to even understand.
My personal favourite however, was the most succinct of them all. ‘Never ask a statement’. I couldn’t help thinking of this perfect and obvious piece of journalistic advice as I watched a repeat of Arsène and his weekly duel with the reptiles. Count how many times they fall foul of the statement as question mistake and it is genuinely depressing how Mr Benaud’s wisdom has been entirely ignored by these odious people. I got to wondering why they do it quite so often. Why make a long rambling statement expressing nothing more than their own opinion and then end either by encouraging Arsène to agree with them or not even bothering to ask a question at all? If I were in the manager’s position I simply wouldn’t answer until they actually asked me something.
But again I wondered why. They can’t all just be stupid. Owen and Savage aside you need a modicum of intelligence to get into the industry in first place, surely. Then it dawned on me. They’re not really asking anything are they? They are simply trying to write the headline in advance. They have no interest in Arsène’s ideas or opinions. One of the single most intelligent and fascinating men in the history of this or any other sport and they don’t even want to know what he thinks. When they say something like ‘Hector Bellerin has been in great form this season, it looks like you have another fine young player on your hands, but you must fear that one day he might want to return to his home country, perhaps following Cesc Fabregas in returning to Barcelona’ all they are waiting for is any hint of a ‘yes’ in Arsène’s response so they can publish ‘Wenger Dreads Barca Exodus’ with the subheading of ‘Arsenal boss says Bellerin could follow in Cesc’s footseps’ or ‘Want Away Catalan Kid Eyes Camp Nou Return’ and then print some guff about his blood cells or some such twaddle. I believe this is why Arsène always begins answers to these minefield questions with the word ‘look’. It avoids a positive or a negative and buys him the second he needs to marshal a politician’s answer. Which is why press conferences are such a waste of time. Like political interviews they are merely jousts between journalists desperate for a slip and interviewees desperate to say as little as possible.
So we didn’t really learn anything from Arsène about today’s opponents nor today’s game. Nothing we didn’t know already. Burnley’s home form is better than their away from, their latter season form is better than their early season form and they are fighting for their lives in the relegation zone. They were unlucky not to beat Spurs in their last game, have recently beaten Man City and drawn with Chelsea so anyone out there who believes this is a simple guaranteed three points for Arsenal needs their head read. You won’t be surprised to hear me say that I think we can win and that we ought to win, it should go without saying that we need to win. While the opposition has admirable qualities and has achieved the creditable results mentioned above we have more than a few advantages ourselves. For one the greatest manager in world football, the most experienced in guiding his team through the rocky road of a season’s end. For another a collection of truly astonishing footballing talent epitomised by the peerless Mesut Özil. With the likes of Jack Wilshere coming back into contention the side will only be stronger still and at long last the manager has genuine options throughout the team.
Having said that will he change a winning line up? He might just do that. He is above all a master tactician, more capable than his peers at changing the balance of the side so that the innate qualities of the players he chooses alters the way in which the team performs. That is his real genius. He doesn’t just ask the same players to play in a different way as many lesser coaches will. He drops one player who posses one set of qualities and picks replacement possessed of a subtly different style. Bellerin for Chambers, say, or Gibbs for Monreal. Thus the way the team plays alters because you have a quicker or taller or more attack minded player in the position. The style of play, the manager’s philosophy remains unchanged but the emphasis alters. We might need a more offensive, faster or more tricksy right side with a more solid left side. Or we could be facing a goalkeeper with an identified weakness so we might need players adept at exploiting that weakness. How Blackburn must rue shooting low to Mignolet’s left every time. Did they learn nothing from us? Perhaps the midfielder Arsène wishes to play on the left covers his fullback better than the one he chose the previous week and so he picks the fullback best suited to the changes that implies. There seems to me much more going on than just not changing a winning side or simply picking the players we like best or who you and I might think are in the best form.
