We here at Positively Arsenal have truly had enough.
We cannot believe that a club could be so foolish as to sacrifice chances of success in the short term in hope of sustained success in the longer term. Who cares what happens a year or two from now, we want trophies and we want it right now.
We cannot believe that the club could be so naive as to not let its footballers dictate what the manager should be doing and how the club needs to be run. Everyone knows that the best teams in the world are run by the biggest egos on the pitch.
We cannot accept that the Arsenal are 2nd to Spurs at something. Yes indeed, we cannot accept that a regular Arsenal season ticket costs less money per game than a Spurs season ticket, we’ll never hear the end of that from them.
We cannot believe that the club have not shown ambition by publicly declaring their interest in the world’s best players like Messi, Ronaldo and Maradona. This is the kind of player Arsenal should always seek to sign, who cares if we sign a flopped French winger from Juventus and build him up into a superstar at the same level of these players.
We cannot believe that the club continues to employ the coach of the last decade for so long. They should genuinely consider listening when big teams like Madrid want him because we’re sure someone like Owen Coyle could do an outstanding job.
We cannot believe that Arsenal offered such a well paying contract to Jack Wilshere. He is a piece of shit overpaid deadwood since he’s missed more games than he has played for us.
We cannot believe that Arsenal doesn’t have any coaches employed and that the players don’t train. After all, we can tell from the occasional mistakes that they’re not coached at all even if we don’t know what happens in the training ground.
We cannot believe that Arsenal actually want to show some real ambition and compete at the highest levels of Europe in the Champion’s League each season. Everyone knows that dropping out from that into the Europa League is what is best for the future of the club.
We cannot believe that Arsene Wenger doesn’t tell us fans what we want to hear every time he speaks and he doesn’t publicly call his players shit. He needs to learn the art of saying what we want to hear without meaning what he’s saying from Usmanov.
We cannot believe that there is a quote about loving the Arsenal with or without trophies going around that may or may not be fake. Who cares anyway that the sentiment and the meaning should be true for any supporter, all that matters is that we feel better and less guilty that Bergkamp didn’t say it.
We cannot believe that Arsene Wenger doesn’t overachieve more than he already does. You’d think that spending less net amount on transfers since the stadium move than any other Premier League team since 2006 would allow you to win trophies under a half decent manager.
We cannot believe that the club is in such a decline. We’ve never seen us stay in the top 3-4 consistently for over a decade before now and that is simply unacceptable.
We cannot believe that it is so hard to support a team that consistently finishes top 4 and plays the best teams in Europe every season. We wish it were back to easier times when the only thing we could complain about was drawing too many games while going undefeated.
If you’ve caught on to the obvious sarcasm, here’s to the 1st of April. If you actually thought we were serious and were agreeing with every word, do have a word with yourself.
Positively Arsenal 
Lol. Happy April fools from Australia!
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😂
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Excellent April fools day – it made me laugh, but sadly every line is a familiar refrain from the dormers!
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boro primorac has retired and the club is looking for a new sniper to take boro;s position at emirates roof …im on my way to finalise details of the contract
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Brilliant piece. Love the line about dropping into the Europa cup……. And they actually mean it
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Watched the game again last night .
Rosicky was better than I thought .And I thought he was excellent.
He just seems better than Jack ,by quite a distance..
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One is the Master, the other his apprentice!
There can only be two. Unless you throw in Carzola, and all the others.
Help! What has happened to my beloved Arsenal?
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A veritable Doomer tour de force!
You left out two of my personal favourites from the annals of the myth-builders, though.
The first, the accusations of ‘asset-stripping’ on the part of manager and board which always sat uncomfortably next to the oft imagined existence of vast pots of money.
These variable – but always HUGE sums – were just waiting to be spent and of course would have been had it not been for Wenger’s obstinence and/or self-evident passion for asset-stripping in the first recorded instance in corporate history of an individual accumulating and preserving precious assets on behalf of the business supposedly being relieved of said assets.
Genius really.
The second great myth is the idea that Wenger has lost it – whatever you choose to imagine ‘it’ to be. This remarkable ability to simply ignore everything else going on around us all in the world of football can only be marvelled at. The utter failure to add context to the predicament, the actions and activities of the club in a ‘fluid’ and ever-changing footballing landscape, takes a very special brand of one-eyed madness.
