So. That’s how it feels to lose a football match. I was in danger of forgetting so I suppose I should be grateful that the wide kaleidoscope of human emotions has been restored to me. Or at least one dark painful part of the spectrum. We oughtn’t to be surprised and I certainly shan’t dwell, enough breasts have been beaten since Tuesday. The simple equation which we learned as children that all which rises must just as surely descend is all the lesson we need draw. Instead I find myself in reflective mood. I suppose counting one’s blessings in moments of adversity might sum up the thought process.
Those of us who have travelled the rocky road of addiction and abuse are all too familiar with the downside of our habituation. It is a familiar tale and one with which the unaffiliated should also be tolerably well acquainted. The inevitable decline, the adverse impact upon the close friends and family of the addict, the erosion of all the better human traits such as fidelity, honesty, reliability and trustworthiness are a story well told. What people reflect less on is of course the positive side, the joys of the life. The ability to shrug off a despairing guilt ridden midweek hangover with the promise of a big session on the coming weekend, being an obvious example. The way a mundane nine to five every day existence can be infused with anticipation. I refer to the simple anticipation of going home and getting trollied at the end of it. Don’t knock it – it’s all that sustains some people. But no, we prefer to focus on the downside.
It is certainly true that while my every waking thought was not taken up with drinking, that would make any kind of functioning existence impossible, just about any undertaking requiring my participation was envisaged through the prism of the alcoholic. ‘Yes I’d like to go but will there be a bar? If not will it be acceptable to bring drink with me. If so would wine be suitable? It’s three for a tenner in Sainsbury’s right now, but would three suffice for the duration of the event? Or would the trousering of a few discreet hip flasks be more the thing? Will I need to drive? If so can I stay overnight or is there anyone available to drive me back?’ And on and on. And this applied as much to an evening at a friend’s house as to a child’s school sports day. The thing becomes all consuming.
We might also consider the company I chose to keep. This is, I’ve since discovered, a universal trait. The trick is that in order to maintain the delusion of normality in an obsessive one track lifestyle utterly twisted and distorted so that every decision is in some way informed by your addiction, you need to similarly distort the surroundings in which you live out your crazy existence. How do you do this? You envelop yourself with like minded people. Simple when you think about it. If everyone around you reinforces and reflects your behaviour then within that little bubble you can feel normal. An unspoken siege mentality would naturally form within your closed community. Deep suspicion of anyone who wasn’t as serious about their drinking as you and your buddies would be underpinned by a plethora of dubious quotations viz; never trust anyone who doesn’t drink, I drink to make other people more interesting, I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly, I cook with wine – sometimes I even add it to the food, Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy, I feel bad for people who don’t drink; when they wake up in the morning that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day, and on and on. The purpose of this is to at once belittle and demonize those who do not behave as you choose to and strengthen the camaraderie between those who do. At all times you must cast your scorn outwards and thereby avoid ever looking at yourself and seeing what others must see.
Of course I am one of the lucky ones. Like the Mafia it isn’t an easy life to leave but I got out and at the moment I’m still out. I am now entirely free of the kind of errant behaviour I used to think of as usual or at least conventional. There is no part of my life now that in any way resembles that which I have above described. Of course not. Why would I go through the trauma of quitting smoking, illegal and prescription drug abuse and ending the obsessive metabolising of ethanol just to replace it with similar behaviour, albeit a stimulant free one?
On a totally unrelated topic a friend took me up on the offer of a favour recently. Just yesterday in fact. I’ve been waiting for him to say when would be best for him and his family for me to come round and help them out. He has suggested a Saturday. Straight away I started to race through the possibilities of going around and getting the job done by two thirty pm so I could be back by three. Or if I needed to be home by twelve thirty then maybe I could persuade him mid afternoon would be the best time. Of course it might be I need to be home by five thirty or should I just say any Saturday is out unless we convene later in the evening. Or not. Because of course I might be completely free that Saturday. It could be Sunday where I can’t do a simple favour for a friend without it seeming paralysingly difficult or his entire family having to fit in with an arbitrary schedule to suit me and over which I have no control.
I’m also planning a week away, just my wife and myself. Saturday to Saturday is the plan she fancies. We’ll have next to no internet connection, no pubs nearby and no television. Which is part of the appeal. A lovely distraction free restful break. Unless I can persuade her that Monday to Friday would be better. And I might need to pop home on the Wednesday or Tuesday night. But then I’ll just say I want to check on the kids. Or the house. Or something.