I know nothing about Burnley’s strengths or weaknesses but you can bet the man who matters does and whichever team he selects will be the one he believes is best able to counter and exploit those qualities and frailties. It would be fascinating to hear his thoughts on these kind of subjects but sadly he won’t be asked a proper question any time soon. We can only dream of a world wherein the weekly presser features Arsène and somebody of Richie Benaud’s capacity sitting in pleasant surroundings and discussing in patient depth the art of football management. Instead of which we have something far more closely resembling Cantona’s flock of screeching gulls diving and screaming hoping for a bite of something they can shit out onto the pages of their sordid, demeaning rags.
Positively Arsenal 
I knew it – another fine egg hatched from the nest of Black
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Morning Stew,morning everyone….
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anicoll5 – I’m not sure. I thought it a little dark. I’m wondering if I shouldn’t have gone with the one about Ralph Coates.
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Mel – perfect.
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Marvellous.
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Just focking peachy.
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Excellent, just off now so simply COYG
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Like Stew,Benaud was a hero of mine,only the late great Peter Jones & Bryon Butler have come anywhere close in sport commetry,and only Michael Holding who’s still around. The point about having one of the brightest men on the planet being asked pointless,stupid,headline related questions by halfwit journos will be lost on some so called Arsenal fans because they are as bloody ignorant as the journos. As for today,I’ve got a feeling for another hard thought 2-1 victory against a team fighting for their life’s,this one game a week is certainly helping us purr at the moment,you can’t help but feel if the season went on a month longer..
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You echo my thoughts Mel. Butler and Jones, Holding and Benaud. It was always about the game not about them.
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I don’t think I would go so far as to say I liked Richie Benaud. He was a great broadcaster and before that a fine cricketer, worthy of respect but likeable ? No, not like and I do not think for a moment he could give a toss about popularity.
A dwindling band now of the men who educated me on Test and County cricket as a youngster – Brian Johnston ( superb) Arlott, Bailey, Truman, Mosey and Tony Lewis are those I can recall.
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A bit like politicians today compared to 30-40 years ago journalists and broadcasters then tended to have a bit of like experience behind them rather than being simply shoehorned after education into the trades.
Of the modern crew of cricket pundits as a writer I think Atherton is good, very good on occasions, on the box I think Nasser is worth listening to and thank God for Henry on TMS
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A bloke I could punch every time he opens his mouth, other than Robbie Savage, is Boycott.
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It’s the world we live in Stew,let’s be honest,in what other world would someone actually pay Robbie Savage to talk about anything? Andrew,I once (anicdote alert) drove Geoff Thomson for half an hour or so and when I said to him how lucky he was to watch and talk about a sport he loved for a living,he cut me short by saying he hated watching test cricket and would much rather be fishing or playing golf,the thing about Benaud was-he loved the sport he was talking about.
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I heard Thomson on the radio saying exactly the same Mel a couple of years back – he still has the tiger in him though, I bet the fish dread him.turning up.
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And on a slightly football related point I see it is my third favourite referee with the whistle tonight at Turf Moor – Deano!
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Excellent yet again. I often cringe when listening to the hacks question Arsene. They just try to trip him up- just as you state. I rationalise this by accepting that they have a job of selling newspapers and know that supercilious and cynical comments sell……..bastards!
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Anyway, there is no doubt that Wengerball is back, they such a joy to watch……
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I think it’s partly the quality of the commentators, partly the nature of the sport.
At one extreme, watching a Test Match live at the ground, I love to have TMS on the earpiece. (Even when it’s Boycott, playing straight man to Aggers.)
At the other extreme, watching football on TV, I can’t bear to listen to the commentary and have to mute it.
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In all the talk of cricket we have missed a wonderful football point Stew made. Arsene is a master tactician, he just adjusts the team in a different way to the others. Great point. Great read Stew.
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Dammit the early birds beat me to the punchline but it is still a good morning.