Both symptoms of doomer lunacy were very much in vogue in some parts pre-Xmas, though you hear a little less of it these days, sadly (for them) as their arguments turn to deadwood in a debate that gets dismantled and killed off with every improving performance, every step of consolidation taken by a settling squad bursting with talent and ambition.
For most of us, April 1st comes around but once each year.
Perhaps we should spare a thought for those for whom EVERY day is April Fool’s Day?
It really can’t be easy for them.
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Having a word with myself right now.
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Mel, I was acting the twitter voyeur and saw some comments on the rocky celebrations. I thought that picture went up late on purpose!
–
Lest it be written that these pages are incapbable of rational or considerate critiques it is fair to say that at times that the PR wallah’s are not the smartest. At Arsenal or anywhere else (see Bill Hicks!). I went to the game on Saturday with someone who may or may not know of the studio that redesigned the AFC crest/badge. What may or may not have gone wrong there I asked, don’t ask was the reply: a brief is a brief. Someone at the club, probably some lame arsed consultants wanted a modern Arsenal logo. PR genius’ I guess: they don’t really value tradition in Asia etc. Um.
Perhaps someone in the PR department should’ve asked Arsene how such things are considered in Japan? You know…? Wait what am I thinking, it was Arsene dictating every single move and act! Obviously, duh. Silly me. I blame Arsene for the changing of the badge, the creation of the premier league, colour television and everything else.
Maybe the badge is fine as it is!
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Finsbury, you forgot that he is also at fault for this long, cold winter we are still ‘enjoying’ in the UK. Winters were mild and short before he came to town. Waah Iwant my mild winter back!
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The Positive Arsenal logo, modelled of the arsenal crest looks ‘modern’ but it is nice. I’d like to hear Els’ thoughts about the logo.
Changing of the logo is not some kind if metaphor for the club, the design can always be changed or revised! Whereas the stadium is very much made from concrete.
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Passenal someone should have a word.
It’s freezing! The trees are getting confused.
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If you think “We’ve had Enough” is a vulgar carricature of doomerdom, the following is a quote of a respondent to Tom Stillman’s (Little Dutch) excellent match report at Vital Arsenal:
“No trophies again, well off the pace in the league, outclassed in the ECL humiliated in the Capital and FA cups. Now we will scrape into the ECL a trophy we never win and celebrate beating Spurs who last won the premiership 50 years ago. Yawn.”
As Andrew said of April fools.
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Are most people in favour of a Chavvy win against the mancs today?
Presumably the loss of Cole won’t do us any harm and the prospect of extra games for the waffer thin blue segment of west London will also work in our favour. Plus the satisfaction of seeing Red Nose browned off at crashing out of this replay …
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ha ha ha!
Brilliant stuff!
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Finsbury, Arsenals director of communications didn’t get back to me on Saturday, good job really!-a bitter sweet day actually,my nephews first game and a good old piss up with both my brothers and mate,even a drunken wedding invite from a couple of Reading fans in the 12 pins!, but that Rocky tribute inside the stadium was sadly underwhelming, 7 minutes past 3? Not difficult is it? I love Arsenal, love the players,love the manager,love the proper Arsenal fans but “the suits”?, they can all fuck right off, director of communications? Communicate my arse.
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Haha… Good one.
They should name April 1st national press day in Britain.
Chavs to draw with red nose . Will there be Extra time or penalties or a rematch?
BTW a friend of my mine in the know hinted at that we may be signing “the” striker this summer. Can’t tell more without revealing my source O:-)
Have a fun day
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AS far as singing the best. I have always wanted us to go for Pele but is just too blow wow cheap!
Wenger out!
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We have been told that our signings are not too good and we don’t have any good finishers. 3 players in their first season have all scored 10 or more (has that even been done before? I doubt it)).To that we can add that two, Podli and Santi are at the top of the assist stats.
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Apart from Santi, that is.
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puahaha fuck you manchester united ..treble huh? my arse…be happy with your epl for which you win by default and only because of dodgy penalties and opponents ending games with 10 and 9 players…rotation? tactics? vintage? strong squad? mesmerising football ? …. muahahaha…
ahhh what i wouldnt give for a repeat of last years MONUMENTAL bottling from the “champions” …. and especially if we are the ones to cause the last damage ..the one that kills all their hopes…wake up mancini..slap nasri kick him even ..wake them all up and do it like last year…
sorry but i hate united a lot more than that joke club with the chicken on a basketball…proud abu here …well done rafa!!
