Thank the deity of your choice that the sideshow is over.
International football, that utterly meaningless distraction, with its attendant pandering to nationalism, racism and general xenophobic flag waving, has at long last finished using our precious playing staff for its own tedious ends and they can now limp back to London and the treatment tables. We really can’t afford to lose anyone else in this worthless cause. I believe it has been little short of miraculous that we have managed to get to this stage of the season at the top of both of our leagues considering the butchers bill we’ve had to pay so far. It would take a man braver or more foolhardy than me to predict our continued success without a major improvement in our injury list, you just cannot ride your luck forever. This is the main reason I detest the international breaks.
It appears that our German wonder boy may just be a little bit sore and not actually on a gurney en route to the knackers yard, but even if he has survived we’ve still lost more than our fair share of players to these irritating fixtures over the years. I have heard the argument that it’s good for the individuals concerned to play and play well for their country. They feel a sense of pride and accomplishment and this is a benefit for their self esteem and ultimately for their performances when they return to play for the clubs who actually pay their wages. Really? Say my partner went off every few weeks giving blow jobs to one of my neighbours. I can see how this might well cheer him up considerably and she could conceivably achieve a sense of pride in her performance and maybe come home a happier and more accomplished lover. Whilst I would recognise how satisfying the arrangement would be for my neighbour and even for my wife, you wouldn’t really expect me to be dancing for joy each time she set out to visit him or standing by the bedside and cheering them on would you? Especially if she came back with a hamstring injury that put her out of action for six weeks.
This is however the awful situation in which we find ourselves and there is nothing we can do to change it. At this time I would, in the past, have found myself bemoaning the loss of momentum, especially if we were in a good run of form. On this occasion I sensed the side had peaked against Napoli and that we struggled a little to contain a very good West Brom team. Perhaps for once the cursed international break came at a good time. Aaron certainly broke his long goal drought at last, albeit for a different team, and as George and his pals pointed out in the most recent podcast when Mr Ramsay is not at his industrious best the whole team lacks a little spark. If only Tomas were five years younger, he being to my mind the other inspirational player in our squad; a fizzing, crackling firework of a footballer who galvanises us with his tireless running, balletic spinning and instant passing. On the bright side we might have Señor Cazorla back available to us for the weekend and I know many of us are eager to see just how he and Mesut will play together. It is a mouthwatering prospect, almost a little immodest to start them both. One footballing wizard per midfield is surely enough for any team isn’t it? I just hope they get a good run together because no matter how talented you are you still need a knowledge and understanding of the players around you to really make things happen on the pitch.
If the worst comes to the worst and both are unavailable it could be a disguised blessing for Jack. He would be the obvious choice to play behind Giroud in what is surely his best position. He certainly isn’t a left winger and while I completely understand him doing his time out there and lets face it we can all see the benefits to Aaron’s all round game from his own stint out wide, poor Kieron has been left horribly exposed at times. If Tomas is fit he can do a job on either flank and Serge has more than proved himself on the wing. It wouldn’t be ideal to have such inexperience on one side with both Corporal Jenks and Gnabry playing, but until Lucas, Bac and Theo return we may not have a choice.
These are interesting times. With phase one completed satisfactorily we now need people back for phase two. Still top by Christmas is a rather splendid prospect, but as us recovering boozehounds will tell you, it really is one game at a time. Anyway I only popped in to say hello, I’ll be back with my wildly inaccurate and mostly nonsensical Norwich pre match gibberish, so until then let’s just cross our fingers, rub our lucky heather and pray the missus comes back from next door in one piece.
Positively Arsenal 
Say my partner went off every few weeks giving blow jobs to one of my neighbors. I can see how this might well cheer him up considerably and she could conceivably achieve a sense of pride in her performance and maybe come home a happier and more accomplished lover. Whilst I would recognize how satisfying the arrangement would be for my neighbor and even for my wife, you wouldn’t really expect me to be dancing for joy each time she set out to visit him or standing by the bedside and cheering them on would you? Especially if she came back with a hamstring injury that put her out of action for six weeks.!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahahahahahahhaaaa!!!!!!! That is classic and you have made my day!!! I am still laughing to work now looking forward to saturday!!!!! Have a blessed and thank you for such a great post
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^^^^^ same thing….cant stop laughing…i think i ned to get out of office so i can laugh freely…..