Richie set the standard for sports plunditry for me, and there’s no reason why most of the football plunditry should be so poor in comparison. When the Bleeb picks Joey charlatan Barton alongside the fraud savage as two of their main footy plundits as opposed to say a random if good example in clearance seedorf then what can you say? It’s not quality of the commentators or the nature of the sport but the broadcasters themselves who choose to ruin their own broadcasts with such appointments. They have their reasons.
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Benitez said that the footy hacks never asked him about the actual Football! Rafa’s rant and all that. Slurgus had them all sniffing out of his pocket.
Latest interview on the .com with Rozza was interesting than any hacky slapping:
“there have been ‘adjustments’ (as always) but I can’t tell you what they are!”
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Smeagol? He’s no Dickie Bird.
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< they have their reasons,. Reasons that might make some kind of sense to Greg Dyke or Nigel Farage, but not to most football fans.
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Afternoon folks.
I agree with Steww, how can one not?
I expect Burnley to hold out this evening like the Foreign Legion at Cameron.
It’s going to be no cake walk for us, unless……. Unless
Maybe Olly and Alexis break their hearts early doors.
Sports journalists, can they ever see a long term thing?
I’ve been told America has the best ones, maybe because their sports don’t feature much relegation.
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Anicoll
Isn’t it odd to see Darth Dean reffing a minor match of 2nd vs 19th the league on a Saturday evening, wouldn’t his talent be more suited to a Manchester derby where both of those teams will be desperate not to lose – via fair or foul means.
How about our card happy old chum Anto Taylor reffing The QPR v Chav game?
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It’s Marriner at Loftus road, Clattenburg at Old Trafford.
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Since the turn of the year Dean and Oliver have been on Arsene’s speed dial for games in the NW
Clattenburg is booked for the Ems on the 26th – Chelsea is his favourite team I hear.
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catale male …furigino bahaderi shuta kerkeloren ….!! correct
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If I were in the manager’s position I simply wouldn’t answer until they actually asked me something.
or even better ..enter the conf room with your penis hanging out
“who wants to suck it?’
bitches ….
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what is the best medicine for hangover? i took some panadols but they made me sick…im now having tea…..mommy!!! help!!! moooooom…meatloaf…
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I’ve just read this. Oh my god, it is brilliant. I watch every Arsène presser and always feel a mixture of sickness and joy, the latter relating to his ability to field the utter shit presented to him in every quest-meant, or state-quest, or simply, bollocks.
I’ve fallen out of love with cricket since W.I. failed to dominate. My bias. Therefore, whilst I’ve heard Richie, i didn’t note his or anybody’s commentaries. (I lie. I once watched a match between W.I. and Aus? Maybe 1993/4/5. I think it was a one dayer, played in Barbados. Anyway, something controversial happened, a run-out, where the Aus fielder blocked/balked a W.I. Player.
Micheal Holding was commentating. He went along with the Out verdict despite the replays showing the obstruction – justifying it all they way.
The crowd started throwing bottles onto the pitch and eventually the batsman was back at the wicket. The thing that shocked me was the realisation that Holding (the batsman willy or not) seemed to talk absolute shite that’d conform to some agenda. And this is the same shite that Merson, Wright, Adams and even Keown seem to use in comments or commentary. The effing agenda. The narrative.
Now I mentioned, above, Exercise: Walk up stairs Arsenal players, some of my heroes. Alan Smith and S Houston are worse, but the Owen’s, Savages, Gale’s, Fk, All of ’em, are unbelievably, unquestionably, utter, utter crap.
Linekar, Murphy, Shearer – WTF?
I think I’d better take a break, then re-read this article, and then read the comments.
Peace, if possible. Thanks Steww.
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Amazing to see Hunter up at this hour of the afternoon.
A full fry-up is the only cure.
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Is Gary Neville the only one of them who could understand a tiny fraction of Arsene’s grand plan?
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Fabianski has the second best clean sheet record in the league. He’s the type of keeper the realists have been pining for.