At least I can go on twitter or a blog and chat to people who would understand my dilemma. You see, just about all of the people I talk to these days understand the nightmare of fitting everyday life around the simple and understandable and above all commonplace hobby of fanatically supporting your football team. There are some who think we’re a bit odd, take things a bit too far but we just make up funny sounding names for such apostates and all agree that they are the weirdos and not us. I never trust anyone who doesn’t like football. Or who does but doesn’t like Arsenal. Or who likes Arsenal but not as much or in the same way as me and my friends do.
I’m so glad I got clean. Living a normal life is so much less stressful.
Thanks for letting me share. Who’s next?
Positively Arsenal 
For how long did you battle and how long have you been clean??
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Well I’m not really am I GK? That’s the point of the post. I just substituted one all consuming obsession for another. I was trying to write about us, about what we’re like and just using the booze as an illustration. But I suppose I was obsessed from a very young age. Got pissed on a boy scout camp for instance. I quit when I was 43.
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The trouble is that the best nights/times of our lives are the ones when we completely over indulge in weakness.
And though you know the harm it is causing you also know that in the short term,its great.
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Beginning to fear this lighthearted jokey piece may have missed the mark. Come on Arsenal Addicts, its just a bit of fun.
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ah dont worry steww..lately i have discovered this new addiction ….look : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dihydrocodeine
this is the shit!
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I do get the point of the post and I hope the obsession does become more manageable. There are certainly other areas of life that need attention as well are dear to our hearts in different but more important way. Football and ARSENAL are though a fantastic tangent love and diversion. Like going to the gallery and/or the museum to see fine art . Its lovely really and sweet enchanted hours of viewing the ARSENAL through the ages are for me irreplaceable moments of pleasure. I like other types of diversions in my life but this sport and this football organization so closely match my own life and standards that they have become my favorite pass time . Thanks to PA for being one of best locations to meet like-minded lovers of the beautiful game and THE ARSENAL.
HUNTER 13
I’m so sorry mate. I wish you a very fast recovery and back to 100% health. And I pray that the dreaded operation will not be necessary. We love and need you at your very best.
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Being an intveterate drunk I find your honesty great Stew and may the road you are on remain negotiable.
The possibly ‘amusing’ addition I can add is that, for the both alcoholic and the Arsenal addict, there comes the time when those around you, aware of your hopeless obsessions, begin to factor it into their planning.
Oh yes Mrs N will say “we’d love to come for Sunday lunch, sadly the old man cant make it as the Arsenal are on that day at 4.” and as I offer to drive us to and from the party, (and spend the night peering into the bottom of a glass of mineral water) she will come out with “No, No that will mean you cant drink and that is a pain for everyone”
(Pokes out lower lip)
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bless you gkam..fingers toes ..everything crossed..i do not want operation in them ww2 nhs buildings..ive been tossed around three already..whitechappel, whittington and the royal ent…..scary shit….i wish it noone..
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For the life of me I can’t see MERTASACKER fouling or pushing anyone in the box for our second goal that was wiped off. No matter how many times I watch the replay. I think maybe something else was called probably away from action and where the goal was scored. Anyone else see anything that I missed??
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perhaps i can go meet mathieu and give me advise.. 🙂
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hahaha
HUNTER has a new man crush. Is it because he matches the way you play when on the pitch? VIERA & BAGGIO are facing competition. Lol
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well lol if i could play like that id beg wenger to sign me too…hahaaa…im afraid mathieu will laugh at my condition and tell me to grow a pair and use hot iron to flatten it out…or something similar
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Aren’t the best of us obsessive in some way? isn’t that the point Steww?
Guilty as charged your honor.
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Hunter, my yute. What is this operation lark you are on about? i thought you said you were just under the weather. Now it sounds more serious. Swollen skin etc. Don’t muck around. Take good care of yourself. We need you to give us some balance to PA.
*Laughs at own lame joke*
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My damn obsession is the fags. About a pack a day. So pleasurable. My weakness since 1980. Wow . Has it been really that long. Strong point to quit, I would say.
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Great piece stew – an analogy i have used myself, in my professional life. Made me smile.
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lol shotta i thought it was just a stiff neck at first mate from sleeping in sofas …2 – 3 days and thats it but no …lol… last week ive had this thing growing on my neck …..horrible…..docs say if antibiotics dont kick in they will have to perform surgery ……. im happy i can have humour about it so far ( plus the dihydrocodeine) or else id go nuts….havent taken a/b since i was 7? ten? ….hevnt been to work for more than a week they might give my desk away..lol…fuck them all just arsenal to win..ill be ok .
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schummacher
jordan
wenger
rony ( snooker player)
sarunas jasikavicious
all obsessive freaks…all top at what they did/do.