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I wanted to be first on to congratulate Steww on another excellent article – by reprinting the blow-job analogy. I was beaten to it. It really is the only thing I have to laugh about, following the internationals. It’s an updating of the “stolen car left in field with no petrol”, told by Houllier/Wenger.
Steww’s is such a brilliant and imaginary piece that I’ll have to re-read the article to see what is was about, because at this moment I’m trying to figure out which of my neighbours I might get a gobble from, and exactly how I’d use this story to convince said wives that it’d ‘be good for ’em’.
Rest assured I’ll be thinking of illicit sex ALL DAY. (that’ll be a first).
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quite an epic analogy ! the bach of analogies
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Steww
Did your wife approve the analogy?
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hi steww, you touched about everything since football stopped last week. i hope to finally see cazorla and ozil together.
there is this news that arsene will sign his long awaited extention in the next two weeks. i cant wait for it to happen even as i’m sure some people will be on their knees praying otherwise because their ‘end of an era’ prophesy is about to be finally nailed.
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i cant wait for it to happen even as i’m sure some people will be on their knees praying otherwise because their ‘end of an era’ prophesy is about to be finally nailed.
🙂
i will await to see them honourable men coming out saying “sorry i was a 100% wrong”
mmmm yeah right……..
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honourable men? i doubt it.
it is either they say arsene quickly changed his policy and spent the money after he read their blog or simply act as if it never happened.
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the fans brought ozil layksite !! it was all them!
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I might move to a house near Stew.
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Great stuff Stew – as usual
From my invariably contrarian standpoint however I still like international football and Arsenal players being involved.
First it is football, sometimes of exceptional quality, and it has to be a very bad game of football between two very bad teams not to get my interest and for me to enjoy watching the contest. Every game has got ‘something’, I am a fan and search for it.
Second, I enjoy watching our players, particularly those who have come through the youth set up at the club or as young players drafted in as relative unknowns testing themselves against the very best players in the world, especially in real tournaments with real trophies. From the pragmatic standpoint if you play alongside the best players in the world, and against them, you ‘should’ improve.
Knocks and injuries happen, but it a risk every player of every club takes every time they play and train (or warm up these days)
Finally Stew what can I say about the metaphor of the blowjob other than ” If you love someone, let them free”
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Nice one steww.
I do, however, side with anicoll in respect of the internationals and our players playing them ( I am an England fan and always have been and always will be and, of course, the same with The Arsenal.) I do worry that our players will get injured but then I worry that will happen when they are playing for Arsenal too and, therefore, I echo Anicolls post above throughout… with the exception of one part… the BJ analogy, I don’t find as easy to swallow as he does.
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anicoll5 you surely aren’t suggesting our players play with a better standard of footballers when they wear an England shirt than when they turn out for Arsenal. If so I entirely disagree.
Steve – I too support another team. I like Bristol Rovers but I don’t want to see Arsenal first teamers put at risk to help them.
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The problem you have though, Stew, is that the footballers themselves want it. Each and every one of them wants to play at the highest level they can and almost without exception, I would imagine, each wants to play for his own country.
That vicarious side of me wants nothing else other than to see the Jacks, Theos and Ozils play for both club and country as often as possible and I have long accepted that is part of how football works.
I see exactly where you’re coming from (as your partner can with your neighbour) and, when such injuries do occur I do admit to a brief “grrrrr” at the national team coach/manager who picked them to play but, ultimately, accept that is how it was, is and always will be.
When I was young it was a badge of honour at school if players from Arsenal were playing for England, it was something to boast about. That became ingrained in my psyche I think. As I grew up and was fortunate enough to attend games more often and started to pick up on the odd comment contrary to my then understanding of things, I did start to question whether I thought it was such a good thing. I then started to see that whatever I said or thought it was never going to change and came to the conclusion that accepting it – to the point now that I again enjoy seeing our players parade their wares on the international stage – is the best way for my own health and sanity.