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Hair of the dog, hunter.
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Simply another great piece of blogging by Steww.Take a bow my friend. You have the uncanny ability of stating eloquently the thoughts nagging away in our subconscious,which we are either too lazy or incapable of giving voice. The media and their online echo-chamber simply bullshit us. If they had their way, they would have hounded Wenger out of the club during the difficult years post-Highbury. Using useful idiots such as Piers Moron, Durham, Neil Ashton have made a nice living trolling us with Wenger memes such as
* doesn’t do tactics
* afraid of signing expensive players
* content with 4th place (as a trophy)
* will never win us a trophy
That is why the passing of a no-nonsense journalist such as Richie Benaud deserve special mention in a football blog. Bullshitting has a short shelf -life. Quality will stand the test of time.
Now let us go out and get those 3 points from Burnley.
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Thank you for the comments. George I’m glad the tactical stuff struck a chord. I had got to wondering was it as simple, as black and white as we sometimes think when Nacho for example is preferred over Kieron? Or has it more to do with Hector on the right being better balanced by Nacho on the left and in turn Hector on the right being a good compliment for Per who’s positional play and tackling is superb but for whom speed is a less critical factor. Maybe if Debuchy is picked Kieron comes back to compliment him.
Who knows?
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Not getting ahead of myself as we are still in the 1st half but the Spuds seem to be imploding down the stretch.
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I missed the goal Shotts, who scored?
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Youngest squad in the Premier League, hard to retain the consistency. Where did I read that again?
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Benteke the scorer.
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TBF the Spuds are all over Villa this 2nd half. Should be scoring.
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Villa soaking it up rather than being on the ropes though wouldn’t you say?
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Fist team is out in force today.
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It must be a mark of how far Klopp’ s star has waned. Dortmund lose and not a mention.
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He may have had a tear in his eye after scoring in the TyneWear derby, but Defoe will be sobbing his heart out by 4.55 tonight.
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Amazing to see Hunter up at this hour of the afternoon.
A full fry-up is the only cure.
i kind of fell into hibernation in the sofa and just got up again….whos doing the fry-up? wheres my plate? bring!!!
ranteta how could you forget the guru of football phil tompson in this sky gillete panel ….have to say though that short guyy at the far right with the silver hair, silver suit, silver eyes, silver pins and silver earing is my favourite…’ye gat te shtop ze player daer’
omoiotherapy sounds like a good bet Mr Finn. i tahnk you sir.
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Stew I’m gonna stick my neck out here and say you are part of that very short list. As are both Andrew’s and the much maligned George. Us regular PA readers are really fortunate having you in our stable.
Perfect write-up to a game I’m sure all of us hv been looking fwd to all week. “It’s all about the next game” as Arsène said when asked about what the season hv in store for us.
3 points is the lone expectation. COYG Positivitas.
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TEAM NEWS: ARSENAL UNCHANGED FOR BURNLEY
Arsenal are unchanged from the side that beat Liverpool 4-1 at Emirates Stadium on Saturday.
Laurent Koscielny has shrugged off a thigh concern to start at Turf Moor alongside Per Mertesacker while Hector Bellerin continues his run in the first team.
Elsewhere, Santi Cazorla partners Francis Coquelin in midfield while Olivier Giroud will be looking to add to his 14 Premier League goals up front.
Full team: Ospina, Bellerin, Mertesacker, Monreal, Coquelin, Cazorla, Ramsey, Ozil, Alexis, Giroud
Subs: Szczesny, Gibbs, Chambers, Flamini, Rosicky, Walcott, Welbeck
Copyright 2015 The Arsenal Football Club plc. Permission to use quotations from this article is granted subject to appropriate credit being given to http://www.arsenal.com as the source
Read more at http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/20150411/team-news-arsenal-unchanged-for-burnley#UbA8BaB4WZz6lkmT.99
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Turf Moor is a great name for a stadium.
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