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Great stuff.
You have to laugh. The only other option is to cry your leg off. Both legs.
I agree with what Mel said back there.
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Been informed the lil’ Dutch boy missed a sitter this afternoon. Maybe old lady Karma is on the case. ‘Bout time. I couldn’t actually bear to watch it myself, I believe I would rather have my nadgers sandpapered, if push came to shove, than watch Man Utd these days.
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I also hate the Mancs more than the Spuds, Hunter.
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Harry – Karma indeed. Apart from seeing Van PayMe fluff two easy chances, just as he did for us same time last year, they were over-run in midfield by Chelsea. But we all know how Slur Alex is a brave gambler when he spunked £24M in transfer fees and a 4-year contact at £250 grand per week over 4 years on an ageing striker.
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Brilliant, insightful article. Wegner out! Give Ivan a wedgie! Hide Stan’s hairpiece!
@ ArsenalAndrew
“These variable – but always HUGE sums – were just waiting to be spent and of course would have been had it not been for Wenger’s obstinence and/or self-evident passion for asset-stripping in the first recorded instance in corporate history of an individual accumulating and preserving precious assets on behalf of the business supposedly being relieved of said assets.”
ha ha
I assume you’ve come across a certain commenter on Untold Arsenal?
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Despite his recent goal drought, I am blaming ManUre’s monumentally undeserved 20th title on J van C. They couldn’t have got this far without him.
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FunGunner – actually no! The ‘asset-stripping’ charge was fashionable a few months ago in various places.
It was significant for me as I realised there was/is a certain breed of follower prepared to invent any amount of unsupported fiction with the sole purpose of propagating their negative mindset whilst attempting to undermine the club.
It was the moment I lost patience with a good number of commentators …
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excellent but sarcasm is welcome here I think this post might have been even better if you could have smuggled it onto a doomer site 🙂
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I fear you’re right, FG. The paradox is that our goals scored per game in the EPL this season is currently (fractionally) higher than it was during last season. (Much higher than last year in all other competitions, by the way).
So their gain has perhaps not been quite the loss for us that some of us feared.
Anyway, none of that takes away from the sheer pleasure of seeing him blast the ball over the bar from point blank range – and Sir Rudolf’s reaction, to quote a description I saw many years ago, “like a conductor who has just unsucessfully signalled the trombones”.
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I generally try to avoid schadenfreude, but I really didn’t want the judas skunk to win the double – it’s bad enough that his treachory will be rewarded with the PL – enough already! I can’t say I’m displeased with the bonus that chelski have the distraction of another cup run as well. The universe is doing it’s bit, we just need to maintain focus and consistency for the run in.
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or treachery even!
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lol. i enjoyed reading this…..
also glad Chelsea won
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You forgot the small detail of Highbury being renovated and not kept for our reserve sides to play in.
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Passenal
Quite right to ration schadenfreude. Makes it so much more fun when you indulge in it.
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Judas Skunk!!! 😂😂😂😂😂
I hope I never get on the wrong side of you, Passenal!
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Just don’t post any derogatory ‘statements’ Georgaki and you’ll be alright!
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I agree with everything you say I am fed up with my Arsenal being a club in crisis. How can a club like Arsenal have a 60,000 seater stadium and only be 5th in the PL. Arsenal should be competing in all areas against Chelsea, Man City & Man U, I don’t care if they are three of the richest clubs in the world Arsenal should be out bidding them for players. I pay nearly £1000 for my ST and every penny goes towards Wenger and the players wages they owe me a trophy or two for the money I pay them.
What does Ivan do for his money that I pay him from my ST money, how do I know he is earning my hard earned ST money. While I’m on the subject what do the physio’s and doctors do at Arsenal my £1000 pays them for not getting players fit what are they doing with Diaby for example.
Arsenal are a club with no ambition what is the point of entering cups they know they can’t win. The board are rubbish my £1000 pays their wages and what do we get from them nothing just selling our best players. They encourage the stewards of the club who I pay for from my £1000 season ticket to be little Hitlers who just want to throw everybody out. The board have all that money in the bank and do nothing with it, a lot of that has come from hard working fans like me paying £1000 a season.
I demand trophies now, I demand Arsenal only enter cups they can win. I demand that Ivan loses his job. I demand better stewards. I demand that we sack all the board. I demand cheaper ticket prices
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stewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!
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