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National teams are essential in the development of African, Asian, Middle East and probably American football; the opportunity for top players in local leagues to confront, and sometimes play with some of the best in the world. National teams are always superior to the best clubs in local leagues, they include the best players local or exports. On the back of a good showing players can make real career breakthroughs. It’s opposite in major European leagues, if you’re in the French, German, Italian, Spanish, English and Portuguese top division you’re playing against and with some of the best players in the world all season long. National teams are never going to be as cohesive and tactically developed as the upper third of the top leagues.
It’s been a long time since world cup or European cup football has excited me, with innovation, tactical development or flair, with the odd exception, like Chile in South Africa or Cameroon in Italy. National football is too much based on defensive mindset, score once, and do not concede. Football has changed so much in that sense, almost unrecognizable from previous eras where Hungary in the 50s, Brazil in the 60s and 80s, Netherlands in the 70s set the world alight. Maybe Germany and Spain come close in recent years from the 90s onwards. But watching Italy win 1-0 for example is quite the most boring pastime, and England, well … if you’re not English, hmm, hazardous.
Ladies football is quite the opposite. It’s a joy watching USA, Korea, Sweden.
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“anicoll5 you surely aren’t suggesting our players play with a better standard of footballers when they wear an England shirt than when they turn out for Arsenal. If so I entirely disagree”
I would say that our young England players, turning out alongside the likes of Rooney, Gerard, even Frank are playing with very good players from whom they could learn a lot and do worse than emulate. In Wayne’s case obviously I refer to his on field activity.
Whether they are of a ‘better standard ‘ in the current England team is debatable I agree. I think as likely Jack and Kieron and Theo and the OX might learn more from playing against top international sides and players than alongside them.
It is not just England though is it ? Ozil and Merts play alongside my favourite player in Europe bar none Thomas Muller, and Philip Lahm, Schweinsteigger, all brilliant players
Sagna and Kosc and Goroo have Ribery to learn from and rely on
Santi and Nacho Spanish internationals in a monstrously strong squad packed with quality and the flare of genius
And in spite of ending up on the losing side on Tuesday Szcz was excellent in his return, older and wiser, to the Poland side
So on this Stew – we shall agree to disagree
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How can it be to pickup a hamstring injury giving a you what. BJ
LOL. Is it even possible?
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One thing it took me a long time to realise is that supporting a national team, England, is not at all the same as supporting your club
It may be that if England were a genuinely top footballing side, challenging for hours in every competition for top spot I might look at it differently.
I used to take it SO seriously.
I worked out however if you are tied to perennial qualifiers and quarter finalists the trick is to be like the Irish, be like the Swedes, or the Mexicans
Relax, paint your face, cheer whats good, and enjoy the party – don’t let the result spoil your day
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international football is all right I guess. My only problem with it is the scheduling of some of the games in the middle of the club football season. We have been derailed a few times when our players pick up injury playing INT.FOOTY in the middle of a season. It is not fair to the clubs . And the fans.
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I find my enjoyment of the international break is in negative correlation with the number of Arsenal players involved in it. There was a time when I would be disappointed for one of our guys who were overlooked for his country, or was selected but never took to the pitch. Now it’s the opposite; I am glad to see Gibbs and Arteta miss out and get a well earned rest, and the likes of Podolski, Cazorla, Monreal, etc. only make their nations’ bench and return to Arsenal fresh and healthy.
Even if they all manage to avoid injury it still puts us at a disadvantage when the club fixtures return. Arsene gets 2-3 days with his players to prepare for the next game while Norwich, for example, are likely to have had the bulk of their squad for these 2 weeks. In theory it’s something all the big clubs have to deal with but when the international friendlies taking place next month roll around, you can bet all the big clubs will hold back a chunk of players citing false knocks. Given the hectic club schedule of November and December those friendlies are an unnecessary burden and one can’t really blame clubs for wanting to protect their players, but as Arsenal are usually honest in this regard we tend to suffer.
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think positive- hamstring better than an STD
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One of the problems is with our English players is they play Wengerball all through their development only to play stagnant dour regressive football with England, the metaphor for getting an injury like that is more being anally ripped by an elephant than your wifes neighbour bj.