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AVB, Mr Downward Spiral, is simply the best thing going for Arsenal in the motivational department. He is reported (http://www.standard.co.uk/) as saying:
“We will see the big fixtures coming now for Arsenal. They have only played us so far and they have both Chelsea and Manchester City to come, and Liverpool.”
Certainly pin-up material for the boys and AW. I wish he was even more inflammatory.
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I loved that Stew,I’m in the states at the moment..first thing I did on arrival?…found somewhere I can watch the Palace game at 7-45 on Saturday morning!..addicts or hopeless romantics?…a very fine line number 10.
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Mel,don’t take the piss out of people over there.They have guns and shit
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Haha! I wouldn’t dream of it George,although now I’m in this lovely country I do realise that according to some of the numnuts on twitter I’m now not a real Arsenal fan, I think the Miami Dolphins are up the road (do they still exist?!) I should bugger off & support them…I wonder if Roger Perdactor stills plays for them?…a biscuit sorry a cookie for whoever knows who he is.
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Just ask Kelly
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avb certainly dont see themself as big test for us. so i have no problem with his comment.
like ivan gazidis said, they are no more our rival.
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Roger Perdactor
wait………..
wait…..
ive got it…..
its slipping…..
ace ventura !
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“That obesity has a genetic component is not surprising: researchers have long known that it often runs in families. In an issue of The New England Journal of Medicine, Christakis and Fowler suggest that friends have an even more important effect on a person’s risk of obesity than genes do. The authors reconstructed a social network showing the ties between friends, neighbours, spouses, and family members among participants of the Framingham Heart Study, making use of the fact that the participants had been asked to name their friends to facilitate follow-up in the study. The authors observed that when two persons perceived each other as friends, if one friend became obese during a given time interval, the other friend’s chances of following suit increased by 171%. Among pairs of adult siblings, if one sibling became obese, the chance that the other would become obese increased by 40%. The results of this study also indicate that obesity is clustered in communities. For example, the risk that the friend of a friend of an obese person would be obese was about 20% higher in the observed network than in a random network; this effect vanished only by the fourth degree of separation.”
Arsenal fans are going to take over the world……
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Great piece stew.
What’s this thing I’m hearing hunter. Did you push one of your balls to the neck just to get prescripted drugs? Jk, get well.
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Miró miró on zi wall, who iz zi greatest striker in zi world? You are Giroud, you are.
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Steww
I think you’ve totally hit the mark. It’s just that there may be multiple ‘marks’, for various folk(s).
I awoke to an email from my sister informing me of a programme she’d watched: “Old before my time”, the 1st edition of which was about alcohol abuse. As I’m not a drinker, the 15 mins. I watched elicited neither empathy nor sympathy – as I bitterly noted that my alcoholic mates all have relationships and/or kids, and CHOOSE that particular place to go and escape. (Fortunately, when I wrote the above, some hours ago, the compu overheated and shut down – possibly reflecting my inner feelings at the time. Your fortune, along with other readers, is that I’ll no longer go where I was heading, at 9:45).
Now I’m back, the first thing I notice is the title of this wonderful article. (Chortle, chortle). I now also acknowledge your post at 10:03, and in doing so I’ve re-read your sagely words. Your article is not only Wonderful – it’s Brilliant. And having had some much needed exercise and having juiced (that’s fruit+veg juice, through an extractor, which’ll prolly make any alky’s sick to read), I’ve been able to take in this piece – closer to the way it may have been intended.
I’m able to recognise that I am indeed, an Arseaholic! This addiction goes along with smoking fags (roll-ups, actually), and chocolate and junk food, and……..
(I did a 30 day juice-fast back in July. Oh yes, I was a smug bastard, but that’s what you get when you break an addiction, albeit – temporarily. I’ve just rewarded my exercise by eating 3 sausage rolls and there’s apple crumble to come. Still, at least I’m not eating all that a 2 in the morning. Laudable?)
I suppose I realise that not drinking in my youth was a terrible mistake, as that kind of “foolishness” leads to happy relationships preceded by drunken shagging, and therefore, less of last week’s topic, “BJ’s and self-pleasurement”. Oops, another addiction? Was that even last weeks topic? Probably not.
Geo p@3:25
I guess I’m looking for a skinny tee-total non-chocoholic who loves football and adores my own addictions. Can you help? Can anyone?
Shotta
Ta for the link to AVB’s quotes. I’m desperate to think he was asked leading questions and that the hacks have only reported the “juicy” bits. AVB would surely not be reminding Mike the Riley to insist that his refs continue to **** us over, so that “their” beloved spuds finish the season above us.