Another reason we have come to hate these fixtures is we seem to have suffered more than most and especially before major domestic and European contests
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I think some of you are in danger of taking my analogy too literally.
With reference to internationals I do say that I know it is what it is and we must accept it. I still don’t think playing against international teams is a higher calibre than the teams they face in the prem or the champions league. The standard of football I watched at the last European championship was pretty average.
But it’s one of those things – I used to watch and support the national team but a few years ago I realised that I just could never ever support a team with the likes of Gerrard, Rooney, Cole and above all else John Terry playing for them.
Not unless any of them signed for Arsenal of course. I’m as hypocritical as the next man where sporting allegiances are concerned.
As far as Zimpaul’s post goes I’m not in any way qualified to comment.
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“I think some of you are in danger of taking my analogy too literally.”
Now you tell me
She’s just left !
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Maybe im getting old but sometimes id rather watch ARSENAL than revive a bj ,
Stew maybe you shouldn’t use sexual content in your analogies it makes everyone go funny and wander of the point.
Personally I can not concentrate on quality of internationals when im constantly worrying about our players
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Thanks Steww.
Ill avoid the double entendres, for once.
I get your drift in that watching the big international teams can look a bit a like some of the more rich super club squads, and I agree the passion seems to be a bit.lacking with the players or fans for the big countries, compared to supporting a. Club like ArsenL.
Spare a thought though for the little folks in the countries who may never win the World Cup or euros, Africa cup or whatever. Even though the minor countries are just there to make up the numbers, there is enormous pride in playing for your country – it can be. A way for the average Joe footballer (and fan) to mix it on equal terms with the elite of the world.
I’m sure Tommy Rosicky loves playing for the Czechs, Shezzy for Poland, Frimmy for Ghana and so on. As a supported of a no-hope national team, I get the chance now and again to see them put the ball of the England net.
Always a nice feeling.
Your wife says hello.
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Zimpaul’s post – is better than mine.
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Well another season over – another AGM safely negotitated – AST unhappy
Oh well
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From reports of the AST.
Loved Sir Chips response to Q: ”what are the ambitions of the Club?”
A: to win trophies! …
“(You fucknut)…..and to hear the Lamentation of their women”.
Is how he should have finished it off.
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Dexter has surfaced
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Wenger’s 3 point plan for success:
Rely on Arsenal’s heart, Arsene’s head and the board’s financial balls.
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Dexter has surfaced!!!
Holy cow, run for your lives.!!! lol
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Shouting into the void today – @3:30 am UK time.
I’ll confess to a bit of a soft spot for international football. Up until two years ago, it was the only kind of football I ever got to watch. No club football was shown on any channel I had, except for an occasional off season friendly game shown on ESPN. When I finally got FoxSoccer channel, I was excited to watch it on a regular basis, instead of having to wait for international games to come around. And when I finally decided it was time to stop being a casual fan and choose a team to support, I might have ended up with Liverpool if young Aaron had not turned my head while playing for Team GB in the Olympics! So, you see, if not for international football, I probably wouldn’t be here. But now, of course, I just get irritated when our players get sent back broken! But I know they love playing for their countries, so I tolerate it for them.
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http://kickne.ws/1/2958005
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http://kickne.ws/1/2957784
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anicoll5 October 17, 2013 at 1:57 pm
and lets not forget the real reason of international football and tournaments, non other that the panini albums….treasure!
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God I loved those albums – It appealed to the anorak inside me – the money I spent in 1970 Hunter trying to get hold of some Bolivian fullback or Cuban goalkeeper !
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Tomas coming fully back introduces the interesting possibility of his starting left (not his best role I admit, but he’s more than capable) and Serge right against Norwich, a team not to be underestimated, especially on the back of international break, and especially at our home. The midfield might then bring together Flamini with Arteta, since neither played, and Jack. All things being AOK, Santi and Ozil come in for Tomas and Jack in the usual 70th minute and spice it up. Just a thought, permutations are now endless. Aaron is hard to leave out but can’t play every game.
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I would hazard a wild guess that for Dortmund we might see the first of Arteta (or Flamini, depends), Aaron, Ozil, Santi (leftish) and Tomas (right).