I’m off to Morrisons. I read on Hotukdeals that said supermarket are selling 1 litre of Bailey’s for £9. (I know so many people who’d appreciate this as an xmas gift).
Bottoms up.
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RANTETTA
hahaha. Nice post.
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Get well soon, H13.
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It was probably KOSHER’S push on a defender that caused the foul to wipe out AARON’S goal vs BVB.
Keepem coming avb.
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Thanks, goonerkam.
I see we have similar addiction in the old fags. I wonder if Mel would bring back Natural American Spirit tobacco for me? It’s so much cheaper over there and it comes in BIG tins. Look at this ****ing addict. I’m not like him, am I?
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Hahaha. American spirits is my prefered brand too,after being a Marlboro man for fifteen years or so. Oh , and I forgot chocolates .
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Feel bad about Halloway. Looks like right burnout. I hope they don’t replace him with that jackass pulis.
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Maybe the trick is to spread the obsessions around? I mean, I am not going to find my inner peace and enlightenment in a hurry. But a balance of excess between different obsessions seems to work for me. Or at least it hasn’t gotten totally out of hand yet. Workaholism, Arsenal, reading, beer, cigarettes, sex, family and a smallish binge every weekend. Not necessarily in that order, mind.
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goonerkam October 24, 2013 at 4:53 pm
ahahahah..thank you..ive just suffered watching karate kid 3 and king kong ( the new one) such awful films…i think i overdosed to cope …i had to return to my addictions here…great choice..
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cheers rantetta , appreciated!
where is mel …i want my cookie…
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I can hardly believe it. You too smoked Marlboro’s, and latterly found American Spirit. In about 2000 I was smoking AS ready-mades. They were more expensive than other brands but I loved them so much I phoned the importers, who sent me a brochure. It was then I found out about the rolling tobacco. I chased those ****ers – demanding: where’s the roll your own being sold? I found it in the now defunct Oddbins (wine merchants to another set of bloody addicts). Then Sainsbury’s started selling the stuff. Nowadays it’s available at many of the big supermarkets – Morrisons £8.30, Tesco £8.34. I don’t know Asda’s price but it’ll be competitive. Sainsbury’s, however, charge a good deal more for the 25gram pouch, and the brand no longer comes with a pack of rolling papers.
I am not an addict. If I write that often enough I may quit.
I too feel a bit sad about Ian Holloway. Back in 2010/11, or whenever he brought Blackpool into the Prem, his side played attractive football (with unattractive players – well, a bit fat or Norwich looking) and they done really well, but I believe they were screwed over by the refs. Strangely enough I seem to remember us getting a couple of fortunate decisions at their place – and they may’ve been the only fortunate decisions Arsenal got for the whole ****ing season.
Here’s one of Ian’s ANAL-ology moments:
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Have you ever tried to estimate how much time you use on following Arsenal and football? Did it once: 17 hours in one week. It’s better not to know.
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If we are doing addiction and obsession we need the proper music;
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i see you anicoll and raise
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Nice topic. Clever title.
So far, the Arsenal love has been manageable. Some bitter experiences on other sites have also helped in keeping it in check. I no longer visit main stream media regarding Arsenal news. PA and arsenal.com are pretty much the only sources I use. I come many times in a day to PA and read and enjoy the wonderful comments and posts. I go to arsenal.com, because I have realised that Wenger’s comments are the best objective analysis of our games.
Steww, your post made me wonder if my love for my ex also had elements of addiction. Probably did. Cant decide if it was good or bad. It was a strange situation with her.
Mickey makes a very good point about spreading our obsessions/energy.
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hahaa mickey …baba ; )
though i feel barneys beats them all …
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the LWC’s are playing Sheriff Tiraspol,
Wigan vs Rubin Kazan,
and Swansea vs Kuban Krasnodar.
Is this Game of Thrones night?
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how do you display the videos?
Steffan Freund acts like a complete muppet.
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lol DC
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some interesting names tonite in wigan vs rubin kazan. mvilla playing for rubin and holt, grant holt playing for wigan.
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Arsenal an addiction? Well, it’s the only thing that will get me out of bed at 6:45 am on a Saturday, that’s for sure!
Glad to have you on our fair shores, Mel. Enjoy having the entire day in front of you after the game is over on Saturday. But you may want to make time in your schedule for an afternoon nap. Then you can watch a little college football…the American kind. I recommend the Alabama/Tennessee game. At my house that’s like Arsenal/Spuds. Unfortunately, I support Tennessee, the Spuds equivalent in that analogy, and we’re probably going to get killed.
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