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anicoll
i actually dont think our young players have a lot to learn from the likes of gerrard rooney and lampard. what can gibbs learn from a deteriorating cunt like cole?
just take a look at how wilshere has changed since he started mingling with these players. his style of play has greatly changed. arsenal way of playing is not about agression but finesse, beauty and attractive possession. playing with the likes of gerrard has made it impossible for him to play the one touch football he grew up and learned to play with pires, fabregas and rosicky. ‘ we are england, we play agressive and tackle hard, we are difficult to beat’. that is what wilshere has become playing for england.
just flaShback a few years to emirates cup,.you will see the wilshere arsenal produced. gerrard is the main reason england cant play good football. he is incapable of playing simple and short passes for a while without distrupting it with his ‘hollywood pass’. the only thing jack can learn from him is maybe loyalty to his club.
i prefer that ox play with frank ribery than welbeck and young. wilshere will learn more playing with ozil and cazorla than lampard and gerrard. rosicky is is a better model player than these overhyped ‘golden generation’ players. it pains me seeing jack covered with tattoos as if he was not brought up the arsenal way.
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I think one thing Jack could learn from Gerard and from FF is the art of tacking hard, particularly in Gerard’s case, but not endangering yourself in the process Layksite
Jack has taken to hurling himself into challenges with, unfortunately for him, all to predictable results both in terms of injuries and cards
I remember Gerard as a young player at Anfield pretty much much the same, too much full on, not enough brains in his work.
And the other thing young Jack might learn from Fulham Frank is how to score goals, a part of his game that he recognises needs to improve and – hate him or just generally despise him – Lampard has scored a hatful of goals from midfield – it aint all luck !
Jack plays for England and Arsenal – if he is not learning from both experiences then he needs a kick up the arse
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A great riposte the those ‘whining gooners’
http://is.gd/G9KEOJ
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You can avoid reading the first 20+ paragraphs before the photo it’s not very good. But after that it is a good read….
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You have an assignment Hunter;
http://www.londonsportswritingfestival.com/?ai1ec_event=the-men-who-made-arsenal-tom-watt-in-conversation-with-patrick-barclay-amy-lawrence-philippe-auclair-and-david-winner&instance_id=
As always, should you or any of your PA force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. Good luck, Hunter. This post will self-destruct in five seconds.
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Warning: The video on ArsenalPlayer of Rosicky, Carzola, Ozil and others in training can be dangerous. Excitement overload. And that’s without Walcott and Chamberlain who will be missed in this mini-crunch, though that Gnabry kid could always play again. I suppose. Plan, eh? There was a plan? Blimey. Who’d have thunk it.
–
Thinking about what Ronan had to say about Ramsey: he will miss a few games at some point this season, and I wouldn’t mind him getting a rest tomorrow. e.g. one of Arteta?Flamini + St.Jack or Rosicky behind Ozil/Rosicky with Carzola/Rosicky given the wandering remit of olde.
But how can you rest/drop a player (for Dortmund) when they are playing like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yr8kjjNu28U
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i see arsenal taking at least a two point lead tomorrow. liverpool will drop points against n’castle.and i cant see victory for spuds.
flamini has two games to collect one more yellow card that will make him miss a game. and then have a clean bill to play against liverpond.
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I suppose I’m with Anicoll on what can a youngster can learn in England set up. Not everything. Not Arsenal’s passing game, no. But realistically a few things; for Gibbs as much as we detest Cole he has been a superb left back, especially his positional play that arrives in more mature players after a long playing time. As for Jack, from Gerrard he may learn what is possible with a look and a long, accurate diagonal pass, still Gerrard’s forte really; from Lampard, maybe how to take an opportunistic effort running behind the striker; from Rooney perhaps, aggressive mentality, tracking back.
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Layksite @12.51
Very interesting thoughts.
You may have solved the Jack conundrum.
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The Yokels have had 2 weeks to prepare for tomorrow.
They have won in similar circumstances post-internationals before.
Hit them quick, hard and often.
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Its all angry mobs roving across the countryside, blazing haystacks and pitchforks up here tonight DC – Norwich fans getting into the mood for the game tomorrow I suspect
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